That Certain Saturday: My Journey as a Caregiver

By Madelyn Leigh

That Certain Saturday tells the true story of Madelyn S Leigh's struggle with her mother's illness from Madelyn's age of nine until she was sixty. Her father always being their rock. Beginning in 1960 with a pill which was proclaimed by doctors to be a miracle, Madelyn had to watch that medication prolong the pain and stigma of her loving and kind mother's problem rather than fix things. Her mother seemed to have the perfect life by being a contented housewife and very involved with her women's church group in the years prior to 1960. Her daughter Madelyn's childhood had been celebrated with the beauty of daily horseback rides which her mother enjoyed watching. The events of the morning that her mom's nerves came unraveled were something that no child should have to endure. Madelyn did endure it, but her life would never be the same. Psychiatric ward visits and hearing her mother be "labeled" made for a quick jump from childhood to adulthood at age nine. Two years later equaled two more nervous breakdowns and three out-of-state moves due to her dad being transferred because of his job. Her mother had the determination to keep trying to start over by driving again and getting involved with life. A first marriage for Madelyn and a wonderful baby boy, three years later, still did not help to normalize her situation. Her father had been the only stabilizing factor for her since young childhood. His diagnosis of cancer in the late 1980s was a huge awakening Life was a complete confusion for Madelyn while she was always wishing she was simply riding a horse, her favorite pastime. Modern medicines were prescribed for her mom after her last hospital stay and made a great difference. In the 1990s, Madelyn inherited all of the responsibilities of her mom. With her mom's mental condition greatly improving, her mom's physical condition began to deteriorate rapidly. The number of doctors for her care grew to nine. Exhaustion and insomnia took over Madelyn's life, but she kept going due to her love for her mother and the kindness of her mom under terrible circumstances. The coming years contained many changes, but she and her mom always remain together. The wait for Jesus had many challenges. It was a roller-coaster life, growing up in a dysfunctional family which never included alcohol, drug abuse, or physical or mental abuse. It was simply one person's personal struggle with a chronic illness which affected the whole family. The love of family and the love of animals defeated everything that was bad.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9781644588772

Book preview

Chapter 1

It was a Saturday morning. The year was 1960, and I was nine years old. I was awakened by the sounds of crashing lamps and furniture being flung out of our front door. My mother had come completely undone. My world would never be the same.

From the time I was born in 1951 until that awful day in 1960, my life had been about as perfect as I could have ever imagined. My dad had a terrific sense of humor. He kept us laughing. His only vice was going fishing every Saturday morning, which was fine since we loved to eat fish.

My mom was very loving and kind, besides being beautiful. She never seemed to get angry. It was as though she had no temper. I never gave them much to get mad about anyway because all I really wanted to do was to ride the neighbor’s horses. This I did every day during the summer, and I could not have been happier.

During school time, Mom would be my classroom mother, and she always made me so proud. When she walked in the school room, loaded down with cupcakes or cookies, all the kids would say, wow! then tell me how pretty she looked. She would just smile and put her head down because she was also very shy.

Her work at home seemed endless. The regular chores of cleaning, ironing, and cooking were only a part of her week. She always found time for coffee with a neighbor lady who needed to talk, or she would go to a meeting of her ladies’ church group of twenty-five or more, or she would spend time sewing clothes for me. I was painfully skinny, and we could never find anything to fit, so Mom made my clothes and did that beautifully too. I remembered getting off the school bus on snowy afternoons, and she would have hot chocolate and freshly baked cookies waiting for me. She was the best Mom ever. My life was wonderful.

Chapter 2

The words mental illness were not in our vocabulary. No one in Mom’s or Dad’s family had ever experienced this behavior manifesting itself. We did not understand what was happening to Mom. As I look back, I think her first symptom was insomnia. I could remember her walking up and down our hall at night, which was really unusual. Her next symptom was mumbling to herself and having frequent crying episodes. Next came her saying off the wall statements that I did not understand. One day, she had an actual argument with a neighbor, which was completely out of her character.

As I watched her spiral downward into someone I didn’t know, I was very frightened and wanted Daddy to do something. I could not imagine what was going through this normally very strong-minded man’s thoughts. The back of his neck had broken out in sores. I later found out that the sores were attributed to his nerves. My Mom’s sisters came from another state to see her, but when they left, they just seemed afraid. Daddy and I were on our own.

He continued to try to talk her out of her strange thoughts. She turned to her Bible, which I was sure would help, but instead, she began to write notes about what she had just read. She really got involved in her notes, and one day, I snuck a peek at them. I was a smart little fourth grader, but I could make no sense out of those notes. It was as if someone from outer space had written them.

It was time for some outside help, but Daddy just kept going to work, and I kept it all inside and just kept going to school. This went on for a couple of months until that certain Saturday morning.

Chapter 3

Dad’s friend, Mr. James had come over early that morning, and since I was sleeping, I can only imagine that Daddy was outside with the boat already hooked up and ready to go. Daddy was a very private man, so I seriously doubt if he had told any of his friends what was going on at our house. So it was just me and Mom after they left, and cell phones had not been invented. Daddy would not return until late afternoon.

Seeing my thirty-eight-year-old Mother, in her pedal-pusher pants and sleeveless blouse, hurling furniture with superhuman strength onto our front lawn was a scene I would never be able to erase from my mind, ever. I became hysterical and began screaming for her to please stop. She explained that she was simply cleaning house as she smashed a pair of her high-heeled shoes into the bedroom door. All the while, during all this chaos, she never tried to harm me.

This was where God stepped in. He sent me to the telephone book to find her best friend’s phone number. She lived just across the street, but I was not about to leave Mama. I had the need to protect her, but I didn’t know how. Little did I know that this feeling of protecting her would remain with me for the rest of her life, another fifty-one years.

I somehow had found Miss