When it comes to praying for a spouse, to what degree should I expect God to fulfill my checklist? I read in a protestant book for women that we have no right to expect our husband to stay sexually pure if we constantly pull away. Can you give a TOB perspective on this?
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Q1: When it comes to praying for a spouse after discerning the call to marriage, to what extent should I expect God to consider my inner desires for physical beauty, age similarity and personality traits? I'm afraid to seek dates/courtship because of the possibility that God might expect me to be open to someone who doesn't meet my inner checklist.
I want to avoid the trap of thinking that "I" can ultimately satisfy my deepest desires, especially during the ache of singlehood. Is it wishful thinking to believe that "God doesn't show you gold and then give you silver" in the dating context?
Q2: In a Protestant book to help wives recover from the porn addiction of their husband, I read this: "While we're quick to expect our husbands to tow God's line of sexual purity, we're often slow to tow HIs other line and admit that our bodies aren't our own. We have no right to expect our husband to stay sexually pure if we constantly pull away. We're his sole vessel of sexual satisfaction and guys need regular sexual fulfillment, two to three times a week." I need the TOB point of view on this in my journey to heal.
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Resources mentioned this week:
Good News about Sex & Marriage (https://shop.corproject.com/collections/other-featured-products/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage)
Theology of the Body for Beginners (https://shop.corproject.com/collections/other-featured-products/products/theology-of-the-body-for-beginners)
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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals (https://tobinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/TOBI-Recommended-Psychologists-Updated-6-8-20.pdf).
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