The Chameleon Project: A Texas Romantic Comedy

By Lu Ann Long

Lucy Randall is a chameleon—changing her personality to whatever her latest boyfriend wants her to be. Punk rocker. Life-size anime. Nudist. The list goes on.

  When Lucy's best friend, Alec McDermott, has had enough, he dares Lucy to stop dating for one month and 'find' herself. Lucy agrees, only to have her sisters rope her into spending a week at a dude ranch with sexy cowboy Tanner Harris. Knowing she already wants to cowgirl up, Lucy drags her roommate Gen, Alec, and Gen's six-month-old Shih Tzu, Randy, along to the dude ranch as a support team.

  Will Lucy control her inner chameleon, or will she Annie Oakley all over Tanner? Will she come to see Alec as more than her best friend, maybe even a boyfriend? Will she survive being the flaming display at a campfire, thrown from a horse, and a snake bite?

  And the biggest question—will Lucy Randall find herself before it's too late?

  Too late for her.

  Too late for Alec.

  Too late for happiness…

• Language: English
• Publisher: L&M Multimedia, LLC
• Release date: Jun 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223986829

Lu Ann Long

          Hello, and THANK YOU for reading Revenge & Remdemption! I love writing thrilling suspense novels and, on a lighter note... romantic comedies! If you like a fun story and a good laugh, check out my 'A Texas Romantic Comedy' books. Please drop me a note at [e-mail]. I'd love to hear from you! And remember... your review matters. Reviews help other readers wondering about this book make a decision. Also, your reviews help my books get noticed. Please take a moment to leave a review.             THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 

Book preview

Chapter One

The Pancake Haus in downtown Austin wasn’t the most romantic place in the world for Jimmy Sullivan to cheat on her with another woman, but it was Lucy’s favorite, and the jerk knew it.

Lucy Randall clenched her fists and glared at her two-timing boyfriend and the busty blonde nestled beside him in the red vinyl booth. I hate you, you lying bastard rat!

Rat bastard, Alec McDermott corrected.

Lucy glanced at her best friend. That too! she said, then she turned back to Jimmy and his smirking date.

Listen, babe, Jimmy said, his grin a bit too arrogant for Lucy to hold her raging temper much longer. It wasn’t working out. We weren’t on the same page.

Well, she said as sweet as the syrup covering his pancakes. Let’s see if this gets us on the same page. She grabbed a fistful of blueberry pancake from Jimmy’s plate and flung it into his smug face.

Boobs McSmirky squealed as pancake splattered her cleavage, leaving a perfect bluish-purple Rorschach mark in the middle of her chest.

Jimmy jumped up, cursing and swiping at the syrupy mess covering his face.

Alec, in his usual unrattled manner, picked Lucy up, threw her over his shoulder potato sack style, and carried her out of the restaurant.

You showed him, he said as he moved them down the city sidewalk.

Lucy bounced along on his broad shoulder, shaking her fist at the door of the restaurant as it grew smaller. Syrup dripped from her fingers.

Can you believe that? Five months of my life—gone! Taken! Stolen by that jerk and his tall stack! Did you see the boobs on that bitch? Her voice dropped in pitch. And did you get a load of that beautiful hair? Lucy wanted to hate the lovely blonde wreath around the woman’s head but she couldn’t—it was gorgeous. She blew a strand of her frizzy red hair away from her face. A moment later, the stubborn lock floated back into place, covering one eye.

Really? The hair gods were going to kick her while she was down!

Good riddance, Alec said.

Lucy hesitated. Yeah. Good riddance you lying rat! Panic pinched her middle. He might have been a lying rat, but at least he was her lying rat.

She sighed. She was going to be single . . . again.

Alec stepped off the curb onto a quiet street. The jarring motion shoved his shoulder into her tummy. She wiggled. Put me down, or else I’m going to pee on you.

He put her down and they walked sticky-hand in hand through the humid summer night. Lucy watched the street lights ahead dance a red, green, and yellow ballet. The colors changed as fast as her relationships lately.

What did you see in that guy anyway? Alec asked.

She ignored the frustration in her best friend’s voice.

Okay, so this wasn’t the first time he’d come to her rescue where a guy was concerned.

You two didn’t have anything in common, he added.

Yes, we did! she cried, suddenly feeling the need to defend her relationship with the lying rat bastard she’d left wearing bits and chunks of soggy blueberry pancake. We loved paddle boarding on Town Lake.

"He loved paddle boarding. You’re terrified of fish. You carry on about falling in and being eaten alive by piranha every time you’re near any body of water. Piranha," he reiterated.

