This podcast contains references to child sexual abuse.

Juliana Buhring was born into a religious cult that she says brought her up with a warped idea of love. She was separated from her mum at the age of three and ended up living in communes in more than 20 different countries. When she left the group at the age of 23, she went on to discover healthier, less exploitative ways to love. But when a crocodile took the life of the man she had fallen in love with, Juliana hatched a plan to deal with the grief and embarked on a journey that would get her into the record books. Her book about her experience is called This Road I Ride.

If you've been affected by any of the issues in the programme, you can find information about where to get help and support at Befrienders Worldwide or through the BBC Action Line.

Get in touch: outlook@bbc.com

Presenter: Jo Fidgen
Producer: Edgar Maddicott

(Photo: Juliana Buhring. Credit: Courtesy of Juliana Buhring)