Cruise To Yuletide: A Lucky & Led Cruise Ship Mystery

By David P Remy

The holiday season and all are pumped up for a merry, jingle bell cruise in the Caribbean, including our cruise adventurers, Lucky and Led. Both Christmas and Hanukkah are celebrated together this year on the ship, so Father Lucky meets his colleague, Rabbi Susan and her family from Philadelphia. Fortunately for Led, the Rabbi's family includes a beautiful twenty-one year old daughter, Beth who pair up immediately for a bit of fun and romance. The cruise staff are having a challenge with working together as a team; a bit of jealousy and too many alpha males vying for the leadership role. Things go hunky dory until the Rabbi's family and Led come up missing from their sun and fun day at the beach; the Cruise Director gets caught with his pants down, literally, with a supposedly X girlfriend, by another of his X girlfriends; Santa Claus is stuffed in a closet; the holiday presents are sent overboard into the sea and Led's estranged family, surprise, surprise, unbeknown to him, is on the same cruise. What a glorious holiday adventure filled with the usual crazy stuff that always seems to be in port or at sea with Lucky and Led.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 22, 2012
• ISBN: 9781624881459

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

A dollop of soot soiled the ivory white right cheek while the youthful head of curly ebony hair had splotches of coal dust offering the appearance of premature graying. The shiny, but scuffed, immense black boots, dangerously hovering over his tender ear, scrapped the bricked insides of the stack attempting purchase to hoist the not so jolly bearded fat man wheezing and squeezing his bulk upwards. The boy waved his outstretched arms wildly in his frustratingly fruitless endeavor to clutch the dangling sack hiding the promised presents intended for the holidays.

The hoofs of several animals of a non-descript character bantered across the roof shingles. The youth saw the backside of the man in the chimney pop up and out of the stack. Being young, he was able to pursue the menace almost to the top of the claustrophobic space but, feeling desperate, just wasn’t able to retrieve the bag of stolen holiday treasures. The lash of the whip snapped and the roof at first sagged and then bounced back into its normal angle as the lunge of the fat man’s vehicle lifted off to an unknown destination.

Now, with the top half of his body sticking up from the chimney pipe, the boy frantically waved at the disappearing man whisking away on his sleigh with the eight tiny reindeer. Not about to give up, he felt his foot being forcibly pulled back down into the dark vent. He hysterically kicked his legs until he heard…

Hey, hey, hey, sleepy head. Wake up! Let’s go! We got a call. One of Led Daley’s firefighting colleagues, the Lieutenant, actually, was shouting as he pulled at Led’s foot which was firmly squirreled away under the covers. The Lieutenant persistently shouted and pulled.

Led was logging in extra duty hours at his local volunteer Fire Station. This was never a problem since he loved being a fireman, especially when he got his chance to drive the new $500,000 dollar hook and ladder. Purchasing a truck of that magnitude was quite a coup for the small county Fire District. The recent development of higher rise buildings, including hospitals, was a reality which couldn’t any longer be overlooked. The need for the expensive equipment was now required for the safety of the people who paid the taxes.

Yeah, I’m awake. Led shook the sleepiness from his head and dived into his fire fighting gear which had been strategically placed alongside his cot in the Fire Station’s dormitory. He made a mad dash to the fire truck, immediately after a necessary bathroom run, to secure his position as the driver. As he ignited all the bells and whistles of the new contraption, his Lieutenant hopped up onto the seat next to Led and off they went to save someone’s day, house or, even, very possibly, their life.

The extra hours on duty had a purpose because he would have to take a short sabbatical from his usual on duty schedule. Led had been looking toward to this holiday season in particular since he had been invited by his Chaplain friend to go along on a holiday cruise sailing out of Miami.

Wow, he remembered exclaiming to his Lieutenant as he raced the red engine down the road with lights flashing and the horn blaring. I’ve always wanted to be on a cruise during the holidays. There will be so many families with good looking daughters on that boat! Yes, Led had his priorities in line per usual. That was a month ago and nothing captivated Led’s mind more than the epic search for his soul mate…the woman-to-become-the wife of his wildest fantasy. He spent every moment planning for the trip and counting down his days of boring bachelorhood…well, fire fighting wasn’t boring, he admitted, but the rest of his life nagged for the perfect partner.

Aren’t you going to spend the holidays with your family, Led? The Lieutenant asked. He was more than curious about his young driver’s breaking away from the usual tradition of celebrating the holiday with one’s family and relatives.

Naw. My family is spread all over the place. My dad didn’t put a lot of emphasis on celebrating the holidays, anyway. He and my mom had a tough time scrapping enough together to keep us going on a normal day when me and my sister were kids. So, my dad would tell us that we would just celebrate the holidays in a more spiritual way. I guess he and Mom did the best they could.

Yeah, sorry for butting into your personal life. Just wondered. I’m probably envious of your taking a cruise and I’m left with doing the same old thing around here again this year. So, you have a sister? Younger or older? Then, out of the blue…Oh, oh, watch out for that crazy guy in the SUV swerving into our lane, the Lieutenant screamed over the blare of the fire truck’s screeching horn.

Led swerved, put the pedal to the metal and grinned. That was awesome! He was in heaven driving the fire truck.

