30 Plays for Child Actors

By Gorman John Ruggiero

For over thirty-five years, Gorman John Ruggiero trained child actors. The many productions are represented in this collection of his plays. These works include folktales, mythology, religious stories, and original works that can help children learn some of life’s lessons by acting them out on stage.

Ruggiero spent many years working with children on the autism spectrum, and many of these plays were performed jointly with typically developing children to great success. This process truly enhanced the communication skills of the child actors, as well as helped develop in them an understanding of autism. Many friendships were created during the rehearsal and performance process as children learned about one another’s differences and commonalities.

In a world where communication is sorely lacking, Ruggiero believes that physical, emotional, and intellectual expression, found in the performing arts, is crucial for the success in personal and professional relationships. Helping children perform these plays will advance that notion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887510750

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30 Plays for Child Actors

Gorman John Ruggiero

ISBN 979-8-88751-074-3 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88751-075-0 (digital)

Copyright © 2023 by Gorman John Ruggiero

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction to 30 Plays for Child Actors

The Mystery of the Disappearing Beans

Elephants and Hummingbirds

The Animal's Gold

The Artist, Ma Ki

The Fox and the Fish

Kamapua'a, the Pig God of Oahu

Joseph in the Pit

Tizoc, the Rabbit King

Very Good Weather

The Fighting Catblade

A Turnip Tale

Dinner at Six

Do Not Inhale

Rhodopsis, the Egyptian Cinderella

The Child's Tempest

The Pot

Jesus Rises from the Tomb

Gilgamesh and Enkidu

Support the Other Person

Inside the Mind of a Fourteen-Year-Old

Foolish Questions

The Chocolate Man

The Mayor of Chiddleyville

Gobolarian

Pedrolino and the Pouting Princess

The Devil's Door

Báisè Xuè and the Eight Zouyu

The Terrible Nungwama

Pandora's Jar

Stephen, the Pip, and the Stolen Star

About the Author

To my brothers and sisters who taught me the wonder of play:

Christine

Carmen

JoAnn

Sylvester

Peter

Garrick

Catherine

Marcus

Joseph

Christopher

May you stay forever young.

—Bob Dylan

Acknowledgments

I submit my enduring thanks to the following:

Norris Houghton, Theatre Artist and visionary whose pioneering work gave me the opportunity to work in the Theatre. Houghton's travels and exploration of the Russian Theatre in the 1930s resulted in his book Moscow Rehearsals and was the inspiration for the Acting and Theater Conservatory at SUNY Purchase.

Kay Carney, Acting Teacher, SUNY, Purchase Jerzy Grotowski, whose Acting work inspired me throughout my career.

Rita Finnegan, Principal at Lake Avenue Elementary School who helped me begin writing plays for child actors.

Ellen Ciampa, whose hard work and dedication to Lake Avenue Theatre of Children was vital to this work.

The parents, children, and friends of Lake Avenue Theatre of Children.

The parents, children, and friends of World Theatre of Children.

My son, Dylan A. Ruggiero who performed in many of these plays.

My son, Bryn W. Ruggiero and my daughter, Juliet A. Ruggiero whose love and support kept me creative over the years.

Michael Burns, an early colleague whose dedication to Improvisational Acting Technique is an inspiration

Donald and Billy Woodin

Joseph Anthony, Actor and Director

Very Special Thanks

Tasia Mullock, for her help and advice

Matthew and Diana Alfano

Introduction to 30 Plays for Child Actors

In today's complicated world, where children are mesmerized by the vast quantity of entertainment, including movies, television, streaming services, social media, and all the latest eye-catching fads that monopolize their time and move them through a childhood that is all too short, it is vitally important that parents, teachers, and other educators heed this warning: give children an opportunity to express themselves emotionally, physically, and intellectually away from the digital world.

Throughout my career as an acting teacher and psychologist working with typically developing children (TD) and children on the autism spectrum (AS), I found the lack of interpersonal communication skills was so pervasive that children were losing ground in their classroom education as well as in healthy personal relationships.

