Short Orders

By Steve Dodge

A man loses his bionic head. The new neighbors appear to have no bodies. A shape-shifting boss. Vast herds of cats. This eclectic mix of short stories, flash fiction, humor, and satire is designed to tickle the funny bone and provide a bit of food for thought.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Steve Dodge
• Release date: Sep 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9788988114414

Steve Dodge

Steve Dodge is the author of Short Orders, a compilation of short stories, flash fiction and humor. He lives in Portland, Oregon.

Book preview

Short Orders

Short Stories

Steve Dodge

Short Orders

Short order (noun): A meal from a restaurant, often breakfast, which is prepared and served quickly. (Adjective): Something that is completed quickly.

To my family and friends, and to the teachers at West Linn High School, West Linn, Oregon, 1970-74

Short Orders

Copyright © 2023 by Steve Dodge

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission.

Message in a Bottle Press

Portland, Oregon

www.stevedodgewriter.com

Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are from the author’s strange imagination. Locales and public names are occasionally used for background. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

Short Orders/ Steve Dodge -- 1st ed.

ISBN: 978-8-98811441-4-4

Library of Congress Control Number 2023906811

Cover Photo by Mark Reid. Cover Design by Steve Dodge

Interior design by Jesse Gordon, A Darned Good Book

Menu

This Just In

The Sun Conspiracy

One Icy Morning at the Office

The New Neighbors

The Thing in the Kitchen

Holmes Takes a Pee

I Just Lost My Head

Cat Gangs

The Accident

And Then There Was One

Regrooving

The Patrol

The Stoplight

Jimi Hendrix Pest Control Co.

Then Suddenly . . .

Taking Flight

The Wading Pool

The Other Marx Brothers

The Fireplace

Acknowledgements

Notes on the Text

About the Author

This Just In

Bugs Crash

INSECTICIDE, Calif. (Almost Profound News) — A model Boeing 747 jetliner crashed off the mantelpiece of a local residence early today, killing 20 flies and the spider crew.

A spokesbug at Landfill Memorial Airport said the crash occurred when the pilot, a spider, began attacking the passengers, who were mostly flies from Flydonia. Ten other flies, several ants, and a cockroach stowaway survived the crash. No bees were on board.

The Sun Conspiracy

Despite persistent media reports, the sun will not come up tomorrow, nor will it come up the following day. Now it can be told that there really is no sun.

It’s all an elaborate theater set with lots of powerful lights. They have told us there was a sun, but alas,