Steady, Boys, Steady!

By C. R. Benstead

The author says this book is a profound study of our incomparable Navy, and indeed it is, but the guileless solemnity with which he presents and explains a wealth of untoward incident combines Norfield's innocently literal interpretations to make it just as diverting as it is profound.

Beyond doubt there is no other like it. Both author and artist are out for fun. They take an impish delight in looking at things in every way but the normal and what they see loses nothing but their sense of period which is certainly as timeless as the sea itself. No extract can do justice to a book where every page is marked by hilarious misunderstanding, but mention of the sailmakers who were ordered not to wear any trousers when leaving the dockyards and the tremendous consequences in naval evolution that resulted, if Mr. Bestead is to be believed, will give some idea of the fare provided by a great service when seen through the eyes of experience. After all, it is truly said that only the great can laugh at themselves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
• Release date: Oct 28, 2011
• ISBN: 9781448206094

C. R. Benstead

Mr. C. R. Benstead, a graduate of Cambridge University, has been both soldier and sailor. In the First World War he was mentioned in despatches after the controversial Passchendaele battle in 1917, and won the Military Cross in the fighting near Amiens that followed the great German offensive in 1918. His book Retreat, written against the background of the ill-fated British Fifth Army, created world-wide interest. At the outbreak of the Second World War he was Meteorological Officer of the aircraft-carrier Furious, in which he continued to serve for over two years and he finished the war on the staff of the Commander-in-Chief, British Pacific Fleet. After retiring from the Navy, he was, at one time, Senior Proctor of the University.

Book preview

STEADY, BOYS, STEADY!

A Profound Study of the Royal Navy

by

C. R. BENSTEAD

Contents

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS

Chapter One

THE exact date when Britain rose from the sea has yet to be discovered, but there is no doubt that British Sea Power rose first. Naval History thus begins before ordinary history, and the British Navy is therefore extremely ancient and correspondingly honourable in both its conduct and its achievement. Nevertheless the inability of inferior nations to offer any sporting opposition in those early years makes that achievement rather dull, and, for the purpose of study, Naval History is accepted as starting in B.C.56 at—

QUIBERON BAY

The Battle of Quiberon Bay was fought because Julius Cæsar said he was going to invade Britain. The elder statesmen of the time, who were known as Ancient Britons, replied that this was an unprovoked threat of aggression and mobilized the Fleet; and the enemy, learning that British Naval Forces were at sea, at once took refuge in Quiberon Bay. Here they resisted all attempts at making them come out until the British Commander boldly went in and allowed them to sink his ships, thereby leading them to suppose they had won. These tactics lured Cæsar into Britain where his legions were leisurely castrated or interned in castra. Naval History thus begins with a Great Strategic Victory, and to commemorate it the Ancient Britons established the rate of A.B. in the naval service.

Interned in castra

Trade Boom Following Quiberon

The Battle of Quiberon Bay also marked the end of the Bello Calico by which Frenchmen were divided into three parts—Vichy, Fighting and Occupied—and forced to wear wool supplied to them by British enterprise (Adventurous Merchants, Ltd). This was fastened on with staples, and the influence of sea power on British industry is thus apparent.

Rise of the Danish Menace

The decision of the Ancient Britons to become Welsh made no difference to the British Navy because the Angular Saxons decided to become Britons, and there was no challenge to our supremacy at sea until the Circular Saxons or Danes also decided to become Britons—which was unfortunate for them because the Angular Saxons did not decide to become Welsh. Instead, faced with this new threat of aggression, the Angular Saxons mobilized the Fleet under the command of Alfred who was then on the scone.

Naval Progress under Alfred

Alfred was very learned and clever, but he suffered from cerebos oedema or salt water on the brain, and is therefore known as a sea-minded king. To distinguish him from nearer kings who have founded the Navy from time to time, he is called its father or distant progenitor.

Alfred was the first to standardize warships. He did this when he built the Galli class. Hence the term ‘to gallivant’, meaning ‘to lead the van in a galley’. Before he did so, the Navy had no standards, only flags which they called ensigns.

The Danes didn’t like Alfred because he said there was something rotten in the state of Denmark, otherwise they would have stayed there, and after he had interfered with their marriage customs at Wedmore, they went home in disgust. Under the sure shield of British Naval Supremacy, Alfred was thus able to preserve the national unity and secure peace with honour.