They’re out there, she said, glaring up at him. Alec was eight inches taller than her, had been since seventh grade. "Okay, then, we loved to go to the gym."

"Wrong. He loved the gym. You loved the fancy little outfits you got to wear to the gym. Where I might add, you rarely broke a sweat."

She threw off his hand. You’re being mean, McDermott.

He eyed the sticky residue she’d shared then ran his hand down his jeans. Honest is not mean, he said. Honest is helpful. You need honest. You need to take a good hard look at your life, Lucy.

Look who’s talking! I haven’t seen any lady friends hanging around your place since you and Beth broke up.

We’re not talking about me, he said and gave her a stop-trying-to-change-the-subject look. Honestly—

Again, with the honesty? she interrupted.

But he didn’t let her derail his point-making. Honestly, he said and gave her a warning look to stop interrupting him, "you just spent the last few hours of your twenty-fourth birthday tracking down a loser you didn’t really want to be with anyway. Do yourself a favor—do me a favor—lay off the guys for a while and figure out who you are."

What are you talking about? She became uncomfortably aware that she tripped along beside him wearing one of those sweet little gym outfits that Jimmy said made her butt look fabulous. She’d slipped it on before tailing her lying, cheating, now-ex-boyfriend to the best pancake house in Austin, which would, thanks to that two-faced jerk, be forever crossed off her list of favorite restaurants. Unease tickled the back of her neck when she said, I know who I am.

Oh really? What’s your favorite pizza? Alec glanced down at her as they walked to the small apartment, she and her roommate, Gen Nakamura, shared above the Nakamura Kitchen.

Lucy didn’t hesitate. Artichoke and chicken.

Alec frowned. That was Pancake Face’s favorite pizza. You don’t even know how to spell artichoke without thinking really hard.

Harsh.

Honest, he said and smiled, she supposed to soften the blow that he was right. Focus. Tell me what your favorite pizza is.

Okay, okay. Let’s see . . . She gnawed her bottom lip trying to find the answer in her muddled brain. She had to kick Jimmy and his bimbo out of her head space. Pizza . . . Pizza . . . Finally, she snapped her fingers, and said, Pineapple and basil.

Wrong. Before you dated Mr. Vegetarian Veterinarian last year, you were all about the meat. And pineapple had never crossed your lips unless it was paired with strawberry and covered in chocolate sauce on an ice cream sundae. Try again.

Happy birthday to me, she said. Is this your present? A swift kick in the ass?

Pizza?

She screwed up her face and thought harder. Oh! Pepperoni and jalapeno. Ha! She shot him with a finger gun and then blew on the tip as if it was smoking.

Nope. That was Enrique, the Spicier-the-Better Latin Lover. The cockiness sputtered out of her like a balloon losing air and Alec laughed. Admit it, Lucy. You don’t know what you like because you’re a chameleon.

Excuse me? They had arrived at the Austin eatery and stopped beside the outside staircase that led to Lucy and Gen’s apartment. She peered up at Alec as she fished the door key out of the little pocket sewn into her yoga pants.

A chameleon, he repeated. You change yourself into the person you think your latest boyfriend wants you to be. When you were dating Wild Ben from Wyoming you let your underarm hair grow so long you could have braided it.

His name was Ben Lambert and he liked the natural look.

It stunk.

She elbowed him in the side. You stink. Besides, look, she said, lifting both arms. No more Yeti pits.

Nice. He took the key from her hand and she lowered her arms. He climbed the narrow stairs in front of her and kept talking. When you were dating Paul the English Punk Rocker, you wore grunge, dyed your hair purple, and had a fake lip piercing.

He was Welsh and a real piercing scared the crap out of me.

Not the point, he said without turning around. Then, there was that preppy dude who turned you into a live-action anime. I think my favorite was the pink and white checked skirt, fuchsia wig, and the lime green Gogo boots.

At least I was able to reuse that outfit at Halloween, she said in a thin voice. She didn’t like the way Alec was cataloging her life.

Alec stopped in his tracks and glanced back. He smiled and the tiny chip in his front tooth caught her eye.

And don’t forget Ned the Nudist, he said. Now that one, I didn’t mind so much.

She slapped him on the bottom and pushed him to move again. Shut up.

My point is, you’ve lost touch with the real you.

Oh great, she said, sighing like her life was over. I’m getting the feminist talk from my straighter than straight male friend. I’ve hit rock bottom.

Standing on the landing at the apartment door, he said, You’re still worth saving. Let’s say you’re in the sludge slightly above rock bottom.

Yeah, that sounds better.

I dare you—

Stop! She raised both hands. That’s not fair, McDermott. You know I can’t resist a dare. Don’t say it, whatever it is. She covered her ears. La, la, la. I’m not listening.