In 1980, I was ignorant of child education. Being a conservatory-trained actor, I moved my acting company from New York City to Saratoga Springs, New York. While there, I was informed that Rita Finnegan, the principal at Lake Avenue Elementary School, was very supportive of the arts. At that time, the term interfacing with professional artists became a popular theme. I proposed an acting program for children, and we started The Lake Avenue Theatre of Children. With Rita's support and encouragement, children were trained in improvisational work, stage blocking, character development, and more. When they were ready to perform, I began to look for an appropriate play for children aged seven to nine years old.

At that time, there was no online searching; I only had the local libraries and bookstores to rely on. The bookstores were devoid of any plays for child actors. The libraries were not helpful, and I read through many plays for children but found none for child actors, so I decided to write my own and adapted the story of the mischievous cat, Puss in Boots. That play evolved over thirty years into a full-length play with music called The Fighting CatBlade and is included in this volume.

However, something else occurred that moved this program in another direction I never saw coming. Rita was meeting with her teachers regularly and monitoring the differences in the children attending my classes. She told me that her teachers noticed that some children were more focused on listening calmly, and others would initiate conversations without prompts from the teacher. Also, they noticed that typically unruly children were more sedate and were concentrating better in class. Rita asked me if her teachers could observe my work with their students to see what I was doing. I had no idea that the students were changing their learning skills, but I did know they were improving as actors and, most importantly, communicating, listening, waiting until others finished their thoughts, and the other skills of communication I was teaching.

Basically, I was not teaching acting because there was a gap in the children's skills. They could not learn acting techniques until I bridged that communication skills gap. I learned that there were fundamental communication skills needed for children to learn acting skills. I found myself creating exercises and tasks that helped children understand the acting technique.

That revelation directed me to understand that acting was more about communication skills than any inherent artistic talent. Yes, talent matters, but skills are what is needed. That is what I have spent over forty years teaching: communication skills. My point is the skills learned by developing creative expression in children are, after all, communication skills.

Over the years, I began to work with children on the autism spectrum (AS) as well as typically developing children (TD).

In my workshops for parents, educators, and psychologists as well as attorneys who championed the rights of AS children, I always began my presentation by asking one important question. I wrote the following on the board or showed it on a screen:

What is the most important area of education a child needs to be successful in personal and professional relationships?

History

English

Social studies

Math

Communication skills

Science

Athletics

Over the years, more than 99 percent of responses chose communication skills. Of course, my next question was, then why is there not a formal course of communication skills in every grade level from pre-k through college? There was much confusion and chagrin, but no one had an answer.

The craft of acting is a good place to start engendering children to learn fundamental communication skills. Hence, this book.

By engaging children in the expressive, creative arts, the road to improved communication skills can be opened.

The Plays

Throughout my years of working with children, I attended many performances by children and youth actors presented by schools and community theaters. Although I enjoyed every single production, I learned one lesson: it is better for children to give an excellent performance in a short play than to give a mediocre performance in a longer production. Some of the short plays in this volume are two to ten minutes. These plays give child actors much more time to perfect their lines, improve their movement and interactions with other children, and practice their roles. Children who perform short plays with excellence become more confident to do longer works.

The longer plays are for older actors but include groups of characters that can be played by younger actors. Mixing age groups into one production was a trademark of my work with children. Incorporating different age groups gave leadership opportunities to older students and great satisfaction to younger students by the inclusion. I also included children with AS in most of my productions. TD children embraced those with ASD, and the rehearsal process became a healthy socialization environment for both groups.

These plays can be performed on a bare stage or with elaborate sets. The costumes can be professional or made by the children and parents themselves. Props are kept at a minimum in most of the plays.

Several plays include songs and dances.

Enjoy these plays.

The Mystery of the Disappearing Beans

_____________________________________

A Play for Children Aged 7–12 Years

Adapted from a Caribbean Folk Tale

by

Gorman John Ruggiero

Characters

NARRATOR ONE

NARRATOR TWO

MOTHER

FATHER

CHILD 1

CHILD 2

CHILD 3

CHILD 4

CHILD 5

THE FAVORITE CHILD

THE OCEAN GOD

THE OCEAN SPIRITS

Story line: A family regains a lost child through the honesty of her siblings.

Moral of the story: Do not take that which does not belong to you.

Running time: 28 minutes.

Scene One

Setting: In a small wooden house on a beautiful Caribbean Island.

