We tackle yet another late-aughts violent historical epic featuring a Roman centurion, painted barbarians and *sigh* the 9th Legion. This Gladiator-aspirant feels like a generic assemblage of every cliche from the last 60 years of sword and sandal films (along with more recent fantasy and war films); almost every discrete parts feels lifted from at least half-a-dozen other movies. For us, the most frustrating part is the movie touches on interesting ideas and themes concerning life in Roman Britain, only to fly right past them in favor of fireballs and pee-pee jokes. One thing we all agree on: this movie would be better with werewolves.