He grabbed her hands and lowered them to her sides, then he patted down the hair that stuck out on the side of her head due to her syrup-sticky hand.

I dare you to stop dating for one month. Figure out who you really are before you jump into another relationship, then maybe you can be yourself and attract someone good for you, instead of the likes of Pancake Face.

Lucy thought about that. A month felt excessive. If she went along with the dare; it wouldn’t take her that long to find herself. Would it?

Alec opened the apartment door and handed her the key. Is Gen home?

I suppose. Be quiet when you leave, you clunked up the stairs like a gorilla. I’m surprised Randy isn’t barking his head off.

Are you kidding me? That dog sleeps through anything. I’ll see you tomorrow. He leaned down and kissed her on the top of the head. When she drew back, he was staring down at her. Happy birthday, Lucy.

The playful twinkle in his eyes had dulled and his voice had taken on a serious tone. Her heart tightened, but a second later, anger straightened her spine. She sucked in a sharp breath that brought with it not only heated oxygen but also the spicy aroma of the restaurant below. She pointed up at him. You don’t think I can do it. You don’t think I can be without a guy for a month.

He backed up a step.   I didn’t say that.

The look on his face said that she thought, feeling more than a little insulted.

"But you don’t, do you? You also, don’t think I can find myself. Well, I’ll show you, Alec McDermott. I vow under the— She looked up at the neon restaurant sign blocking her view of the moon, —under the glow of the famous Yakitori Chicken Kebab that I will find myself in one month."

Without dating, he reminded.

She glared up at him and repeated flatly, Without dating.

Chapter Two

A re you going to do it? Gen asked Lucy the next morning. Gen’s words were garbled by the electric toothbrush pulsating in her mouth.

I have to, Lucy said, brushing her hair as she leaned over the tub in the small bathroom. With each stroke, her long red locks crackled with electricity and grew puffier. It was a dare.

Gen rinsed, spit, dabbed her petite pink lips, and then scrutinized her perfect features in the mirror. Remind me to dare you to buy my next iPhone.

Yeah, I know, but what’s done is done. Lucy straightened and flipped her red mane back. I’ve got one month to ‘find’ myself, she said, making air quotes while still holding the hairbrush.

Gen took the brush and handed her a scrunchy. "The brushing is making it angry. By the way, how are you planning to get in touch with the real Lucy Randall? We haven’t seen her in years."

Hmmm . . . Did everyone think she was a chameleon?

Still in their robes, they moved into the bedroom they shared in the tiny apartment. Gen pulled on black pants and a light pink silk shirt.

Lucy tossed the scrunchy onto the dresser and picked up a fake purple azalea glued to a bobby pin. She fastened the flower into the red puffiness over her left ear. Hmmm . . . how to go about this finding myself thing. Good question.

I guess you could do all the stuff you did with the boyfriends you’ve had over the years, Gen said, slipping into a sharp-looking, black cropped jacket. She reached up and took the flower from Lucy’s hair and handed her the scrunchy again.

Lucy sighed and wrestled her hair into a low ponytail.

You could see if you really like to do any of that outdoors and sports stuff, Gen said, making a face like she was gagging at the thought of doing outdoors and sports stuff.

Yeah, find my pizza toppings, Lucy mumbled.

What’s that? Gen asked, stepping into black, high-heeled boots that brought her height to a whopping five-foot-two inches.

Lucy still had to look down at her friend when she spoke. Nothing, she said as she squeezed into her comfy faded jeans. She wiggled a leg and pinched at the seat.

Maybe she should give up donuts for a month.

You know, Gen said, it might be fun exploring all your past relationships. You could pick out the stuff you like and leave the rest behind. Adios. So long. Sayonara.

That did sound intriguing, Lucy thought. Since she was committed to this dare, she might as well take it seriously. Plus, she wanted badly to prove Alec was totally wrong about her.

But I don’t have a guy to do all that stuff with, she whined and a split second later grimaced.

Dang it. She was pretty sure she’d just proven Alec had a valid point.

She sighed and slipped her feet into a pair of cork wedges. Standing flat-footed, she was five foot seven, and with wedges, she towered over Gen.

Gen wagged a finger up at her. Sorry, no dating. It’s part of the dare. But— She tapped a manicured nail against her chin. It wouldn’t hurt to have a partner who knows you, to keep you on track. As long as that partner is honest with you.

Honest? Alec had beaten her silly with that word last night.

