EMBODIED QUEEN: Discover Your Own Uniqueness & Live Your Best Life

By Jacqui Grant

Are you ready to discover who you really are and be the beautiful unique person you are?

Are you ready to feel empowered and confident to be you, completely you?

Are you ready to overcome the challenges of the past and Live YOUR Best life?

Embodied Queen will take you on a journey of self-discovery and the opportunity to move on from the challenges of the past. You WILL laugh, you WILL cry and you will even feel a little uncomfortable at times as I share with you my experiences as well as tips and strategies that work to live the life that brings you happiness and joy while being true to youWe are all born perfect and whole as we are. We all deserve to be accepted and loved for the amazing person we are no matter what we look like, the experiences we have had to date or the way we process the world around us.You will be empowered and inspired as you read this book and ready to be the best version of YOU. Your Own Uniqueness!

Jacqui Grant is a 4 times Amazon Best Seller and is now the author of 14 books. Jacqui is an Empowerment Coach, Personal trainer, with a background in nursing, nutrition, meditation facilitator, reiki master, psycho-social recovery coach, and a business consultant for those in the disability sector. Jacqui has also overcome morbid obesity to release a total of 114kgs and has gone on to develop professional development training for personal trainers on bariatric surgery. She has also developed and facilitated Certified Empowerment Practitioner Trainer, Wellbeing Programs, and Seminars in business and speaks at events on Health, Fitness, and well-being along with weight management and understanding neurodiversity.

Jacqui’s passion is empowering others to be the best they can be. A unique combination of qualifications and personal experience makes Jacqui the Go to Person to achieve your personal or business goals in a timely manner and with success. Break Free Consultancy offers: Personal programs that focus’ on empowering you, Disability Business Programs and support, Programs for Coaches – Empowerment Practitioner training and much more.

​​​​​​​www.breakfreeconsultancy.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9781447827573

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

How are you, still alive?

That is a question people ask me at least weekly and, sometimes, even daily. Why is it that people ask me that question? I mean, who am I that they would ask me that question? Another question people ask me is, "How have you survived after everything you have gone through?

Well let me tell you! I am someone who has been through childhood and spousal abuse, trauma, morbid obesity at 168kgs, cancer, the death of two children, two resuscitations in hospital, getting fired because of talking too much and finally, an ADHD diagnosis. And yet, here I am today at 55 years of age, writing my 14th book, that’s right, my 14th book, and successfully running my own business. That is my story in a nutshell; however, there is much more to it than one sentence… soo much more.

This book is for anyone who has lost themselves, who has stayed in the cycle of trauma. It is also for those who are family or friends of someone who has gone through trauma, whatever that trauma may be. It could be abuse, it could be death or illness, it could be bullying, which is also trauma. It is also for anyone who has been obese or morbidly obese, lost their identity, and felt shame about their body. Living through any form of abuse, trauma, or illness takes its toll on your entire being—mind, body, and soul. Its darkness and negativity ripple through every part of life, including relationships and friendships, and living life to the fullest can be tough. Trust in self and trust in others may not be there. Receiving love and support with gratitude and openness may be tough.

Every challenge that comes after the abuse, trauma, or illness feels heavier and bigger than the last one, and before you know it, the smallest of setbacks can trigger a breakdown. And then, so the cycle continues until one day, it does not. One day you wake up and say, Enough is enough! I am ready to Live My Best Life, whatever that looks like, and you start on the journey of self-discovery to know and understand what joy, happiness, and going with the flow means to you. I did exactly that. I woke up one day after a near-death experience and said, I am ready to live my life with purpose and joy, to honour me, and to be what I was born to be—Queen of my life. I am ready to be Queen of every aspect of my life, to be a leader and motivator, empowering others through the work I do—empowerment sessions, masterclass retreats, speaking events, and much more. To Live my Best Life and show you how you can be the Queen or King of your life and be uniquely you.

