A Modest Proposal: Including "The Benefits of Farting Explained"

By Jonathan Swift

This carefully crafted ebook: "A Modest Proposal + The Benefits of Farting Explained " contains 2 books in one volume and is formatted for your eReader with a functional and detailed table of contents. A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People From Being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling their children as food for rich gentlemen and ladies. This satirical hyperbole mocks heartless attitudes towards the poor, as well as Irish policy in general. The Benefits of Farting Explained was published in pamphlet form in 1722. Why is farting considered to be a taboo? Swift's The Benefit of Farting argues eloquently, that most of the distempers thought to affect the fairer sex are due to flatulence not adequately vented. To complete the excursus into this venerable and age-old human activity, Charles James Fox's Essay upon Wind provides a detailed analysis, classification and history of farting, peppered with wit and curious anecdotes about particularly eminent farts of the past. Jonathan Swift (1667 – 1745) was an Anglo-Irish poet, writer and cleric who gained reputation as a great political writer and an essayist. Jonathan, who became Dean of St. Patrick's in Dublin, is also known for his excellence in satire. His most remembered works include Gulliver's Travels, A modest Proposal, An Argument against Abolishing Christianity and A Tale of a Tub.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sharp Ink
• Release date: Mar 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9788028297725

Jonathan Swift

Jonathan Swift was born in Dublin in 1667. Although he spent most of his childhood in Ireland, he considered himself English, and, aged twenty-one, moved to England, where he found employment as secretary to the diplomat Sir William Temple. On Temple's death in 1699, Swift returned to Dublin to pursue a career in the Church. By this time he was also publishing in a variety of genres, and between 1704 and 1729 he produced a string of brilliant satires, of which Gulliver's Travels is the best known. Between 1713 and 1742 he was Dean of St Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin; he was buried there when he died in 1745.

Book preview

The Benefits of Farting Explained

Table of Contents

Lovely Babe of Maid of Honour,

Every Grace shall smile upon her,

Sweetest Warbler of the Tail,

Soft as Breeze of Southern Gale;

Or the fanning Zephyrs Blast,

Over Beds of Spices past;

Gentle Puff of fragrant Air,

Squeez’d from Breech of Virgin Fair;

‘Tis by Thee the Fair discover,

Proof of Vigour in a Lover;

Silent Fizzle; or Speaking Fart,

Easily both Ease impart;

Sweet Fore-boder, joyful Sound,

To the Belly that’s hard bound;

Cure of Cholick, Cure of Gripes,

Tuneful Drone of lower Pipes.

Thus the Winds in Cavern pent,

Widen Holes, and force a Vent;

Stealing Whisper, ‘scape of Bum,

Soft as Flute, or loud as Drum;

Downwards breathing, backwards sigh,

Happy Smock that lies so nigh;

Happy she that can this Way,

Shut her Mouth, but loudly Bray.

Of Chloe all the Town has rung;

By ev’ry size of Poets sung:

So beautiful a Nymph appears

But once in Twenty Thousand Years.

By Nature form’d with nicest Care,

And, faultless to a single Hair.

Her graceful Mein, her Shape, and Face,

Confest her of no mortal Race:

And then, so nice, and so genteel;

Such Cleanliness from Head to Heel:

No Humours gross, or frowzy Steams,

No noisom Whiffs, or sweaty Streams,

Before, behind, above, below,

Could from her taintless Body flow.

Would so discreetly Things dispose,

None ever saw her pluck a Rose.

Her dearest Comrades never caught her

Squat on her Hams, to make Maid’s Water.

You’d swear, that so divine a Creature

Felt no Necessities of Nature.

In Summer had she walkt the Town,

Her Arm-pits would not stain her Gown:

At Country Dances, not a