S6E3: So Long, Splitsville

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S6E3: So Long, Splitsville

FromLove Letters

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38 minutes

Released:

Dec 14, 2021

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Podcast episode

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When Ian Coss talks about the legacy of divorce in his family, he’s not kidding. Everybody split up -- parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, multiple aunts and uncles. So when Ian fell in love himself, understanding these broken commitments became his way of avoiding the same fate. Plus, writer and podcaster Christina Tucker on whether universal rules even exist in love and dating. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. (Next episode: Jan. 4)

Released:

Dec 14, 2021

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

A single, burning question about love and relationships, every season. Explored through stories. Hosted by Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein.

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S2E10: Extreme Love: How do you build a relationship with someone who saved your life? In the final episode of Season 2, Meredith Goldstein shares stories of love that flowered in moments of stress and danger. Her sister, Brette, confesses to a trick she once used to woo someone on a roller coaster. Plus, Meredith brings Erin into the studio to reflect on what she learned this season as the Love Letters guinea pig. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Season 2 Trailer: How Do You Meet Someone?: On Season 2 of Love Letters, Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein tackles one of love’s fundamental questions: How do you meet someone? Through stories, advice from experts, and confessions from her own life, Meredith will explore what works, what doesn’t, and what it means to be dating in 2019. Season 2 of Love Letters launches February 12. by Love Letters
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S1E6: The Night I Became Roy Orbison: Meredith explores the healing power of music after a breakup. A lovelorn actress walks into a karaoke bar -- and finally finds peace. Hit songwriter Bonnie Hayes explains the universality of a good song. And a master playlist-maker shares his breakup recommendations. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
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S1E1: Getting Under to Get Over: It’s common advice after a breakup: The best way to get over an ex is to get under someone new. But does it work? Is rebound sex empowering, or does it just leave you feeling lonelier? Meredith Goldstein explores the emotions -- and the science -- at play in one of life’s most vulnerable moments. Email us your thoughts at loveletters@boston.com and find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
22 min listen
S1E8: The Friend Zone: Some people believe that establishing a friendship with your ex is the true sign you’ve moved on from the relationship. It’s not always that simple, though. In the final episode of Season One, Meredith explores friendship with exes -- including her own -- and she talks to Esther Perel about what makes that possible. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
24 min listen
S E1: Bonus Episode: Camp Love: In this special bonus episode of Love Letters, Meredith explores camp love and the end-of-summer goodbyes that inevitably follow. Summer romances can be fleeting and ultimately insignificant. But sometimes they can mean much more. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
21 min listen
Season 3 Trailer: How Do You Know?: How do you know when it’s true love? When to sleep together for the first time? When to leave someone? This season of Love Letters, Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein takes on a universal question: How do you know? Stories, confessions, expert advice, and more. Season 3 launches September 24. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or tweet at us using #loveletterspodcast. by Love Letters
3 min listen
Bonus Episode: Finding Love in the Comments: In this bonus episode, Meredith Goldstein talks to two people who met their partners in online communities — including one who found love in the comments section of Meredith’s column. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
20 min listen
S1E5: 'I Feel Like It Was Fate': The impulse to reinvent after a breakup can be strong. We want to run and chop our hair off. Or change careers. Or maybe climb a mountain. Meredith explores this quest for “breakup accomplishments” and how they help us raise our value -- not necessarily for other people, but for ourselves. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
22 min listen
Season 1 Trailer: Getting Over It: Is a breakup the end of something, or only the beginning? In Season One of Love Letters, Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein explores this question through intimate stories of love and heartbreak and confessions from her own life. Love Letters launches March 20. by Love Letters
3 min listen
S2E6: Beware the Fairy Tales: Everybody wants a meet-cute story. It’s like we’ve all watched so many rom-coms that anything less feels like a letdown. But what does a meet-cute truly mean to a relationship? Meredith Goldstein explores this question by revisiting the story of how her parents met. Also in the episode, Meredith tires quickly of swiping, but Erin does not -- and gets rewarded. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
23 min listen
S1E7: You've Got to Keep Living: Can you really get back together after a breakup? Does harboring that hope prevent you from moving on? Meredith tackles these often-asked questions and explores the pitfalls of wishful thinking. And she talks to one family who defied the odds in an extraordinary way. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
19 min listen
S2E8: Carpe Diem (or Matt Dorfman): To find a partner, sometimes you’ve just gotta grab the moment. This is something Meredith Goldstein knows all too well. Because that guy she liked in college? Matt Dorfman? Well, she missed her chance. In Episode 8, Meredith explores bravery and regret, and she tells the story of one British photographer who did act on her romantic impulse. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
30 min listen
S1E2: Don't Look at the Cupcakes: Breaking up was easier before social media. Not the emotional part -- that was always hard -- but the mechanics of it. You broke up and just avoided each other at the mall. Today, disentangling is … complicated. Photos of your ex with a new love infiltrate your news feed. Even a Venmo transaction can send you reeling. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
