My Secret, Lies Naive’ and Truth

By Star Walker

This story is to inspire you. It is about truth and reality. I silenced the negativity and focused on positivity. Writing this story helped me accomplish my positive experience. The devil’s breath teaches you how to accept life’s challenges. I learned how to forgive and forget, and to acknowledge my wrongdoing.

I learned to always communicate and talk about your hardships and understand it. This is a journal of a lifetime. This journal made me depressed, and I tried to focus on my happiness, my voltages, learning and life. I learned the bated-breath, nervous, and excited state of anticipating what could happen.

I learned the pain of the violation of trust. I learned the innocence of over-trusting people who give me no respect. I learned I was naïve. I could express my emotions and experience lessons. It was like learning a woman’s lubrication system, and how to handle and deal with fake situations.

My life goes on, moving forward to happier thing. Accomplished things and taking the bitter with the sweet. I express myself. I learned to be my secret weapon and find happier days. I’m ready, I’m bold, and I’m beautiful. Trust God first and love others.

They say dreams do come true. I enjoy understand facts and motivate myself. My book is like a fingerprint, unique. A design created in a barcode image to fascinate and lure, captivate and charm.

It’s like building community traffic and resources. It’s a balance and a trend for our future and creativity. Speaker out your thoughts and imagination, bringing it to light, is a beautiful feeling.

Engaging ourselves into a world of fantasy, imagination, experiences, enjoyments, hopes, dream, and beliefs. I could changes our lives for the better.

They day practice makes perfect.

They say gray skies turn blue. They say books give wisdom. They say everyone needs someone. They say only love matters. You must trust someone. I trust in God. Ten toes down, no double dipping.


My friend’s name is dangerous to say. There is a place called hell, and sometimes I am here, I am there, in hell. But the only thing is life is what you make it. If you believe it is hell, that is what you see. It’s whatever you believe.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669821359

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Copyright © 2022 by Star Walker.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 04/14/2022

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[That is only the beginning chapters of my story. I don’t know exactly where it would end.]

She dreams and reality I’ll always remember this day. She’s eighteen years old out of High school. She and my sister-in-law were at my house having wine, and my mother was in our kitchen. Then Betty went to our kitchen and suddenly got light-headed, black finally, passed out, and collapsed over the kitchen chair.

The next thing Betty remembers is waking up in the hospital room. When she awakens, she wonders what just happened to her. In comparison, why didn’t I understand what was going on in my life? Then, finally, she looked at you, p and it was my mother standing there watching me.

She was being illogical, inconsistent, unclear, doubtful, and confused. It was a mystery challenging to understand. What’s my name she doesn’t remember? She is, I don’t bewilder and unaware of my memory, and so unable to think or speak clearly. Who am I, she asked?

She is Losing consciousness, between ten-twenty minutes contentedly apart.

Betty had three epilepsy seizures at once. My doctors are overly concerned Epilepsy is a central nervous system (neuro was logical) disorder in which brain activity causes seizures or periods of unusual behavior. she died and then came back; she was awakening back to life. starring

I had no breathing; she lost all oxygen flooding through my brain. Mother is very concerned, standing therewaShengng and starring, gazing, peering into my mahogany brown eye. She is frightened; she knows something is wrong. The hospital emergency doctor had me in the surgery examination room trying to understand why she was having so many seizures back.

She came back in one day. She had the first seizure she ever had in my lifetime. The doctor submitted me into an intensive care private hospital room. A Nurse watching me observing me. Is she right in the middle of a dream? Please help me understand. She sees my mother here. she believes, then arrived from South Carolina.

She traveled to the United States as a country girl. Now she’s in the city as a city girl.

She went to visit her sister, Mother sister was expecting her arrival. Mothers’ sister had introduced her to my Daddy. It was the first time my parents met each other. Mother has traveled a long distance. She got introduced to my father. That was the first time they met.

My Father is a respectable young man and is a highly active hard worker father. We didn’t have much, but society says my family was classified as a middle-class family. We’re a happy family and grateful to have a beautiful mother and a good-looking father. She is so thankful to have such a beautiful family.

Some said when she walks into a room you feel my strong presence spirit. It’s just confidence that’s the way to walk. We’re raised with strong bonds surrounded by strong ambitious black women. She had lots of confidence and lots of love surrounding me.

She was a fighter, that’s what gave me my confidence. She was blessed with this beautiful big, lovely family. Father was a hard-working man surviving paying the bills. Mother was a homemaker. In the seventies, we had no Lottery game back then. Factory workers didn’t make much money.

