Couch Issues

FromHave Kids, They Said…

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Couch Issues

FromHave Kids, They Said…

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Length:

42 minutes

Released:

Sep 9, 2021

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

Nicole is stuck on the couch and Rich is in direct competition with his daughter's teacher.

Released:

Sep 9, 2021

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Good parenting advice is everywhere but SiriusXM hosts Nicole Ryan and Rich Davis aren’t afraid to pull the curtain back and laugh at some of their own parenting fails.

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The 11th Floor: Nicole suspects her son, Keegan, might be clairvoyant and Rich has had it with stickers. by Have Kids, They Said…
41 min listen
What Team Are You On?: Rich analyzes school drop-off fashion choices and Nicole has had it with Keegan’s demands for “cold water - two ice cubes”. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Trailer: Coming Soon: Longtime friends Nicole and Rich have gone from carefree twenty-somethings to (somewhat) responsible parents of small children. They exchange war stories about family life and laugh about the absurdity of modern parenting. by Have Kids, They Said…
1 min listen
Other Kids Ruin Everything: Rich and Nicole are sick of other people’s bratty kids and wonder how to discern if your child will grow up to be a serial killer. by Have Kids, They Said…
31 min listen
Donut or Doin’ It?: Rich is negotiating with terrorists (aka Emmy) and Nicole is dealing with limbs being stuck in places where limbs simply should not go. Also, when was the last time you ate a donut…. by Have Kids, They Said…
31 min listen
Judgy Do-Gooders: Nicole hates everything this week but most prominently Keegan’s “I can do it myself” phase and Rich learns about the crusty bacterial nightmare, impetigo. by Have Kids, They Said…
32 min listen
Private Parts: Nicole and Rich get into the nitty-gritty of how to handle kids handling their private parts and Ben dons his very becoming baby helmet. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
What Did You Just Say to Me?: Between knock knock jokes, accusations of insanity and blatant lies, Nicole’s entire family has turned against her and Rich is discovering that he’s on the fast track to becoming Emmy’s bitch. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
The F-Word: Certain words are being banned in Nicole’s house and Rich gets his first “Dad” from Emmy. by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Swinging Into 2021: Nicole and Rich guess one another's resolutions and explore which of their kids’ recent habits should actually concern them. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Happy Swallow Schween!: Nicole and Rich celebrate an important anniversary to kick off this special, where they reminisce about Halloweens past and lament the limitations of Halloween present. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
Booblets: Nicole faces the next generation of “calm down, relax” and Rich is impressed with Emmy’s creative lyrical ad-libbing. by Have Kids, They Said…
34 min listen
Hanukkah Bush: Nicole and Rich debate whether Santa can be used as a threat and Nicole remembers how her family celebrated Hanukkah growing up. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Johnny!: Rich is off kids duty for a week which means sex and pizza and Nicole taught her son Keegan something she now (sort of) regrets. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
Barista Boys and Bouncy Slides: “I’m glad everybody’s here because it’s time to listen, pull up a chair” - Rich Davis by Have Kids, They Said…
46 min listen
Christmas Nightmares: Keegan Spills at the dentist (multiple times) and Emmy has been permanently scarred by the Disney version of a Christmas Carol. by Have Kids, They Said…
44 min listen
A Series of Unfortunate Events: Rich is wearing a beautiful bathrobe to begin celebrating the holidays and Nicole is in a glass case of emotion. by Have Kids, They Said…
34 min listen
Cake Pops.: Nicole and Rich both hate the Brits this week, agree that Cake Pops are a food group for people under five and ponder the cutoff age for having sex in front of your children. by Have Kids, They Said…
32 min listen
Letters Home: Rich discovers his calling and Nicole recounts a mortifying letter sent home to friends about their son. by Have Kids, They Said…
42 min listen
Bragging at Inopportune Moments: Rich fights his passive-aggressive nature and avoids bragging about Emmy and Nicole’s husband Matt has a zoom crush. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Daddy Here: Nicole found where her son has been hiding all his trash and Rich is looking for the line between overdoing it and under doing it. by Have Kids, They Said…
48 min listen
Crying Over Spilt Milk: Rich believes he’s being emotionally abused by his three-year-old and Nicole has a story about getting peed on. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Toonophilia: Keegan’s #winning has got Nicole on edge and Rich’s workout equipment is rebelling. by Have Kids, They Said…
33 min listen
Observing the Childless: Rich has been observing friends without children and breaks down their envious daily activities for Nicole who can’t get enough of her greatest escape: Bridgerton. by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Throwback Thursday: Rich throws it back with a list of things all kids do and Nicole is “rounding down, like I always do” when it comes to money. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
We’re Thankful For…: No one wants to hang out with Rich and Nicole recounts how she got into an accidental beef with a woman on a scooter. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
To Vasectomy or not to Vasectomy?: From cows with surprising names to that big question Dad’s face, this week Rich and Nicole have got genitalia on the brain. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Butt Lobes: Rich is worried that Emmy is too soft and Nicole is considering sticking a fork in her husband Matt’s eye. by Have Kids, They Said…
44 min listen
Sasshole: Rich and Nicole get into the weirdness of Santa pandemic pictures and reminisce about their own school photos. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Release the Beast: Nicole and Rich take on “Unparenting” and talk through some of their less conventional parenting methods. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen

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I’m Not a Chai Guy: Exclusive to Have Kids, They Said Podcast: Rich finds out the (non at all scientific) SEVEN Questions You Should Ask Your Soulmate and puts Nicole to the test. We then talk about our perfect Starbucks order (and the coffee with the longest title, can you guess?), how there are way too many parties in the park (and whose kid is crashing them all) at the same time, and why we don’t let grandma mind the kids. PLUS, Nicole gets recognized on the subway but (you guessed it) her daughter finds it cringe. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Nicole is not the Skibidi Rizzler: Nicole & Rich are feeling a little OK, Boomer today with everyone showing up with a sigma and rizz, no cap. We get real stuck into JLo and Ben's relationship, why Bad Boys is killin’ it at the Box Office and how to be the better person through a divorce for the kids. Meanwhile, Rich finds out what graduation ceremonies are like these days (no whooping or hollering!) and Nicole wonders, do the curtains match the drapes when it comes to old men in Hollywood dyeing their silvers. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
A$$es Are OUT!: Today, Nicole and Rich are in their bikini/mankini and looking for some good quality 1:1 time with the kids, but not too much time with the neighbors (why can’t they get the hint to clear out?!) who love Nicole’s Live Laugh Love home decor (JK!). We hear what makes Nicole’s daughter ‘cringe’ and if Rich is the topic of Nicole’s therapy. We also meet Major Buddy! by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Pits Balls Butthole AND FEET: It’s real love with a prenup! Rich & Nicole are so worried about love and marriage when someone in their 90s looks like a walking skeleton on his wedding day! But soon enough we get wistful about the icons who taught us how to read: the OG Levar Burton! You’ll hear our thoughts on which parts of our bodies we should wash (non negotiable!), kids & having a ditch day, vaping and our thoughts on authority figures and what we all actually want to know: Did Rich have a rattail in the 80s?! by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
The Big Booty 200!: Nicole & Rich are celebrating with you today for it’s the 200th Episode of Have Kids, They Said! Take a walk down memory lane, revisit the wild and wonderful topics like lactation porn, diaper bombs, testing The Mormon Soak, having Bridgerton Sex, and who could forget Tinsel Tits. Rich then tries to convince how we’re all VIPs with a TSA Pre-Check and we remember the time Nicole almost died? We also discover new ways to embarrass your kids! Thank you for listening to Have Kids, They Said! We love you! by Have Kids, They Said…
53 min listen
Scammed by a 7 Year Old: This episode Nicole & Rich get really stuck into the many reasons why we can’t have nice things, why people suck and why was Rich scammed so easily by a 7 year old?! You’ll also hear what Chuck E. Cheese and Cardi B have in common, why Nicole has a picnic blanket with her and if Rich made it to his kid's birthday party after travel delays. The woes of parenting and getting the work life balance, and plenty more! by Have Kids, They Said…
34 min listen
Syringe Baby (with Matt Ryan): Proving that YES we are all body and sex positive these days, Nicole & Rich are back for another week of NSFK (not safe for kids) topics but are joined by Nicole’s husband Matt Ryan for an exclusive & detailed conception story, (will they ever know for sure?). They also answer your questions about that hellhole daily grind of 5pm to bedtime, getting outside with your kids and could Rich be parent of the year? by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Not Car-ee!: Rich experiences the biggest meltdown ever in public while his partner Sarah has a Mom’s Night Out where the gals let their hair down. Nicole hears all about the modern parenting trends right now and especially wants to let her kids get bored, but you can’t miss her story about one of kids letting a big one rip in the elevator. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Who’s the F*cking Boss?: It’s time to debrief on the events of Mother’s Day because Nicole isn’t happy, and when did it become her responsibility to capture all the family memories!? Meanwhile, Rich is trying some new discipline techniques to stop the eye rolling and we hear your parenting questions about birthday party etiquette, maintaining friendships and more. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
Bathroom Pump Up: Should parents still ground their kids? That's today's big topic, but first Nicole's hubby Matt makes a guest appearance to help settle an important debate: is it normal for men to do bathroom push-ups before sex? Plus, in "Top That" we hear why dog owners may want to avoid buying a Roomba and about the bonkers photo requests made by Rich's seatmate on a recent flight. by Have Kids, They Said…
46 min listen