AT RISE: Enter narrators one and two. They are dressed like islanders, possibly fishers or cooks.

Narrator One

Once, there was a family that lived on a beautiful island.

Narrator two

The island was located in the beautiful Caribbean Sea.

Narrator one

The family loved their island home and kept it very clean and neat.

Narrator two

There were six children in the family, and they did a lot of chores while their parents worked in the sugarcane fields.

Narrator one

One of the children was the parents' favorite child.

(The children and the parents begin to enter doing various improvised chores. The work is simple object* work indicating what work they are engaged in.)

Narrator two

The parents worked in the fields cutting sugarcane while the children did the chores. At night the family gathered for dinner.

(The parents bring a large blanket and set it on the floor for the table and children gather around, eat dinner, and sing a song. Then parents kiss each child and send them to bed.)

*Improvisational action using imaginary objects such as a broom, a mop, etc.

Narrator one

Life was very good on the beautiful island!

Narrator two

One morning, the parents were leaving for work in the fields.

Narrator one

Each child was given a chore to do. The favorite child was left to cook the beans.

(The mother gives the pot of beans to the favorite child.)

Mother

These are all the beans we have left to eat. Goodbye, children.

Father

Take good care of those beans! Goodbye, children!

(The children all say goodbye in different ways and begin doing their chores using object work.)

Narrator one

The parents went to the fields to meet the sun for breakfast and then work in the sugarcane fields.

Child 1

I'll sweep the floors!

Child 2

I'll clean the dishes!

Child 3

I'll gather wood for the fire!

Child 4

I'll wash the clothes!

Child 5

I'll make the beds!

Favorite child

And I'll do the important job! I'll cook the beans!

(Each child improvises the job they declare.)

Narrator two

That evening, when the parents came home tired and hungry, they set the table for supper.

(The parents set the tablecloth as before and children gather around.)

Narrator one

But when the cover was taken off the bean pot—

Mother

Someone has eaten all the beans!

Father

Who in the world ate all the beans?

CHILDREN 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

(Divide up these lines.)

Not me! Not me! I didn't! I don't know! The fox and the rabbit! The box turtles! I haven't seen anybody! Nobody! Birds! Birds! Chickens!

Narrator two

But the favorite child remained silent.

(Moment of silence.)

NARRATORS

The children went to bed hungry while the parents talked over the problem.

Father

Someone ate the beans and only the ocean can tell us the guilty one!

Mother

Please, husband! Don't throw them into the ocean! I know the ocean will keep the guilty child and throw the innocent ones back to shore, but I could not bear to lose even one child!

Narrator one

You see, on this island, it was believed that if someone guilty of a crime was thrown into the ocean, the wild ocean would swallow them up to purify the world of this criminal. But if the person were innocent, the ocean would spit them back onto the shore as proof of their innocence.

Narrator two

The parents decided not to throw the children into the sea. They all woke the next morning.

Narrator one

When the sun rose over the blue waters, every child was assigned a chore. The favorite child was assigned to cook the beans for supper.

Mother

These are all the beans we have. Goodbye, children!

Father

Take good care of all the beans! Goodbye, children!

Narrator one

The parents went to the fields to meet the sun for breakfast and then to work in the sugarcane fields.

Narrator two

The children did their chores.

(The children all say goodbye in different ways and begin doing their chores using object work.)

Child 1

I'll sweep the floors!

Child 2

I'll clean the dishes!

Child 3

I'll gather wood for the fire!

Child 4

I'll wash the clothes!

Child 5

I'll make the beds!

Favorite child

And I'll do the important job! I'll cook the beans!

Narrator one

That evening, when the parents came home tired and hungry, they set the table for supper.

Narrator two

But when the cover was taken off the bean pot—

Mother

Someone has eaten all the beans!

Father

Who in the world ate all the beans!

CHILDREN 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

(Divide up these lines.)

Not me! Not me! I didn't! I don't know! The fox and the rabbit! The box turtles! I haven't seen anybody! Nobody! Birds! Birds! Chickens!

Narrator one

But the favorite child remained silent.

(Moment of silence.)

Narrator two

The children went to bed hungry while the parents talked over the problem.

Father

Someone ate all the beans, and only the ocean can tell us the guilty one!

