The Devil Inside

By Bethany Russo

Matthew’s life is turned upside down the day his daughter, Lucy, is born. His wife has died, and Gabriel, the all-powerful leader of his world, has taken Lucy to the mortals. Eight years later, Matthew returns from his self-imposed exile looking for answers. He decides to go back home and ask his brother, Lucifer, for help. It becomes Lucifer’s mission to bring Lucy back home.

Lucy’s family has no idea she is not their biological daughter, nor do they know she is spending time with her real father and uncle. Gabriel is unhappy to find out Matthew and Lucifer have been visiting the mortal world, as their actions have been causing collateral damage. He strips Lucifer of his powers to access Lucy.

The mortal clock is ticking quickly. Will Matthew and Lucy ever be reunited
in the place they both belong?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Nov 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9781035826391

Bethany Russo

Bethany was born and raised in Bath, England, and now lives with her partner, son and their two cats. She has loved writing since a young age and The Devil Inside is her first novel. When not writing, Bethany loves spending time with family and hiking in the Lake District. She also loves reading and reviewing books. Her favourite genres are dark fantasy, horror and anything that includes myths/folklore.

Book preview

About the Author

Bethany was born and raised in Bath, England, and now lives with her partner, son and their two cats. She has loved writing since a young age and The Devil Inside is her first novel.

When not writing, Bethany loves spending time with family and hiking in the Lake District.

She also loves reading and reviewing books. Her favourite genres are dark fantasy, horror and anything that includes myths/folklore.

Dedication

A special thank you to my partner for always listening to my ideas, being my first reader and providing me with a constant supply of encouragement.

Copyright Information ©

Bethany Russo 2023

The right of Bethany Russo to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781035826384 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781035826391 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

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Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Chapter 1

It took Matthew a moment too long to find the courage to knock on the large white door in front of him. He loosened his tie with his shaky hands to make room for some much needed air. For a moment, he looked down at himself and wondered why he had put on a suit, or a tie for that matter.

Maybe looking smart, looking like he had made an effort, would help with his request. He put his hands through his dark ruffle of hair and desperately tried to push away the nagging thoughts of the last time he was here and with one further deep breath, he knocked on the door. Without so much of a second thought, Matthew walked into the room.

Most people wait to be welcomed in, you know, Gabriel said without looking up.

I-I-I’m sorry. Matthew didn’t want to sound nervous, he didn’t want to be weak but it had become near impossible to mask.

Gabriel looked up almost instantly, his mouth dropping. Matthew? He stood up, the white of his suit almost dancing an angelic light around him Matthew de Raven, well I say, it’s really you. Matthew felt as if his mind was on fire, as if some little people were running around inside him attempting to find a box of words.

He hadn’t really prepared for this moment, after another nightmare, another early morning waking up with a jolt and a panicky sweat, he decided it was time to come here. It was now, he was realising the memories were coming back with a sharp, painful force.

He tried to push them aside and focus on something else, it would be right to focus on the next words to say to Gabriel but instead he glanced around the familiar room. Gabriel’s desk, his sofa, the array of plants, his light walls and large photographs of trees and gardens.

The one large window letting in a glow of light, it was almost as if Gabriel had designed this room to look like The Garden of Eden. He noticed the large photo behind the desk of an ocean but through its beauty, it gave Matthew nothing but the sensation of his lungs burning, drowning in his thoughts unable to meet the surface.

Why don’t you sit down? Gabriel offered as he gestured towards the sofa, would you like a coffee, some tea perhaps?

Matthew shrugged and slouched into the sofa, his hand instinctively pulling a strand of hair from the patch beside his ear, just as a memory of where it all went wrong surfaced. He could see Gabriel watching him from the corner of his eye, the curiosity shining on his angelic face.

He wondered if he had made a mistake coming here, if he was surfacing some memories for the sake of nothing. Gabriel handed him a cup and took a seat in his own, perfectly crisp clean white chair. Gabriel’s presence was regal, confident and commanding but the smile on his face made it impossible to find him threatening.

You have a new door? was all Matthew could muster up.

Yes, that horror of a brother of yours knocked my last one down, Gabriel sighed as he put his cup on the side and directed his gaze back at Matthew I am really glad you are here, but Matthew was lost within his own thoughts. It had been here in which he screamed, kicked, cried, here in which his brother had lifted him from under his arms and dragged him out of the room.

