Memorial Bot

By Benjamin Wrax

Can you bear to learn about the troubled past and all the secrets of your dead lover by bringing them back to life in the virtual realm? Is the metaverse the best place to find love beyond the grave?
Malcolm, a young Londoner, is forced to revisit the past after the mysterious suicide of his ex-girlfriend Leonora when he sets up a memorial bot to recreate her as a virtual being to heal his grief. Her past, as it turns out, is a lot more troubled and much darker than expected. Malcolm falls in love again with Leonora's virtual persona. He is a good guy at heart but in his naivety and desperation, he will do everything to keep Leonora, even if this turns him into an accessory to murder.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clink Street Publishing
• Release date: Nov 28, 2023
• ISBN: 9781915785213

Benjamin Wrax

This is the debut novel by Benjamin Wrax.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Malcolm could not get the images from the funeral out of his mind. They kept coming back flooding into his consciousness. He saw the flowers falling onto the coffin deep inside the pit that had become the final resting place for Leonora. Loose soil was sprinkled on top of her coffin. The flow of these vivid images seemed to be stretched out as if his memories were running back in slow motion. There came the digger driver who hastily filled the grave with soil. The smell of diesel replaced the earthy odour of the freshly dug grave and the fruity smell of the flowers, and even the lingering smell of heavy perfume was now barely noticeable. The industrial perfection with which the digger driver carried out his work, fast and efficiently, while just waiting to move on to the next plot made the scene look so ordinary. As if nobody could wait for Leonora to vanish forever. Business as usual. Not so for Malcolm.

The last time he had seen Leonora was about eight weeks ago. That’s when they had broken up. Now she was gone. Gone forever. All of Malcolm’s senses reverberated with an intense pain like he had never felt before. His eyes felt wet but he could not really cry. He was trying to fight back the pain. As soon as the grave was fully covered with soil the digger driver drove away to the next place. Malcolm felt an unsettling sense of emptiness.

He stared at the computer screen waiting for a response from the search engine. Was this the right website? He knew there were tons of memorial websites on the web. This one was meant to be special. One that went deeper than any of the others. Finally, it appeared on the screen.

There was the usual blob about keeping memories of your loved ones, preserving shared moments, having an online presence that does not fade after death. Nothing new here after all. Malcolm felt a sense of disappointment. He scrolled down the page, further down and a bit further.

Now, here he saw an interesting line:

This website allows you to create a deep profile of your loved one. You can share and cherish your most intimate memories even those you thought were long forgotten and robbed forever from your mind.

Malcolm felt this sounded a bit pathetic but was intrigued. He wondered, how on earth could long-forgotten memories be rescued from the claws of oblivion? Was this even possible or just the usual overblown marketing hype?

His thoughts returned to the funeral. Nothing about it had felt real. Katherine, his workmate, had explained the stages of grief to him. At the beginning you feel numb and in denial. You can’t get your head round accepting that you have lost someone, so dear and precious, so much alive when you last saw them. You believe the person you miss so much is still with you, somewhere and somehow. You feel that every second you are going to bump into them again, as if they have just gone on a journey and will return any time soon.

Katherine had been talking incessantly. She mentioned that she had lost her uncle and an aunt. She said she knew exactly how it felt to lose someone you love dearly. Malcolm was not exactly sure how much Katherine had loved her uncle and aunt. Perhaps, she had just been trying to sound important. She took every opportunity to be close to Malcolm and to comfort him. Her, Leonora and Malcolm had all been good friends at work. Katherine’s default mode was cheeriness and she did her best to comfort him. Underneath her chatty and upbeat surface, he could sense that she was struggling with the loss of Leonora – but perhaps not quite as much as he did.

The funeral procession had been even more bizarre. Ernest, his brother, one of the coffin bearers, had sprained his ankle the day before. For some strange reason he had decided to gather some friends to play a game of five-a-side football just before the funeral. Whatever had driven him was not entirely clear to Malcolm. His brother did not normally play football. He did not even like football particularly. Yet one of his mates had talked him into a quick game.