How about you? Lucy asked, pulling an orange and white polka-dotted t-shirt over her head. She sat down on Gen’s twin bed and picked up a still-sleeping Randy, her roommate’s six-month-old Shih Tzu. The dog rolled into her arms, yawned, stretched, and sprang to life. She ruffled his curly black and white fur and cooed love words into his face. The sweet aroma of his puppy breath reached her nose before he nuzzled her neck and nipped at her earlobe. She turned back to Gen.

You were just saying how you want to do something crazy before the semester starts. Come help me find myself. We’ll take a cooking class. Learn to ride motorcycles. Maybe do that rock-climbing thing.

Me? Gen said. No way, I’m not doing all that stuff.

Not even the cooking class?

We live over my uncle’s restaurant for a reason. Gen gave her a knowing look.

Okay, it was true that the oven in their apartment had never been used.

Besides, Gen added, I wouldn’t be honest. We live together. If we were honest with each other, we might break up. I couldn’t stand that.

What are we lying to each other about? Lucy wanted to know.

Best not to say. Can you take Randy for his walk? Thanks, Gen said before Lucy agreed. But it didn’t matter. Lucy and Randy got along great and her Saturday was completely open. Gen grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. At the door, she stopped. You should get Alec to help you find yourself.

"Alec?"

Sure, he won’t start his new job for another week. It’s only right since he was the one who dared you to take on this monumental task.

Monumental? How bad off did Gen think she was?

#

ALEC MCDERMOTT, YOU’RE a sadist. Coach Grandville’s assessment of him was correct. His was a tortured existence. Coach spotted him while he bench-pressed two hundred pounds of steel. The workout not only kept him fit but also helped him forget that torture for a short while. At least it did when Coach wasn’t bringing it up.

When you love a girl, you’ve got to tell her. The old man’s naturally gruff voice made even more gravelly from years of yelling at football players forced Alec to listen.

He had heard it all before. He concentrated on the deliberate movement of slowly bringing the weights to his chest and pushing them away. Control was key.

She can’t read your mind, you know.

Alec stared at the ceiling, concentrating. Down. Up. Down. Up.

Control.

Go on then, Coach muttered. Ignore me. You ain’t never done anything I told you in reference to that girl anyway. The whole four years you played football for me, you was messed up in the head over her. Good thing you could play ball in your sleep.

Alec grunted and pushed with everything he had to get the last rep of the bar up and onto the holding stand. Coach made sure the weight was secure, then dropped a towel on Alec’s face.

Damn fool. You never listen.

#

TWENTY MINUTES AFTER Gen had left her alone with Randy, Lucy took a deep breath and entered the Sit and Sip Smoothie shop on North Lamar. The boho tropical vibe was uniquely her sisters—the owners of the establishment.

Bright green plants, some fake, some real, popped against cool white walls. Aqua, coral, and sea foam green colored hanging beads covered stock shelves, and a soft Moroccan tune underscored the chatty crowd and the whirling sound of an industrial blender. The faint smell of coconut always lingered in the air.

Make it a tall one, Trina.

You got it, Luce, her sister said. Catrina Randall-Parker was Lucy’s senior by eleven years. As were her two other sisters Sabrina Randall-Oliver and Georgina Randall-Tate. Triplets. Each was married, none had children, and all were blissfully happy with their lives. Lucy assumed they’d all gotten their fill of playing mommy from raising her.

Lucy’s sisters were sassy and smart businesswomen who owned twelve Sit and Sips in the Austin metropolitan area. The North Lamar location was the main business hub. Lucy loved each of her sisters with all her heart, but Catrina, like her other two sisters, made it their business to run Lucy’s life. And she wasn’t just talking about her work life, of which they had complete control since they were her bosses.

Nearly eleven years after Curtis and Regina Randall had decided to stop having children, along came Lucy. She had been a mistake—one her father had never let her mother forget. Still, Lucy believed if she’d been a boy, Good Ole Dad wouldn’t have minded the accident he’d made that one crazy Halloween night.

But, in the early a.m. hours of a sweltering July the next year, Lucy had been born and she hadn’t been a boy. Curtis Randall had split before Lucy was old enough to remember him. She didn’t mind so much. Or maybe she did. She wasn’t sure.

Anyway, her mother had been left to raise four girls on her own, one of which was a newborn. She failed miserably at getting over Curtis’ leaving and pulled her own disappearing act when Lucy was seven. Then it was up to three eighteen-year-olds to raise their kid sister.

Catrina, Sabrina, and Georgina loved Lucy—she was positive of that—but even though they did their best, at times she felt like little more than a play thing. Their saving grace throughout the years was that the sisters also gave Lucy advice and encouragement. She supposed that offset the dysfunctionality of being a living, breathing baby doll.

Catrina was pouring fresh milk into a