In case you didn’t know, this podcast is called the Piano Parent Podcast. Most episodes deal with common obstacles or struggles students face when learning to play the piano. Today, I’d like to spend our time together by focusing on just you, parents. Specifically, today I want to encourage you to stand firm and do not give in. Listen to the full episode here Click here to download this episode. Remember the goal is to train your child Since my youngest is 16 and my parenting skills are a little dated, I decided to check out what others say about modern parenting. This article by Robert Locke from LIfehack.org had some interesting things to say about this topic. He says it is a mistake to give in to have a quiet life. Many parents give in because they have to juggle credit card, shopping, trolley and a screaming child. The only problem about giving in and hoping for a quiet life is that the child has learned a new strategy. This will be used again and again. It works! I couldn’t agree more and I’ll talk a bit more about giving in in a bit but I have a few comments about his ‘fix’ for temptation in the grocery store. The best way to avoid grocery store meltdowns is to: Make sure that the child has had his snack before going shopping Yes and No - those temptations have nothing to do with hunger We see, we want - unless we have a good strategy in mind Avoid shopping with a child in tow Yes and No - Duane often says he’d rather go to the store without me because we end up spending more money. LOL I’d prefer that you include your child in the grocery shopping trip If they are learning to write, have them write a shopping list I love the little child sized carts! Use this opportunity to teach them….anything! Colors, sorting, price comparison, counting money Use delivery services as much as possible Solves the problem of grocery shopping but doesn’t teach our children any form of discipline. Lobby supermarkets to stop stocking checkouts with junk food This one irks me the most. It demands other people take responsibility to make things easier for me. NO! I need to take responsibility for myself and I must teach my children to make responsible choices. Make it stop! Our temptation when our child is being disagreeable - they are whining about playing a song they think is too hard - or having a full-on temper tantrum - they are crying and hiding under the piano bench to avoid the piano (This happened many years ago in a lesson. I held the young man’s hand and marched him out to his mother’s car. I told her his lesson was over for the day and that we would try again next week. I am proud to tell you that same young man has continued lessons with me all these years and will be graduating high school this year. He has continued to study piano his own way and has achieved unconventional success but he has learned to keep working and to respect my instruction. Hugh goal achieved!) Our temptation in those situations is to give in. Just make it stop! Like Robert Locke says in his article, that is teaching your child a strategy but it is not about coping or perseverance or discipline. Giving in only teaches them that crying and being loud works. Each time you give in, their will becomes stronger. The first time you do not give in, you may feel like they will never stop crying or they will never settle down. Once they learn that tactic is not going to be successful, they will not work so hard at their tantrum (an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.) the next time. Each time you stand your ground. You speak calmly to the child, assure them that you love them and they are safe but remind them that they must obey you. Their tantrum will become less powerful and last a shorter period of time. If it’s not working, they are smart and will try a different strategy. Set YOURSELF up for success Here are some suggestions for setting your piano kid and yourself up for success. Prepare your chi