The Trouble With Murder... On The Beach

By Andrea Nelson

In their latest escapade, Beth Evans-Silverton, amateur ghost hunter and self-appointed detective, alongside her ever-reluctant husband Jordan and the unflappable Monty Peebles, attend a sunlit wedding in picturesque Norfolk. A leisurely stroll on the beach takes a shocking turn when they stumble across a body amidst the sand dunes. With a new mystery at their feet and trouble as their constant companion, the quirky team is once again thrown into the deep end.

As personalities clash and secrets unravel, Beth doggedly pursues the clues. However, presenting the culprit to the authorities proves trickier than expected. Join Beth, Jordan, Monty, and the indomitable Auntie Mildred, who is more ready than ever to dive into action, in another uproarious adventure where the tide always turns in the most unexpected ways.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Murder Press
• Release date: May 14, 2024
• ISBN: 9781739715137

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Copyright © Andrea Nelson

Published by Murder Press

Paperback ISBN-13: 978-1-7397151-2-0

eBook ISBN-13: 978-1-7397151-3-7

Printed in the United Kingdom

All rights reserved in all media. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the author and/or publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages

This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Names, characters, businesses, organisations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The views expressed by the characters in this book are not the views of the author.

Cover design and layout by www.spiffingpublishing.com

Contents

Who’s Who

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Who’s Who

Main characters, the unlikely team who find themselves solving yet another murder:

Beth

Jordan

Monty

Mildred

Additional characters:

Flora – The daughter at Waterdale Hall, the venue of the first murder.

Frank – The groundsman at the Hall, in love with Flora.

Burt – Owner of the local pub in the village Beth and Jordan live. In love and lust with Mildred.

Belle (the bride) – Flora’s old school friend. Flora can’t believe she’s been invited. They haven’t seen each other for years.

Giles (the groom) – a very wealthy hedge fund manager, a seemingly lovely guy. He’s delighted to be marrying the love of his life; he has, after all, had years to work his way through European socialites. He met Belle during a fun run on his family estate.

Gavin Rowbottom – police officer leading the murder enquiry. Gavin is laid-back and Beth is pleased that he is. This leaves the door open for her to investigate this murder with her team. Rowbottom has a small team investigating the murder. Beth assumes this is because it’s a small village with limited access to outside help.

PC McTush – one of the constables. He is a new recruit who is as frustrated with his boss as Beth is. He finds himself spending more time with Beth and her unlikely crew. His full name is PC Dougal McTush. His Scottish accent is very strong. Monty needs a translator that comes in the form of Mildred who repeats everything Dougal says but she usually gets it wrong. This amuses Dougal and he often exaggerates his accent just for his own enjoyment.

Dermot – A local man who loves sailing. He becomes an accidental member of the team.

Celeste – A local woman and girlfriend of Dermot. She also becomes an accidental team member.

Chapter One

Thanks, Eddie.

Beth found picking weeds to be therapeutic. Anyone passing by would suggest Roundup or another leading brand that could do the job and save her back. Whilst that was true, she did feel a sense of real satisfaction when she took a step back and looked at the fruits of her labour.

Jordan was due home from Oz next week, so she needed something to occupy her time, the majority of which was taken up by Margaret Rutherford (Maggie), the Cockerpoo Jordan had bought for Beth on her last birthday to keep her company. Margaret was the name of Beth’s heroine – the best ever Miss Marple (in her opinion, of course).

Beth was picking weeds that were sprouting in earnest on the other side of her front wall. Maggie, as always, lay beside her basking in the early summer sun.

Eddie was the local postie. He was great. If ever she weren’t around to sign for something, he would post a note in their letterbox to let her know where he had put it; she never needed to drive into town to collect it. He had handed her a very delicate pink envelope and Beth thought it was an expensive-looking envelope. It was also fragranced.

Immediately, Beth down tooled. This was far more interesting.

