Expat Living in Croatia: Culture Shock, Reverse Culture Shock in a foreign country the Expat's country

By Devika Primic

I am the trailing spouse who boldly packed up my bags and left South Africa to live in Croatia, in the southeastern part of Europe. A tremendous experience it has been for me. You will know more about my experience if you buy this book. Come and share your experience with me and I would love to hear how you coped in a foreign country. People want to experience the different cultures around the world. Most don't know what it's like to live in a foreign country to catch up on a different culture. A holiday sounds fantastic but tries living a foreign lifestyle without the knowledge as I have! The language is a barrier as are other aspects of living abroad. Trailing spouses are not always in the know of how changes could affect their daily lifestyles. Knowledge of how to cope with culture shock on arrival in a foreign country and of reversed culture shock as when you return home to visit family. This book is for you to grasp everything I learned from living life in a foreign country, Croatia. A life that is filled with mixed emotions, to learn how to cope with your identity, time for settling in your new country, to raise children, to be able to manage money, and have a career in a place that surprised you from your day of arrival.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Devika Primic
• Release date: Mar 8, 2019
• ISBN: 9798201003944

Book preview

An intro through the life of an Expat

Through my travels from Italy, to Zagreb, traveling along the coast to finally arriving in Konavle has been a wonderful experience.

I’m here to outline what I’ve noticed since first setting foot on Croatian soil back in 2002. Some of these I also now do, but  I remain a total outcast in Croatia no matter how I feel about this place; this is who I am.

My journey began in September 2002, and still I have a lot to discover in this part of the world. The surroundings are breathless which never stops to amaze me.

Conflict develops character is what my mama often told me. and I have kept that in my mind for all those years.

I am an Expat living in the quiet side of Croatia, in a village, Konavle. My experiences here have taught me to be bolder, independent and to be the person I had no idea I was capable of facing up to the many challenges in this foreign  country.

Read all about me and my life as an Expat in Croatia. The many issues I have faced have allowed me to move forward and to be positive in this life.

Chapter One

‘’Yugoslavia’’   Croatia

The first time I met my husband was in Pietermaritzburg, a city in Kwazulu Natal, South Africa.  He didn’t say much about himself except that he is from ‘’Yugoslavia.'

There he was standing  and gazing at what I thought was the other employee, indeed it was me. I didn’t believe that someone could fall in love at first sight.

I knew nothing  about his country, nor did I know this man gazing at me. I had no idea this place even  existed on the map. At that time I had never been anywhere out of South Africa. At 21 I had begun a life for myself and was new to dating and life itself.

It happened to be a summer evening filled with laughter and joy from us both.

We had seen each other at work. It didn’t feel the same as when we had met up afterwards.

I knew that my life would change after we held hands. Seeing the way he held my hand for the first time made me feel a romantic connection.

The stare in his light green eyes had me lined in. His gentle soft touch on my back felt romantic.

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This tall, handsome man swept me off my feet.

Charming and a little bit serious at times had drawn me toward him. I felt like someone had taken me away from my less caring and loving life that I had from my family.

Another side had opened for me,  being able to love and care for someone was just the beginning in my life.

His name is Đuro in the Croatian language and means George in English as he had explained to me in writing his name in short notes to me.

Croatia gained independence from ''Yugoslavia,'' in 1991. At which time we were dating  without the feel of obstacles.

Knowing the era in which we had met it was a forbidden act to be together. I looked at him and smiled thinking this, as in us, shouldn’t be happening at any point in our lives. Though I felt this way deep down I knew it was our lives.

Who was there to stop us from anything happening between us?

It happened with one touch and a kiss when I felt this butterfly feeling in the pit of my tummy.

We needed to feel each other's emotions in one instant.This new man in my life insisted he pick me up after work and did so daily.

George is from Dunave, a small village in Konavle. This is a narrow field located between the Snijeznica mountain and the Adriatic Sea. In the southeast of Dubrovnik is our place that we call home and it is peaceful.

The lifestyle is unique in its own way.  Of course most South Africans had no idea that Croatia existed on the map. I never thought of it or had a clue of its existence.

Similar to the Croatian people, most of them do not know where I come from.

South Africa is a well-recognized country, but not many Balkan people know where it is.

It makes me wonder about the knowledge we have from the two worlds apart.  

Yugoslavia at that time had not crossed my mind.  George enlightened me on the current situation there in his birth country.

George, living in South Africa for many years, had lost touch with his birthplace.  

Villages in the hinterland had at one time lived with many families. Older people have died in villages.  The youth moved to Dubrovnik and to other countries for a better life. 

By leaving the villages it created a life for most of  the older generation. In the same way,  George left his birth country, Yugoslavia for a better life in South Africa.

There are smaller families in all villages making them feel by themselves in most areas.

As the years followed by and still with George I looked forward to visiting Croatia.

I wanted to see it for myself and to learn more about this beautiful place.  George encouraged me to make that move to his country.

I knew if I had visited first, I would have known more about this place. Knowing more for me would have allowed me to live this life in so many other ways.  Well, love brought me here.

An Indian born in South Africa and living in Europe is a great change. It didn’t occur to me of the challenges I would have to go through.

Just not knowing about the country wasn’t a positive beginning for me.

Was I supposed just to pack my bags and go to live there?

It wasn't as if I was a child to not go there,  I made up my mind to move when I knew South Africa was no longer a safe place to raise a family.  That unplanned journey has changed a lot in my life.

This taught me a lot about my life too,  challenges and what I had left behind didn’t seem a priority living in a beautiful place like Croatia. 

Culture and this image I had in my mind about the local people didn’t fit in.

So much has changed as I have heard from George. He looked surprised. Nothing was the same from the time he left his birth place.

In his mind he expected his family to be the same as he had left them. Being young himself at that time when he left,  he didn’t know what to make of anything when got back to live in his village.

The war had changed the minds of the local people.

They shared lots with us and mostly they were in tears talking about their experiences. who could blame them for their sadness. We arrived in Dunave a few years after the war had ended. It was awful!

Most of them,  including some family and neighbors, looked at George as this selfish being for not having to be there in the war time.

He returned to his village after the war in the hope that people he grew up with would accept him.

I am a foreigner here, nothing will change that about me. imagine for him how it must have  been part of that life at one time,  and now George feels clueless and like an outsider.

I suspected the people looked at both of us as foreigners. Accepting us wasn’t going to be easy from the day we arrived.

Lots in our lives changed and then I saw my life slip away from me. I just had to go with the flow. Living in Croatia put a strain on all three of us. Our son, George and I lived a much happier life in the past.

There were laughs but in a different way of life. To allow this lifestyle into my life wasn’t a walk in the park.

Chapter Two

Croatian people live in villages

In South Africa villages are called tribes.

The first day Dunave-village

The moment I arrived in Dunave I felt something had been taken away from me. The overwhelming feeling of meeting George’s family and of their reaction toward me had caused this feeling in me. At the door, they were anxious to see me being from a different country. It all made sense to me. 

That evening was a Catholic celebration in the Dunave village,  called Mala Gospa. The nativity of Mary, is a Christian feast celebrated on this day.  A Marymas celebration whereby people cook a traditional meal and serve wine. 

Families come together and have a good day eating, and drinking wine. I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat anything. After the long journey from the 3rd of September to arriving at the family home on the 8th I was exhausted.

However,