Wages Of Sin

By Shelly Taylor

Have you ever wished you could run away to a tropical island and escape from all of your problems? In Shelly Taylor’s Wages of Sin, Penny did just that. Stalked by a notorious gang, Penny takes a suggestion from a T-shirt and buys a one way ticket to Maui. She is immediately adopted by a cave dwelling, pot growing Viet Nam vet. From hippies to druggies to restaurateurs; Penny spends years flopping to and fro from the frying pan to the fire. Eventually she settles into a seemingly safe routine of work and friendships. One can’t run away forever, though. Sudden events bring the past reeling back full force. A choice must be made. Which way will she go?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 10, 2006
• ISBN: 9781467807722

Shelly Taylor

Shelly Taylor was born in Anchorage Alaska. Her mother was the teen-aged party animal daughter of old time homesteaders. Shelly grew up on moose meat, caribou, reindeer sausage, and smoked salmon. She began her adult life at an early age. She’s been called ‘wild and crazy’ by friend and foe, and her misadventures have taken her to the farthest reaches of the globe. Still somewhat of a beach bum; Shelly works odd jobs to pay for her writing career. Wages of Sin is based on true events. A sequel is following. Stay tuned. XXOO

Book preview

PART ONE

THINGS WAITRESSES HATE

CHAPTER ONE

An athletic woman ran through a South Maui neighborhood. She was wearing flip-flop slippers, surfer shorts and a bikini top. The gargantuan tropical foliage was lush in each yard, but nearly every house was condemn-ably rundown and graced by an eyesore pile of rust covered junk cars and appliances. Chickens scattered as the woman ran by. She ran into the driveway of a small cottage. It was the typical use of space in a resort town: main house in back, big apartment on top, small apartment downstairs, cottage in front. The woman rested on her knees, breathing deeply, then bounded up the three wooden steps to the sliding glass door. It was locked.

Shit!

She ran around to the side of the cottage and looked up at a small window. It was too high. She could just slap the bottom of the screen. She looked into the garage of the main house. A classic red 1966 Oldsmobile Cutlass was up on jack stands. The area was strewn with greasy tools. She looked for something. There; a five-gallon plaster bucket. She ran to the garage. The bucket was full of greasy rags. She dumped them on the garage floor and ran back to the window. She turned the bucket upside down and stood on it. The screen came out easily.

Tchhh… Welcome burglars, one and all.

She leaned the screen against the giant Dracaena plant which separated her tiny yard from the driveway to the main house and stepped back up on the bucket. With great effort, she pulled herself up and squeezed through the small window. Palms down on the toilet seat, she fell in knee by knee. As soon as she was upright, she unlocked and threw open the front door, running back to the bathroom window. She grabbed the screen and stepped back up on the bucket. The screen resisted replacement. The bucket tilted and she fell, kinking the screen in the process.

Shit! she exclaimed with greater exasperation. She ran back to the garage with the bucket and threw the rags back in. She glanced into the Cutlass. It was fully gutted on the inside; no seats, no stereo, no cover on the glove box. As she sprinted back, two cats came running from different directions, meowing loudly.

Hello, babies! Gee, I wonder what you want. As she spoke, she grabbed the plate off the porch-crusted with leftover chow-and banged it on the deck to knock off the ants. The cats crowded in as she slid open the door.

One half of the room was completely empty. There were fresh impressions in the carpet. Obviously; a large piece of furniture had recently been removed. A pile of pillows and an old sticker-covered trunk were littered with what must have been cluttering the clean half of the room before the furniture was removed.

Next to that was a stack of bills with an old code-a-phone set on top of it like a paperweight. The red light was flashing. Three dirty coffee mugs were pushed up against the wall-two of them had empty beer bottles stuck inside them. The kitchen sink was full and the carpet had a top layer of cat hair and sand.

She reached into a cupboard, and grabbed a mostly empty bag of cat chow. She dumped the contents onto the crusty plate. All that came out were crumbs and a couple of panicked cock roaches.

I’m sorry, babies. I promise I WILL have the chow tonight. They followed the plate out. She closed the sliding glass door behind them, then sat on the pile of pillows and pressed the message button…

First message-male caller: Penny…? Penny, are you there…? Please pick up. I’m sorry about today. I would have given you a ride…

She slammed her finger down on the ERASE button, Fuck you!

