Linda: Down the Slope

By Vivien Jusztin

My name is Linda Carlson, and I'm a severe drug and alcohol addict, a master at sliding down the slope. But primarily, an addict of love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vivien Jusztin
• Release date: Oct 2, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227718907

Vivien Jusztin

Vivien tells stories from the shadows, where the line between reality and imagination blurs. In her writing, silence holds secrets, and words unveil hidden truths.

Book preview

Chapter 1

I could talk at length about everything I've experienced in my thirty years. But I don't even remember some of it.

My name is Linda Carlson, and I'm a severe drug and alcohol addict, a master at sliding down the slope.

I was around sixteen when I first smoked a marijuana joint at a party. I only took a few puffs. My best friend at the time, Alice Dawn, offered it to me. She had been using it for at least two years, introduced to it by her older boyfriend. But now she can hardly remember his name. The joint itself was something special. Maybe it was because I wanted to fit in, or perhaps it was the allure of something new. But afterward, I felt strange. I couldn’t think clearly, and I had an uncontrollable urge to smile for no reason. I wanted to jump around and dance. That’s where it all began. Suddenly, I had more ‘friends’ than ever. It seemed that smoking weed was cool back then. Many of our schoolmates used it, especially the seniors. Thanks to the joint, I became cool too—everyone in my class envied me because I was hanging out with the seniors. Alice and I were always the topic of conversation when we walked down the hallway. People whispered behind our backs. Alice was used to it by then because many had spread rumors that she was a cheap slut who would sleep with anyone. Alice laughed it off. She enjoyed the attention she got, even though some people wished her dead, saying the world didn’t need sluts like her. But no one talked to her for more than two words; they didn’t know her, they just gossiped.

Alice was an important part of my life in many ways. She was my first friend. We met in kindergarten, and from then on, we were inseparable. We did so many things together. We were like fire and water—two completely opposite people who somehow made a perfect whole. It was an enviable, honest, and pure friendship—or so I thought, but of course, my eyes were opened later on. I always defended her; I didn’t want to believe what others gossiped about. After all, everyone added their own bit to the rumors. It was disgusting.

As soon as summer began, we were invited to every house party in the area. Every day, we lived in the haze of alcohol and marijuana. And we just enjoyed life. My days were blurry, yet free and happy. Looking back, I realize I just wanted to fit in. I didn’t need the cigarettes or the alcohol; I simply didn’t want to stand out. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to belong somewhere. Being alone was so... so scary. There’s no one to hold your hand, no one to listen to you. It’s just you. Just you and your thoughts.

My parents? Oh, they had no idea about any of this. They both worked a lot. By the time they came home in the evenings, I was already on my way out. I was lonely at home.

The highlight of that party-filled summer was Derek. Derek Wilson. He was four years older than me. We met at a house party. I already wanted to leave, but Alice didn’t. According to our rule, ‘We came together, we leave together,’ I couldn’t leave her there. I was waiting outside, sitting on the steps, when Derek sat down next to me. He offered me a drink. His eyes sparkled, and his smile made me feel self-conscious. He charmed me with his words. And that night, I fell hopelessly in love with him. I thought it would be the kind of teenage love that lasts for years before fading away due to growing apart. And it almost turned out that way. Alice patted my shoulder, signaling that my conversation with Derek was over. He walked us to the gate. He kissed my cheek and asked me out for pizza the next