Back in the day sunroof top living in the sense with the gangster lean wowed, that’s a song we sing. Father envisioned too dared to take that chance to go to barber school to become a certified Barber and as a young black man purchased his own Barber Shop.

Father became a businessman entrepreneur. She didn’t understand that my father wanted to be a successful and rich businessman. She’s a child who didn’t know better. Mother and father were kind and were the sweetest, nicest people in the world.

My kindness emerges from my parents; it’s the family structure. She always protects my heart from that ungrateful person, she never holds back, she’s very opinionated, she speaks my mind and stands strong by it. She manages to control and respect people who disrespect me.

These whore and bitches stab you in the back it became I’m naive to forgive people. She never sweats about trivial things. She focuses on important and traditional things. My mother has fourteen siblings, three brothers, and eleven sisters. She would call the sister who teaches stability. They would respectfully keep things in order.

As a family, it kept us wise and understanding, and poise. Together we are strong and wise. And practicing a college education is important to my family. And family traditions stay strong. We are all competitive families, who put their all into us, education, wisdom, beautiful, captivating, charming, classy, good-looking team.

It’s a challenge to make heroic efforts to achieve or obtain something for success and be perfect. It’s not easy, it’s challenging and demanding. Everyone wants to be that leader. And accomplish that leadership. And be the champion and surpass all rivals in a competition. That finds it just gives a person confidence and strength to become a warrior. To run a marathon with an injury. The Gold Medals are like defeating the Olympics.

Everyone wants to be the champion of the world. It’s got to be an enthusiastic moment in life to achieve. It’s a wonderful thing. The talent shows have talent. Every year we have stage shows in the theater. See who got it to sing with contestants on stage. And dance contest, And who’s the smartest Valley Victorian. Everyone had their circle. They would spend time together with everyone who wanted to fit in. And all of us could fit in together.

‘Truth and ‘Naivete’

We would have couple’s horror night we would get together my boyfriend Lloyd and I and Cousin Hazel and her boyfriend and cousin April and her boyfriend and Betty and her man Lloyd, we decide what nourishment we serve cocktails apple martini cocktail pina colada cocktail food, edible pizza, chicken, and a salad, its spooky horror, sinister... times.

And my community neighborhood was exceptionally clean, had block captains keep everything organized in the nineteen-eighties, and respectful neighborhoods working for families. She has refreshments in her early twenties. She lives with my sibling’s oldest brother Rich and middle brother James and the only girl Betty in my mediate family. Father continues foreseeing his dream in his Barber Shop selling candy and lottery tickets trying to get rich.

Mother, we called her South Philly girl. She started working at James’s Grocery corner store. She sometimes worked as a cashier. My mother managed the store and was aspiring just like daddy. My father fought in Vietnam. From: 1 November 1955 to the 30 April 1975’ War. And War agent Orange wasn’t the only deadly chemical used in Vietnam chemical warfare. It is the use of the toxic properties of chemical substances to kill.

Injure or incapacitate an enemy in warfare and associated military operations. She remembers lots of people got ill, sick, and died. That’s crazy. She vividly remembers she has flashbacks of memories. My father made it home with his family. A story told to me by my father had a huge imagination. He always tells me stories about him. And my uncle would call me Betty joe.

She hated that name sometimes and loved it too. Mother gave me a country name. She is a city girl just like my mother. She was a cute little chubby baby. She just knows She’s beautiful and has strong confidence and lots of love. Society said the middle class was poor, but we knew how to get what we wanted.

My oldest brother Rich, an active and occupied hustler, always kept the money. My role models knew how to get it. At sixteen he met a beautiful young lady. Her family didn’t mind, they fell in love, and she moved into our house. We all love her very much. He would always brag about everything. And his girlfriend moved in the nineteen seventy-eight’ and lived with us for years. Mother enjoyed helping people, she didn’t have a problem with supporting others. My youngest brother went to college and the valley Victorian of the family.

She always thought she wasn’t smart enough. She was okay, she could have been better, but she got good grades sometimes, but she is worried about partying. My brother James focused on the books. She partied without a good picture. She’s headstrong, stubborn sometimes, and doesn’t want to listen.

She has lots of regrets, missed opportunities to live a simple life. Mother always says you love expensive cars, everything costs so much money. But hanging with the wrong people, some act like your friend but, they’re not. They don’t have your best interest in you. Especially in the streets they love one day and hate you the next.

The drug in the eighties was cocaine. Cocaine damaged people’s lives and became a state of emergency. Mother and her sister were married to brothers, two sisters married two brothers. They were close bonds. In the neighborhood, we had a circle of friends. We all have a tradition of always having community events on special occasions.

