The Everything Fox, and Miscellanea

By Stewart Berg

Listing of contents along with short summaries:

"The Everything Fox" -- A story of the grandchild of the great Reynard the Fox, following him as he makes his own mark on the world

"'"Twin" or "Twain?"'"-- A story of two sides to what might not be the same story

"Hemingway on Twain" -- An essay in prose that shortly reviews a long-standing review

"'Can The Reader Ever Fall In Love?'" -- A story of a story in a story

"The Zenith of the Neo-Anti-Environmentalists" -- A story of an election-year movement that is determined to take the fight to its enemy

"A Little Jefferson" -- An essay in quote at those in need of advice

"A Glimpse Inside The Ballpark" -- A story of what currently takes place about the plate

"Some 'Modern Chivalry'" -- An essay in quote at those in need of advice, the second

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stewart Berg
• Release date: Sep 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005833756

Stewart Berg

Stewart Berg is a 2014 graduate of Pacific Lutheran University. He lives in Austin, Texas.

Book preview

THE EVERYTHING FOX, AND MISCELLANIA

By Stewart Berg

Published by Falling Marbles Press

Copyright Stewart Berg 2022-2023

Smashwords Edition

The Everything Fox updated in May 2023 to reflect paperback edition

The Zenith of the Neo-Anti-Environmentalists first appeared at Unlikely Stories Mark V

Contents

The Everything Fox

Part II

Part III

Part IV

‘Twin’ or ‘Twain?’

Hemingway on Twain

Can The Reader Ever Fall in Love?

The Zenith of the Neo-Anti-Environmentalists

A Little Jefferson

A Glance Inside the Ballpark

Some Modern Chivalry

THE EVERYTHING FOX

PART I

A generation following the overthrow of the Animalic Empire at the hands of the sons of the fox Reynarlemagne, which is a series of events that the Dutch original of our story, to our great detriment, chose not to include, the various rumps had devolved into separate kingdoms, thusly becoming foreign to one another and openly hostile. This breakdown in form quite naturally led to a breakdown in general, and the growing chaos slowly enveloped all, forcing every animal, from lion to hare, out of his home or castle, and the world was now a tribalistic field of war.

At the time of our story, which happened to be that of the days surrounding Halloween, the most formidable of these petty kingdoms was under attack. Like each of the rumps, this small state still referred to itself in the terms of the Animalic Empire; however, its lands had recently undergone a full season of unpunished raids from its neighbors, and the result was that the raiders had become emboldened then confederated, soon driving all the realm’s animals out of their homes and into a large, barren field. Here, then, the residents of this rump set up their tents, thereby forming a new Capital.

On one side, the field was bordered by a wide river, so there was little concern of attack from that quarter. The riverbank, however, contained the ruins of a few watchtowers of old, from back in the days of prosperity when the commerce of the Empire had brought its rivers under navigation, and these relics were quickly garrisoned. Multiple appeals from the Fortifier’s Union, which was, of course, in charge of the fortifications, had called for the stones of the old watchtowers to be converted to defenses elsewhere, but these requests, when reaching those in overall charge, had gone summarily denied; for though death and decay had lost to the animals the ability to themselves build and use water vessels, they were not willing to be certain that this ability had been likewise lost elsewhere.

The other three sides of the new Capital featured no impediments to movement, whether river, hill, or forest; accordingly, these sides had featured a series of earthworks for as long as the realm’s court had been in its present location. The recent flood of refugees, which included every animal in this section of the old Land of All Beasts, had swelled the radius of the animals’ tents, and on all sides, their numbers, practically overnight, passed beyond the bounds of the established defenses. Those in charge had, of course, responded appropriately, and an outer series of earthworks were begun, though these new fortifications could not, due to sheer practicality, match in size and surety the inner series.

Naturally, the new defensive works were within the purview of the Fortifier’s Union, and due to the immensity of their importance, they were regarded as the personal responsibility of the Union’s Chief Fortifier, a bull by name of Wirke. The grandson of the bull Borre who had faithfully served the last of the lions to rule as King of All Beasts, Wirke had entered the Fortifier’s Union at a young age, and the career had been an escape for him from following the path of his father, which had been that of a zealous soldier who dies young. Moreover, the bull’s early-age large size had made the Fortifier’s Union the most available profession to him, and also due to his size, he had advanced rather rapidly, such that, through the use of a few friends in the right places, he had recently secured for himself the position of Chief Fortifier.

On the evening when work on the outer defenses commenced, Wirke stood receiving updates inside the small tent that operated as his office. Before the bull were his two Deputy Fortifiers, and each was flanked by a number of their favored Lieutenants. The series of reports had been proceeding routinely for roughly an hour, and Wirke found himself looking out over the waters of the nearby river, marveling at the sunset that dazzled in its wake.

