The Message of Light Amid Letters of Darkness

By Rosemarie Birri D'Alessandro

On April 19, 1973, Rosemarie D'Alessandro's daughter, Joan, said "Goodbye, Mommy," as she ran out the door. Joan was a Brownie Scout, and she was excited about delivering the last two boxes of Girl Scout cookies to a neighbor. Her mother didn't know it would be the last time that she would see her seven-year-old child alive. Her neighbor sexually assaulted and brutally murdered her joyful little girl.

The crime stunned the suburban community of Hillsdale, New Jersey, and the entire nation. The emphasis on child safety changed overnight. Rosemarie was numb with grief, but she was able to get some peace and solace by her belief that there was a hopeful message in the significant days Joan was killed and found.

Twenty years later, when her killer shockingly had a chance to get out of prison, she started a grassroots movement and the community united together to get over one hundred thousand signatures opposing his parole. Rosemarie saw that laws had to be changed to stop the injustice that her family had to go through. Her efforts led to the passage of five laws on the state and federal level that would help to protect children and give victims more rights.

An unimaginable turn of events took place when a man brought her 332 letters that Joan's killer wrote. After he died in 2021, Rosemarie felt free to share all the letters in their entirety, which gives the reader a rare opportunity to see inside the mind of a killer. In this book, The Message of Light amid Letters of Darkness, the letters are included with Rosemarie's summaries and comments, and she tells the parallel story of her life and activism during the time period the letters were written.

Her story shows the power of the human spirit as Rosemarie finds a way to make something hopeful out of horrendous tragedy. She perseveres to go for what she believes in despite unexpected obstacles and hardships. She doesn't let hate and animosity take her down, freeing her to go forward and become Joan's voice. Fifty years later, Joan's legacy of hope, justice, and love shines brighter than ever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 21, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887313337

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Acknowledgments

The Law Changes Inspired by Joan's Legacy

Index of Significant Letters

The Wind and the Forsythia

Prologue

Nineteen Seventies

Nineteen Eighties

Nineteen Nineties

Two Thousands

Epilogue

About the Author

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The Message of Light Amid Letters of Darkness

Rosemarie Birri Dand#39;Alessandro

Copyright © 2023 Rosemarie Birri D’Alessandro

All rights reserved

First Edition

Fulton Books

Meadville, PA

Published by Fulton Books 2023

ISBN 979-8-88731-332-0 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88982-895-2 (hardcover)

ISBN 979-8-88731-333-7 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

To my precious child Joan

and

to the children of today and tomorrow

Acknowledgments

I am grateful to those who contributed to making this book a reality:

My son Michael for his special involvement in the growth of his sister's legacy despite not knowing her. Also, I am very thankful for his thorough approach in editing the manuscript and photos, proofreading, formatting, and creative work on the letters.

My son John for his special involvement in the growth of his sister's legacy despite not knowing her. Also, I am very thankful for his commitment and reliability in transcribing, typing, researching, and editing the manuscript and photos.

Lucy Wilks, cover illustrator, for her time and dedication in creating the beautiful, lifelike drawing of Joan and the other captivating illustrations.

Rob Williams, graphic designer, for his imaginative and impactful cover design.

Faye Gemmellaro for her in-depth editorial support and thoughtfulness.

Andrew Consovoy for putting his heart into helping with consultation and resource assistance.

Mavis Ronayne for facilitating the connection between me and the students of Tappan Zee High School who were there at the time of the crime.

Tom Clancey for his time and helpful feedback.

John and Mary Ann Martin for their generosity in helping with the expenses of this book.

A supporter for helping with proofreading and reviewing the formatted manuscript.

All those who helped with their useful ideas and support.

All those from the publishing company who worked on this book with diligence and courtesy and for those that went the extra mile.

I am thankful to my family and relatives: my five children for the joy of giving birth to them and the happiness of raising each of them; Rosebud, my miscarried angel; my five grandchildren who bring heartwarming hope for the future; enjoyable times together with my immediate family; my mother and father for my life, for their example of good work ethics, and for the opportunities they gave me; Nonna for always being there for me with a twinkle in her eye; my sister and brother for the good memories at the country house; the good times with my other family members, close and extended; a certain relative who showed a genuine loving way that I can never forget; and my ancestors that made a path for me.

Thank you to all my friends for their help and especially those who have been there for a long time, showing their genuine care.

Thank you to those teachers who encouraged my quest for knowledge, especially one teacher that I had in freshman year of high school, whom I will never forget.

I am grateful for the health-care providers who went the extra mile to help me with my health.