Mother

We must throw them into the ocean? But I am afraid to lose even one of my children.

Father

It is the custom and the law! We must throw them into the ocean.

Mother

I know it is the custom and the law and so I will do it, but I am still afraid.

Father

I also am afraid for my beautiful children, but we must throw them into the ocean according to our beliefs and to know the guilty child.

Narrator one

The parents went to wake up the children, but they did not take the favorite child.

Mother

We must not wake our favorite child; she would never do anything wrong!

Narrator two

The parents wakened the other children and took them down to the sea.

(Actors improvise the dangerous and difficult trek to the ocean during the storm.)

Narrator one

The road was hard for the ocean seemed angry and it was windy and stormy. They threw the children into the waves to see who had eaten all the beans.

(Using Painted Cloth, Ocean, and Wave actors, use movement to indicate a furious storm.)

NARRATOR TWO

The great Ocean Spirits rose up and said:

ocean GOD

Why are you throwing these children into the sea? Take them back!

ocean SPIRITS

Take them back! Take them back! Take them back! Take them back!

NARRATORS

The children were thrown back to shore.

mother

Oh, my children, my children! I'm so glad to see you back! My beautiful ones!

(She turns to the raging sea and bows.)

Thank you, O Wise Ocean! Thank you for sending my children back to me!

father

Let us go home. Perhaps the Ocean Spirits are in a bad mood and cannot tell which one of our children in the guilty one.

narrators

The parents were happy that the children were safe, and they all went home.

narrator one

The next morning the parents left to meet the sun for breakfast and then went in the sugarcane fields.

narrator two

Each child was given a chore. The favorite child was left to cook the beans for supper.

father

Here is a jug of water—do not leave the stove—guard the beans!

mother

Here is a crust of bread—do not leave the stove—guard the beans!

mother and father

Goodbye children!

(The children all say goodbye in different ways and begin doing their chores using object work.)

narrator one

That evening, when the parents returned from their work tired and hungry, they set the table for supper.

narrator two

But when the cover was taken off the bean pot—

Mother

Someone has eaten all the beans!

Father

Who in the world ate all the beans!

CHILDREN 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

(Divide up these lines)

Not me! Not me! I didn't! I don't know! The fox and the rabbit! The box turtles! I haven't seen anybody! Nobody! Birds! Birds! Chickens!

Narrator one

But the favorite child remained silent.

(Moment of silence.)

Narrator two

The children went to bed hungry while the parents talked over the problem.

mother

Father, we must look at our children and see how they are sleeping, then we can know who is the guilty one.

father

Yes, we must look at our children and see how they are sleeping—this is a wise suggestion.

narrator one

The parents watched the children sleeping. The five children were tossing and turning and speaking of food in their sleep.

narrator two

But the favorite child was sleeping like an angel. Never was there a more heavenly sight. Her face glowed like a perfect picture of contentment and there was a smile on her lips.

(The parents are distressed.)

Father

We must take this child to the ocean.

mother

Yes, we must take this child to the ocean.

narrator one

They took the favorite child and tossed her into the stormy sea.

(The parents take the child through the storm to the sea. The Ocean God and Spirits rise up.)

ocean GOD and SPIRITS

Now we will see how is the mystery solved! Hahahaha!

narrator two

They stood hoping she would be thrown back, but the angry Ocean Spirits laughed and swallowed the favorite child.

Narrators

The parents walked home sadly.

narrator one

The next day when the sun rose over the blue waters and the five children woke up to discover that the favorite child was thrown onto the sea and did not return, they were very unhappy.

narrator two

The parents went to meet the sun for breakfast and the children

did their chores.

(The children are very sad.)

Child 1

I don't feel like sweeping the floors…

Child 2

I don't feel like cleaning the dishes…

Child 3

I don't feel like gathering wood for the fire…

Child 4

I don't feel like washing the clothes…

Child 5

I don't feel like making the beds…

narrator one

When the parents came home from work that evening, they set the table for supper and had a quiet cold dinner.

narrator two

The mother noticed the children were sad and said:

mother

Children, why are you so sad?

Children 1

We miss our favorite sister.

Children 2

Will would like to hear her laughing with us again.

Children 3

We miss her spoiled ways.

Children 4

Could we get her back?

