Go Postal: The End of an Era: The Memoirs of a Fly on the Wall

By Michael K. Murphy

This book is partly truth, partly satire, part bloviating, part blathering, and part opinion. You will be surprised, if you are able to read this book without thinking to yourself, “What the Hell is this crap!” Sadly, much of which you think such a thing is probably the truth. Working at the Post Office for over 28 years has truly made my head turn, more than once or twice! In some cases it is rather disgusting. It is quite crazy, when I started at the USPS back in 1993, my seniority was 776 as a Part Time Flex (PTF) clerk, by the beginning of this writing I was about 70 as a Full Time Regular (FTR) Clerk. Back when I began there were about 1000-1100 Clerks and approximately 600 Mail Handlers; now, as of this writing there are about 600 Clerks and 200-300 Mail Handlers. Automation has a number of affects on manning, just look at your local grocery store where they are fitting in some of those kiosks to self serve and self bag your goods...and they don't even give you a discount for doing their job for them AND they want you to produce a receipt, as well!
We each choose our path in life. Some of us go to school then on to a career using the skills we have obtained at college. Others tend to go into some kind of apprenticeship and move onward and upward from there. Then there are people like me. I graduated High School, which was a miracle for me (as I was a horrible student) and I went into the US Air Force. After some disillusionment in the military (approximately 12 years) I left the military. Approximately one year after my exit from the military I was fortunate to land a position at the US Postal Service.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Nov 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9781326824945

Book preview

Preface:

This book is partly truth, partly satire, part bloviating, part blathering, and part opinion. You will be surprised, if you are able to read this book without thinking to yourself, What the Hell is this crap! Sadly, much of which you think such a thing is probably the truth. Working at the Post Office for over 28 years has truly made my head turn, more than once or twice! In some cases it is rather disgusting. It is quite crazy, when I started at the USPS back in 1993, my seniority was 776 as a Part Time Flex (PTF) clerk, by the beginning of this writing I was about 70 as a Full Time Regular (FTR) Clerk. Back when I began there were about 1000-1100 Clerks and approximately 600 Mail Handlers; now, as of this writing there are about 600 Clerks and 200-300 Mail Handlers. Automation has a number of affects on manning, just look at your local grocery store where they are fitting in some of those kiosks to self serve and self bag your goods...and they don't even give you a discount for doing their job for them AND they want you to produce a receipt, as well!

We each choose our path in life. Some of us go to school then on to a career using the skills we have obtained at college. Others tend to go into some kind of apprenticeship and move onward and upward from there. Then there are people like me. I graduated High School, which was a miracle for me (as I was a horrible student) and I went into the US Air Force. After some disillusionment in the military (approximately 12 years) I left the military. Approximately one year after my exit from the military I was fortunate to land a position at the US Postal Service.

So, let's let the fun and games begin...

Introduction:

So, who ever in their lives ever...I mean EVER decided to be a Postal worker? Who ever said, When I grow up I want to work at the Post Office? Yeah, that's what I thought...no one ever said such a thing. Please, don't get me wrong, I cherished many of the people I worked with. I have obtained many friends, some of which will be lifelong friends. The Postal Service has treated me well and aided me to pay my debts, take vacations and to do a great many of things I would never have otherwise been able to do.

My hope, perhaps even my dream, was to get out of the Air Force and on with a large corporation in the electronics field. Unfortunately, for me, Murphy's Law always seems to turn the tides in another direction...at least I can blame it on family issues! I exited the Air Force in 1992 in the midst of cutbacks, draw-downs, and buyouts. Not a good time for job hunters and seekers, at all! After 12+ years in the Air Force, working on highly technical equipment, being in-charge of a $225 Million aircraft system, on flying status, and in charge of  a work-center..and unable to find a job for the abilities and degrees that I possessed. That is not an uncommon thing for just about anyone in similar situations coming out of the military, any more.

Seven months after my exit from the military my father-in-law passed away from cancer and had an offer to work at company near-by. After his burial, I went to work, but continued to work. I went to work shortly thereafter in the wood department of the leading manufacturer of store fixtures. I am not much of  a wood worker, but it was interesting and it did pay some of the bills. I then got a second job as a wash-bay attendant at a local trucking firm. It was good and it was fun for a time. But anyone in the world that has ever had two or three jobs held down, will tell you that it sucks! No time, no sleep, and no life. And within 6 months I was called in for an interview (when they had them) at the U.S. Postal Service. Well, the wash-bay attendant job was then dispensed with, but I kept the wood working job for a time. Once I was officially on at the Postal Service, I got rid of the wood working job.

