Empty Mirrors: Empty Mirrors, #1

By Vivien Jusztin

Daniel Morris struggles with severe addictions to numb the raging demons inside him. He has completely lost control over his life and can no longer discern what is real. But one thing is certain: he doesn't even know what he wants or which direction to go.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vivien Jusztin
• Release date: Nov 20, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227667434

Vivien Jusztin

Vivien tells stories from the shadows, where the line between reality and imagination blurs. In her writing, silence holds secrets, and words unveil hidden truths.

Book preview

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

EMPTY MIRRORS

First edition. November 20, 2024.

Copyright © 2024 Vivien Jusztin.

ISBN: 979-8227667434

Written by Vivien Jusztin.

Empty Mirrors

Vivien Jusztin

A person doesn’t fight to conquer the world, but to conquer themselves. Because the greatest battle isn’t fought in the outside world, but in front of the mirror, when we face our own reflection. And the mirror does not lie. It tells us what we are too afraid to admit. The mirror reveals the pain, the fear, and the guilt, but also who we could become, if we were brave enough to let go of everything.

1

The first rays of dawn softly greeted the living room. These were rare beams of light piercing through the long, gray fall, slowly creeping into every corner of the room. The light finally reached Daniel, lying on the couch, motionless like a frozen shadow in the morning brightness.

Daniel Morris slowly got up. His head ached from the amount of alcohol he’d consumed the previous evening. He looked around. Empty bottles lay scattered on the floor and on the table. He pushed the bottles aside, making his way to the coffee maker. A strong coffee, a painkiller, and he’d come back to life. He needed it, as he had to be at work by nine.

He drank his coffee with a bit of sugar and milk, savoring it alongside a cigarette. After extinguishing the butt in the ashtray, he hurried to the bathroom. A refreshing shower followed, and when he wiped the steam from the mirror, he looked into it, only to find his face distorted. He was used to his reflection appearing blurred at times, but this was different. He saw a completely different person in the mirror. It wasn’t him. He tried washing his face, hoping it would reveal his own image, but nothing changed. He almost punched the mirror but held back, knowing it wouldn’t solve anything.

By a quarter to nine, he felt fine. The headache was gone; he felt refreshed. All the pain from the previous night had vanished into thin air. He headed off to work, into a life he’d once sworn he’d never lead. His parents had always told him: graduate, get a well-paying nine-to-five job, buy a house, and start a family. Even thinking about it gave him a headache, and now, realizing he was already in the early stages of this ‘perfect’ life filled him with an overwhelming pressure. That dreaded hamster wheel he didn’t know how to escape. Maybe that’s why he drank and used drugs—to escape into another reality.

As soon as he entered the bank, Evelyn Achker practically pulled him along by the arm.

‘Gretchen said she won’t be coming in today, so you’re covering subsidies,’ she said.

Daniel barely listened to Evelyn’s words. He knew his tasks in each department, where everything was. But the weight of the hamster wheel pressed down on him more heavily with every step he took inside the bank building. Still, he put on a smile, ready to serve the clients with utmost dedication.

His helpfulness was unmatched within the bank, perhaps explaining his popularity there. The first customers were a couple seeking a housing subsidy, a few thousand euros to modernize their home. They weren’t alone; many people used this subsidy, often topping it up with a loan to complete everything at once. The subsidy itself was pocket change compared to the overall cost, and anyone who signed up had to renovate their entire home, which cost tens of thousands of euros. The fine print included a long list of required improvements.

Since the government introduced this program, there wasn’t a day when at least ten families weren’t waiting. They were the exact opposite of Daniel. And although he smiled at them, he envied them deep down. Daniel had nothing but money and only one friend, Alex. Most of these families weren’t financially well-off, but they had something Daniel longed for—a family. He tried to fill this emptiness with various hallucinogens, hoping to silence the void.