19 min listen
S2E2: Take It Up with H.R.: Meredith Goldstein tells the story of one of the riskier work crushes she’s come across. Because, really, what’s riskier than falling in love with H.R.? Meredith also explores the complexities of dating in the workplace in the #MeToo era, and she talks do’s and don’t’s with an employment lawyer who’s seen and heard it all. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
24 min listen
S2E9: Benchwarming: If you’re dating, it’s a thing you hear a lot: A good way to meet someone is to take a class or join a social activity. Like playing on a co-ed volleyball team. Taking a sourdough bread-making class. Signing up for pottery. But does it work? In Episode 9, Meredith Goldstein looks at whether activities, classes, and clubs can lead you to love. Plus, something good happens to Erin. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
21 min listen
S4E1: Balls to the Wall: When Jenni and Drew hit their 40s, Drew decides to build a ball pit in their house. Not for their kids -- for him. The splurge fulfills a lifelong dream of Drew's, but it also holds a lesson about marriage, self-care at middle age, and learning to live for the moment. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
26 min listen
S2E3: Single? Live Here!: Does where you live affect your dating life? Would it be easier to find a partner if you lived in another city? Meredith Goldstein investigates these oft-asked questions through conversations with three people who have lived and dated in multiple zip codes. Plus, Meredith checks in with Erin, the single woman whose dating life Love Letters is chronicling all season. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
21 min listen
S2E1: ‘He Doesn’t Look Odious’: In the first episode of the new season, Meredith Goldstein asks: Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned set-up? She talks to two friends with starkly different views on whether set-ups are worthwhile, and she visits a salon that offers far more than haircuts. Plus, Meredith introduces Erin, a 44-year-old single woman whose dating life Love Letters will be chronicling all season. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
25 min listen
S2E5: A Spark in the Darkness: Trust. Intimacy. Affection. They’re all key ingredients to a healthy romantic relationship. But what happens when pain, trauma, and memory get in the way? In Episode Five, Meredith Goldstein explores the unique challenges of trying to find love and connection after a difficult past. Also, Erin has a promising date and Meredith starts swiping for the first time in her life. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
29 min listen
S1E4: For Coffee, in Paris: So much evaporates after a breakup -- the sweet texts, the lazy brunches, the shared Hulu account you both used for the “The Handmaid’s Tale.” But mementos from your time together remain, like relics of another era. Is it better to hold onto these things, or to dump them? Meredith investigates. With a cameo by Margo Howard. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
19 min listen
S3E8: Mom's New Boyfriend: As a newly single mom, Lauren had to wrestle with two big questions. First, when to start dating again. Second, how and when to introduce her daughter to the men she was seeing. For Lauren -- and for anyone trying to date while raising kids -- the stakes can be quite high. Have a story of your own? Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
32 min listen
S2E4: What Fresh Hell Is This?: Dating can feel like a second full-time job. You feel like you have to constantly check the apps, update your profiles, and swipe on new faces, lest you miss out on something. And that’s all before you actually go on any dates. In this episode, Meredith Goldstein looks at the epidemic of dating fatigue. She talks to comedian Lane Moore, the brains behind the show “Tinder Live” and the author of “How To Be Alone,” and hits the bar with Erin, the woman Love Letters is following all season. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
24 min listen
S3E4: Eat, Pray, Love, Eat: One night on a dark dance floor, Douglass Williams bumped into the woman who would change his life. Not just because they went on to get married and start a family together. She gave him a lifelong gift -- one he didn’t know he was looking for … Have a story of your own? Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
21 min listen
S4E3: No Ghosts Allowed: Monica grew up an Air Force brat, moving with her family from base to base in Europe, Asia, and the United States. She never stuck around long enough to make meaningful connections. It wasn't until her 20s that Monica learned an important lesson: Relationships matter, and when they end, you must honor them with a proper goodbye. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
26 min listen
S3E5: Leave the Light On: Marlee and John’s relationship got serious fast after an a-ha moment at a Michigan bar. They got married and built a local arts community together. Ultimately, their marriage didn’t last. But their relationship did. Have a story of your own? Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
28 min listen
S1E3: Cloudy with a Chance of Breakup: The worst kinds of breakups are the murky ones. You think maybe you've been dumped, but you’re not totally sure. Or you know you’ve been dumped but still have so many questions, starting with: Why? Meredith learns the do’s and don’t’s of breaking up -- from the people who know best. Email us at loveletters@boston.com or find us online at loveletters.show. by Love Letters
22 min listen
Bonus Episode: Love Letters Live: Meredith Goldstein and special guests take the stage at the Comedy Studio at Bow Market in Somerville, Mass. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
58 min listen
S2E7: Going for Broke: Meeting someone takes work, time, and commitment. It can also take money. Sometimes a lot. In Episode 7, Meredith Goldstein explores what we spend on dating and why. She talks to Lindsey Stanberry, of Refinery29’s “Money Diaries,” and tells the story of a woman who spent serious money on a professional matchmaker. Plus, Erin makes a cameo on The Science of Happiness podcast. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
26 min listen
S3E1: Two Rings to Rule Them All: Elizabeth and Dave are two Austin musicians who initially sought different things from their relationship. In time, both knew they were meant to be together. But how? What did that “knowing” look like? … Have a story of your own? Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
25 min listen