Children 5

Can we ask the Ocean to give her back?

father

The Ocean is a powerful thing. If you ask for your sister back, you must be prepared to do what the Ocean asks of you.

mother

The Ocean is a powerful thing. Let us go ask for our favorite child to be returned to us.

narrator one

The family went to the Ocean and called the Ocean Spirits.

narrator two

The Ocean Spirits rose up angrily and yelled:

ocean GOD

Why do you call me? Why do you disturb me? GO HOME!

Child one

Please, Ocean Spirit, we want our sister back!

ocean GOD

(Laughing ominously.)

You do? Do you? Well, well, well…if you want your sister to return to you, you must answer three questions! If you do not tell the truth, you will be swept up into our waves and drowned!

(Children discuss it with parents and decide to try.)

Children 1

(Fearfully.)

We will try to answer your questions!

ocean God

Question number one! Answer me this: Who ate the beans?

ALL CHILDREN

Umm…ah…uhhh…it…it's…uhhh…ummmmmm…

OCEAN SPIRITS

Who ate the beans?

ALL THE CHILDREN

We…we…weee…all…ate…the…beans…

OCEAN GOD AND OCEAN Spirits

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! So we have finally gotten the truth from you wayward children!

OCEAN sPIRITS

The fox! The rabbit! The box turtles! Anybody! Birds! Birds! Chickens!

ocean GOD

SO it is the truth that makes you ashamed?

all children

We are ashamed!

ocean GOD

Now answer question number 2! Are the fox, the rabbit, the box turtle, the birds…

Ocean sPIRITS

And the chickens!

ocean GOD

Are they innocent?

all children

Yes…yes…yes…

ocean sPIRITS

Innocent and unjustly accused! Shameful children!

all children

We are sorry…sorry…

ocean GOD

And now for question number 3! Did your favorite sister eat the beans?

all children

No! No! No! Our favorite sister told us to stop, and we would not listen!

OCEAN GOD and OCEAN sPRITS

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The wind and rain should engulf youuuuuuuuuu!

all children

Noooooooooooo!

ocean GOD

No. All will be silent.

(Waves quiet down.)

You are finally honest children? And your favorite sister refused to lie, and she refused to tell on you. She has deserved more of your trust and admiration then you gave!

all children

Yes! Let us have her back and we will cherish her! We will love her and cherish her forever!

ocean GOD

Here is your favorite child

(The favorite child is cast up on the shore, the family runs to her and cherishes her.)

ocean sPIRITS

Here she is, here she is…

ocean God

Now go…and do not ever take something that is not yours to take…for you will lose that which you cherish the most…

(The family goes home in joy and wonder.)

narrator one

The children learned their lesson and were honest from that point forward.

narrator two

And they lived a beautiful life on the island and were never afraid to go swim in the sea.

(SLOW FADE TO BLACK WITH GENTLE OCEAN SOUNDS.)

THE END

Elephants and Hummingbirds

__________________________

A Play in One Act

for Children Aged 4–8

Adapted from a Chinese Folktale

by

Gorman John Ruggiero

Characters

NARRATOR 1: A Chinese storyteller.

NARRATOR 2: A Chinese storyteller.

ELEPHANT 1: A braggart.

ELEPHANT 2: A smaller braggart.

3 HUMMINGBIRDS: A small flock.

PERCUSSIIONIST(S): Chinese people with drum, gong, and flute.

NOTE: Additional characters can be added by dividing up lines

Story line: Creatures of the jungle find a way to unite to keep the sky from falling.

Moral of the story: We are each responsible for preserving our world.

Running time: 4 minutes.

Scene 1

SETTING: Early morning in the wild jungle with trees, brushes, sky, various plants, and animals.

AT RISE: The PERCUSSIONIST enters and moves down center, bows to the audience, and then takes a position in what will become a semicircle when the other actors enter. The PERCUSSIONIST hits the gong and all other actors slowly enter from different areas and take their place forming a semicircle facing the audience. The gong is rung again, and all actors kneel. All props and instruments are preset in front of various actors. When all actors are kneeling, face forward, with hands placed palm down on middle of thighs. The PERCUSSIONIST hits the gong again. The NARRATORS rise gently and move down center and bow to the audience. The bow starts with hands at their sides. Hands then float up to center of chest, then a forty-five-degree bow, keeping face toward audience. The bow must be performed as if floating. Coming out of the bow, NARRATORS place themselves on either side of the semicircle, leaving room for the other actors to perform.

narrator 1

Early one morning, when the jungle was fresh and green, two very important Elephants were walking through the jungle.

narrator 2

They felt very important because of their great size! Oh, how they bragged!