A few minutes after five, he was outside the bank, smoking a cigarette with Evelyn. He and Evelyn got along well; they often met up for a few hours of pleasure, but that was all. Neither of them looked for anything more.

Daniel entered his quiet apartment, tossed his shirt and pants aside, turned on the TV for background noise, and opened the fridge, grabbing a beer before sinking onto the couch. The meaningless chatter from the TV slowly faded as he was drawn into the depths of his mind. There, in his imagination, he was alone, surrounded by darkness. He saw a tiny white spot far off. He started running toward it, hoping it would add color to his gray days, but no matter how he tried, the spot moved further away. Exhausted, he collapsed to the ground, lifting his head as he gasped for breath. Suddenly, laughter echoed from all directions. He covered his ears, trying to block out the mocking sound.

Someone knocked on the door, jolting Daniel back to reality. The pressure in his chest grew, and he still heard the laughter faintly in his mind as he opened the door.

‘You look like crap!’ said Alex, standing at the threshold. ‘But don’t worry! I’ve got something that’ll set you right.’

Alex practically jumped onto the couch, tossing a small bag onto the table.

‘This is pure Colombian, man. Premium stuff, the best you’ll find on the market right now. They say it feels like you’re melting. Total relaxation.’ Alex grinned.

From his pocket, Alex pulled out another bag with some tobacco and a roller. He looked at Daniel and rolled two cigarettes, though he usually only made one. They lit the cigarettes, and Alex immediately reclined on the couch. Daniel felt the effects; his whole body relaxed as he inhaled.

‘Oh, man. Colombians know what they’re doing,’ Alex said, stretching out fully, clearly relaxed.

Smoke danced in the light streaming through the window. Once they finished, Alex looked at Daniel.

‘So? What do you think?’ he asked.

‘It’s great!’ Daniel replied with a genuine smile—the kind only Alex ever saw. Alex was like a brother to him, the one person he truly trusted.

Daniel looked at Alex with a hint of envy. Alex had everything Daniel longed for. Alex and Tina had been married for three years, and their first child, Dorian, was born two years ago. Tina was now three months pregnant again. Alex and Tina adored each other. Tina had worked at a hair salon, but when Alex started his business, she joined him. Alex owned a trucking company, covering routes all over Europe. In comparison, Daniel was alone. The only woman in his life was Evelyn, but it was purely physical and didn’t touch his soul.

‘What’s on your mind?’ Alex asked

‘Nothing, I just zoned out,’ Daniel laughed.

‘Come on, spill it!’

‘What’s it like to be a parent?’

‘Well… it’s hard,’ Alex started. ‘I mean, it’s incredible, of course. But it’s complicated. He’s one of the most wonderful things in my life, and I’d shout it from the rooftops, but sometimes I just want to shield him from all the things I can’t control…’ He swallowed. ‘You know, I do everything to raise him in a happy family. Tina and I show him love every day, and that’s so important. Sorry, I’m rambling!’ Alex chuckled.

‘No, I understand,’ Daniel said.

‘It’s also a huge responsibility. I have to be both the provider and a father he can look up to. It’s so stressful. When Dorian was born, I was expanding into Italy, working until past midnight, leaving for work before dawn. Tina finally told me, ‘If you keep going like this, your son won’t recognize you.’ So, I wrapped things up as fast as I could. I’d come home and see her asleep with our son. The house would be neat, and my favorite food would be in the fridge. I realized she was under as much stress as I was, waking up to every little sound Dorian made, caring for him all day, keeping the house in order, cooking for us…’

2

Daniel awoke once again on the couch. He hurried to the bathroom. His reflection belonged to a stranger. It wasn’t him; it couldn’t be him. Day by day, his face became more distorted. His eyes were bloodshot, and his wrinkles had multiplied. He was a completely different person.

In his morning coffee—being Saturday—he poured in some rum. Just two centiliters to get through the lazy Saturday. He drank it immediately and then rushed to the bathroom. His reflection hadn’t changed at