Come on, Mags! (Beth had shortened the already shortened name for her dog).

Together, they made their way to the kitchen:

‘Miss Flora Grey requests the pleasure of your company at Tide House, Brancaster, Norfolk.

Miss Grey has rented the house for a week. You are asked to bring nothing but a suitcase full of fun.

Your invitation extends from Friday 1st July until Friday 8th July.

Kindly RSVP…’

The invitation was for Beth and Jordan and of course Maggie (whom Flora loved). What a lovely invite to receive. Jordan would be really pleased to wind down from the gruelling month he’d endured in the Australian mines. His company had been extremely fortunate to find that one of their silver mines had produced far greater ore content than they had initially thought. With the silver price currently quite low, her husband had the foresight to stockpile for their future. The price was set to soar. Jordan was hoping his pension fund would mean he could spend more time with his wife and less time in the soaring heat, which he found himself less and less able to tolerate.

Beth decided she would call Monty. He was her best friend outside of her marriage. It had been Monty who had formed part of her unlikely team when they unravelled the murder at Waterdale Hall. It had also been Monty who had said he never wanted to see her ever again following those events.

Their separation lasted one whole day.

You are through to the voicemail of Monty Peebles…

You need new material, Monty. Hey, did you get your invite to Flora’s rental?

Monty, when he didn’t want to talk to her, would go to any length to avoid conversation. He had hoped that him pretending to be his own live voice message would make Beth go away. She had fallen for this trick once; much to Monty’s delight, she had begun to leave a message until she heard him laughing. She did not make that mistake again.

That’s not the half of it, Beth. She invited Mildred too. What the hell?

Isn’t Mildred in South Africa?

Sadly, no. She came over last week to purchase her ‘next season’ items for her store. I couldn’t even keep it from her as her name was on the envelope too, so she opened it.

Are you going to go? It should be a good laugh. The weather’s going to be quite nice – I’ve googled it.

We are both going so Mildred informs me.

Beth smiled. The glue-like bond between Monty and Mildred during and shortly after the events at the Hall became unstuck quite quickly. They just rubbed each other up the wrong way but loved one another in equal measure.

Are you going? Monty was hoping for a positive response.

Of course, we will both be there. Once again, Beth was making decisions before clearance by her husband. She just knew he would love the break.

Why do you think she’s invited us? I thought she was in Bordeaux for the summer with her mother.

I’ve no idea. I’ll pop over the road and ask Agnes. I know she’s still at the Hall so I’ll maybe have a cuppa with her later today and let you know.

Shall I come over for a few days? Monty was keen to leave London and, in doing so, leave behind the fiendish she-devil he called his aunt.

That would be nice. Why don’t you come over tomorrow? We could go to the pub for dinner. I’ve to pick Jordan up next week so I can drop you at the station as I go to pick him up. Will you tell Mildred you’re coming to see me?

Hell, no! In just a week, she has managed to piss off the neighbours because she went out to start up Betsy to make sure she was in good working order. I think she was just checking I’d been doing my job when she was out of the country, which of course I hadn’t. The following day, she locked herself out of the flat then demanded I go home to let her in. I was out to lunch and when I refused, she gate-crashed lunch, which in turn pissed off my guests. She was so bloody rude! Poor Tilly had just had her lips done. In all honesty, they were pretty hideous, but no-one else dared to deliver this news. It’s not a pretty sight seeing someone cry whose lips are so bulbous. You actually cannot look away. No, Beth, she can stay home. I will not be telling her I’m coming to see you.

She hasn’t lost it, then? Still the same old Mildred. Already Beth was looking forward to their trip. Mildred was hilarious but Beth was glad she wasn’t related to her. The excuses were not hers to make. This was Monty’s duty. Poor sod.

