The Chronicle of Aladdin

By E. Jak Neumann

The craziest saxophonist has written the craziest book in the form of a satire manual which includes an ancient god and a true revolution.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookTrail Publishing
• Release date: Apr 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637678053

Book preview

Copyright © 2022 E. Jak Neumann

Paperback: 978-1-63767-804-6

eBook: 978-1-63767-805-3

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022904715

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Ordering Information:

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Printed in the United States of America

Contents

0. Satire Handbook. What, How, Why to Write

1. Democracy Cheat Sheet

2. The Swimming Prince*

3. Demonic Chronicle

4. Grounded Manuscript

Яlяddin Яl Яimяniя

ANARCHIC JOURNAL

2014-2021

-Civic education and political culture for high school-

-Drawn upon seven years around Romanian centenary-

-Sets up key topics for creativity and harmony of society-

-Provides necessary immunization for the first steps to satire-

-Romanian vaccine against communism with 120% success rate and still counting-

Focal: Race

Defrost of the Soviet empire in the ’80s promoted American jazz on Ukrainian radio on ultra short waves. This marked author’s adolescence in the Danube Delta. As a kid he taped on a Russian machine jammed music programs on short waves from Radio Free Europe and Voice of America. Twenty years later in Transylvania he found that the radio of his gigging van is limited to one tune on long waves called Romania Regional. It is the birth time for ‘The Man and His Bee’.

The saxophonist did a solo run in the 2014 general elections. He made no compromise and received no help. The 250,000 signature form remained almost blank. These articles document from the position of journalist what has been gained for he was not voted President.

The book hints a new Race: ‘Research for Adaptive Civic Education’. It gives birth to Focal: ‘The Faculty of Occasioning of Civic Artistic Liberation’. An intuitive expression of mathematics is the music. It harmonizes understanding when it is improvised. Discover the news written by creative artists.

The Unheard Sound of Understanding

History is enacted by practical un-verbalized understanding. Action is inner speech. Is language the only instrument of thought? Art has own door backstage of imagination. Romanian art is laughing at troubles. If each nation had a civic education manual, the Romanian one would be the funniest.

The book is born online as a reaction to journalism. It centers Aladdin to story telling as a mirror to political alter ego. Who sees Government as the magic lamp? When is becoming king more important than conquering the Princess’ heart? Who is writing the story of Genie?

Great news: I am not running anymore. I woke up President one morning such as Kafka woke up a beetle. I look at politics and I am parallel to it. I share bread with impatient people for their thirty pieces of silver worth of sacrifice. They always need more.

Who knows Jesus does not know Aladdin. Charlie needs Mohammed in order to exist. Some identities include others, even if they are opposites. The story of all stories reveals a dark or invisible side: only death can truly speak to whole life.

Death is the consciousness that provides elements of reality. Each of us is solar system and non-existence is the void that separates us. To reach each other, we use thoughts. People are bearers of ideas and ideas are bearers of people. Thoughts use people.

Thoughts are separating fences and opened gates. Non-existence also has other gates than death. Happiness is the imagination of help coming from ignorance or non-existence. Happiness is a hoax that unravels and this way it manages to become reality.

I do not need to learn. I know everything. I want to talk to your boss. You are not teacher. Happiness belongs to imagination and not to knowledge. What if woman was made first and man came after? We can trust God.

0

Satire Handbook. What, How, Why to Write

Politics: How relevant is it for progress?

Satire is written by one who does not enjoy things appreciating in the West, knowing them from home.

It addresses progressives who offer help in politics as the domain which comes to improve everything.

It starts from attitudes which frequently become traps by sanctioning or idealizing good faith and patriotism.

It outlines less highlighted relations in order to alleviate resentment, help decoding fake news and improve mental states and debates.

It considers the circulation of fables which are improbable to communicate publicly like the rabbits who teach courage to bees who teach freedom.

It highlights frequently used unclear concepts: The parallel state is what establishment does not recognize about itself; The renewal of political class is the mirror which changes before reality does.

It addresses journalists and communication professionals to exemplify reflection, analysis and self-analysis which include the teleological perspective.

Interest in politics is not always harmful, always boring, always justified or deserved, but it is always necessary.

This book aims at the first time voters who discuss with parents or teachers (age 16+). It is a satire in form of a diary of parallel President 2014-2021.

