Hackaday editors Mike Szczys and Elliot Williams fan through a fantastic week of hacking. Most laser cutters try to go bigger, but there's a minuscule one that shows off a raft of exotic components you'll want in your bag of tricks. Speaking of tricks, this CNC scroll saw has kinematics the likes of which we've never seen before -- worth a look just for the dance of polar v. Cartesian elements. We've been abusing printf() for decades, but it's possible to run arbitrary operations just by calling this turing-complete function. We wrap the week up with odes to low-cost laptops and precision measuring. Show notes: https://hackaday.com/?p=417098