My official beginning was in December, 1993. As I got deeper into my genealogical history, I came to find out that one of my great grand uncle, Rudolph Wilfred Buteau, was also a Postal Worker in the early days. Probably in the 1920's onward. I never met him, that I am aware. I may have had a cousin that worked for the Postal Service back in the 1940s, as well...but I won't bore you with the details.

We each have a role to play in this world and sometimes God places us on a rather strange path to fulfill His will. We may never truly understand any of it, but as we look back on our lives we will have that ah-HAH! moment, but will never recognize it along the path but only towards the end of the path. I can honestly say that I can see God's hand in my life along the way...hind-sight being 20/20.

Moving along, I would never have thought about this at the beginning of my Postal career until after perhaps 5 year mark. It was at that point I kept telling myself, and those around me, to write down every damn thing. You could make millions of dollars...perhaps that is a bit much, but you can sell some incredibly funny bathroom humor books! Just all of the stupid things that happen around the Post Office, the people that work there, the horrible decisions and continual list of bad choices made over the course of time.

Most of the more intelligent new kids coming into the services of the USPS, I will generally suggest that they go back to college, go into the Psychology or Psycho-Analytical fields and as they approach their Masters and Doctoral degree programs just start writing theses on the various postal workers around them. There are easily 600 clerks, 300-400 mail handlers, 100 +/- maintenance personnel, and up to 200 supervisory & managerial personnel. Each of which has a minimum of 3-5 major and up to 10 minor psychological tics. At $1000 per thesis ($2000 with inflation hitting us now) your are looking at walking out with $6.5 MIL to $39 MIL, just for writing up the psychology on Postal Workers in general. Also, if you would look more futuristically and long-term, you could develop a textbook on abnormal psychology for a psych course in a college or university.

Just think about that for a moment!

CHAPTER 1: In the beginning...

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."

~Genesis 1:1 KJV

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." (Genesis 1:1 KJV) This tells us that time, space, and matter were all created at the same time by a pre-existant Creator of all things. Genesis 1:1 through Genesis 2:3 speak of the 6 days of creation and the Day of rest.

All of this occurred approximately 6000 years ago. Man was created on the 6th day and, of course, as the story goes things went downhill from there. According to the rock group KISS, God created Rock & Roll on the 8th day; however, according to the Biblical timelines that are available to me...that rock did not roll until sometime around 4033 years after the beginning of all creation. They say the truth is in the details, so I will leave it at that.

Since good communications were clearly essential for governing the extensive empires of the ancient world, it is not surprising that among the earliest historical references to postal systems were those concerning Egypt about 2000 BC and China under the Chou dynasty 1,000 years later. It was probably in China that a posthouse relay system was first developed and was brought to a high state of development under the Mongol emperors. The great Persian Empire of Cyrus in the 6th century BC also employed relays of mounted messengers, served by posthouses. The system was favourably described by the Greek historians Herodotus and Xenophon. The admiration of the Greeks was natural since their political divisions inhibited the growth of a coherent postal system, although each city-state possessed its corps of messengers.

The development of Rome from a small city-state into a vast empire embracing most of the known world brought with it the necessity for reliable and speedy communications with the governors of distant provinces. This need was met by the cursus publicus, the most highly developed postal system of the ancient world. The relay stages of the cursus publicus, established at convenient intervals along the great roads of the empire, formed an integral part of its complex military and administrative system. The speed with which messengers were able to travel during the peak of the administration was not to be rivaled in Europe until the 19th century: it has been claimed that more than 170 miles (270 kilometres) could be covered in a day and a night. The maintenance of the cursus publicus required a high degree of organization; an inspectorial system existed to control its operation and prevent abuse for private ends.

~Encyclopedia Britanica, www.britanica.com

Sometime later, On July 26, 1775, the U.S. postal system is established by the Second Continental Congress, with Benjamin Franklin as its first postmaster general. Franklin (1706-1790) put in place the foundation for many aspects of today’s mail system. As the country grew, so did the necessity for the Postal System. The Articles of Confederation were adopted by the Continental Congress on November 15, 1777. This document served as the United States' first constitution. It was in force from March 1, 1781, until 1789 when the present-day Constitution went into effect. he Articles of Confederation, made it clear that the government "shall also have the sole and exclusive right and power of … establishing or regulating post offices from one State to another, throughout all the United States, and exacting such postage on the papers passing through the same as may be requisite to defray the expenses of the said office."