It includes demo Presidential platform, Water demo party, Cubic demo activity, demo letter to Donald Trump, Cityfest demo project and sets out golden rules of journalism.

The application on political realm of natural philosophy is reflected in the choice of chapters. The first is theoretical (Air), the second is practical (Water), the third is critical (Earth) and the fourth ideal (Fire).

The articles are dated in order to allow correlation with certain events. Some facts which do not represent author’s vision are included in order to question reality. Ideas are useful when being wrong if they manage to form a truly personal opinion through healthy debate.

‘Author is the theorist of Avow, the Actual Veritable Order of the World.’ (Washington Coast)

‘A cheerful and detailed description of the weapons and strategies experienced by the public’ (The Evening Truth)

‘An insight report on the world’s first televised revolution and its proposals’ (Daily Email)

‘Belongs in the pocket of every journalist’ (Babadag Chronicle)

‘Everything the President and the Party hide’ (Today’s Event)

‘Here’s to propaganda: Meet your maker’ (All Sports)

‘The book about you is not written by itself’ (Chris Ian Anderson)

On January 8, 2021, guided by Cătălin Chirilă and Irina Cangeopol to the Holy Monastery of the Cave of St. John Cassian in Târgușor Dobrogea, I commemorated one year since the departure of writer brother Bogdan Lupescu. At the written stone, after worshiping at the holy spring, I made connection with Saint John Cassian of the character Casențio from ‘The Man And His Bee’ which I presented at the Mask Theater of New Bucharest in 2011. For its debut on June 11th I made an English poster: ‘Incoming Growl of Planetosaurus Nealterarta’.

After ten years, I publish the poem here. The connection between the words I discover unveils gradually. Planetosaurus is only heard and it reads Nealterarta. He is the developer of Caesar’s world along millennia. Caesar Casențio has access to the church through a Holy Father. The rules are seldomly greeted with joy but with a groan of effort. Intervention into Caesar’s world is essential. Planetosaurus gives satire for better understanding of sometimes necessary integration.

The Man And His Bee. Incoming Growl of Planetosaurus Nealterarta

1

as audience enters the hall, the dishwasher works

together with the washing machine

seated face to face they play cards on the massive clock tick

while in 1994 in the city of Tulcea

the first advertisement shot by the local TV

gathers a well-dressed child

with black boots, white stockings and sailor suit

a caring grandmother who gives cookies

an old-fashioned suit in dialogue with a plump guy

a kid playing with a camera

two women with brocades on the way to a table full of bottles

the image of Bruce Lee onscreen

a craftsman with trousers tied with string

a few mouths ready to drink

garlands and Christmas lights

they dance to the music of the saxophone

they are perfectly synchronized, then detach and release

each by himself, as in Pina Bausch

then together again

and all around just plenty

2

everything is still and the clock is heard

someone mounts the screen, the projector appears drunk

we are ready to watch cartoons

Tom and Jerry fade out, the screen turns upside down

the text appears in giant granite letters

(cover your ears and scream, because your head hurts)

EVERYONE WANTS TO USE

REFRIGERATOR AND WASHING MACHINE

VACUUM CLEANER AND DISHWASHER

BUT WERE YOU NOT HAPPIER WITHOUT THEM?