Girthy Gary: Nicole and Rich dive into the week's hot pop culture news, from The Roast of Tom Brady to the Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar rap beef—and you bet Nicole somehow manages to bring the convo back to Taylor Swift. They then answer your questions about healthy eating habits for kids, how to choose another couple to vacation with, and how to handle a toddler sneaking out at night. If you want to learn Rich and Nicole's early radio host nicknames, you won't want to miss this episode! by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Where Should I Put This Bad Boy?: As professional talkers both Nicole and Rich have been suffering from the Art of Small Talk recently. Rich cannot believe the words that are coming out of his mouth in various awkward encounters this week. Meanwhile, Nicole’s son has been up to mischief and her housecleaner shaming her bedroom antics. We hate cake pops, lice and Woody Woodpecker this week and you will laugh/cry too. Oh! And Nicole & Rich will be reunited soon and celebrate 20 years of friendship! by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Put the P in the V: Today, Nicole can’t even get one whole minute alone from the kids to record the podcast while Rich nurses a Little League injury from a 6 year-old. It’s peak parenting time all round! We hear from you this week, with your questions about travel, Justin Beiber & Jerry Seinfeld, when’s the right time to have another kid and what are three things we can’t live without. by Have Kids, They Said…
34 min listen
Financial Boner: As a parent, what is turning you on? Rich & Nicole are constantly surprised at what has them hot and bothered. It’s Spring Break for Nicole and she’s discovered her love language is logistics while her husband Matt is chaotically “time blind”. Rich is juggling some wildly competitive kids on the softball field. And we wanna know, are you ordering kids meals for yourself while dining out? Also Nicole interviews The Rock with an unfortunate interruption from her kid. Truly a ‘Have Kids They Said’ moment. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Keep It Hairy: We learn how to properly blow (out candles) and while we're waiting for the Spice Girls reunion, Taylor Swift teaches us about what "fortnight" means. Rich continues to be a sport fan but please no farts. Nicole and Rich ask the big questions: Do we worry about the end of the world? Is the best era of Women’s Sports here? And what is the right protocol with kids' parties and no gifts? But if you're under 45 years old and your name is Barbara, Nicole & Rich wanna know you! Give the IG a follow and send a DM! by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Play Fierce: Today Nicole and Rich recap stories from Coachella and The Masters before discussing acceptable excuses to miss your child's birth. Then, cool mom Nicole laments that her kids are finding her more embarrassing while Rich sounds off on parents who think it's wrong to coach kids in sports to "play angry." And last but not least, Rich reveals he sobbed during the Bluey half-hour special and Nicole recounts how her auctioneer career got effed by a dumb Gatsby font. Top that! by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Koozie Stache: Nicole has new glasses! Which naturally leads to discussing... smuggling drugs through TSA inside bodily orifices? Yep! After that fun detour, Rich & Nicole dish about NYC reducing its rat population using RAT BIRTH CONTROL (yes, this is real), how weird it is seeing a teacher outside of school, and restaurant check splitting etiquette. Plus, they dive into how to keep a younger child occupied at events (hint: stuff their face with snacks) and if it's ok to taste your partner's breast milk. Yum? by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Peppermint Patty: What are we wearing to school drop off & pick up, people? Rich thinks parents are a little TOO put together in LA, meanwhile New Yorkers are 1000% keeping it real like usual, according to Nicole. This episode you’re getting all the ups and downs of parent life: drama at the junior sports league, whether to book a cleaner or DIY, accidentally creating VIP kids and finally, we’ll find out what the difference between a hotel and a motel is. by Have Kids, They Said…
43 min listen
Hide the Smut: If you’re calling radio stations and making song requests in the year 2024, then Nicole and Rich are not going to stand for it! This episode, you’ll hear a little game of ‘Nerd OR Awesome?’ and we wanna know: what kind of books would you put on display on your newly built bookshelves? You’ll also get the lowdown on the team’s fave emojis, a bunch of fun listener questions and which fast food restaurant we’d want to literally bottle and make into a candle. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Sex Lives of Conjoined Girls: This week has been a doozy - Nicole gives an update to her eye problems and why her health is causing her so much stress. But on to lighter things - doesn’t everyone in New York have a friend who f*cked Jeter? This week Nicole hates that her son forgets to flush, not doing Target HER way, and not being able to see causing her to go the wrong way on the subway. Rich hates that his daughter isn’t being gentle with his son, that everything in their house is a competition, and his kids being picky. But that’s okay, because we’ve GOT to talk about how conjoined twin Abby Hensel got married. I mean…what does that entail. Rich and Nicole say what everyone is thinking. Finally, they top that with bad health days, not being the funniest person in the room, and is this cake? by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Sick Pirate: Now this is how you start a podcast - coughing your lungs out. Why? Because everyone is sick. Nicole and Rich talk about how you can’t blame someone for getting you sick anymore. Nicole opens up about her current “Ace Ventura vibe,” and Rich reads his list of the week (kids need to read the room, holidays are too complicated, and no bad April Fools pranks). They answer your questions about dealing with your kids’ bad friends, allowing independence, and wonder what’s the deal with grandparents these days? by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Marigolds & Gummies: Today, Nicole and Rich are wondering how you enhance your life as a parent (without your kids around!) before getting into spring break activities that drain us of our energy and our wallets, fun date night ideas and you’ll find out why Rich has a nipple problem. by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Bangin’ Oldies: Nicole and Rich jumped to conclusions and debrief after the recent Royal news and they wanna know: when did you get it wrong? Meanwhile, they whip through some insightful parenting advice thanks to your questions on sleeping, how many precious years do we have with our kids and how to find time for your sex life while parenting. Also, we have some hot tips on baby names, and how P.F. Chang's determined Rich’s kid name. A friendly reminder that this podcast is definitely not safe for kids, it’s for parents only! by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Droppin’ Loads: Nicole and Rich are thinking about two things: the Olympics and ... Kate Middleton. Stick around for things we hate this week (could give you the ICK - the NSFW variety), if our kids are competitive (and if we want them to be as parents), and some wild naked escapades that could actually be the best 'Top That' of all time. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Faked It!: When was the last time you had a sloppy joe? Nicole & Rich are back with lots of flavorful stories (and memories) along with The F*ck Do We Know questions for you today about parenting, how you find a great (or just decent) pediatrician, how do you get your kids to eat actual healthy food and plenty more. by Have Kids, They Said…
39 min listen
Turn Up the Heat: Parents have gone wild this week as Rich is back from vacation and knows way too much about the Spring Breaker crowd. We talk about what 'words' work with your kids, who is the 'fun parent' (Rich? or Nicole?) and then what goes down in the intimacy aisle STAYS in the intimacy aisle. Steamy! by Have Kids, They Said…
47 min listen
Collect All Six: Today, Nicole is not committing Murder on the Dancefloor, while Rich has his kids packing light for vacation. The pair celebrate the Kelce family's success in parenting Jason & Travis and recall two VERY different parents from the first reality TV show: The Osbournes. Nicole & Rich also dig deep into whether we need parent's permission to post photos to socials. Special guest stars Emmy & Ben pop by and their collectible toys (and what we hate)! by Have Kids, They Said…
47 min listen
The Hot Ones: Nicole & Rich are back with their regular podcasting schedule and here to answer your questions on a Tuesday! Do we want to know the ins and outs of famous people's sex lives? Have we heard about the F*ck You Fours as opposed to the Terrible Twos? What's your fantasy now you're a parent? What's the best age to travel with your kids for an actual relaxing holiday? AND, are you the hot one at school pick up? by Have Kids, They Said…
33 min listen
Appleberry Bottom: Nicole and Rich are back with an update about the podcast and get straight back into it! They discuss who has the best-looking feet, how to deal with 4-year-old tantrums and if YouTube’s Ms Appleberry is the best teacher around. Rich asks Nicole when - if EVER - is the right circumstance to cover our friend's babysitter bill? Also find out why snail jizz gets a special shout out. by Have Kids, They Said…
46 min listen
Matt Ryan's Rage: Matt Ryan co-hosts this special episode with Nicole and the pair discuss psycho basketball dads, Matt's recent injury and traveling with kids. They also go over freezing on camera, bad dogs and broken elevators. by Have Kids, They Said…
48 min listen

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Couch Issues

Couch Issues

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from Have Kids, They Said…