The opening week of the season could have gone, well, a lot better. But misery loves company so Ian Stone, Art de Roché and James McNicholas are here to provide that for you.
This week, which defender has the turning circle of a ship in a harbour? Who's just staring into nothingness? And why was Torreira at a theme park?
RUNNING ORDER
PART 1 - Oblivion (01.30)

PART 2 - Brentford 2-0 Arsenal (05.00)

PART 3 - Transfers (26.00)

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