5. STAY IN A ROOM WITHOUT A DOOR

4. WHERE NO SOUND WAS MENTIONED BY JOHN COLTRANE

3. WHERE THE RABBIT LIVES HAPPILY

2. WITH CAT, HAMSTER, BEETLE, AMIBA,

1. PLANT, TREE, MICROBE

REALLY BUSY AND NOT FAKING IT

THE NEIGHBOR IS A FRIEND AND THE ENEMIES FAR AWAY

BETWEEN PEOPLES WE DO NOT KNOW

AND WHO DO NOT SEE BETTER PLACE FOR

WEAPONS AND AMMUNITION BUSINESS

and fat grandmothers cook all the time

and give diet advice

and their slender, angular spouses are hidden in smoky rooms

with music made by humanoids

great grandparents are holy

they know the secret for a long time

you did not find

a more interesting discussion

it is hard to be with them

because everyone wants them

3

the man enters the theater

he has a knife and looks like a pirate

he gets on the ship safely

once, you saw the sea

and you remember the sound of an unknown instrument

with impossible details

which remained so long

that you must remind it

and try, try, try

the first sound of the alarm clock hurts you

you tried many ringtones

and finally

you wake up when you wake up

and ready dressed, you make it call

that is how it sounds best

a guitar sends its voice everywhere

once, the gods entrusted their peace

see the slaves under stone windows

wiping off bloody swords

Pandora’s box changed everything

and over the splendid carpet, in the mosaic bathtub

lays the young heir

surrounded by chickens’ and pig’s feet

blood flows down the wall to mix with mud

4

Casențio is seen from ancient times

the king of all Igurs and Penovians

who ruled his peoples for 30,000 years

when words were not widely used

but agreement took place more often

they were born, lived and died so differently that

women were frozen in admiration

they laughed if there was time for what they specialized in

few see before Casențio and no wonder

millions and millions murmured his name without knowing

whoever inherited his blood was celebrated

his features were recognized, it was the best thing possible

something they all had in common

many traveled and told stories and made music

others were judges and were buried after death, others were soldiers

others lived in isolation until time was ripe

and their deeds were sung and placed in calendars and in movement of stars

they all traveled and replaced each other

anyone became Casențio upon meeting

sometimes at a distance

the light on their faces was reproduced with a combination of plants

which was no secret, and which cured disease

but it was tiring for some

and they said, ‘So much constant attention, so many precise recipes

make one asleep, let these Casențio wait’

that was what they thought, and it was not illegal

for the substances, the forms, the noise and the attitude gave them science

5

there is a candle in front of the room

the honey in her cup had not melted and a pleasant aroma remained

after a while, she went out in the Sun

the forest called her louder than ever and behold her

running between branches and all sorts of traps, some set by herself

she sometimes remained motionless listening to life

the birds and squirrels were eating

she fell asleep among growing plants, sending their seeds to the ground

it was dark when she arrived at the cave

her hand trickles down the rough, colorful face of her ancestor’s rock

‘we are all actors on a text of the eternal poetry of life

and we utter our remarks with wonderful clumsiness

it happened to me yesterday to meet a bee that annoyed me

until I decided to let it live

and it told me that we used to hang out together long time ago

raw meat eaters we died embraced on the sea

I return to the village, I finish the job

Igurs and Penovians, we are all bound by Casențio’s blood

the same food, the same clothes, the same words

war has no basis

it took me a hundred years to remember the sound of a Penovian flute

before the war, your grandparents took me to the seashore

where he called me

Casențio

when I started hearing what I was not listening

I am ready to see him again, go tell them to sharpen the big spears

I will follow my bee, thrown up into the air’

6

your story has no beginning. You do not remember it

what you are being told about it is improbable and not worth mentioning

rough and empty as the earth is your face

which you do not pursue, for this reason

it is enough or not enough hundreds of faces

which you see every day

an instability that says all about you

what to expect from these faces you learned and learned

you want to be without error

for the troubles they cause

hang over you like a chasing gray cloud

always others appear

it is the time to put the mystery into words

as a saving prayer

the names come back with small variations

each period has its taste

you met Akash and Bernard but did not meet Xi and Zee

although you wrote about them

maybe they are female

only a woman ends everything

the feminine has the gift to begin and to end

the masculine has the role of filling up and varying

subtle and vague are the sexual connotations of the life that you lead

how well said to ‘lead’ life, as if it were a pack

where else will it lead other than

phenomenal energy of moments of great disappointment

the cruel truth that undresses and burns

7

on the edge of the good life you promised yourself

there is a bus full of useless clothes and plates, discs and papers

many of them unrecognized

you do not set it on fire in exchange of formless and void

you ask the driver about health

careful not to get too involved

you exchange lives according to the will of its windows

you have on headphones several jazz tapes

which strangers copied for you

in ecstatic moments of loneliness

when you take them out of the backpack, hosts are terrified

as if they should listen them all at once or one at a time

the secret lies in the choice

there are moments when nothing compares to Thelonius Monk

unlike those dominated by Sonny Rollins

the one you nicknamed ‘Solly Rolling’

according to the Bulgarian DJ in the summer of ’84

nothing depends on these decisions but your dazed feelings

fear of the melon seller**

is not the same as your fear of the melon seller

they are far