A group of researchers studying the effects of alcohol on speech decided to get some birds drunk.  They divided a group of zebra finches - birds that learn and produce sounds similar to humans - into two groups.  One sipped pure juice and the other a mixture of ethanol and juice.  The results may shock you.  Or not.  Jeff and Anthony wonder how a group of researchers can spend grant money intoxicating birds, and why the fact that they slur their tweets is news to anyone.