Give her back, she’s mine!

He quickly shook his head, although he knew that was no help in getting the intruders in his mind to leave. They would only sing his thoughts louder, stamp their feet firmer, they’d make sure he remembered every last memory, every last word and they’d make sure he felt it all over again.

When? Matthew asked, looking down at the coffee he now didn’t want to drink. A sense of betrayal coming over him that he was here and not with his brother.

How long do you think you’ve been away, Matthew?

He didn’t know, it felt like a thousand years alone in the darkness of that dirty cabin in the woods. It also felt like only days, the loss all so vivid and fresh in his mind. He slept through most of it, welcoming sleep as his closest form of death.

It was peaceful, sometimes he could fall into a world with Emily and his daughter, the world where nothing had gone wrong. However, most of the time he had the nightmares, the vivid memories and grief coming to life all over again. Sleep was still better though, it was better than being left alone with his thoughts and it usually cured the intense headaches.

A year? Matthew guessed.

Eight years, Matthew. Eight years. I’ve had your brother here a fair few times knocking down my door demanding to know where you are. I’m not sure if he thought I actually knew or he just wanted to kick my door down every time I had it replaced.

Gabriel stopped his moan and gave him a sympathetic smile, he could tell Matthew honestly did not think it had been that long. Matthew fell further into the sofa and blew so much air into cheeks that he felt as if he was going to choke as he puffed it all out.

An image of his brother’s face popped inside his mind and it made him feel an agonising guilt for leaving him. It also made him feel a sense of terror, his brother might hate and resent him for this. His brother held good grudges, he was the last person anyone would ever want to cross.

He also thought of Emily. Tears glistened in his eyes, he didn’t want to cry here, not again, not ever. If he cried, he wouldn’t stop and this time he wouldn’t have anyone to drag him out and carry him home. Matthew couldn’t remember much of it, the memory ended with his brother dragging him out of the room, kicking and fighting like a toddler.

Something hit him then, his daughter, the daughter he didn’t know, not even what she looked like but now she would be eight. He had many questions but he could only really form one.

Where is she? he spluttered. Where is my daughter?

With the family I gave her to that day, Gabriel replied, he was still sitting so calm and collected. He was completely unfazed by any idea that Matthew might explode the same way he did those years ago. He didn’t feel fear though, Gabriel was untouchable and he bathed in that confidence.

How? Where?

They are humans in the mortal world, Matthew. They were a good fit, the parents had two other children which they treated well. Gabriel took a sip from his coffee. Unfortunately, their third child was not going to make childbirth and they had no idea. I stopped time, I disposed of the dead child and I replaced it with your one.

Your one, Matthew felt the words with a sting and he wondered if he might throw up, decorating the white walls with green and yellow and all sorts. Gabriel continued, They think she is their child, she thinks they are her parents. It’s a good home in a nice little town somewhere in England. She has a roof over her head, a bed to sleep in, food on a plate, a cat she is very fond of. She has a lot more than many other children in that world.

Give her back, she is mine!

It did not feel right listening to Gabriel speak about his daughter. It almost felt like she wasn’t real to Matthew, he had dissociated himself from the idea of where she might be, who she might be. He kept her safe within his mind with Emily.

I want her, Matthew croaked, the first tear rolling down his cheek. He quickly rubbed it away with the palm of hand, he felt as if he had a tennis ball, a giant rock sat in his throat desperate to break out. He somewhat surprised himself, he hadn’t been sure what he was going to say, he knew he wanted information about his daughter but he didn’t expect the intense ache of wanting her with him.

He didn’t even know her, he hadn’t had much more of a relationship with her than holding her the day she was born but she was his. The thought burned within him. She was his.

Matthew, Gabriel moved forward in his chair. I am sorry but you can’t. I couldn’t let you keep her once Emily had died.

Matthew instantly stood, knocking the coffee on the floor. Do not mention her name, he shouted. Quickly, he loosened his tie further and tried to catch his breath. He hadn’t heard Emily’s name be spoken out loud since the day his daughter was born, the same day Emily died, the same day he left everything he knew.

He had only spoken it out loud when he jolted himself awake, screaming it from the nightmares. Hearing it now in the same conversation about his daughter, it all felt too much to handle. Immortals rarely died and if they did, there was always an answer, so how did Emily die?