Wirke’s subordinates were, of course, well aware of the Chief Fortifier’s tendency to contemplation. As frequent victims, they had become inured to the unseemliness, and they had lately become so used to the bull’s lack of professionalism that they even began to look upon it as that which was as welcome as a vacation; for the evident error was that which made he with power over them both weaker and slightly at their mercy, which the juniors understood as being the basis for their own strength. Thus, when Wirke would daydream, those with him would sigh, and then, so long as it remained unseen, they would wink amongst themselves.

There was, however, one subordinate of the bull who took particular notice of his penchant for deep, inexplicable thought, and this was the ox Hamel. Like Wirke, Hamel had a pedigree that included famous names, and he, too, had a grandfather who served the court of the last lion to be considered King of Kings. For the past few seasons, Hamel had served in the post of Head Quartermaster of the Fortifiers; however, as with all animals of the time, there was neither cap nor definition to his ambition, and he thus saw the appointment of Wirke, a younger animal, as an inevitable threat to his life, livelihood, and even very being, if such could be claimed. Moreover, the ox had recently taken the step of acquiring a new batch of friends, and he believed them to be as well-positioned as any other.

As Hamel performed his duties that evening along the riverbank, he watched Wirke as much as was imperceptible, and as per usual, he mentally charted every instance that appeared to show a lacking in his boss. Indeed, it was Hamel who, earlier than even Wirke himself, first perceived that the Chief Fortifier possessed a particularly absent mind that evening. The longer Hamel watched, the more hopeful he became, and his self-promotional vigil seemed so near its end that the very night, as it came on, seemed to be taking on the colors of a finish line.

A bad case at a bad time! the ox said to himself, and there was so much glee on his lips that he licked them. Here, indeed, may be my chance for my rightful feed; for I well know those about the bull. Their presence shall not leave my head, and whatever I may see, I can make each witness. This may very well be it!

Wisely, Hamel did not abandon his post in order to inform on Wirke. Instead, being one who understood any undelivered blow to be an unpredictable one, he remained where and as he was, neither indicating what he knew nor how much while, at the same time, not ignoring any further ammunition that further actions of Wirke might afford him. As it was, the ox would be able to accuse the bull of engaging in intense thought during a night that, even morseso than those that preceded it, was one of general alarm. Hamel, however, was hopeful for more, and he had a suspicion that he was not being greedy.

Meanwhile, in the tent of the Chief Fortifier, the elder of Wirke’s two Deputies, a bear of illustrious parentage named Bruin, was in the opening words of his summation of the summaries of his lieutenants. The other Deputy Fortifier was an ox named Hamel, who was the nephew of the Fortifier’s Head Quartermaster, and he had already performed his own over-summary, so the meeting was nearing its end, though this end, by its very nature, would take a long while.

Suddenly, however, into the midst of the discussions appeared one of the Chief Fortifier’s personal aides. Brought up into his profession well, this animal did not insist on his presence, and for several moments, the narration of updates continued; in fact, it was the Head Quartermaster, whose own office was located opposite Wirke’s, who was the first to notice the change in the tent of the Chief Fortifier. When the speaking Deputy did become aware of a new, unlawful presence among the meeting, he stopped his words in the middle of one of them. Consequently, Wirke was roused, and thus, he opened his eyes.

With a quick gesture, Wirke brought the aide to him, and then, nearly as quickly, after few words, the aide was dismissed, disappearing the way that he had come. In place of the aide, a new personage then entered through the flaps of the tent; however, this new showed none of the hesitation of the old, and he immediately made his way to the center of the room, filling it as if his own.

Lieutenant Cartographer Bunnie, Wirke said with evident surprise, and he made his way forward with an extended hand. Things are, I think, a little far along for a design change.

The rabbit in question gave neither reciprocation nor evident condemnation to Wirke’s lightheartedness, and he remained in the pose of one on business, chilling the scene considerably. Of a pedigree with no well-known names, Bunnie was a young animal who took his future seriously; accordingly, he never missed moments for such advantageous ambivalence.

I bear the below, the Lieutenant Cartographer simply replied, placing in Wirke’s hand a document.

The note in question bore the results of a Senior Cartographer vote, and Wirke had merely to read its title before understanding its general meaning.

This cannot be right, he uttered.

It received the three-of-five, Bunnie replied matter-of-factly.

This reference to the legal indisputability of a Senior Cartographer majority silenced Wirke, and he read through the rest of the short document without comment. By the note’s end, the bull learned that the Cartographer’s Union, by way of the vote of its five Seniors, had damned all that was currently being done for the Capital’s defensive network; further, the damnation came alone, lacking any sort of deliverance to go along with it.