To step completely into being who I was born to be meant I had to, yes HAD to break free from the trauma of my past, change the records playing in my head, and remember to trust myself and love all of me, even the parts I choose to change. An important part of that is acknowledging my behaviour and role in all of it, including how long I chose to stay in existence mode and the internal battle I faced day after day of dreaming big and feeling stuck (sticking with the actions I was taking was exhausting).

To be completely transparent, I still have those battles at times, especially as my business grows and responsibilities change and increase. This is a journey, a journey that will always have challenges and adventures. How much I enjoy it is entirely my choice, just as your journey and the experiences you have is completely in your hands. You are in control of your life, even when you feel you aren’t. I will go into this more in the chapter on Taking Back Control.

The Journey is Ongoing

Throughout the book, I take you on my journey out of the fear, the insecurity, and only existing in the world to where I am today as I write this book and continue my journey, my business, my life to where I will be as you read this book a month, a year, or five years from now. I share with you my stories as examples of the principles of each chapter of this book, and I share how each of them has taught me and gifted me with tools, strategies, and knowledge. Had I not had those experiences and learnt those tools, I would not be the person I am today. There is a lesson in everything, even in the pain. If we do not experience pain from time to time, we cannot fully understand the joy and appreciate the relief in pleasure.

From time to time throughout the book, I will encourage you to do some self-reflection. Unlike the other books I have written, I am not giving you the space to write in the actual book—this time, I encourage you to have your own journal for that. This way, you can write and write, and then when you are ready to release it all, you can burn the page. You can also write down each strategy that I share and give it a go if you like. To make it easy for you to know when I am encouraging you to take action, you will see Self-Reflection. You will also see Strategy/Tool when I am being very clear about the strategy and tool I am sharing.

Each chapter will be thought-provoking. The chapter called Cycle of Trauma has been written with the purpose of providing you with some basis as to the impact that trauma has; how it may play out in a person’s life.

The chapters that closely follow the Cycle of Trauma chapter connect to more specific principles of life, and through the stories there, I share one or two examples of trauma, fear, and uncertainty. Yours may be a unique experience, but the response, reaction, behaviour, and self-perception will be similar. Each principle discussed in this book will take you closer to Living YOUR Best life, empowering yourself to understand Your Own Uniqueness, and then giving yourself permission to completely embody the Queen or King you are—perfect, beautiful, and living life on your terms from a space of love, health, fitness, and wellbeing.

As you reach the end of the book, you will have gained some insights into your own life, your behaviour, habits, and mindset. You can choose to see your life and goals in a way that reminds you that you can Dream It, Believe It, Achieve It.

If you do the self-reflections, and if you give yourself the opportunity to start peeling back the layers and healing, then you will have a sense of what is possible. I do hope that you feel empowered to keep going and to know that you can Live YOUR Best Life. The one thing that I would love you to remember is that YOUR Best Life is constantly changing as you do. It will always evolve as you discover more of who you are, as you allow yourself to shine brightly after taking back control of you, your body, and your beliefs.

There is raw vulnerability throughout my stories; my life experiences that you will connect with either personally or because of a loved one. There is joy and celebration, and I know there will be Ahha moments also. Each of you will get something different out of this book, and that is the beauty of sharing stories. It is a little like being around the campfire where someone shares a story; every single person will hear that story differently, and each person will be 100% right, for stories teach us what we are ready to hear. This is a journey I am on, and the healing will continue, as it is all in layers. It is a constant evolution; as I release and heal one layer, the next one appears. For me, I see it as a rose, it starts as a bud, closed, and it slowly allows the layers to fall away, so it can fully open and be present in all its beauty in the world. There is vulnerability, beauty, and strength in that.

