In 1830 Joseph Palmer created an odd controversy in Fitchburg, Massachusetts: He wore a beard when beards were out of fashion. For this social sin he was shunned, attacked, and ultimately jailed. In this week's episode of the Futility Closet podcast we'll tell the story of a bizarre battle against irrational prejudice. We'll also see whether a computer can understand knitting and puzzle over an unrewarded long jump. Intro: Prospector William Schmidt dug through California's Copper Mountain. The bees of Bradfield, South Yorkshire, are customarily informed of funerals. Sources for our feature on Joseph Palmer: Stewart Holbrook, "The Beard of Joseph Palmer," American Scholar 13:4 (Autumn 1944), 451-458. Paul Della Valle, Massachusetts Troublemakers: Rebels, Reformers, and Radicals From the Bay State, 2009. John Matteson, Eden's Outcasts: The Story of Louisa May Alcott and Her Father, 2010. Richard Corson, Fashions in Hair: The First Five Thousand Years, 2001. Stewart H. Holbrook, Lost Men of American History, 1947. Zechariah Chafee, Freedom of Speech, 1920. Clara Endicott Sears and Louisa May Alcott, Bronson Alcott's Fruitlands, 1915. George Willis Cooke, Ralph Waldo Emerson: His Life, Writings, and Philosophy, 1881. Octavius Brooks Frothingham, Theodore Parker: A Biography, 1874. Louisa May Alcott, Transcendental Wild Oats, 1873. Joseph J. Thorndike Jr., "Fruitlands," American Heritage 37:2 (February/March 1986). David Demaree, "Growing the Natural Man: The Hirsute Face in the Antebellum North," American Nineteenth Century History 18:2 (June 2017), 159–176. Richard E. Meyer, "'Pardon Me for Not Standing': Modern American Graveyard Humor," in Peter Narváez, ed., Of Corpse: Death and Humor in Folkore and Popular Culture, 2003. J. Joseph Edgette, "The Epitaph and Personality Revelation," in Richard E. Meyer, ed., Cemeteries and Gravemarkers: Voices of American Culture, 1989. Herbert Moller, "The Accelerated Development of Youth: Beard Growth as a Biological Marker," Comparative Studies in Society and History 29:4 (October 1987), 748-762. Carl Watner, "Those 'Impossible Citizens': Civil Resistants in 19th Century New England," Journal of Libertarian Studies 3:2 (1980), 170-193. Ari Hoogenboom, "What Really Caused the Civil War?", Wisconsin Magazine of History 44:1 (Autumn 1960), 3-5. Richard Gehman, "Beards Stage a Comeback," Saturday Evening Post 231:20 (Nov. 15, 1958), 40-108. Stewart H. Holbrook, "Lost Men of American History," Life 22:2 (Jan. 13, 1947), 81-92. George Hodges, "The Liberty of Difference," Atlantic Monthly 117:6 (June 1916), 784-793. James Anderson, "'Fruitlands,' Historic Alcott Home Restored," Table Talk 30:12 (December 1915), 664-670. Marion Sothern, "'Fruitlands': The New England Homestead of the Alcotts," Book News Monthly 33:2 (October 1914), 65-68. Rick Gamble, "Speaking From the Grave Through Monuments," [Brantford, Ont.] Expositor, Feb. 23, 2019, D.2. James Sullivan, "Beard Brains: A Historian Uncovers the Roots of Men's Facial Hair," Boston Globe, Jan. 1, 2016, G.8. Kimberly Winston, "When Is Facial Hair a Sign of Faith?", Washington Post, Oct. 11, 2014, B.2. Christopher Klein, "Pulling for the Beards," Boston Globe, Nov. 2, 2013, V.30. "Shared History: Whisker Rebellion Whets Writer's Curiosity," [Worcester, Mass.] Telegram & Gazette, Jan. 27, 2009, E.1. William Loeffler, "Facial Hair Has Said a Lot About a Man," McClatchy-Tribune Business News, Oct. 26, 2008. Paul Galloway, "A Shave With History: Tracking Civilization Through Facial Hair," Chicago Tribune, July 28, 1999, 1. Billy Porterfield, "Bearded Abolitionist Set Fad on Both Sides of Mason-Dixon," Austin American Statesman, Jan. 19, 1990, B1. "Very Set in His Ways," Bridgeport [Conn.] Evening Farmer, Oct. 26, 1916, 9. "Man's Beard Cause of Jeers," [Mountain Home, Idaho] Republican, Jan. 9, 1906. "'Persecuted for Wearing the Beard': The Hirsute Life and Death of Joseph Palmer," Slate, April 16, 2015. "Joseph Palmer, Fashion Criminal, Persecuted