(Enter Elephant 1 and 2 from the semicircle.)

elephant 1

HHHRRRRRRRRRRRR! I am the strongest elephant in the jungle! See how I walk through these trees as if they did not exist! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

elephant 2

Well, I am as strong as you are, so you cannot possibly be the strongest!

elephant 1

I am so! I am very important! Otherwise, why would I be so big?

ELEPHANT 2

Not so! I am just as important as you are, if not morrrre so! Hey, look!

narRator 1

Just then, some beautiful Hummingbirds flew into view.

(Enter Hummingbirds from semicircle)

NARRATOR 2

The Hummingbirds landed and fell on their backs and stuck their feet straight up into the air.

elephant 1

See? Those Hummingbirds were so afraid of the sounds of my coming, they fell down dead! HA!

elephant 2

They are not dead! You look! They are just lying there with their feel up in the air! Let us find out what is going on.

elephant 1

HHHRRRRRRRRRRRR! What is the matter with you little birds?

ELEPHANT 2

Are you all right or is there something wrong?

hummingbirds

We heard the sky is going to fall down today!

bird 1

It is very big!

Bird 2

It will be a big problem if it falls down!

BIRD 3

We heard the sky was going to fall down right here!

narrator 1

The elephants were alarmed at the thought of the sky falling down and became meek.

narrator 2

They did not like the thought of such small creatures having such responsibility.

elephant 1

HHHRRRRRRRRRRRR! Do you think your little tiny legs can hold up the whole sky?

elephant 2

Why don't you run and hide instead of trying the impossible?

hummingbids

Everyone has to do what they can! We are willing to do our share! No matter how little a share it is, everyone has to do what they can!

narrators

After much snorting and stomping, the elephants agreed and got down on their backs with their feet up in the air to help the Hummingbirds.

The moral of the story is: Each according to their ability!

all

Each according to their ability!

(NARRATORS move back to semicircle. NARRATOR 1 rings a small bell. ALL ACTORS quietly return to semicircle. They bow to audience together as before and gently kneel.)

(BLACKOUT.)

END

The Animal's Gold

________________

A Play in One Act

For Child Actors Aged 9 to 17

by Gorman John Ruggiero

An Adaption of the Scottish Folk Tale The White Pet

CHARACTERS

(In order of appearance)

NARRATOR

TINA TURKEY

FARMER

FARMER'S WIFE

FIRST CHILD

SECOND CHILD

MOUSEY WOUSEY

CHARLIE HORSE

KITTY CAT

CHICKEN LITTLE

CAPTAIN BEAST

PATCH

PIRATE JOE

THIMBLE THE THIEF

Story line: A group of animals join together to thwart a vicious Band of Thieves.

Moral of the story: Unity under adversity promotes safety and positive outcomes.

Running time: 34 minutes.

Scene 1

SETTING: Early morning. A barnyard with a small, low post fence.

AT RISE: Scottish music fades in and then fades out just before Tina Turkey speaks. Tina Turkey is scratching in the dirt happily. The Narrator enters and begins to speak.

Narrator

Once upon a tine there was a Turkey named Tina. She was a happy turkey with beautiful feathers that she liked to show off. Summer was coming, and early one morning, as Tina danced and pranced about the barnyard, she heard the Farmer's voice. The Farmer, who owned Tina, was talking to his Wife, and this is what he said:

Farmer's voice

(off)

We must kill Tina Turkey and eat her for dinner tonight! YA-A-AHH-UMMMMY!

Farmer's WifE

(off)

That is a good idea, husband, and I'll make a nice gravy and some apple bread, and we'll stuff that turkey and roast her in the oven!

farmer

That's a good wife! I'll go start the fire now!

first child

No, Daddy, no! Tina is our friend! We can't eat her for dinner!

second child

That's right, Mother! We can't eat our friend Tina