Tantric Relating: Relationship Advice to Find and Keep Sex, Love and Romance
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About this ebook
Learn How to Communicate to Keep the Love Fires Burning
With all the talk going on it seems we must be relating but our results show otherwise. With over half of relationships calling it quits, this book will teach you how to create a relationship that not only beats the odds but surpasses your dreams.<
Catherine Auman
Catherine Auman, LMFT is a licensed therapist with advanced training in both traditional and spiritual psychology with thirty years successful professional experience helping thousands of clients. She has headed nationally-based psychiatric hospital programs as well as worked through alternative methodologies based on ancient traditions and wisdom teachings.
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Tantric Relating - Catherine Auman
CONTENTS
Introduction
TANTRIC RELATING MINDSET
To Tell the Truth or Not, That Is the Question
Permission to Be Unkind
Don’t Rock the Boat, Baby
The Spiritual Path of Relating
Relating Through the Body
Agreements to Talk about Everything
The Process of Clearing
Clearing the Past
Thank You for Bringing That Up
Really, Until It’s Done
Space to Be Upset
Praise, Thanks, and Flirting
When in Doubt, Touch
Relating Romantically
The Sky’s the Limit
TANTRIC RELATING EXERCISES
EXERCISE #1: Envisioning Your Lover as the God or Goddess They Truly Are
EXERCISE #2: Do You Want to Tell the Truth?
EXERCISE #3: Making Agreements
EXERCISE #4: Clean Sweep
EXERCISE #5: Raise the Bar
EXERCISE #6: What Do We Mean by Spiritual Relationships?
Acknowledgments
About the Author
The Tantric Mastery Series
Connect with Catherine Auman
Works by Catherine Auman
INTRODUCTION
We relate differently when the Other is the Beloved.
Compare: In contemporary culture, the other person is frequently seen as an enemy or someone to compete with or be jealous of. The other is someone you can’t trust and must play skillful games with if you want to get ahead. You’ve studied ways to improve communication because you’re into personal and spiritual growth, but you haven’t found what’s out there as helpful as you hoped because, as in conventional dating and mating, the underlying premise beneath the conventional worldview will never work. Tantra offers the antidote to all this dis-ease, a radical perspective on relating.
With all the talking going on out there it seems as if we must be relating, but our results show otherwise. With over half of all relationships calling it quits, with nations and tribes at war, and with simple civility toward our fellow humans taking a nosedive—perhaps the way we are relating is contributing to a crisis in communication rather than making things better.
As a person serious about personal and spiritual growth, you may have experienced relating as a major challenge—it is for most people. You may have felt that you were talking too much or too little, that you need to keep who you are hidden away, concealing the extent of your hopes and dreams, or that you were being too bold or too shy. This confusion showed up in your romantic life as secrets, lots of crying, broken trust, and in the end, the death of the coupledom. You kept reading self-help books and online articles, but rapport with would-be partners spiraled quickly downward.
You’ve most likely tried being a positive, upbeat person, not sharing things that your partner might not like. You’ve even experimented with mind-reading and subterfuge. You’ve kept your opinions and unhappiness to yourself, or shared them only with your therapist and friends. The fights and blowups inexplicably continued.
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist working with individuals and couples, I’ve noticed that conventional suggestions for improving communication don’t help much. Active listening, still prescribed by therapists and coaches, has been scientifically proven not to work¹. Scheduling special times to talk, practicing positivity, writing down criticisms, women speaking in different ways than men—when we remember to do these actions they might help, but when we forget, things get worse; and they’re hard to remember in the heat of things. These conventional techniques, while well-intended, do not stem the bleeding.
It was the tantric perspective that changed everything for me, as it was in dating and mating.