More Episodes from Love Letters

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Breakups, Revisited (from the Embodied podcast): Join Meredith and fellow advice columnist Stacia Brown as they talk breakups with Anita Rao, host of the podcast “Embodied.” Stacia and Meredith give some guidance on how to break up “well” and discuss going no-contact, navigating social media, and finding the right breakup anthem for the moment. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. You can also send relationship questions to Meredith and sign up for Love Letters updates by texting 617-744-7007. by Love Letters
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S9E9: I'm Like a Bird: As an animal researcher, Meghan Martin made groundbreaking discoveries about how giant female pandas choose their mates. She realized that they wouldn’t shack up with just any old male. They wanted a choice. The same held true, she would learn, with rabbits, birds, and other species. The question for Meghan was this: Could she apply those lessons to the human world—to her own world? Plus, we visit a Rhode Island animal shelter that raised money by letting people pay to have cats defecate on the names of exes. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. You can also send relationship questions to Meredith and sign up for Love Letters updates by texting 617-744-7007. by Love Letters
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S9E8: Esther Perel (Makes Me Attractive): Are more people considering polyamory these days? Has the pandemic permanently changed the ways we relate to each other? And can Esther Perel take some credit for Meredith's dating success? Meredith sits down with the psychotherapist, relationship expert, and all-around empathetic person to get into these questions and more. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. You can also send relationship questions to Meredith and sign up for Love Letters updates by texting 617-744-7007. by Love Letters
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S9E7: Winning It All: In Part Two of our series on pro athletes and their spouses, we talk to Shannon Allen, the wife of former NBA superstar Ray Allen, about a bittersweet moment in their lives. by Love Letters
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S9E6: Here's to the Home Team: What does it feel like to be the partner of a pro athlete? Where do you find support to handle the public pressure, the instability, the constant threat of being traded? Today, we bring you a two-part series on elite athletes, their spouses, and the people who help them. by Love Letters
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S9E5: Maura Healey's Soundtrack: Ever since Massachusetts Gov. Maura Healey was a kid, music has played a major role in her life. “Eye of the Tiger” got her pumped for basketball games. She caught sets from Joan Baez and Melissa Etheridge working as a cocktail waitress. When she came out in her early 20s, she found solace in the Indigo Girls. These days, the governor uses music to center herself, especially at hard moments. She and her partner, Joanna Lydgate, sit down with Meredith to talk about how music helps them in their lives and in their relationship. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. You can also send relationship questions to Meredith and sign up for Love Letters updates by texting 617-744-7007. by Love Letters
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Love & Sports with Dan Shaughnessy: Meredith’s advice column turns 15 this year. 15! So she’s feeling a little nostalgic. In this episode, Meredith sits down with longtime Boston Globe sports columnist Dan Shaughnessy to trade notes on the thousands of columns each has written over the years. They also compare grief in love to grief in sports, reflect on why sports reporters have always been big fans of Love Letters, and discuss the couple of the moment: Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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S9E4: Avengers, Assemble!: When it came time for Sophia to leave a difficult relationship, she knew she couldn’t do it alone. So she assembled a first-rate team, made up of friends, acquaintances, family members, and therapists. Having all of them behind her not only set Sophia free; it gave her back her future. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
37 min listen
S9E3: The Puppetmaster: Michael and Alessandra were both single, bored, and lonely when they got together in mid-2020. It was the height of the pandemic; everyone craved companionship. But in time, Michael and Alessandra discovered that they were better as good friends. And what do good friends do? They help you find true love. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
28 min listen