Thank you to the individuals, churches, and centers that helped us during difficult times.

I am grateful to the sponsors, aides, legislators, staff members, governors, and president who contributed so much to the passage of the five laws. I will always remember my experience with them and especially those who worked to support the bills so diligently. Children, youth, victims, and society have all benefited because of them.

I am thankful to all those from the Bergen County Prosecutor's Office, the Hillsdale Police Department, police departments from surrounding areas, the Hillsdale Fire Department, and fire departments from surrounding areas who were involved at the beginning and are still involved to show their care and support for Joan's legacy. I will always remember their dedication and support. I am also thankful to the investigators and all the others who were vital in working on Joan's case.

Thank you to everyone in the Bergen County government—including the executive, freeholders, clerk, sheriff, and their staff—for their assistance through the years. In addition, I am grateful to the mayors and town councils of Hillsdale and the surrounding communities for their loyal support and help throughout the years. Also, thank you to the DPW and local government personnel for their assistance.

I am grateful to the editors, reporters, photographers, and all the other members of the media. I am also grateful to the filmmakers, authors, and graphic designers. I appreciate all they did to spread the word about this case, which increased vigilance in society for child safety.

I am grateful to my town of Hillsdale and the surrounding communities for being there with their hearts from the beginning and particularly to those who never stopped supporting Joan's legacy.

Thank you to the general public and all the people I never met who signed a petition, said a prayer, or showed their support in other ways. It helped to know that you were there.

Thank you to all the victims' rights advocates for their comradeship, time, energy, and really being so involved in making changes for the betterment of society. I am also grateful to all the victims' rights and child safety organizations that helped through their support, efforts, and by being resources for the Joan Angela D'Alessandro Foundation (also known as Joan's Joy).

Thank you to all those who generously donated to the foundation and to the children who gave their dimes and quarters and had their own fundraisers. Thank you for giving from your heart.

I am grateful to the businesses that donated their goods, professional services, and monetary donations. A special thank-you to those who contributed to the creation of the Grotto and the Joan Angela D'Alessandro White Butterfly Sculpture and Garden.

Thank you to all the volunteers for giving their time, talent, and working so hard for the cause. Also, thank you to the local Girl Scout troops and young people who volunteered with such enthusiasm.

Thank you to the local schools for sharing information about Joan's Joy Foundation events and supporting our efforts.

I am grateful to the many organizations our foundation supports that help children and youth. Their work is making a difference in so many young lives.

There aren't enough pages in this book for all the people there are to thank. If I missed someone, just know I am sending you my sincere thanks.

Thank you to Joan's white butterfly spirit for inspiring me.

Thank you to the Blessed Mother for protecting me.

Thank you to God for guiding me.

The Law Changes Inspired by Joan's Legacy

Index of Significant Letters

The Wind and the Forsythia

How the wind beats on the willowy stems

Its glow is still not stopping

even though it showed more glimmer before

It struggles with the movement

upon its graceful stature

It will not give up

but move with fast steps as it treads gracefully

I cannot wonder but only marvel at its resilience

a virtue that can help all of humankind

In these days of remembering the nineteenth

through the twenty-second and the struggle within

The forsythia holds its beauty with dignity

going with the challenges of the fury of the wind

Rosemarie Birri D'Alessandro

April 21, 2021

Prologue

She had gone to deliver Girl Scout cookies to a neighbor who lived down the street from our bilevel house in the suburban town of Hillsdale, New Jersey. Joan was a little girl that lived so much life in her seven years. She radiated with pure joy and was free like a white butterfly. Her last words to me on that Holy Thursday, April 19, 1973, were Goodbye, Mommy, I'll be right back. She would never come back. Her innocent life was taken away by the twenty-seven-year-old chemistry teacher who molested and murdered her.

Her body would be found three days later on Easter Sunday in a crevice formed by a split boulder. I believed that there was a message in these two significant days and started to look for a sign that would reveal itself twenty years after Joan's death.

I was on the path that I was eventually led to follow when I had an unimaginable experience at the second yard sale of The Joan Angela D'Alessandro Foundation (also known as Joan's Joy). At the event, a man approached me by the name of Joe Polin. He said that he had a box of several hundred letters and showed me that they were organized in decades starting from the nineteen seventies and going until the two thousands. Then he said something so shocking. They were written by Joan's killer to his mother, who was his pen pal. He told me that his mother, Sue Polin, had died, and in gathering her belongings, he came across the letters. He gave them to me because he thought they might contain some information that could be used to help keep Joan's killer in prison. However, he could not give me all of them because some were damaged by water and he discarded them, but there were still so many letters from the mind of Joan's killer.