Second message-different male caller: Hi, Penny. It’s me. You left your pack in my car last night…

Thank God! Penny exclaimed, smacking her self in the head.

…and I’m planning to come down today. If you aren’t home, I’ll just bring it by the restaurant. Hope I see you then.

Third message-yet another male caller: Hey, Pen… It’s Roy. I need you to come in early today. Anna Mei had another attack. She’s back in the hospital. Forrest is on the line by himself and I’m running the register. Everything’s going nuts down here. PLEASE call me as soon as you get this message.

Penny yelled at the machine, Brah! I’m already late for on time!

She stomped into her bedroom-which was in worse disarray than the living room. She dug through a heap of unfolded laundry piled on one side of her unmade bed. She pulled out a wrinkly tie-dyed, tank top. The artwork in the center was topped with a cloud like collage of classic long-dead artists: Jimi Hendrix… Janice Joplin… Jim Morrison… John Lennon…etc… The bottom half of the image was an Amanita Mascaras surrounded by flowers, with a caterpillar sitting on top of it smoking a hookah. The smoke coming from the hookah formed a banner across the monument clouds, which spelled: THE PURPLE HAZE CAFÉ. She pulled it on and made for the door.

Penny tried to block the cats from coming in, but the tabby jumped over her leg and dashed to the top of the cupboard above the fridge. She was evidently NOT stoked with the fare du jour.

Kitty, No! Kitty, come down!

She asked repeatedly, but she had to climb up on the counter to get the cat down.

Penny’s face was red and she breathed heavily as she opened the front door of The Purple Haze. Immediately, she was struck by a wave of heat, chaos and clatter. ‘Workingman’s Dead’ was barely heard above the noise. Roy was at the cash register. He was wearing a silk tie-dyed shirt, and purple drawstring pants. His waist long hair was up in a woman’s clip. He looked frazzled.

Penny opened her arms wide, Your savior has arrived.

Thank God! Roy exclaimed. He started to step away from the register, but Penny held up her hand, Brah, I gotta go punch in and get the night bank. I’ll be right back.

No! Roy exclaimed frantically, The bank’s already in the drawer. I’ll punch you in.

Penny was beet red after running all the way, but, Uh…OK, she complied. They traded places. She quickly assumed the ringing up and cashing out of guest checks, as the waitresses brought them up with hasty greetings. The tall blonde yelled, Penny, all the salad dressings are empty! Without looking up, Penny yelled, I’ll get right on it. Roy circled the room one time, with the water and iced tea pitchers, before utterly disappearing.

Roy was a handsome man: Tall and physically fit, with a face and voice like Harrison Ford-and long graying blond hair. He and his wife Sally-a short brunette-and their two grown children, had bought the place with the money they made pulling off one of the mother lodes of all marijuana crops. The Purple Haze was Roy’s baby. The whole restaurant was decked out like a sixties acid tripper’s bedroom; complete with black light posters, lava lamps, a clock with a tie dyed face, and a valuable collection of original rock and roll posters-some signed by the artists-and all collected in their ‘touring’ days.

As the frenzied lunch rush died out, the slow pre dinner lull ensued. Penny had the counter in order and was able to catch up on some of her other duties. While unloading six packs from the liquor cage, she noticed her co-worker, Katie-another slender, attractive blonde-handing a check presenter to a couple with two unruly toddlers. The table top was a mish-mosh of spaghetti, soggy chunks of garlic bread, and sugar-which had been dumped out of the packets and finger painted through. Every water glass was a disgusting pool of the same, and a halo of the debris surrounded the table. While the man absently searched for his wallet, the woman was busy wiping the hands and faces of her children with moist towelettes, and dropping the soiled ones on top of the mess. Without looking up, she spoke in a smug monotone, Sorry about the mess.

Oh, that’s OK. We’re used to kids around here, Katie replied, while exchanging eye-rolling glances with Penny, unnoticed by the parents. The harried father handed back the check presenter, Here; keep the change.

Thank you! Katie brightened… Then she opened the folder. Her face dropped. She mimicked, Here; keep the change… here; keep the change.

Lemme see, Penny reached for the check presenter. The check was $18.39. The man had left $21.00.

Penny shook her head, Yep. When they tell you to keep the change, you know that’s all you’re getting.

