It's Ivanka's dad's inauguration day. We discuss the latest Trump family grift, this time from Tiffany Trump and mom Marla Maples, shady inaugural balls, and the relatively celebrity-free festivities. In heavier news, abortion restrictions in Texas have led to the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world, and more anti-choice policies could be coming soon. In celebrityland, Kim is back on social media, Amina can't be emotionally implicated by Kanye right now, but Selena Gomez and the Weeknd's dumpster-side makeout was paparazzi gold. Plus, a fond farewell to the American Apparel pieces that shepherded us through our early 20s.