They made plans to get together. Beth was going to pick Monty up from the station. It wasn’t worth him driving. He had, however, since their last meaningful get-together, sold his car and bought something much more environmentally friendly. He’d done this for two reasons; it was electric, much cheaper to run and he had a charging portal right outside his flat, which he had claimed as his own. He’d had it for seven months now and already its interior was as messy as its predecessor. Why he couldn’t just take out his newspapers and clippings, Lord knows. Monty considered his car to be an extension of his flat – another room, if you like. When Mildred was there he often spent time in his car, pretending to be giving it a clean but the only thing being cleansed was his mind.

Mildred was all-consuming.

When they were in Norfolk, Monty was considering digging a hole on the beach and burying her in it but quickly realised there would be little benefit in this – the part of her that would be above ground was the part he would prefer to bury – her mouth!

This would be the first stay over for Monty at Beth’s house since the events at the Hall. It had taken him a while to recover from that whole episode. He had not discussed it with any of his other friends. He wouldn’t have known where to begin, plus he never wanted to relive those events… ever. He hadn’t eaten fish since then. His stomach turned even at the thought, let alone the smell. Mildred had also remained pretty quiet about the whole thing. It was clear Monty didn’t want to talk about it either, so they had never discussed it since.

Beth had called Agnes who was delighted that Beth wanted to come over for a coffee – a good, old chin-wag. Since Flora had been in France, she had missed their chats. The hospital had been very kind to Flora and told her to take some time off to recover from the terrible things that had gone on within her family.

Both Flora and her mother felt they should get away from the Hall and decided to spend some time at their house in France. They had had a lovely time, really getting to know each other without the influences of either Flora’s father or brother. Since then, Flora and Lady Grey had spent as much time in France as work had allowed them to. Agnes and Frank had been over a few times with them. They’d all had fun. A new family nucleus.

Lord Grey and Felix had been found guilty of murder – attempted murder and perverting the course of justice. Neither Lady Grey nor Flora had attended the trial. Lady Grey had filed for divorce as soon as she was able to. Surprisingly, she felt nothing for her husband and almost nothing for her son. Both had tried to make contact with her and Felix had called Flora several times, but she had never taken his call. Lord Grey, Lady Grey had guessed, simply wanted to exercise his all too familiar control tactics to make sure he had a nice little pot to come out to.

Lord Grey was to learn that he would come out to nothing. Neither of them would. Why worry? thought Lady Grey, it would be a long time, if ever, that either of them would need access to any kind of finance. Lady Grey had disinherited her son. Lord Grey had lost his title. The shame of this was pretty much all he could think of – still, he’d have enough time to get used to the idea that he was a commoner once more. Lady Grey was a different woman since those events, and she liked ‘the new me’.

Felix was angry; beyond angry, actually. How could a mother be so cruel to her own child? As always, it had to be someone else’s fault. He had, however, managed to find a job in prison. He worked in the kitchen. It wasn’t to gain any brownie points. He needed the money to fund the habit he hadn’t managed to kick. He had been pleasantly surprised with the ease he had managed to find a supplier inside. He’d had no idea. His cellmate couldn’t believe how naïve he was.

Beth took Maggie out for a walk. Fascinated by the red kites soaring above them, Beth failed to spot Maggie belting round the field after a rabbit. Unable to retrieve her – given they were in a field of green beans just making their mark as this year’s harvest – Beth was cursing herself for not having her on a lead when she was still very unpredictable with her behaviours.

As her phone rang, she jumped out of her skin.

Bloody hell! she found herself saying out loud.

That’s what phones do. An old man smiled at her as he walked his lab that Beth noticed was right by his side.

Beth smiled back and answered her phone.

Hey, sexy! she loved it when her husband rang her.

Hey back. How’s everything? Nowadays, Jordan felt relaxed asking this question following the period in his life when his wife was neck deep in danger and he lived in fear of the answer he would be likely to receive to that question every time they spoke.