Look at that table! Katie complained.

At least they weren’t letting their kids run all around the restaurant, Penny consoled.

They were earlier, Katie grumbled.

Penny commiserated, Tchhh… What are we, their babysitters? Well check it out bitch: babysitters make a lot more than waitresses these days, so… Ah, speakin’ of kids; here comes yours.

Katie’s son entered the restaurant. He was a typical thirteen-year-old: Skateboard, baggy pants, spiked hairdo… and a Jackson chameleon riding on his shoulder.

Hi, Nick! You mean that thing’s still alive? Penny asked.

He hunts for it! Katie shivered, I hate that thing. When I look into its eyes, I know it wants to eat me-If only I were smaller. Penny laughed. Katie turned to her son, How’s the best boy in the whole wide world? Go sit over there and eat my sandwich. I’m almost done. She turned to Penny, By the way, that was my last check."

You got it, baby, Penny cashed out the check, then processed Katie’s credit-card tip report. Her eyes widened, Wow! Ninety-seven dollars? Had a busy day, did we?

Katie began to describe it, It was insane…

Did you see Roy? Penny interrupted, He wouldn’t even let me go punch in. Jeez, I really wanted to step into the walk in for a sec. I ran all the way here.

Katie agreed, I thought he was going to have a nervous breakdown. Where were you?

Penny defended, Hey, I do have a life. Not that it’s a great one. Remember Daniel’s friend, Joey? The guy with the tattoos and the long blond hair-who just shaved it off? You guys met at the pool party before we moved from the condo-when Anna Mei brought her karaoke machine? Remember? …Joey?

Oh, yeah, Katie recalled.

Penny continued, We ran into each other this morning. I was locking up my bike, at Star Market, when he came walking out of the store. He asked me if I wanted to cruise down to Sugar Beach for a smoke. Instead, since it was early, we cruised out to Hookipa overlook. Then, all of the sudden, he starts hittin’ on me…

Penny was sitting on the passenger side of a rusty late model Datsun pick-up. Her right foot was up in the window. The driver was good-looking, with big muscles, tattooed arms, and a shaved head. The two took in the view of a hundred colorful wind sails bouncing on the water. Joey toked off a crutch and passed it to Penny, tapping on her arm.

Naw, that’s enough for me… I gotta take up that sport, Penny said, her attention still on the wind surfers, that looks like such a blast…and they’re all so buffed out.

Joey stashed the roach in his ashtray. He reached over and squeezed Penny’s arm, You’re pretty buffed out.

Thanks, Penny replied.

But Joey didn’t let go, Why are you way over there? Come closer. I don’t bite, you know. He tugged a little.

Penny resisted, Joey! I’m comfortable... Besides, I thought you and Daniel were good friends.

Joey let go, Yeah, but you guys have been pau for a while now. Don’t I get a turn?

A turn? You are kidding, right?

Why? What’s wrong with me?

Nothing. You just caught me off-guard.

Joey persisted, So I have a chance? How about a kiss?

Penny dropped her head against the window and rolled her eyes, Brah, all I want to do is go back to Kihei. I gotta go to work.

What about my kiss?

Penny was still smiling. She gave his arm an affectionate slug, What kiss? C’mon, let’s go.

Joey stretched his hand along the ridge of the back seat, to the nape of her neck. Gripping, he turned her face toward him forcibly, while moving himself closer, One kiss…

Penny slammed Joey in the chest with her left fist. He let go. She opened the door and got out. A tourist car was just leaving. Penny stopped them. She leaned into the passenger window. Two clean-cut men smiled up at her. The passenger was holding a map.

Are you guys by any chance going to Kihei? Penny asked.

The driver spoke broken English with a German accent, Vas is Kihei? Is das Makena?

Yes… Yes, I can show you how to get to Makena.

The passenger stepped out and moved the seat forward, so Penny could step in. Joey watched mouth agape…

…So, I had them drop me off at Star Market so I could pick up my bike, and that’s when I realized I didn’t have my pack.

Oh, no! You left it in Joey’s truck?

No, thank God. I thought I had, but I just found out I left it in this other guy’s car last night.

"Hooker! This guy last night? That guy this morning?"

Penny confided, Ever since me and Daniel split up, they’ve been coming out of the woodwork-mostly Daniel’s friends.