Going Deep with Krista Tippett, from Kelly Corrigan Wonders: A bonus episode via the podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders. Kelly sits down with Krista Tippett, the longtime host and spiritual guide of On Being, which began as a radio program and is now a podcast. At a moment when everything is broken open, when institutions are received with less reverence and more skepticism, Kelly and Krista consider: Where should we point our minds and hearts? What practices serve us best? Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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S9E2: The Parent Trap: When Nimish left Nepal for college in the United States, he expected some serious challenges, like adjusting to a new culture and studying in a new language. Finding love was not top-of-mind. But as he got older and started to date more, Nimish’s romantic life became his biggest source of anxiety. Because with each budding relationship came an all-consuming question: How do I explain this to my parents? Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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S9E1: Find Your People: A few years ago, while at summer camp in North Carolina, Ray was wrestling with some of life’s biggest questions. Identity, love, growing up, a first kiss — Ray had a lot on their mind, and no one to confide in. Until they met Maria, a counselor clad in sandals and tie-dye who would become Ray’s mentor, guide, life coach, and cheerleader, all wrapped into one. In this first episode of the new season, a portrait of two people and their lasting, beautiful bond. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Check Out Murder in Boston: 1989 Boston. The crack epidemic is raging, the murder rate soaring, and white flight has taken hold. Charles Stuart and his pregnant wife, Carol, are carjacked, drawn deep into a dangerous “inner city” neighborhood, and allegedly shot by a Black man. All of Boston – and the nation – is gripped by the hunt for the suspect. What follows will reveal truths about the city... and ourselves. Presented by The Boston Globe and HBO Documentary Films, Murder in Boston: The Untold Story of the Charles and Carol Stuart Shooting is hosted by Adrian Walker who, along with a team of Pulitzer-winning investigative reporters, unveils explosive new findings and change the narrative of a story long cemented in the city’s lore. The HBO Documentary Series Murder in Boston: Roots, Rampage, and Reckoning is available to stream on Max. by Love Letters
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Season 9 Trailer: Thanks for the Help: Almost every love story has a supporting cast — friends, relatives, therapists, and others who play a key role in what happens. In Season 9 of Love Letters, we pay tribute to those important figures in the background. You’ll hear all kinds of stories about help and guidance people received in their romantic lives, from an ex who became the perfect wingperson, to the communities that support the spouses of pro athletes, to the best queer mentor anyone could ask for. Season 9 launches Jan. 23. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Sidebar: Dear Internet, You're Wrong About The Cheesecake Factory: It’s Meredith against the world in this bonus episode as she attempts to prove why a viral list of places women will supposedly never go on a first date is wrong, and why The Cheesecake Factory – that’s right, The Cheesecake Factory – is a totally acceptable date spot. To pull this off, she takes her producer, Jesse, to one of her most beloved spots for a platonic work-date. They discuss everything from Meredith’s devotion to the chain restaurant, to the horoscopian powers of The Cheesecake Factory’s menu, to Shaquille O’Neal and Barbie. All classic first-date stuff. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Sidebar: Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson: Meredith sits down with her sister, Brette, to tackle two family-themed letters from the Love Letters column. First, a woman feels some tension with her future sister-in-law. Second, a writer discovers that her boyfriend and her mother had a one-night-stand in the past. Should the woman confront her mom? Does the mom even remember this guy? How are they going to make it through the holidays? Send your own letter to loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Bonus: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds Are Here for Laughs: Meredith sits down with comedians Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds, co-hosts of the popular new podcast “We’re Here to Help.” Gareth and Jake — who played Nick Miller on the hit show "New Girl" — are longtime friends who bonded doing improv together. Their podcast is a lot like them: fun, silly, sometimes accidentally poignant. Meredith, Jake, and Gareth compare their approaches to advice-giving and dish on baldness, horses, and trashy TV. Warning: This episode is very fun. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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We Found Love, Part 1: I Met My Husband in Prison: The first chapter of “We Found Love,” a three-part miniseries exploring how romantic love and partnership run up against – and sometimes transcend – the criminal justice system. Through the stories of three couples, at all different stages in their relationships, Boston Globe reporter Ivy Scott dives deep into what it takes to find love in a hopeless place. In today’s episode, she tells the story of Sharlene, a successful working mother with a secret, and Blake, a Southern gentleman serving time for second-degree murder. Their first encounter, in the visiting room of a Massachusetts state prison, would change the course of their lives. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Bonus: Susanna Fogel on Her New Movie, 'Cat Person': Meredith sits down with director Susanna Fogel to discuss Susanna’s new movie, "Cat Person," based on the buzzy 2017 short story by Kristen Roupenian in The New Yorker. They discuss Susanna’s decision to cast Nicholas Braun and Emilia Jones as romantic leads; the role that friends play in sussing out potential partners; and why "Cat Person," the story, stirred so much contentious debate — Susanna calls it a "weird Rorschach test for people's own [stuff]." Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Send us your stories about help: On the next season of Love Letters, we’ll be featuring stories about the important role help and guidance from others plays in our relationship choices and love lives, from therapy and professional interventions to advice and assistance from friends, family members, and confidantes. If you have a story about a time someone helped you in your romantic life — or maybe a story about how you gave assistance to someone else — we’d love to hear from you. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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Sidebar: Closing the Books on Money, with Shirley Leung: Shirley Leung, a business columnist who hosts Say More — a new podcast from Boston Globe Opinion — sits down with Meredith for a few final reflections on love and money, the theme of Season 8 of Love Letters. Also, listeners weigh in with their takes on the season. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. Find Say More wherever you listen to podcasts, or at globe.com/saymore. by Love Letters
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Meredith Does Mindfulness: Meredith makes a guest appearance on the podcast Meditative Story, a show that tells human stories but with meditation prompts. Vampires, naming squirrels, the death of her mother — it all comes out. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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S8E8: Two's Company: Erica Spates and Sam Littenberg-Weisberg have been professional television writing partners for 13 years. Together, they’ve co-written dozens of TV episodes, pitched and run their own Netflix series, and even won a couple Emmys. They are also married, which means they understand both the emotional highs of working with your partner and the financial lows – like the ongoing Hollywood writers' strike that's put both of their careers on ice. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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A Visit with Dear Prudence: Meredith talks to Jenée Desmond-Harris, Slate’s Dear Prudence advice columnist and podcast host, about weddings, commitment, and whether it’s kosher to grow an ugly mustache right before you get married. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
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S8E7: You Had Me at Prenup: It’s easy to understand why prenuptial agreements get a bad rap. We think of that rich guy, selfishly protecting his assets just in case wife No. 3 doesn’t work out. But it turns out that’s a pretty narrow view. There are plenty of people whose marriages have been made stronger by prenups. For Anne and Nick, it wasn’t a hedge against their marriage falling apart. It was an important gesture of trust. Email us at loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
28 min listen
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Sidebar: Is Gen Z moving in too fast?: Meredith is joined by two of her favorite Boston Globe colleagues, business reporters Diti Kohli and Dana Gerber, to chat about two things that have long bothered her: the way lease cycles influence relationships, and the financial gap between coupled people and single people. Plus, they discuss a pair of letters, including one from a single person who is worried their married friends are growing distant. Email your dating and relationship questions to loveletters@boston.com. by Love Letters
28 min listen

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S6E3: So Long, Splitsville

S6E3: So Long, Splitsville

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