On the way to its grave the coffin whipped up and down like a seesaw. Each wobble was accompanied by a faint curse and a few grunting noises from a limping Ernest who was obviously in quite a lot of pain. The procession had not been under a good star. The grave had been hastily dug out mere minutes before the funeral procession arrived. Apparently one gravedigger had been on the sick and the other had overslept. The sleepy one was now working against the clock. To make matters worse, the funeral procession was hampered by a sudden torrential downpour of rain. Perhaps, Malcolm mused, this was because Leonora was not really meant to be dead. Malcolm tried to convince himself that this was nature’s way of protesting against the injustice of her early death. But then again, Malcolm was anything but superstitious. He had to admit to himself that it was easy to read meanings into coincidences, and that sometimes things just go wrong or seem strange and unexplained. The rain went as quickly as it had come and gave way to a warm afternoon sun. Malcolm deeply inhaled the musty smell of moist soil that filled the air. Then, he peered into a wonderful bright rainbow that was now clearly visible across the horizon. It had been a long time since he had seen one that big and bright. A rainbow, which appeared almost painted, and he could not help to feel a sense of wonder. Rainbows usually represent hope. Malcolm knew this but he felt anything but hopeful.

The bluish light from his monitor illuminated Malcolm’s face. The weather outside was dark and gloomy, but he had not bothered to turn on any light inside his tiny flat. He looked again at the screen. He had many regrets and felt a deep guilt which he could not really put into words. Yet, he knew this was his chance to do something positive. Malcolm had begun to create an elaborate online profile for Leonora.

At the funeral, Katherine had explained to Malcolm that there was a website where one could create an avatar for a loved one. Katherine had just read a blog about online memorials and enthusiastically mentioned it to Malcolm.

You know, Malcolm, she said, this will help you to overcome your grief. You can talk to her whenever you want. Is that not cool? I know you were so in love with Leonora so I guess this will help you.

She sounded quite emotional when she said this and swallowed twice.

Katherine, as a matter of fact, had secretly had a crush on Malcolm for a long time. The three of them had all been working for the same company and on numerous occasions had all hung out together for a drink after work. There was a trendy little coffee shop just outside their workplace, literally a stone’s throw from the office. Despite its cool modern interior and high ambitions, this coffee shop offered affordable coffees, cakes, sandwiches and even alcoholic drinks. Its slightly hidden location away from the main road meant it could not as easily ramp up its prices as did its competitors on the high street. All of this added to its charm for Malcolm and his colleagues.

Another great advantage was that Adam, their boss, would rarely come along. So everyone had a chance to talk about the things they really did not want Adam to hear. He was known for his tough and cold persona and his lack of patience. He did not tolerate any form of dissent or criticism. One was either with Adam or against him. Over the years, many of his employees had left his company due to this. Here in this little café his office staff felt safe and secure, and everyone took turns to poke some fun at him. This was not too difficult, as Adam rarely showed a sense of humour and took everything at face value.

Once an employee had jokingly suggested he borrow Adam’s Berlinetta for a quick spin on his birthday. When he mentioned that he was thinking of testing its capabilities in a mud-racing competition Adam went berserk.

What a bloody stupid idea, Adam fumed. This isn’t the type of car any serious person would use for mud racing! Can you imagine the damage it would do to the suspension?

The employee did not see much point in explaining to Adam that this was actually not a serious proposition and kept a straight face.

But what if the mud racer isn’t a serious person in any shape or form? What if he’s barking mad?

He earned a bedazzled look from Adam who lacked any sense of humour.

Yes, that’s exactly what I meant… Adam added slowly. Clearly, he would be barking mad.

This had become a bit of a running joke and everyone took it in turns to recreate the dialogue.

When it was Leonora’s turn to ask the ‘What if he is barking mad?’ question, she broke out in a laughing fit, choked on her coffee and nearly spat it out over everyone. It was a hilarious situation.

Malcolm had not been back to the coffee shop for a while. Not since her passing.

He sat in in front of his computer screen. He could not help it his mind drifting back to the funeral every so often. Funerals mark an endpoint in somebody’s life but they also mark the beginning of a new future. A future without that person and perhaps the beginning of a new chapter in someone’s life. Malcolm understood this. His thoughts returned to Katherine. In all fairness, she had never tried to come between him and Leonora, but Malcolm had always had that sense that she was not merely a colleague and more than just a friend. Sometimes, it had felt like a ménage-a-trois, with Leonora and Katherine fighting for Malcolm’s attention.

The funeral had also given Malcolm a chance to talk to Tim, Leonora’s brother, whilst simultaneously avoiding Hector, her posh ex. Tim did not show much in the way of emotion. But, as her brother, Leonora’s untimely death must have had a profound impact on his psyche, Malcolm mused. Malcolm looked at Tim’s face for a brief moment but it was hard to tell how he was feeling or coping. Tim constantly repeated how important Leonora had been to him. He talked of the huge void she had left in his life. His voice sounded monotonous and rehearsed. But this was Tim. Thoughtful but not someone to easily display his inner feelings. Reserved on the outside but in Malcolm’s opinion he was a caring and warm fellow inside.