Everything will be great when Maggie stops chasing this rabbit and behaves herself. Jordan laughed knowing how unruly their dog was and how difficult it was to get her back. He’d chased her a couple of months ago and then realised she was far fitter than him and so decided he would stand still and wait for her to find him. This didn’t work either, however. She’d decided to follow a man and his wife. No dog, just two people – surely she was bright enough to realise it wasn’t him and Beth?

I think you need to take her for obedience lessons, Beth. She’s bonkers. Beth agreed. She was certainly a mad dog but totally calm in the house.

I think she goes crazy in open spaces and oh, hang on, Jords… Beth spotted the chance to catch her dog that she finally managed to do. Got her! Hey, guess what? Flora has invited us to a house she’s rented in Norfolk; it’s the first week in July.

That’ll be lovely, darling. What’s the occasion?

No idea; it was an official invite. I’m going to see Agnes tonight. Maybe she just wants a get-together.

Who else is invited?

I only know about Monty and Mildred.

Why am I suddenly feeling less excited about this?

Beth laughed.

Come on, Jordan, it’ll be lovely. I’ve done my research – lovely beach and long walks. The house she’s rented looks beautiful. I bet Agnes and Frank will go too. Lots of lovely pubs nearby.

I’m looking forward to it already.

Beth chatted to her husband as she walked to their house. Just as she got through the gate, she mentioned to him that Monty was coming to stay tomorrow.

"Beth, you know what I’m not going to say."

Don’t worry. It’s just a chilled couple of days.

Chapter Two

Since ‘the incident’ at the Hall… (as a collective; they had decided if they ever needed to reference their experience at the Hall, they would call it ‘the incident’ – murder was quite a scary word to use even though that is exactly what it was). Beth quite enjoyed her short walks to The Gate House. Tonight was no different. It was always very quiet. Nowadays, she could make this journey knowing it would be uneventful but pleasant at the same time.

Agnes always looked forward to seeing her; Beth had picked some flowers from her garden. In truth, she was never quite sure what she was picking or whether it was a good or bad idea to pick them; also, she had been known on occasion to pick weeds (some of them are so beautiful when they flower so she can be forgiven). It was actually her gardener, a local lad called Eddie, who was a very quiet young man but, boy, did he know his plants! Beth was grateful for his horticultural skills. As much as she loved to be out in the garden, she didn’t really have any idea about what she was doing. It was also Eddie who removed the fish guts following ‘the incident’. He didn’t even ask why they were there, he just moved them – no mask or gloves required; anyhow, it had been Eddie who had pointed out that the bouquet Beth had sculpted for her next-door neighbour was full of weeds. She had put them in a vase on her kitchen table and bought her neighbour a bunch of flowers from The Power of the Flower in town. Too stressful and, at that point, stress was behind a door she had firmly closed.

It was on that occasion she thought she saw Eddie smile. That hadn’t happened since. Monty had mentioned that she should employ someone who found conversation easier to come by.

Why pay for someone whom you have to work so hard to communicate with?

It’s a challenge, she replied, plus, he’s really good.

Today, Beth played the safe card; she’d sabotaged a rather plentiful rose bush. Everyone loved roses. Agnes would love them.

Knocking on the door, Agnes was immediately on the other side and didn’t disappoint.

Oh Beth, these are beautiful, thank you so much. Come in, the kettle’s on.

Beth made a comment that it was nice to have a cuppa rather than a glass of wine, then went on to say that Monty would be coming to stay tomorrow arriving at wine o’clock. Agnes asked if Mildred was coming too and they both laughed when Beth explained that Monty wasn’t going to tell her where he was going. Agnes had a bet that Mildred would be there within 24 hours. Beth laughed but there was always that possibility and a strong one at that.

Over a cup of breakfast tea, Beth learned that Flora had been invited to her old school friend’s wedding in Norfolk. Agnes was delighted that Flora had asked Frank to be her plus-one. Frank was beyond excited and confessed to Agnes that he had no clue what he should wear. Lady Grey, as was her way, had driven Frank into town