So, grab a drink, preferably non-alcoholic, at least for now (you will learn my sense of humour the more you read,) and let us begin the journey of how to discover Your Own Unique Resilience and shine brightly as you Live YOUR Best Life. Remember, you get to define it, and that is exciting. It is a journey, it is full of self-discovery, awareness, and infinite possibilities, and when you can accept all of that, your world WILL look brighter, peace will be present more, and you will live your uniquely beautiful life.

You are not alone, ever in this world; the key is to identify your tribe and to do that, you first identify and know you. I have got you!

Chapter 1

BORN PERFECT

We all come into this world perfect, whole, and beautiful. Yes, even if you were born with one arm, unable to walk, talk, hear, or see, you are still beautiful and whole as the unique and pure being of love you are. Each one of us is born as we are and will bring love, joy, happiness to someone, at least one person. We are a blank slate, ready to experience this world and learn and grow.

I have shared that information so many times when running masterclasses and workshops and even during empowerment coaching sessions, and I have had people look at me as if I am the strangest thing they have seen… I have even had someone ask me, What? Are you crazy? How can someone who has one leg or one arm be perfect and whole? How can they have a normal life? My response was, "It is all about the meaning we give the situation and experience. It’s about the perception we view it from. I like to see things as they are, not as I believe they should be.

Having worked in the health and disability sector for over 35 years, I have seen many people with many different body shapes, communication methods, and mobility methods. And I have seen some of the most incredibly inspiring people who are in a wheelchair, unable to verbalise and unable to feed themselves, be so happy and have the most beautiful laugh. On the surface, we could say that person is not whole as they are not able to walk, talk, and feed themselves. And yes, that is true; they do have those limitations. However, they are more than their physical body, and because they have been loved and are loved for who they are, not just the physical appearance and capabilities, they are happy in their world, doing the best they can, and they experience joy and connection, like you and I do.

I will talk more about this in the next chapter, but you see, we are born without judgements and expectations. These judgements and expectations are imprinted onto us. As a baby and the first-born child to my parents, they were excited to have me. They saw me as beautiful and with so much potential to be whomever I would choose to be. They fed me, hugged me, sent me to school for an education, and took me to mass every Sunday. I grew up Catholic and later in life changed to expand my spiritual beliefs. My parents had expectations for me and my life based on their knowledge and belief systems.

Now I understand that some people are born into a family that doesn’t want them or a family that is struggling and unable to provide for them, or parents who have their priorities a little different to what is considered normal. I understand that the upbringing and view of those children is vastly different to the one I had and the ones my friends have had.

However, in those situations of challenges and even abuse and neglect, the child, the infant, is beautiful and whole. And there will be someone in their world eventually that can teach them love. In fact, I saw it personally when I did emergency care for a few babies who had to be taken from their homes due to abuse and neglect. I saw the burn marks on them, and I was able to give them a home over a weekend to hold them and love them, even for 48 hours, so they knew that they were safe. They will know that even for a small part of their life, they had an opportunity to experience unconditional love. I could do that because of who I am; however, I also know and understand that not everyone can, and that is okay.

When we can see that we are all born into this world with infinite possibilities, and while the environment we are born into may or may not be the best it could be, it is what it is, and there is still infinite potential and possibilities within that can be tapped into, even many years later, now that is a beautiful thing to know, understand, and embrace.

We are born with infinite love and infinite possibilities, and we are more than the body we are born into, more than our environment, and more than our beliefs. We are pure love, and we are beautiful and whole!

Now is the perfect time for you to take a moment to read back over that last sentence and really see what comes up for you when you read it. Connect to the emotions. If you would like to, take this opportunity to write out what has come up for you.

As this book is a journey from birth to where you are now, connecting with how you came into this world, the family and situation you were born into, and knowing that you are that beautiful, amazing, and incredible infant who could be anything you chose/choose to be, lays the foundation for the rest of this book. It lays the foundation for your life, where you are now, and how you got to be where you are now, just as it has for me.

It was not until I came to understand that I came into this world ready to achieve certain things and to learn from the people who are my family and then