Although he made this generous gesture, I was going to find out something so disturbing years later. This man who came to my house was a pedophile. My son John came across an article in 2018 that said he had sent sexually explicit letters to girls, ages twelve to sixteen, living in twenty-nine states. He included a packet of photos of each girl he took from their social media accounts; some of the girls he had been following for nine years. Law enforcement was able to track him down, and they raided his house. He killed himself after a standoff.

I never expected that my life's experiences would involve the worst darkness and other levels of it. I was born to Italian immigrants from the Piacenza area in northern Italy. My family of six—which included my mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, and myself—lived in a four-room apartment on the top floor of a three-story building in the Bronx, New York. I can remember having supper with my family at the kitchen table, enjoying the good food every night. My mother and father were hardworking people and were able to save for a country house in Wappingers Falls, New York. I had many wonderful memories there, and it is where I developed my love of nature and flowers that continues to this day. I would stay with my grandmother and siblings during the week and wait for my mother, who worked as a dressmaker and my father, who worked as a marble cutter, to come up on the weekends. My mother was interested in education for her three children because she had very little schooling herself. She was talented at sewing and cooking, and she had a determined way. Looking back, I can see from a young age that I had determination too, selling all occasion cards at the age of 12 to all my neighbors and accomplishing my goal of making more than $200. I thought of my father, whom I called Pappa, as a Renaissance man because he was interested in a variety of different things. For instance, he hunted with his beagles and made his own wine. He also liked to spend time with his friends. Many of my social qualities came from him, and his honesty had an impact on me.

My father never put a hand on me, but my mother was the complete opposite. Sometimes she physically abused me when I was a child, and the intensity in her actions made it even more scary. I could have really been hurt. I would scream so loud that some of the tenants most likely heard me. I knew if I screamed louder, she would stop. Afterward, she would act like it never happened.

It was very confusing that my mother would do this because, at other times, she would act so caring. Thankfully, there was a fighting spirit in me that helped me to be resilient, even though at times the effects of the abuse would bring more challenges. If someone had stood up and done something, even if they didn't see it happen, it would have helped in many ways. My experience made me more sensitive to the vulnerability of children. In the future, this sensitivity would take me down an important path when I became an advocate that stood up for children's rights.

When I was a teenager, my family moved to Yonkers, New York, and we had a brand-new home there. I continued to go to St. Catharine's Academy in the Bronx. I had to take two buses and a train, but it was worth it. I felt the all-girls high school was ahead of its time, and they had a keen awareness for empowering girls to be strong and independent women that cared about social justice. I furthered my education by going to college, and I was given a leadership award freshman year, not knowing an award like that existed. It was an experience in self-awareness that proved to have a positive impact on me. I graduated from Hunter College and started a master's program at Fordham University in special education. My experience there was exciting and rewarding but I left the program to marry the boy next door.

One of the hardest and continuing challenges in my life began when I started experiencing mild symptoms of leg weakness in college. My symptoms became worse after I got married and had three children in two years. After searching for eight years, I was diagnosed with a chronic neuromuscular autoimmune condition that causes abnormal tiredness and weakness and makes me susceptible to respiratory problems. The not-giving-up attitude that I developed during the long period of time it took for me to be diagnosed with myasthenia gravis would help me deal with an unexpected turn in my life.

The startling surprise came in the form of a phone call in July of 1993, saying that Joan's killer had come up for parole much sooner than expected. The prospect of Joan's killer walking free on the streets was abhorrent to me. I decided that I had to do something to honor my daughter's life: fight for justice and follow the message that I believed in. I had to start from scratch because the past twenty years had been a quiet time in Joan's case, so I began to make her story alive again in order to rally the people. I had a goal, but I had to work at it differently because of the abnormal fatigue I would get. Many times, I wasn't able to have the clarity and organization that would have made things easier, but what I did have was a certain intuition that helped me to manage. Thankfully, thousands lent their efforts, and the grassroots movement grew.

The course of the movement changed when I came to the realization something had to be done to ensure other families would not have to go through the same thing. Joan's Law was created and, with the support of many, was signed into law in New Jersey in 1997. There would be four more laws passed protecting children and giving victims more rights. These laws would not prevent Joan's killer from continuing to try to get out of prison by appealing, and we had to endure court rulings that went against us. His most recent parole eligibility was in 2008, and I had to galvanize our town of Hillsdale and surrounding communities to fight to keep him in. Thankfully, he was denied again, and this time, he did not appeal the