After the governing officials in this haphazardly drawn document did the Convention of States become a thing. It was intended to strengthen the Articles of Confederation, but to everyone's surprise the Constitution of the United States was eventually unveiled. Within the Constitution, in 1789,  Article I, Section 8, Clause 7 of the United States Constitution, known as the Postal Clause or the Postal Power, empowers Congress "To establish Post Offices and post Roads." The Post Office has the constitutional authority to designate mail routes. The Post Office is also empowered to construct or designate post offices with the implied authority to carry, deliver, and regulate the mail of the United States as a whole.

CHAPTER 2: POSTAL STORIES

"How in God's name

did you manage your

way out of your mother's

womb??"

~M.K. Murphy

The Low Cost Lawyer

I was belovedly known as the Low Cost Lawyer. Not because I am a lawyer and am hirable at a low cost...No! None of that. I worked on the LCTS, also known as the Low Cost Tray-transport System and I knew just enough law to get myself and those around me into a lot of trouble. I found studying the law and the constitution, as well as, American history to be fun. My wife thinks I'm a bit of a bore, but that is okay. I had some fun with it all. I would research a matter to a certain extreme. Even while I was just working, much of the time I was actually pondering the numerous possibilities that would allow an amicable, or beneficial, outcome for my proverbial "client." Sometimes it would work, other times I would catch a lot of flack from the union steward(s). It really just depended upon the situation at hand. But I definitely had fun with it all!

The Great Backstabbing of '05

      This is an interesting story in and of itself. In 2005, a great many changes were to occur in the facility, as we had received a new Facility Manager the previous year. Some of the changes I could agree with, from a business perspective; other changes didn't make any sense as we (the facility) would be following in the footsteps of a great number of other facilities that were on the bottom of the list of efficiency. Although it would save the Facility Manger a great deal of money with respect to overtime and sick-time use age.  All of those hours would be transferred to the stations. So the Facility Manger was saving himself at the cost of the stations. Any-hooo...

So, I was pre-scheduled for overtime on my day off. The person that was my supervisor was, more or less, a temporary replacement for a supervisor who was sitting in jail. Every other week I would check with him to see if it was okay with him that I come in two hours early so I could leave two hours early. My schedule was Saturday night 11 pm through Thursday morning 7:30 am. I would work my Thursday night and I would come in at 9 pm and leave Friday morning at 5:30 am.

So, this one night I was pre-scheduled to come in I did not check with the supervisor, but it was an every week thing. That particular night I was scheduled to work my secondary job working the schemes, or Primary A & Primary B. An overall scheme of the entire city of Omaha and the outlying associated suburbs. When I saw my schedule I had a wild hair up my butt, as I did not get the opportunity to do this job often, so I planned on making the supervisors forcing me to do other jobs and I had no plan to make it easy for them. As soon as I sat down, I heard my name paged over the intercom system. I called the number.

ME: This is murf.

Supv D: So, you gonna come down and help us on the belt?

ME: D, why would I just arbitrarily decide to do someone else's job?

Supv D: I don't know...so...are you gonna come down?

ME: Again, D, why would I arbitrarily decide to do someone else's job?

Supv D: Ahhhh... phone hangs up.

Then I went back to my work area, hunted for the mail that was for my area and as soon as I sat       down, Supervisor P stops by and corners me.

Supv P: Are you Murphy?

ME: Yeah, that is the name I received at birth, what can I do for you?

Supv P: Aren't you suppose to be down on the ground floor?

ME: P, why would I arbitrarily decide to do someone else's job? No, I am not suppose to be on the ground floor, my schedule says I am suppose to be here.

Supv P: I don't think anyone really know what's going on.

ME: Ya THINK??

And so I make my way to the supervisor's office on the first floor, where my work area was.

ME: What can I do for you?

Supv T: Would you mind helping out on the 180 Belt so we can get this mail out before the end of the shift?

ME: Sure!

Now, was that really that difficult?? If you want something, ask for it! Stop this namby-pamby bullshiting around the bush and as specifically for what you want. Don't put forth as though it is my idea, because it is not. It is simply there to benefit you and what you want from me. That was one of the big problems of supervision – they asked in a way that it was your idea to do the work that they wanted you to do in the first place.

And so we got that mail done by 11 pm. I began to walk off the belt area to