On Holidays, block parties we had nourishment cooking Barbecue food. And refreshment beverage, cooking, preparing cuisine food soda, water, punch, iced tea. liquid drug dancing.

The neighborhood had a big musical band. The members would play music, some friends would sing songs. It’s lots of fun, some people get drunk and intoxicated. We had some smart, intelligent organized residents living on the block. That kept things organized

The people would travel from all over the city to visit. And we enjoyed it, with a lot of excitement, music blasting loud, plenty of food, everyone wanted that prominent position to oversee the special occasion. Yes, they’re the big enchilada VIP boss. She wanted to get some Yayo cocaine white powder white cloud and take it to the house, and everyone would be getting intoxicated, with liquor and wine.

People are Falling fainting on the floor. Everyone was getting Incredibly high. So many lies and secrets were never told. People were in the dark about these drug habits. There are real people snorting cocaine and smoking cocaine in the pipe, she smoked cocaine in the pipe periodically, snoring a little bit, people were smoking cocaine in the pipe.

Addiction becomes a habit, it controls your life, it isn’t a proud thing to do. We would be smoking all day long and spending days and lots of money. That was in the ’80 she has the world ahead of me and doesn’t know what’s coming. But we had gangsters in our family, sometimes we got it free, the black Italian mafia, black mafia, and the freemasons.

It depends on which group you’re in, what table you’re sitting at, we would have wild parties, orgy parties all over the city, town, different states, bikini swim parties, the best bikini contest wins a prize, nice and expensive lavish Gala’s, beautiful pretty girls, extremely attractive men, dashing elegant fashion, exclusive style. Charming, seductive, we had bikini contests, won prizes, all the drugs, and liquid refreshments you need.

And wanted it to be like the Gala’s occasion event of the year, a new year party. You see on television unbelievable you would have to be there to see it. A Gala, fashion fabulous fantasy extraordinary, ecstatic wonderful time. Going on, it wasn’t for everyone, it’s such a swinging crazy vibrational environment. She never had to spend money, she never bought drugs. My friend or man would lavish me with money and drugs,

she kept our currency, she’s always had the men who had money and I chose, didn’t have to sleep with him, we lived very enthusiastically in crazy times, she never let the drugs and liquor control my life, she never let drugs control me, she would spew chuck up vomit, some people let drugs get the best of them, losing a job and house vehicle all kind of things and dying. She would get exasperated and angry when a person harms herself.

My father loved his sports. He was the pitcher of the woodland giants’ baseball team and played center field with the woodland giants. Ernest Banks, an American professional baseball player, would autograph our photos and baseballs. He’s His best friend, father always got so happy when Ernest would come over for dinner. Mother prepares dinner, she loves to cook. She remembers those moments vividly.

Then in the year the early eighties, my father was stricken with that deadly disease stomach cancer. In my stomach, it was such a horrific moment in my life. She loved my father; he was my world. My sister-in-law and I became besties. We were remarkably close; She loved that girl. We Went places shopping getting high together in the year the early eighties. We went to dinner, music concerts, back in the day.

She was sixteen when she moved into our home. We weren’t the richest shed in town. Nor the prettiest but cute. She loved me some with no doubt, you know people tried to steal your joy. My brother Rich at a youthful age bought his first brand new car. The style back in the day was having a light blue vehicle.

Rich had a genuinely nice Chevrolet Camaro, he knew that man couldn’t tell him anything, he had a nice vehicle, a beautiful girlfriend, in his arms. He worked at an excellent job. Then he bought his first home, a nice house with exquisite furniture. This guy was such a nice, handsome, ridiculously funny,

sense of humor kind of man. Mother always prepared our meals every day. On Friday night, the fish night is every Friday. Spaghetti every Thursday, hot dog bake beans every Wednesday, fried chicken on Tuesday, Pizza every Monday, and dessert every day. We had a customary routine each week sitting down at the dining room table having dinner. She remembers we were at the dining room table with this knob on the door, so mother went to the door and a friend said a twelve-year-old boy got run over by a train.

And he died, he was a close friend of our family. Sadly, he died. We lived on an outlet on a dead-end street. A nice neighborhood, behind our homes, are the Amtrak trains. Riding and traveling behind our homes. They had all sorts of assorted products on the train. All kinds of products today were turkeys they were stealing and selling.

AND he died, the train hit him up in the air and he came down falling and hit the ground body twisted like a cookie and died instinctively. It’s a sad situation, our streets were so nice and clean and respectful neighborhood nice families’ homes. My first boyfriend was about sixteen. He loved me. She dated him for a couple of years.

He treated me well and he had a lot of respect for me. She hurt him and broke his heart. He cried so hard about it. But