Gabriel watched him, unfazed by his outburst as he bit his nails quickly like a small child. It reminded Gabriel of the little boy that Matthew once was, the bright green eyes that would ask him a question and would raise his hands to his mouth with a giggle at the answer.

However, their conversations would always end the same way, the two hands of his older devilish brother firmly on his shoulders being led away. The way the brother would look back with those black eyes that would shine red in the darkness, that flicker of a smirk which would almost say, ‘Just you wait, I’m your next match’.

It warmed Gabriel’s heart to think of little Matthew. He was by far the better of the two brothers and he wouldn’t be so grey if he hadn’t always been his brother’s shadow, if he hadn’t been so desperate to seek his approval. He was proud of him though, he had come here before going anywhere else.

He stood meeting his level and calmed his voice as much as he possibly could. Matthew, listen to me, you have forever. Get your life back on track, make some friends, fall in love, have other kids. The mortals don’t have long, hopefully I can tell you that your daughter lived a very long fulfilled life and died very old and peacefully.

Matthew dropped his finger from his mouth and stared at Gabriel in disbelief. Fury rose within him but he did not unleash it. Emily was his first and she would be his last. He didn’t want anyone but her. He didn’t want other kids, he wanted his daughter. The daughter he promised Emily he would keep safe.

The idea of making friends didn’t attract him at all. He never really had friends and he didn’t really want them either. He walked away from his only friend and he had no idea if he would ever be able to fix that. He felt a bubble of love fill inside him for his brother. Eight damn years.

I don’t want any of that, Matthew bit his lip before they sunk and allowed more tears, can I not just see her?

Gabriel took a deep breath, he wondered how much more he could break this boy. No, I am sorry, if I send you across there, it could really cause some damage.

I just want to see her, Matthew pleaded, his voice a pitch too high.

You think you could go over there and not instantly run to her? It could appear very sinister for a man to approach a young child. Gabriel put his hand on Matthew’s shoulder but he shrugged it away as if it stung him.

Gabriel sighed again, I am not doing this against you. I don’t believe whatever strength you have to only look at her from a distance would work. You’d see her, you’d see a part of Emily and you’d try taking her and that’s a mess that I don’t want to clean up.

Matthew gulped. A part of Emily. What did their daughter look like, he thought? As if Gabriel could hear his thoughts and maybe he could, nothing would surprise Matthew about Gabriel’s powers, he said, She has your eyes, Matthew, and he placed his hand on his shoulder again, firmer, such a grip that maybe it would protect Matthew from falling apart into a heap of puzzle pieces, never to be put back together.

Matthew kept his eyes forward, he couldn’t make eye contact, part of him worried he might hit Gabriel, part of him worried he might fall to his knees and beg him. He knew this would be the answer, deep down he did. Gabriel had strong opinions and was confident with his decisions.

You could not argue with him, he might listen to your reasoning out of respect but he knew things would not change. Gabriel and Matthew’s brother were similar in that sense. Gabriel preached good, did good, he believed in second chances if there was a way to work around them without affecting anyone else.

His brother did as he pleased, good or bad; he did not believe in second chances, he believed in punishment. He’d listen to someone reason with him purely out of amusement and spite. Some admired him for it, some were scared and some thought he was the cruellest son of a bitch that they’d ever met.

He was Matthew’s brother though and he didn’t always agree with him, in the same way he didn’t always agree with Gabriel but he shadowed him because he loved him, because he needed him and he felt that need now.

I can’t do anything to change your mind? his eyes still ahead facing the glowing white door.

I am sorry, Matthew but no, Gabriel sat back down and raised his leg over the other. I’d like you to know Matthew, that I have always respected you. Emily was a lovely girl and she didn’t deserve whatever happened to her, not even I have the answers to that, so I made sure the child was given the name you chose for her. Even if you did decide to name her after him.

Matthew met his gaze then and Gabriel continued. Just a little play with the woman’s mind and she picked the name which you chose. Biologically, she is your child Matthew but she is their child now.

Give her back, she is mine!

I should go, Matthew said with a deep breath, he managed not to cry but it was going to come soon. He knew that much for sure and he had to get away from it.

He started to leave and just as he grabbed the door, he heard Gabriel speak behind him. Don’t go to your brother, Matthew. He is no good for you.

