What To Do If Your Chute Doesn't Open!

By JF Carpenter

It is now essential to set up your trip to the planet's dying places: islands, glaciers, and people. Forget about doing things that never did make a difference: short showers, recycling, and cutting back on burgers. Live your life as if there is no tomorrow, buy a nuclear car, drink out of plastic bottles, and wear polyester again. If you're an optimist, maybe you'll want to undertake some job training for the new tomorrow: space shuttle attendant, crypt relocation, sea wall construction, cricket ranching, or above ground sanitation worker. There is not as much time as you'd imagine to get this done; the changes are already happening. So, after years of trying to make the world a better place, it's time to look defeat in the eyes and make the most of surrender.

 

Sarcastic, impudent, and politely offensive, these pages aim to get to those who aren't reading the five hundred-page discourses on climate injustices. This is a book for the masses. One to be read by politicians, business leaders, students, and everyone that needs a kick in the ass to take global warming more seriously.

• Language: English
• Publisher: TBD
• Release date: May 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9798886274790

Book preview

Overview

Well, it’s 2022, and we have increased our carbon emissions and methane leaks worldwide, and we are losing the global warming battle as recorded by most of the folks watching the numbers. This is clear from the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) report, August 2021, which signaled an alarm (code red) because of the lack of progress toward reducing global warming since the Paris Agreement, 2015. Also in late 2021, the United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP26) met for the twenty-sixth time but failed to record significant progress toward reducing CO2eq¹ in the atmosphere from the hugest emitting countries.

UN Secretary-General António Guterres opened COP26 with an urgent warning: We are digging our own graves … recent climate action announcements might give the impression that we are on track to turn things around. This is an illusion. Even in the best-case scenario, temperatures will rise well above 2 degrees Celsius (3.6 degrees Fahrenheit) and likely quite a bit higher. We are still heading for climate disaster. ²

It is not to say that there is not a broad group of sincere organizations and citizens of the world that have been/are working hard to curb the chemicals that threaten our existence. They are out there, but the job seems to be beyond the good people’s ability to guide the planet into a space that will allow humans to occupy earth for much longer. I know, we are not supposedto talk like that. The sanctioned position has always been blind optimism bolstered by a grin and the call to dig deeper, but today—or maybe it was sometime yesterday—the grin became grim, and the diggers have become reapers.

The simple facts have led us to a realization that must not be

mentioned; no, it’s not Lord Voldemort but some equally inconvenient truth.

We are not losing the global warming battle—the battle is lost!

Admittedly, this is an unpopular realization, but the forces that have been and are presently in power have little interest in

taking the necessary steps to reign in the established economic barons that rule the air of the world. As a result, we will have a host environment that will not at first be friendly and later will no longer be habitable by present-day homo sapiens.

Oh, I get it; if you believed me or science or the scientists that have been warning of this day for decades, you’d be asking, What can we do? We are (used to be) the most powerful nation in the world, and we will put a stop to this! But it doesn’t matter because the time has come, we are past the tipping point and there isn’t anything anybody can do to save the planet. Think massive meteor hurling directly at the earth from a galaxy far, far away. It is over for humans. From this point forward, isolated geographic