The Wrath of Blonde: (The Making of Star Trek II, and Other Wild Hollywood Adventures as an Amazon in Outerspace.

By Laura Banks

Laura Banks is a triple threat to herself and others as a comedy writer, stand-up and four-time author, with her USA Today Bestseller, "Breaking the Rules" selling a quarter of a million copies. Laura got her first acting break in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan". TV appearances as an author/personality include ABC World News, SyFy, Prime, Netflix, Comedy Central, USA Network, Fox News, MSNBC, Gooday LA, Gooday New York, TYRA, VH-1, and the Rosie O'Donnell Show. Laura started out as an improv player in Spontaneous Combustion comedy troupe with Whoopi Goldberg at the Comedy Stores in LA and San Diego. She then got her first break in Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan (Paramount) and was then discovered by world-famous indie producer Roger Corman, to star in a series of B-films. Then back to the stage as a standup at The Original Improvisation (NYC) for three years, and then host of Inside Space (SYFY Channel) with lots more TV appearances with two books with Janette Barber on ABC World News, MSNBC and Fox News. Laura also hosted the podcast Love Online (Toginet) with Susan Winter from the Huffington Post and Star Gal Radio on traditional radio (CRN Digital Talk). For a decade she produced and voiced comedy segments with Dick Clark's United Stations Radio Networks and was the voice of the NBA.

Book Review: "Laura Banks delightful and cheeky new memoir, "The Wrath of Blonde", is a humorous, self-deprecating and emotionally honest story of her brush with fame while piloting the Reliant in "Star Trek II, the Wrath of Khan", almost getting blown up in the jungles of the Philippines for Roger Corman, striking out with Warren Beatty and failing to fall under the hypnotic, Svengali-like spell of Jack Nicholson among others, including a short-lived, but torrid romance with the Enterprise's charismatic skipper himself. Banks's Hollywood story as she navigates the pinnacles and pitfalls of showbiz regales her readers in this fun, breezy read. – Mark A. Altman (writer/producer, Free Enterprise; showrunner, Pandora; host, Inglorious Treksperts)

Her latest memoir The Wrath of Blonde chronicles surviving a dysfunctional childhood and suicidal death of her brother to moving on to star in films for Roger Corman which she shot in southeast Asia and almost died in the process. She then died repeatedly as a stand-up comic before becoming a regular at the biggest clubs in the U.S., including The Improvisation and Comedy Cellar in New York City, and now she brings her humor to her wild experiences in Hollywood, all the while navigating a way back to self-love, beyond her own demons, depression, and desperation. She helps others embrace their addictions and still shoot for the moon with her astrological system using the actual heavenly planets in the universe!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9798350906042

Book preview

Men This Way!

"Roger Corman exploited all of the young people who

worked for him, but he really gave you responsibility

and opportunity. So, it was kind of a fair deal."⁶

— FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA

I have starred in three low-budget action pictures; action adventure, action horror and action comedy. Apparently, I do not make any movies without the word action in the description. They were entitled Wheels of Fire, Demon of Paradise, and Retreads. Star Trek II was an action picture, too.

Men, this way! That was my line at the end of my first film with Roger Corman, Wheels of Fire, where I lead a real Filipino army into battle! (Sometimes I’ll yell out, Men, this way! in a restaurant just to get service, then sit down and apologize. You really must try it.) In Wheels, I went from being an extra in STII to having a starring role. We filmed in the Philippines⁷ and it had me literally running for my life, from exploding cars and burning bridges. I was sucked into the ground by a meandering tribe of albino little people. (C’mon, who can say that?) They used me as an actress and as a crash-test dummy. I was not a paid stunt woman, but they enjoyed turning me into one. I don’t like catching on fire. I am not that kind of a thrill seeker. I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning and not stubbing my toe. Most importantly, I was not getting paid good money to risk my life! Forget that! There has to be a monetary value to almost dying. (I am quite sure that the woman who got shot out of a cannon in the circus, made more than the ticket-taker.)

I jumped out of a real armored personnel carrier with a hundred men running behind me, firing off all their guns loaded with real ammunition! I found out later over lunch, that the little general had told his men to shoot off their guns so he could order new bullets! There were bullet shells falling all around me as I was pressed against the wall of a rock quarry when I could run no more. Guns, very loud guns - firing off, for a very long time. It was a genuine Filipino army. The director and cameraman were safely filming about a quarter of a mile away behind a boulder, probably sipping lattes. Am I bitter? Nah. I had shell shock for days. I would not leave my hotel room at the Manila Intercontinental Hotel. Instead, I simply sat on the edge of my bed, staring straight ahead, trembling, and weeping like a homeless Disney character. I was a little bit irritated by this exploitation and I probably still am. And I have tinnitus – thank you very little.

In another take, I’m hiding behind an abandoned-looking car and it suddenly explodes as I awkwardly dash away in my thigh-high boots with slight heels, in 103-degree desert heat. I look back. My car is on fire. WTF? I recalled what the director had told me to do—to get up and run when I saw flames! That was a natural instinct that required no acting talent whatsoever. It was sheer survival. But first I had to remember to rip the grenade off my belt and propel it into the air. We needed multiple takes, so they had to keep lighting the car on fire and I had to keep falling, eating sand, then getting up and throwing a grenade again. Go watch the film and you will see for yourself how stunned I am in the moment. Sometimes survival looks like acting. I am often simply trying not to die. And if you did go back and watch the film, I apologize. It is a horrible film I survived, but it makes for a good story. I wish my first film had been Sophie’s Choice, but I didn’t go to Yale like Meryl Streep. (Cough. Just clearing out the bitterness in my throat.)

Being filmed while your life is in danger is the premise of one of my favorite movies of all time, The Stunt Man, with Peter O’ Toole (1980). The plot? It is a story of a criminal on the lam who gets rescued by a film crew that hides him inside the production. The price for his freedom was to almost get killed repeatedly as a stuntman. That is what Wheels of Fire and my work as the lead character Stinger felt like to me. But I was under contract with Roger Corman and New Horizon’s Pictures to finish this sucker of a film. Just another day at the office.

I guess I should have read the script a little more closely. The ground would often tremble beneath me from nearby explosions. I breathed air from burning rubber tires. The experience was awful and fabulous at the same time, because I was starring in a movie! But it was mostly awful because I was halfway around the world and in a lot of danger. Check, please? This was not my childhood fantasy of filmmaking. It was a Twilight Zone, but…there was one redeeming piece, the leading man, Gary Watkins. He was cute, and a cute-boy leading man helped to ease my pain. I didn’t actually like him as a person, but I liked the idea of him. He was fun to flirt with when I wasn’t running from things on