He left, shutting the door behind him and falling against the wall. He allowed his legs to let him slide down and for a brief moment of weakness, cried into his knees. He hated Gabriel more than ever in that moment. Of course it was not his fault what happened to Emily but he had no right to take his daughter and no right to tell him what to do next.

Matthew used whatever strength he found within him to stand and decided to go to the next person who might be able to help, his heart skipped a beat at the idea but his meeting with Gabriel had changed something. He didn’t want to just know about his daughter any longer, he didn’t want to steal a glance from the distance, he wanted her back with him.

He walked with his head held high, he felt a shimmer of confidence for the first time in a while. He’d had already lost everything, so what could he lose now? If it all went wrong then maybe he could find that peaceful thing called death, as clearly it was easier than he first believed.

Chapter 2

Lucy did not want to be at an after school charity event, the same way she did not always want to be at school or at home. She did not know where she wanted to be. Her parents did not want to be here either, that much she knew for sure. They found their opportunities though, it gave Karen a chance to show off, be centre of attention.

It gave Howie a chance to sit in the corner with a cup of tea, a bit of peace for a while. Lucy could see the way he would grimace and look away as Karen got carried away in conversation, her voice raising and her laugh almost hysterical. She did not like the women she was speaking to, she’d be sure to tell Howie later that they were big headed bitches.

The women did not like her in return and it was somewhat obvious, even to Lucy, by the way they’d roll their eyes at each other when Karen looked away.

How two people could be so different, Lucy thought. How those two people could get married and turn out to be my parents, she would think endlessly at night.

Lucy wished she was in her bedroom with her best friend, her cat Molly. Instead she decided to find her own opportunity. Karen had already told her to leave her alone, so she knew she had time. Walking past Howie as he sipped from his tea and admired a biscuit, she mumbled, I am going to play with my friends outside.

He nodded and Lucy slipped out of the hall casually, walking past her classmates who were in the courtyard kicking a ball, dancing and laughing. None of them interested her and none of them looked as she went through the other door and into the quiet lobby.

Her second year in this school but the painted wall still fascinated her, she ran her hand over the colourful princesses, the pirates fighting, her favourite yellow sponge and took a bold move forward down the steps which faced her in the direction of the long, dark and very quiet corridor.

How desperate she was to explore the quiet school after hours, she tried to distract her mind from the stories her older brother and sister tormented her with. Jason told his favourite ones on an endless loop, gathering more gory detail each time, the story of the caretaker who fell from the clock tower and left a bloody handprint on the boiler door.

The story of how the basement had matching corridors to the above ones, the ghosts of the dead patients; from the hospital this school used to be; still roaming them. Libby flicked her hair with enjoyment as she told the story of the women in white who sat in the cloakrooms; waiting to be reunited with her daughter; screaming at anyone else who dared enter.

Howie always tried to shut the stories down, especially with Libby, telling her that ten years older than Lucy, she should know better than to intentionally frighten her.

I am eight now, I can do this, Lucy said to herself, remembering the last time she stood here, only to run away back to the safety of the hall. Something was different today, she felt bolder, she felt taller and she felt like some invisible force was calling her to walk to the canteen. I can do this, she said to herself again, I will do this.

Lucy took a step forward and before she could allow any of the ghost stories to enter her head, she walked down the corridor, she did not turn to look down the two enjoining corridors on one side, nor did she turn to look at the open cloakrooms on the other side.

One more deep breath and she skipped down the steps which led to the canteen, finding some more courage within her to open the two large doors, she stepped into the room, not noticing the lights flicker on without a touch. The room was large and cold, the kitchen area was open and seemed deathly dark.

Lucy had never really noticed the dirty blue carpet, the food and drink stains up the white walls. She tried to imagine it all during the school day, the long tables, the loud hustle and bustle of children. That small flicker of joy when she found that Howie had put a chocolate bar into her lunch box.

Lucy walked to the middle of the canteen and thought of how brave she was to come here. She wanted to tell Jason and Libby that she was not a scared little eight-year-old like they had name called her, she wanted to tell Karen that she was not a disappointment like she had called her numerous times.

Instead she told herself not to think of them but to enjoy the moment, so she closed her eyes, lifted her arms out to the sides and spun on the spot.

