ROUND 1: Maybe he’s born with, (me & Cons:) Maybe it’s MattisMarine. Many folks were a bit surprised this week to see General Mattis modeling a jacket in ads for a clothing company… Do you think they’ll ask us next? (weird silence)

ROUND 2: Army base Ansbach has a colorful, winged fairy flitting around making sure soldiers are staying socially distant and we’re sure they are absolutely loving that and it doesn’t kill their souls a little bit in any way.

ROUND 3: Career Day Interview - Supply Marine Reservist Ali Van Zant

ROUND 4: Iran’s being a total dick on the high seas & Russia’s being an enormous asshole in the skies. Is the U.S. about to kick dick and blast ass? Or is this business as usual. (dare you to not smile saying blast ass)

ROUND 5: You might feel a little pissed off after we tell you about a nightmarish piss test on Fort Rucker. Maybe even moreso once we share your own military drug test horror stories to close out the episode.