Awww…poor Penny; all the boys are in love with her, Katie teased.

Not even! I must look like the animal shelter, ’cuz they’re all dogs, and they haven’t got one job between them.

Joey’s no dog, Katie drooled.

Katie’s son, Nick, was picking at Katie’s sandwich impatiently, Mommm!

Katie turned to Nick, I’ll be right there. Turning back to Penny, "Now let me tell you about our day. First; Anna Mei started fainting…right at the beginning of the breakfast rush. People were lined up out the door, but Anna Mei wouldn’t call 911, because ambulance service is not covered by our insurance. So Maria drove her… Which means: We had Forrest alone on the line, and Roy alone on the register. Roy told a customer to ‘fuck off’ today!"

Penny gaped, No way!

Katie nodded, Way… I mean; naturally under the circumstances, the service was shitty. So, this old guy in his seventies got all bitter and wanted to see the manager. Up walks Roy. The old guy says, ‘YOU’RE the manager?’ Roy says, ‘I’m the owner.’ So, the old man says, ‘YOU! You’re nothing but a God damned hippy!

Oh my God! That must have really pissed Roy off.

He wouldn’t even let the guy finish eating, Katie confirmed.

God, I wish I could’ve seen that.

And, of course, Forrest had to bitch all day, Katie began to mimic, "’No special instructions! Stop slamming me! Don’t hang up so many tickets at once!’ Well, what’s the alternative? Throw them in the trash? Stash them ’til later? That’s why they have a business; ’cuz they’re busy! As soon as Jason got here, Forrest cut his little finger, and had to go home."

Penny rolled her eyes, Tchhh. Guaranteed he calls in sick tomorrow. Cause: Infected finger.

Katie continued, So, then Jason was on the line all alone…and he’s more pissed off than anybody, ’cuz he had to work through his weekend.

Penny interrupted, Dexter’s still a no show?

Yep.

I wish somebody could tell me why he still works here.

Shhh… Katie warned, …here comes Kyra.

Mommmm… Nick whined.

I’m coming! Katie called.

Kyra and Forrest were Roy and Sally’s kids. Tall and beautiful with long naturally blonde hair, Kyra had been busy picking up the late lunch stragglers. Joni, her replacement, arrived. Joni was in her late thirties, good looking and hot to trot, Hi, girls! she called.

Hi, Joni! all responded.

Thirteen and twenty-two are new. Are you ready? Kyra asked.

Yes, I am. Just let me go punch in.

OK then, this is my last check, Kyra said, handing Penny a check presenter.

Coming right up, Penny answered, taking the book.

Katie sat down with her son and counted her money. Penny repeated the procedure of printing reports, and passed the cash and paperwork to Kyra who also sat down to count. As Joni returned from the back, the front door bell jingled. All gawked as Penny greeted the man with sensual familiarity. He was not strikingly handsome, but he had a big bright smile, and a look of confidence. He held out a small colorful bike pack, which Penny took.

Thank you! I must be really spaced out. I didn’t even notice it was gone. I hope you didn’t come all the way down here just to return this.

No. Not just for that. When do you get off, the stranger asked.

About ten thirty, Penny replied.

Want to get together after?

Sure, Penny grinned.

The man gave Penny a raise of the eyebrows and tugged on one of her curls. Penny looked down with a giggle. The man turned and left. Penny turned back to the others, whose eyes were full of questions.

What was that all about? Joni asked, and added with a southern drawl, I hope you all didn’t drive all the way down here for little ol’ me.

Penny laughed.

What was so great about him? Kyra asked.

"Kyra, that man could make you beg," Penny confided.

I doubt it, Kyra responded.

While Kyra was unimpressed, the other girls were still waiting for answers.

Well, his name is Brandon… Penny began.

Get to the juicy stuff. Those two tables are staring at me, Joni cut in.

Penny looked straight at Joni, "We had a liaison last night…of the oral variety. He’s got a…technique."

Jesus, Penny! What if he has herpes? Kyra admonished.

Penny huffed at Kyra, Tchhh… I can’t believe you were raised in a hippy bus.

Why do you think she’s so conservative? Joni reminded.

Nick had finished Katie’s sandwich, and taken a sudden interest in the conversation. Penny noticed, Oh, shit! Sorry, Nick.

