Ryan Leier joins the podcast this week to talk about his struggle with depression after experiencing one of the greatest losses a parent can go through, and how yoga gave him the tools and the foundation for him to take life one step at a time. Find out how a yoga and meditation practice can help you create the space in your life to allow you to respond instead of simply reacting.
Ryan grew up in a typical middle class family. One of his earliest memories of pain was around relationship troubles and breakups. These challenges led to anxiety and depression, and in his early 20’s, Ryan started to feel pain from simply being alive.
Ryan’s first teachers were his father and mother. His dad was not just a father, but also his coach and mentor. His mother was his earliest guide on how to live right and treat other people well.
Sports and athletics had been a part of Ryan’s life until the age of 27. Being a father while living in Iceland was a big struggle for Ryan, and he’s thankful in some ways that he injured his shoulder playing basketball because that put him on the path to yoga.
Ryan’s selfishness got in the way of being a dad for the first couple of years of his daughter’s life, which is something that he does regret.
When he decided to give up basketball to be a present father, that’s when the depression really set in because so much of his identity was tied into his sport.
The greatest point of adversity in Ryan’s life was in losing his daughter five minutes after being born. He held everything together for the following 7 months until he, essentially, had a mental breakdown. It was a tough struggle to escape the depths of that depression and, in some ways, it still is.
For months afterward Ryan didn’t want to be alive, and he may not have made it through without the support of his friends and family.
Ryan studied the philosophy of yoga in high school and he often practiced meditation during that time, but it wasn’t until his shoulder injury and using yoga to rehab did Ryan get hooked on the practice.
Yoga is a way to freedom. It has the tools to get the best out of yourself, no matter what your goals are. There’s some medicine in it for everyone. Yoga and the movement is the opportunity to get out of your own way.
The emotion that kept coming up for Ryan was the feeling that he was never good enough. Without his meditation practice, he sometimes finds that voice creeping back into his life.
For Ryan, his meditation practice gives him the space to choose his response instead of simply reacting. Meditation gives you the space for grace to come in.
Ultimately, meditation is the practice of awareness, which is the basis for the ability to choose.
Avoid riding the uncontrollable rollercoaster of praise and dislike from other people.
Ryan is most grateful for the love and companionship of his friends and family. In his darkest days, those were the people that helped him see the light.
Sometimes, our pain is caused by the story we tell ourselves that we’re all alone, but that’s rarely the case. Ryan thought that it was a weakness to ask for help for most of his life, but now he understands that no one is perfect and being humble is a sign of strength, not failure.
If Ryan could give some advice to his younger self, it would be to be a student and keep learning. Once you think you’ve got everything figured out, that’s when you get squashed like a bug. To ask for guidance and pay attention to his elders.
You will never have every aspect of your life under complete control and that’s okay.
All things must pass, and you have some say in how long it lasts and how deep it goes. Find something that gives you inspiration and makes you feel light. There are tools available to help you get through the darkness.
During the pandemic, Ryan’s daily practice of yoga and prayers has been his lifeline and helped him stay out of the depths of depression and anxiety.
When Ryan was depressed, every little step was a challenge. One part of the practic