If Leo were here with us, we would still be a happy family, Tim lamented.

At the time Malcolm had not thought much of Tim’s self-pitying comments – but now he was wondering how much of a happy family they had really been. He had rarely ever seen Tim, Leonora and their mother together. When he did, there had been a curious tension, and Malcolm had noticed how little they were talking to each other. Mostly, if they did ever talk, they were talking over each other. There seemed to be a void he could not fully understand. Usually, it was only at special events like birthdays or Christmas that he had a chance to see them come together as a family. This was the exception to the rule. Mostly, however, it was either Tim with his mother or Leonora and her mum together. Leonora’s dad had abandoned the family when Leonora was still at a young age. She never had a chance to get to know him, and she never managed to track down his whereabouts.

Over the last three months Tim and Malcolm had become good friends. Things had changed but this had also marked the beginning of the time when Malcolm and Leonora had grown distant, leading to their eventual breakup.

It was Tim who got in contact with Malcolm first. He rang him one evening. This was a complete surprise to Malcolm. Tim explained how much he loved his little sister and that he had always taken care of her. He asked Malcolm a few questions about their relationship. He came across as rather charming and thoughtful. Tim, it would appear, was very protective of Leonora, his little sister, as he had always referred to her. Malcolm somewhat naively accepted this at face value but never really questioned the fact that Tim and Leonora rarely met and, when they did, exchanged few if any words. As far as Tim was concerned, he was just a very busy person. He usually had a convincing excuse for not attending a family event, and whenever Leonora was missing from a party or an event he came up with a quick explanation.

I think Leonora is really happy she has met you. Now that you are part of the family, we should do a lot more together.

These were the things Tim would say. Not that Malcolm really needed this kind of approval. But it was reassuring that her brother was so easy-going and that he, Malcolm, fitted in so well and had been accepted into the family. Within a short space of time, he and Tim became really good friends and did a lot of things together.

They went to quite a few gigs as they shared a common interest in music. Malcolm had an eclectic taste in music. He loved R&B, Hip Hop, Grime and Afrobeat but also Heavy Rock and Indie bands. He would never sniff at an opportunity to watch a gig with an upcoming band. However, their taste in music was not always perfectly aligned. Tim was much less likely to agree on an R&B or Hip Hop act. After a short while of arguing they would usually settle on a new rather obscure Indie act that Tim had discovered. Malcolm had to admit that Tim was pretty good at spotting exciting new acts – new acts that would often become successful bands filling stadiums and selling millions of songs. Malcolm could never quite figure out how Tim managed to spot future talent so consistently, although Tim had once mentioned some insider contacts in the music industry.

There was, however, one thing Malcolm did not really understand. For some reason Leonora resented Malcolm’s new friendship with her brother. To Malcolm it appeared there was an element of envy as Tim had been a high-flier in every respect, and he also seemed to be his mother’s favourite child. She had praised him on countless occasions.

Tim’s achieved so much. Nobody in our family before him ever got that far… I love Tim. He always knew what he wanted out of life and look where he is now!

She never said anything like this about Leonora. Not once in a blue moon.

Malcolm thought this was just normal sibling rivalry, and Tim happened to be the more successful of the pair. Her answers were usually evasive whenever he asked her about the relationship with her brother.

What can I tell you about my brother? she would say with a shoulder shrug. You’ve met him and that’s it.

She rolled her eyes in an annoyed manner.

She said she disliked his busy work schedules and that he was never there for anyone.

Slowly, Malcolm and Leonora grew apart. One day they had a big argument. He clearly remembered the day Leonora suddenly rang. It was clear that she wanted to meet up and talk things over.

Malcolm, you still love me?

Yes, of course.

So why don’t we meet tonight. We could eat in for a change? she suggested.

Would you like me to cook for us?

I’m really excited, she added. I can’t wait to see you again.

I will treat you to a new recipe.

Malcolm was every inch a foodie. He loved cooking with friends, trying out new recipes and dining at new restaurants. It was not unusual for him to invite some friends and treat them to new culinary experiences. He also loved it when others treated him to their tastebud challenges, but he had not expected Leonora’s phone call, and as much as he wanted to see her again and make up, he had already agreed to meet Tim at their favourite pub. Not only this, he had invited a few friends over to join them there, and a live band would be playing. This pub was special and many previously unknown bands had started their journey to greatness from there.

"I’m sorry, we can’t be eat in,