Nick answered, I’ve heard all this stuff before.

Nick; go outside and ride your skateboard. I’ll be out in a minute, Katie ordered.

Nooooo…

You heard me! Go!

Nick picked up his skateboard and left, rattling the bells extra hard on the way out. Katie rolled her eyes and turned back to Penny, As you were saying?

The bell rang again. This time, it was a to-go customer. Penny had to help him. Nick saw and re entered the restaurant, looking extremely aggravated. Right behind him was a beautiful, petite, black woman, wearing a Purple Haze T-shirt. She was carrying a gift bag which she handed to Penny. She spoke with a West Indian accent, Happy belated birthday.

Shireen! That was weeks ago, Penny responded.

I know, but, I haven’t seen you, Shireen stated.

Penny nodded, I know. I’m so bummed. We hardly ever get to work together anymore. Penny embraced Shireen, Thank you so much. Penny held up the bag so the other girls could see it. She sang, I got a present, I got a present…

Open it, Katie instructed.

MOM!!!

Nick! Just one more minute, honey; please! Look: I’m all finished. I just want to see what Penny got.

OK, Nick agreed. He ducked out of the circle. Penny’s customer was waiting for his food, so Penny took the bag to the table. The girls oohed and ahhed as Penny pulled out the gorgeous hand-blown orb.

It’s absolutely useless, Shireen apologized.

I love it, Penny disagreed.

Meanwhile, Nick had sneaked up behind his mom. Holding a bottled soda as if it were an erection, he mimicked Penny, singing, I got a present… I got a present…

It took a minute for the girls to look down and see the joke, then burst into blushing laughter.

Nick groaned, Now can we go?

Katie gave in, Yes! We can go. She stood up and handed Penny three envelopes. Kyra also stood and handed Penny three envelopes, I guess I’m finished, too…except for the damned deposit.

Call me later. I want to hear every juicy detail, Katie called to Penny. Nick had already sprinted ahead. He crawled into the passenger window of Katie’s Maui cruiser-because the door was smashed in and bungeed closed to the rear window. Penny immediately reached for her pack and dug out some keys. She unlocked the cabinet below the register and stuffed the six envelopes into a slot in the top of a small metal lock box. She saw Jason’s hand place a steaming to-go box in the kitchen window. She grabbed a bag from under the counter and took it to the window.

There was an argument going on in the kitchen. Jason was fighting with Fran, the dishwasher. Jason was a recent transplant from LA. He was a player posing wanna-be white nigger. He walked, talked, dressed and acted ‘gangsta’ black. He only pulled it off because he was quick-witted and funny-but not to Fran. Fran was ‘tita’; about four and a half feet tall-half Filipino, half Portugee-and ALL attitude-so Jason’s bad boy charms didn’t work on her. She thought he was a joke, because he talked black-like fresh haouli boys trying to speak pigeon. The two were constantly at each other’s throats…

Fuckin’ keep over on your side. I don’t want to hear your mouth in my station, Jason said.

I no like hear your mouth: ‘Fuckin’ wash ‘dis…’ wash ‘dat…’ Fran retorted.

It’s your job, woman.

Fran stiffened, What did you call me?

Are you or are you not the DISH WASHER?

Fran picked up the saucepan in question, Fuckah’…don’t tell me my job. I’ll shove this pan up your ass and kick it.

Tall and silent with his back to the scene, the prep cook continued slicing filets from a long, red block of Ahi.

Crazy bitch! Jason retaliated, I’ll spin your ass into the ground like the Tasmanian Devil!

A door connected the kitchen to the office. Kyra suddenly burst through it, Losers! Knock it off! I told you I’d fire you both the next time you got into a fight!

Jason responded dryly, It appears you’ll have to waive that decision for tonight.

Kyra acknowledged, For tonight… But I do have an ad in the paper… Fran snorted in Jason’s direction. Kyra turned to her, …For both positions.

Fran and Jason turned back to their work areas in angry silence. Penny leaned her head into the kitchen window, Shitty timing, I know; but could you please tell me to night’s special?

Jason looked up, You heard?

Loud and clear… Don’t worry, no one’s in here.

I don’t give a fucking Goddamn! Penny recoiled. Jason looked up, Sorry… It’ll be black pepper crusted Ahi, with wasabi burre-blanc, garnished with julienne scallions and cucumbers drizzled with a sweet ginger-soy vinaigrette. Everything else the same: $16.95.