Called its father or distant progenitor

Cooking Facilities Introduced

When not gallivanting on his galliass, Alfred was a great patron of the arts, and one day, while listening to Gallicurci, he allowed her cakes to burn and so discovered the scorchedhearth policy. He at once saw the possibilities of this, and had all the Galli class fitted with ovens. That is why the kitchen on board a modern warship is known as the galley, and burnt offerings are still made on Ember Days.

Notoriously apt to take a ribald view of what he sees

Early Rules Governing Conduct At Sea

Alfred was also a very great authority on etiquette, and said that ships of inferior nations were to ‘uncover’ when they passed British men-of-war in the Channel. This was known as ‘Enforcing the Salute in the Narrow Seas’, and it led to a lot of trouble because ships are ladies, as everybody knows, and ladies cannot raise their hats. Besides, many people thought it indelicate to expect even an inferior lady to lower her tops’ls or let fly her sheets in the presence of a man, especially a man of war who is notoriously apt to take a ribald view of what he sees. To-day, of course, ladies merely exchange curtsies, which is much less embarrassing.

Further Domestic Adjustment

The next important event in Naval History is the decision of the Normans to become Britons, and it is important not because the Angular Saxons were willing to become Sherwood Foresters, but because the Normans, although becoming Britons, did not wish to stop being Normans. This meant that the Fleet now had to cross the Channel from time to time, instead of going up and down it. After 1066, therefore, Naval History enters—

Chapter Two

The Normans exercised a big influence on the design of ships because ships, being ladies, had to look something like the ladies the sailors had in mind, and the Normans naturally preferred the flowing voluptuous curves of the Continental matron to the lean elegance favoured by the Saxons in the Galli class. So, from this time, the Navy’s ships took on a middle-aged ‘married’ appearance, an illusion supported by the appointment of ‘husbands’ to command them. Later the title ‘husband’ was changed to the synonymous term ‘master’.

William himself, being a married man, arrived from France in a benedictine.

Introduction of K.R. & A.I.

The Normans had not been Britons long when they decided that the Navy should have some laws. Hitherto it had been a law unto itself, and Richard, who suffered from an incautious parentage (cordis leomtis) and was going to Jerusalem for a cure (sursum corda), arranged with Mr. Shakespeare, the Parliamentary Secretary to the Admiralty, to draw up King’s Regulations and Admiralty Instructions so that the Fleet would know what to do on the way.

Being based on the Laws of Oberon which were conceived by Pyramus and Thisbe in a Midsummer Nightmare, these regulations became known as the Admiralty’s Black Book, to be mentioned in which is, of course, equivalent to incurring Their Lordships’ Grave Displeasure.

Early Interest in Meteorology

Some regulations still survive. The one, for example, which says that if a ship is in haven and stay to await her time the Master is to consult his companions about the suitability of the weather for sailing and abide by a majority verdict—this not only flourishes to-day, but is supported by the appointment of meteorological officers with whom everybody may disagree as a matter of habit, thereby ensuring that the Master agrees with the greater part of his companions without any argument. On the other hand, the regulation which says that if any man defame, villefy or swear at his fellow, he shall pay him as many ounces of silver as times he has reviled him—this has been allowed to die because, it was found, the sailors were so busy circulating silver among themselves that the Fleet could never put to sea, and many senior officers were reduced to permanent bankruptcy.

Humane Treatment of the Sick

Another regulation said that if any mariner fell sick, he was to be put ashore with a candle and a ship’s boy or a hired woman, but this defeated its purpose because it encouraged malingering. Nevertheless, taken as a whole the regulations were suited to the Times, which approved of them.

The Cinque Ports

The heavy increase of traffic in the Straits of Dover that followed the inclusion of Normandy in the British Empire, with its consequent opportunities for barratry, bottomry and burgundy, soon attracted men of bad character to Kent and Sussex, so that the towns of Rye, Winchelsea, Romney, Hythe, Sandwich, Hastings, Dover and Deal became known as the Cinque Ports, from synke meaning ‘a drain’, and porte meaning ‘an outlet’,

He was put ashore with a candle and a hired woman

From their habit of patrolling the coast in unlicensed motor coaches or bus-cars, the men themselves became known as buscarles, and gave much trouble to the Customs Officers who were called Exercise