Merry Christmas, you filthy animals! To help us usher in a decidedly bizarre yuletide this year, we’re celebrating a fascinating double feature: a bizarre, shambolic Cassavetes family affair and one of the great entries in the Dipshit Film Canon, respectively. What’s more, we’ve got a very special guest to guide us through: Actor and Blank Check podcaster extraordinaire Griffin Newman!

First is She’s So Lovely, a lost John Cassavetes script turned into a schmaltzy, all-too-conventional romantic drama courtesy of son Nick “The Notebook” Cassavetes. Starring Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn as a self-destructive barfly couple torn apart by alcoholism, sexual assault, and madness, which throws in a ten-year time skip and a reformed, remarried Wright a mentally-recovering Penn has to get back. Sure, it’s got Daddy Cass’ knack for complicated characters and verbose dialogue, but not even Travolta as Wright’s post-cleanup husband in the film’s second half can clean up the mess.

But to soothe the pain, we get to bask in the flowing locks and sweaty wife-beater of Army Ranger-turned-heroic-prisoner in Simon West’s incredibly mercenary Con Air. It’s the second entry in Cage’s ‘90s action movie trilogy (after The Rock last episode), and it’s as energizing as it is primal and retrograde. You don’t need us to tell you how good this movie is; just put the bunny back in the box and come listen to us gush over it for 45 minutes.

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