Wow! $16.95?

We got it cheap tonight. I’m cooking us up a sample right now. Check it out.

Penny leaned in a little further; resting her eyes on the block of Ahi Michael was carving. Fuck that! I want sashimi.

What a coincidence. It just so happens, all employee snacks are on the house tonight. Wanna see to that, Michael?

The prep cook looked up with a nod of agreement. Michael was quite handsome-in a horror movie kind of way. Tall and thin with high cheek hones and deep-set eyes of jelly-bean black. He didn’t talk much. He communicated mostly with the occasional knowing glance.

A hog fired up outside. Penny looked. Roy nodded and waved, as he backed away on his metallic purple and gold-leaf trimmed Sportster. Penny waved a shaka back at him. In her peripheral vision she noticed a clean-cut muscle bound man approaching from the parking lot, wearing nothing but Speedos and reef walkers. Talking to no one, she bitched, Fuck! Here comes Simon, the food cop. The door opened. Penny met him at the counter, Hello, Simon.

What’s the fresh fish? He asked, without greeting or glance.

What? No foreplay?

I’m in a hurry.

The fish is Ahi, Penny stated.

How is it prepared?

Penny clenched and rolled her eyes. He never ordered it, but he always made her describe it: Seared; with wasabi burre-blanc, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, and a small salad: $16.95.

Hmmm… I’ll just have my usual.

Plain broiled? Eighty-six the starch—veggies instead, and an extra side of veggies? Right…?

Yes. I’ll take two of those…and don’t chintz out on the veggies tonight.

Brah… I’m not the cook.

Simon finally graced her with a look in the eyes, Like I said; I’m in a hurry.

Penny jerked the top copy off of the ticket and hung it in the window. She cashed out Simon’s check in indignant silence and purposefully held out his change-right over the tip jar-which he just as purposefully ignored.

Ian, the bus boy, had just arrived. Like all the young men in this surfers’ paradise, his hair was buzzed down to a quarter inch. He was wearing hip-hop jeans, a chain wallet, and the house uniform: A tie-dyed, Purple Haze T-shirt. He went straight to work filling and serving water glasses. Jason called to Penny, You’re up.

Thank you! She called back. She grabbed a couple of brown bags on the way to the window. She carefully packed Simon’s order, Fat-free Italian, right?

Yesss, He affirmed impatiently.

Penny capped the two small containers and placed them in one of the bags. She placed the two bags on the counter, There you go.

Immediately and with flair, Simon removed all six boxes and opened them, This is exactly what I’m talking about! I paid $35.00 for fish and vegetables, and I want more vegetables. There’s hardly even any broccoli in here. I want more broccoli. I’ll wait.

Penny’s eyes narrowed, Man! It’s not ‘name your price’ day! There’s nothing wrong with those portions!

Indeed; they were generous. There were two large sized to-go boxes full of steamed veggies. However, as it happened; the house was out of broccoli. Meanwhile, the restaurant was filling up with early birds. Penny looked around anxiously.

I want more broccoli. Make it happen, Simon demanded.

Penny looked him over…Speedos and reef walkers-and he obviously waxed…and yet…

No, Simon. Not tonight… Can’t you see how busy we are? Look at all the tickets on the line. Look at all of the other people I should be helping. Your food is getting cold already. You should go. Penny broke eye contact and turned away.

Simon raised his voice, I’m not finished. I don’t like your attitude. What ever happened to ‘the customer’s always right?’?

Ha! What happened? I’ll tell you what happened: some con artist made it up-to hassle me and scam free food.

Simon was speechless-and looked outraged.

Well, isn’t this where we always go? Penny continued, You get pissed off and leave with free food?

It was difficult, but she resisted a giggle. Her eyes kept wandering down to his Speedos. Simon threw up both hands effeminately, I don’t even want to eat this now. Just give me a refund… And when I’m finished complaining about you…

I’ll never work in this town again? Tchhh… Penny opened the register and pulled out $35.00. She slapped it on the counter. With exaggeration, she pulled the trash can out from under the counter and swept the two nearest to-go boxes-the salads-into it.

You mean you’re going to throw that away…? I’m taking it.