Chapter 3

Arriving outside of his brother’s manor house, Matthew felt the sickness creeping up inside him again. He realised very quickly upon his arrival that this was not just about seeing his brother again. This house, this estate, was a kaleidoscope of memories, hidden in the walls conjuring the many different memories that time had presented to him.

The house’s appearance was almost as conflicting as his brother’s personality. While it looked gothic and sinister and had a terrifyingly unwelcoming touch, it also gave a sense of magic and warmth that made it hard to turn away. Though the windows offered an opening to the warm, comforting light, they also appeared more like eyes than ever before.

The ground and first floor windows were large and imposing, rectangular voids cut into the stone. The top floor windows were much smaller, circular and ominous. In that moment, Matthew felt as if every window was watching him, judging him, as if to say ‘It’s been a while since we’ve seen you buddy, you’ve taken a risk coming back here you know’.

His brother, finding the darkness in life and wanting to bury himself within it, also craved the light. It made him feel something other than a loss of hope, other than a fear of impending doom that could creep up on him at any given moment. The large door that sat in the middle of the two projecting turrets looked inviting, uninviting, familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time.

Matthew felt more alive than he ever had these last eight years, the unknown, the anticipation of what was to come was better than the truth. He had seen what the darkness does, it had a hold over him, he had said goodbye to who he was and whatever life he thought he was meant to have and now, he was here, somewhat different but ready to try again.

The wall that separated Matthew from the main garden area of the estate was still covered in the flowers that Emily had planted and his brother, somehow maintained. The thought of Emily pushed Matthew to take his first step within the estate.

He walked through the pillars and took a deep breath, he knew his brother did not need gates here, for he had the power to raise an invisible projective barrier around the estate and protect himself and those within it from intruders, enemies or anything of the sort.

Walking through it would be like walking into a glass door, a giant bubble, sending you back instantly with an electric shock. Matthew though, knew this barrier did not apply to him and never would. He knew that once he was within the walls of the estate, there was a chance that his brother might use his powers to never allow him to leave but maybe that was okay.

Maybe his brother would do it from love, maybe he would do it from anger. Maybe he’d welcome him back with wide arms or maybe he’d torture him with questions and resentment.

Amending his tie nervously, Matthew walked the gravel pathway and through the large opening of the wall. There was a comforting feel about the gardens which overlooked the mountains and the river. It gave Matthew some sort of peace.

He took the next set of steps and gazed at the next row of colourful flowers that Emily had planted. He gently brushed them with his hands as he walked the path towards the house, knowing that once Emily had touched them too.

Finally the large door was in front of him, he caught his breath as he knocked. The house held so many ghosts, so many memories. The place in which his brother lived, the place in which he and Emily had lived for some time too, the place in which they found out she was pregnant, where his daughter ended up being born, where Emily had died.

The silence around the house was eerie, creepy almost and he could feel his brother’s presence again. He wondered if his brother was going to come out peacefully, aware Matthew was already here or if he was going to pounce out like an animal, realising someone had somehow managed to break through his safety barrier.

The wait and the silence was becoming unbearable, he turned and faced the river and the never ending perfectly green rolling hills and countryside. Although obscured from his view, Matthew thought of the staircase at the house’s flank. Long steps leading down to a hidden garden, walking down them, whatever time of day would feel like walking into darkness but once there, the warmth of the light would take over.

The thought pained him, it had been Emily’s favourite area. Hidden by the tall trees, there was the small pond and the flower garden which she loved. They would sit for hours admiring it all. Emily would run her hands along the grass which she was now buried beneath.

Maybe he should leave, he thought. Maybe this was his chance to run again. He could run quickly down the garden, jump the slope and crawl to the bottom of the river. Maybe his brother would eventually find him and carry him home or maybe he could stay there, alone and unknown just as the last eight years had been. Just as he considered doing it, the trees swished in the wind and he heard the doors behind him open.

Matthew? a familiar voice said. Matthew turned slowly, his eyes glistening with tears as he saw his brother. Eight years was not a long time in this world and it was normal for no one to change but now he really was seeing one of the ghosts of his past. Matthew had no idea how he would react to seeing his daughter, if he ever had the chance.

Lucifer, Matthew replied quietly. They both looked at each other for a while. Lucifer was not one to be surprised but he was clearly astonished to see his brother. Lucifer wore his favourite black suit and for the first time, Matthew could see how alike they were.

Lucifer