Heart Burn

By Brendan Rubin

Abe, a young man in the forever-moving city of Montreal, is suffering with a destroyed mental health, and battles his way through rock-bottom. With a range of barriers preventing him from moving on, Abe finds himself questioning his next move throughout his journey. Does h

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brendan Rubin
• Release date: Mar 31, 2024
• ISBN: 9781738329212

Book preview

Heart Burn

Brendan Rubin

Copyright © 2024 by Brendan Rubin

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Book Cover by Radu Muresan

1st edition 2024

ISBN (paperpack) 978-1-7383292-0-5 | ISBN (EPUB) 978-1-7383292-1-2

To my parents, Tyler, Chad, my close buds who helped me get to where I am today, and the princess, Brooklyn.

Contents

1.Who, what, where, whyyyyyyy?

2.Broken

3.The Camera

4.Jail?

5.Dreaming

6.Conversations, conversations.

7.The River

8.Burial

9.¿Interlude?

10.Jack Kerouac

11.wHat THe HELl

12.Fever Dreams

13.How Much Longer?

14.The Return

15.Lost & Found

16.Smile.

Do not go gentle into that good night

About the author

one

Who, what, where, whyyyyyyy?

Floating in space. Trying to reach for anything. Grasping. Arms are flailing. Something to get out of trouble, to escape. Drowning, but where’s the water? The pressure is coming in, first in the head, moving to the chest, and spreading out like seeds in the wind.

Abe, are you sure the meds are working?

Waking up from his dream, but was he ever really sleeping? Life is just passing by. Fleeting moments of consciousness. The meds are helping but life isn’t real. Is it worth it to die numb, or live in mental squalor?

Flinching at every movement.

Unable to focus on a single thought.

Feeling blood course through his veins wishing he could let it seep through his skin to never feel it again.

Anything could set him off at any given moment. ‘Why didn’t you bring the glasses down?’ Glasses thrown at the wall, bedside tables flipped, dents in the walls, and bloody fists. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck your glasses and your stupid fucking face yelled Abe.

Where did we go wrong? Why can’t you just talk to us?

We’re here for you, whatever you need.

But that’s not how life works. He lies awake at night trying to replay the events but can’t recall all the details. Life is a funny thing. Wake up in a sweat, in agony, contemplate death, sleep, repeat.

Why can’t life go right? Therapy, SSRIs, friends, pussy, money, drugs, alcohol, spirals, and