How to Become a Millionaire Day Trader (Start with 2 Million): Bulls,Bears & Buffoons, #1

By Sankar Srinivasan

Are you ready to risk it all in the most glorious way possible?
Step into the high-stakes world of day trading where YOLO is a strategy, Reddit is a research tool, and 100x leverage is just Monday morning.

In How to Become a Millionaire Day Trader (Start with 2 Million), you'll laugh, cringe, and maybe cry as you explore the satirical journey of retail traders gone wild. This parody guide delivers hilariously bad advice on technical analysis, diamond hands, and emotional breakdowns — all wrapped in sarcasm sharp enough to slash a stop-loss order.

Learn how to:

• Ignore all risk management rules (they're just suggestions)
• Join pump-and-dump Discords full of "alpha"
• Convince your parents that your Robinhood account is your 401(k)
• Master candlestick patterns that look like chicken nuggets
• Become emotionally attached to losing trades — it builds character

Perfect for frustrated traders, finance bros, and wannabe wolves of Wall Street, this book is a brutally honest joke — because sometimes the only thing you can do after a -78% drawdown is laugh.

? Warning: May cause excessive giggling, self-reflection, and sudden urges to delete your trading app.

The author, Sankar Srinivasan is a certified market professional with over 20 years of experience in the stock market, futures, options, forex, and crypto. But don't let the credentials fool you—he's seen it all, laughed at most of it, and lived to tell the tale (with his portfolio mostly intact). Known for turning complex trading concepts into funny, easy-to-digest truths, Sankar writes with a sharp wit and a deep respect for retail traders who've YOLO'd their way through financial chaos. When he's not chart-watching or meme-spotting, he's probably writing his next sarcastic survival guide for confused traders everywhere.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sankar Srinivasan
• Release date: Jul 7, 2025
• ISBN: 9798231571109

Sankar Srinivasan

Sankar Srinivasan is having more than 20 years experience in Stocks, Futures, Options, Commodity, Forex and Crypto trading.  Moreover, He is a Certified Market Professional.of National Stock Exchange of India.

Book preview

​How to Become a Millionaire Day Trader (Start with 2 Million)

Bulls, Bears & Buffoons Book Series - 1

​Introduction

Welcome to the Trading Circus: Please Leave Your Logic at the Door

So, you want to become a millionaire day trader? Excellent. You’ve come to the right place — the comedy club of financial disasters.

But first, let’s set the record straight. This is not a book filled with complicated formulas, boring charts, or serious advice. No, no, no. That’s for smart people. This book is for normal humans like us — who enter a trade because a guy on Reddit said, To the moon! and we believed it.

Let’s be honest. If you’re reading this, there are only two possible reasons:

1.  You want to get rich quick.

2.  You already tried to get rich quick... and now you're broke, sad, and trying to laugh about it.

Either way, welcome to the wild world of day trading — a magical land where hopes fly high in the morning, and portfolios burn by lunch.

---

What Is Day Trading, Really?

Day trading is when a person buys and sells stocks (or crypto, or forex, or tulips — doesn’t matter) within the same day. You might have seen movies where traders wear expensive suits and tell things like SELL! SELL! on the phone.

That’s not you.

You’ll be day trading in your pajamas, on your phone, while sitting on the toilet, pretending to work from home.

And that’s okay. Some of the worst trades in history were made by people in bathrobes. You’re in good company.

---

The Goal: Become a Millionaire (But Start With 2 Million)

Here’s the deal. Becoming a millionaire day trader is easy.

All you have to do is start with two million dollars, lose half of it while learning and boom — you’re a millionaire!

This book is a step-by-step guide to losing money confidently, stylishly, and with just enough sarcasm to keep you from crying. I will teach you how to:

●  Trust random YouTubers with your entire savings

●  Use 100x leverage because why not?

●  Think technical indicators are magic spells

●  And most importantly — blame everything but yourself

---

Meet the Tools of the Trade (a.k.a. Your Future Enemies)

You’ll fall in love with these tools at first. But soon, they’ll break your heart.

1. Candlestick Charts – These are little red and green bars that you will stare at for hours, hoping they tell you the future. Spoiler alert: they won’t.

2. Indicators – RSI, MACD, Bollinger Bands... sounds like Hogwarts spells, right? These tools are supposed to help you. But mostly, they’ll confuse you until you say, Ah screw it, I’ll just buy it.

3. Social Media Gurus – These guys live in Dubai or Mumbai or Rawalpindi or London or Kinshasa, posing in front of rented Lamborghinis, and promise you riches — as long as you click their affiliate link.

Trust them. What could possibly go wrong?

---

Your Emotions: The Real Boss

Let me tell you a secret: your brain is not in control when you trade.

Your real bosses are:

●  Greed – This stock is going to the moon! I’ll retire tomorrow!

●  Fear – Oh no, it dropped 0.5%! Sell everything!

●  Regret – Why didn’t I sell when I was up 4 dollars?

●  Revenge – I’ll get my money back. I swear. One more trade.

Trading is 20% charts, 30% luck, and 100% emotions. (Yes, that’s more than 100%, but math doesn’t matter when you’re down bad.)

---

Red Flags You Will Ignore

Here are some warnings you will see — and ignore:

●  Don’t trade with money you can’t afford to lose.

You’ll trade your rent.

●  Practice with a demo account first.

Demo accounts are for cowards. YOLO.

●  Risk only 1% per trade.

You’ll risk 50% because you’re built different. Spoiler: you’re not.

---

The First Win – The Worst Thing That Can Happen

Your first trade might actually win.

This is terrible.

Why? Because now you think you’re a genius.

You’ll tell your friends:

I’m basically a market wizard.