****

During this same period of time, Chaplain Lucky Harris was busying himself with accumulating the many accoutrements needed for both the onboard chapel services as well as the personal items he would need for his working-vacation cruise. Lucky’s heritage went back to the banks of the Mississippi river and he wasn’t ever able to shake it off. Growing up in Hawaii, an island state and then his career in the U. S. Navy Chaplain corps, both held great influence on his retirement ministry…volunteer cruise ship chaplain. With this ongoing relationship with RDC as a cruise ship chaplain, he truly felt that he was more fortunate than winning a lottery.

He had been in contact with Royal Danish cruise line’s person in charge of scheduling him and was informed that there would be a Rabbi on board, as well, to conduct the daily Feast of Dedication services, more readily known as Hanukkah. Though they didn’t always coincide, this year proved the occasional anomaly on the calendar to have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the eight days of Hanukkah overlapping the same dates.

The seven night cruise would be onboard the newest and most luxurious of RDC’s ships, the Wonder Star. Lora, RDC’s clergy scheduler, mentioned that the ship had a large room dedicated exclusively as a chapel for holding the services. As usual, though, the Midnight Christmas Eve service would need to be held in the ship’s theatre due to the expected large numbers of attendees. The service was traditionally held immediately following the holiday caroling for everyone on the promenade deck with the ship’s Captain leading the festive songs. Then, the horde of carolers would rush for the best theatre seats.

Of course, good old Saint Nick would make his appearance on Christmas morning bearing his bulbous bag of presents intended for the children…in this case, children not of all ages. The ship limited the gifts from Santa to those twelve and under. Though Chaplain Lucky’s sermon would usually emphasize that Christmas wasn’t just for children, the ship’s message made the opposite point due to the company accountants’ constant cost containment program. Hey, remember the demise of the iconic chocolate on the pillow which was done away with years ago?

****

Our flight’s scheduled for six in the morning. Can a young firefighter handle that? Lucky was on the phone with Led who was still bunking in at the Gulf-Ferry Fire Station.

No problem, Old Man. I was born awake, Led responded cheerfully.

Well, history could easily prove otherwise, but let’s not go down that road. I just wanted to confirm the travel flight to Miami. We should get in around noon. We can hitch a ride on RDC’s shuttle to the port. All very routine to maneuver compared to a couple of the other cruises we’ve had to get to." Lucky was all business…too much for Led to let pass.

I could find a cruise ship in the fog in the middle of a reef if I had to, Led quipped. In fact, it seems like we did that on one of our recent cruises, didn’t we? Or was that a hurricane we got caught up in? Hard for me to keep all the adventures on these cruises straight. Led was on a roll.

Hey, Friend, the only thing that you get mixed up on is which girl you were flirting with on what ship, if my memory serves me right. When it came to teasing, Lucky liked to give it as much as take it.

Yeah, whatever. It’s more important that the girls remember me, not if I remember them. Ha-ha. Led was not one to pass up getting in the last word or hiding his humility.

Anyway, we can get to the airport around five and be in our lavish cabin by one.

Lavish! You mean a cabin similar to a cave could be rated five stars?

Purely accidental to the entire operation, my Friend. Anyway, we couldn’t find anything at a better price. Right?

You got me there, Old Man. And, by the way, I think I’ll try my best not to refer to you as ‘Old Man’…at least not too often. Consider it an early holiday gift. Led was really pushing it, now.

Again, my Firefighting Friend, I wouldn’t go and take the fire truck down that road. There may be an explosion ahead. Lucky lost a big hunk of his humor when it came to being called the Old Man by Led. Oh well, so goes the eternal battle between the generations.

One last thing, Led, Lucky added with pause.

And that would be?

Try to keep the quantity of girlfriends to a reasonable number. It’s the holiday time and they might be expecting a fitting Christmas present from their current on board suitor. Remember your budget.

What can I do if they’re unable to pass up the charm boy of their life? They know a treasure when they find one. Led was all about Led.

Speaking of finding gifts and treasures and all that sort of stuff, Led rushed on in the conversation, I had quite a dream all about holiday presents in this dream…I mean the loss of them. It was crazy. Some fat guy with a snarled beard scratching his way up out of the chimney. Not sure it was supposed to be Santa but instead of bringing the presents, the guy was heisting them and I was attempting, without success, to chase up the chimney after him. All very frustrating. There must be some sort of symbolism in all that, right? Kind of scary, the whole bit about stealing the presents. What would Christmas be if not for the presents?

Let’s see if we can both find the true present of the holidays, Led. That’s the whole reason for the season, right? Lucky’s sermonette for the day.

Anyway, hey, I got a scheduled fire blazing I have to put out."

What? A scheduled fire? Lucky was confused.

Ha-ha…got’cha there, didn’t I? There’s a Fire Safety program we’re putting on down at the park today. We’re going to light a Christmas tree on fire and show the correct way to put it out…safely. Later, then, Dude.

Whew, the phone call being mercifully completed, Lucky could get about cleaning the house before he left his abode vacant for the week. Led, well, he could now get back to his iPhone and the twenty-three text messages waiting for him, sent in the last ten minutes, before he taught how to safely extinguish a Christmas tree fire down at the Fire Safety program.

CHAPTER TWO

Lora Galvin had been scheduling volunteer clergy aboard RDC ships for several years. Immensely competent in her duties, she nevertheless came to find that obtaining clergy who were available for the holiday cruises offered more than enough of a challenge. As she made her phone and email inquiries, she discovered early on that, understandably, most of the clergy were wrapped up in their own local parochial festivities during these high holyday seasons. Royal Danish Cruise lines had grown larger with the addition of several more modern cruise ships these past few years. With that extra number of ships, Lora found further difficulty in her venture to come up with