Penny rolled her eyes, What a shocker.

Simon brazenly repacked the food and left. Penny turned around, huffing, and nearly smacked into Shireen. Having caught the last few minutes of the conversation, Shireen was staring in disbelief, "You are going to get fired!"

It would be the happiest day of my life. That guy is such a fag. And I don’t even call gay people fags.

Ian had just walked up to the counter. He handed Penny a check presenter, What guy? He asked.

That muscle-bound guy in the Speedos, with no sign of a dick, Penny answered.

Ian laughed, Oh, that guy.

Can you believe that shit? What does he do? Flatten it out, and tuck it in…? Tchhh…, Penny flicked the tip jar, And he’s never left a tip.

You’re awful! Shireen exclaimed, blushing.

Penny turned to her, Oh… you like him?

No! I hate waiting on him. He complains so much, he always gets something for free.

Or everything, Penny snarled.

Joni walked up. Ian started to leave. Joni stopped him, Was that from table six?

Yeah, Ian continued on. Joni turned to Penny, What did he leave me?

Penny opened the folder, Hmmm…three and change.

What?! He said everything was great!

Sounds like he gave you the verbal tip, Penny said.

But he was flirting with me, Joni complained.

Way to impress a waitress, Penny commented.

But he was so cute.

Penny rolled her eyes, Tchhh.

You don’t think he was cute?

According to Penny; cheapness cancels out cuteness, Shireen piped in.

That’s right. Eventually or sooner that cheapness trickles down to you. I had a cheap man once. You know what he used to say? ‘You don’t need that.’ …At the grocery store; ‘You don’t need that.’ …At the clothing store; ‘You don’t need that.’ In BED; …‘You don’t need that.’ You see: cheapness is a form of laziness… And it affects every aspect of life… If I go out with a dude who cheaps out on the waitress; I never go out with him again. I don’t care how cute he is. You see; a person who observes a level of generosity in his everyday dealings will deal generously with you.

Joni stiffened, Thank you, Dr. Ruth. I had forgotten you’re an authority on relationships. Or…is this one of those ‘them that can’t do teach’ things?

Shireen backed away nervously, I’m outta’ here.

Penny frowned, What do mean?

Joni clarified, I mean: Look at the men you’ve chosen. You said it yourself; they all have three things in common: They can’t hold a job, they can’t tell the truth, and they can’t be faithful.

Daniel was faithful, Penny countered.

One out of three… Besides, isn’t he the one you threw out for no apparent reason?

I had my reasons. I supported him for a year. The sex was never that great…

Joni groaned, You sound just like a damn man.

"Yeah…? Well, men made a man out of me. I’m not lucky in love. My first love was a Hell’s Angel. I’m what’s left. I came to Maui to escape from him. And the sickest shit of all: I think about him every day. Any dull moment night or day, in he creeps."

Joni dropped her head, Yes, yes… That was kind of a long time ago, don’t you think? then she looked past, distracted, Didn’t Dexter call in sick today?

Penny turned around. The beautiful Polynesian-Black man was shirtless, wearing only sunglasses, surfer shorts and thin worn flip-flops. He entered…

Hi, Dex, Joni greeted. Then she turned back to Penny, I gotta go, anyway. My salads are in the window.

Penny made no attempt to conceal her annoyed surprise.

Something wrong? Dexter asked.

Yeah, Dexter… What are you doing here? I thought you were sick.

I am sick. I just came to pick up my tips.

A customer came in and walked straight to the counter. Penny reached under the counter and into her bag. She pulled out a key chain, Yeah, well, don’t let Jason see you. He’s back there, cursing your name. It’s the one with the purple ring. She turned her attention to the customer, Hi. What can I do for you?

Just two large coffees please, the customer replied.

Penny moved down to the coffee station, Cream?

Dexter unlocked the cabinet.

Ya… You better give me a few of those things.

By the time Penny got back to the front, Dexter was already out the door, calling behind him, The keys are on the counter.

Dexter threw several envelopes on the passenger seat of his car. He pulled out and drove to the remotest area of the shopping center’s parking lot. He looked around carefully, before focusing on the stack of envelopes. They all had names written on them: Fran, Forrest, Anna Mei, etc. He ripped each one open and filed the money-which was mostly ones-by denomination. After counting the money, he muttered, Jus enough.