Trauma at the Border

By Bernadette Conte

Trauma at the Border is a true story of resilience in the face of devastating pain, a journey of fear, faith, hope, and love in the midst of unforeseen obstacles.

When they were told nothing, more could be done for her husband's stage 4 brain cancer, Bernadette refused to accept that. Going b

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bernadette Conte
• Release date: Jan 3, 2022
• ISBN: 9780578360942

Book preview

TRAUMA AT THE BORDER

BERNADETTE CONTE

Copyright © 2021 by Bernadette Conte

Library of Congress Control Number

ISBN: Softcover 9780-578-93489-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

Rev. date: 9/3/21

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Amazon.com

www.bernadetteconte.com

To my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and my spiritual mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary

The loves of my life, my children:

Ralph C. Conte, Jr., and Katherine M. Conte,

my grandchildren:

Zoë, Raphael, Kali, Krishan, my great-grandson Leo, and

future generations.

IN MEMORY OF

My husband, Raffaele (Ralph) C. Conte, whose courage, love, and strength will remain with his family forever.

1.tif

Ralph as a baby

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Ralph, when we met

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I acknowledge and express my gratitude to the United States Protection and Border Control, from San Ysidro, California, who were accommodating in giving me copies of records, photos, and documentation regarding the arrest of the drug smugglers in San Diego, California, and providing me with an article written and featured in the Union-Tribune Publishing Co. Mostly, I am eternally grateful to them for saving Ralph and me from what could have happened.

I never realized how important their dangerous work is until I experienced the evil plots of the drug cartel, when they ruthlessly used innocent people, stooping so low as to use the ambulance that carried a dying man to accomplish their mission.

Candice Simmons for her friendship, editing, and for urging me to write this story.

David Layman, former news anchor, for his expert advice and friendship.

Michiel Thornton from the Bio Medical Center (Hoxsey Clinic) for his permission to use the clinic’s identity.

Zuma Press for supplying the news article from The San Diego Union-Tribune.

Freedom of Information Act---Westlaw.

Lunabea for final editing.

Matthew Morse for the book cover design.

A special dedication to the United States Department of Homeland Security and The United States Department of Justice Drug Enforcement Administration

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedication

In Memory of

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1 Ralph

Chapter 2 Answered Prayers

Chapter 3 Loss

Chapter 4 Tour of Mexico

Chapter 5 Cancer Treatment Centers

Chapter 6 Shattered Hope

Chapter 7 Treatments

Chapter 8 Complications

Chapter 9 Return to Mexico

Chapter 10 The Turing Point

Chapter 11 Waiting for the Ambulance

Chapter 12 The Border

Chapter 13 Flying Home

Chapter 14 Our Ancestral Feast

Chapter 15 Arrival in Rhode Island

Chapter 16 Final Plea

Chapter 17 His Passing

Chapter 18 The Celebration of Ralph’s Life

Chapter 19 Interview with Special Agents

Chapter 20 Reports

APPENDIX

INTRODUCTION

In contemplating whether to write this story, I recall the numerous people I met in San Ysidro, California, and Tijuana, Mexico, who were desperate to help someone they loved who faced the challenging complexities of cancer treatments. My husband, Ralph, and I went on a supervised tour of each cancer clinic and spoke with patients, their caregivers, and numerous people who had been treated successfully at their chosen clinic.

Trying to help my brother, who refused chemotherapy and was being treated with complementary medicine for non-­Hodgkin’s lymphoma in the United States, motivated me to further research alternative treatments.

It was astounding to me when I saw hundreds of individuals and their family members willing to travel to far-off places that would treat and attempt to bring healing to the sick person. It was common to hear from patients, What do I have to lose? I was sent home to die. Listening to their stories and seeing hope being restored first-hand gave me the courage and determination to find answers for my brother.

Experiencing the caring attitude of doctors and staff members who administered treatments to cancer patients gave me the courage to pursue my research. Seeing first-hand patients on stretchers, some who could not stand or walk and who, in a short time after receiving treatments, could walk again with the support of their caretaker, sparked my interest and hope even further. Although they knew their journey was uncertain with conventional and alternative treatments, they fought a good fight, clutching on to every opportunity to defeat death.

It was deeply touching for me to witness most patients and their family members’ deep faith and perseverance.

Every aspect, even a person’s diet, was important in cancer treatment. I had never seen such an array of fresh, organic prepared foods, and I loved the green vegetable drink and almond milk freshly made throughout the day. There was not one aspect that was not healthy. Patients could encourage one another, tell their stories, pray together, and remain friends until the end. There was not a bit of self-centeredness among them—only compassion and love for those around them with similar fates.

At the time, I never thought I would be seeking help for my husband in the future. A year or so later, Ralph was diagnosed and successfully treated for prostate cancer. Approximately five years later, he was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme, stage 4.

Wanting to try alternative treatments for my husband to extend his life and make him more comfortable after receiving harsh radiation treatment, I decided to seek help in Mexico again. I felt intense anger that he was simply sent home to die. I didn’t understand the impact of that statement when I heard it years before from cancer patients until I experienced it myself.

How I would get him home if he passed away in Mexico didn’t enter my mind. Feeling desperate to save him and extend his life a little longer consumed me. Not thinking of the tremendous cost because medical insurance did not cover alternative treatments or the astronomical cost it would take to hire an air rescue medical team and plane, I made my plans to take Ralph to Mexico with the blessing of his local oncologist. My mind had one gear: getting help for him, even though his chances were slim with this type of brain cancer.

I am not advocating alternative medicine and treatment in any Mexican clinics or other well-known international clinics; Mexico just happened to be my choice after years of research. It was closer to home and to my daughter, who lived in Redondo Beach, California. Making the right decision is difficult, especially when many unexpected events could happen.

My purpose in writing this book is to inform patients and their families of unforeseen events. Our first attempt was easy and successful; our second attempt several years later was traumatic. I never thought of the What ifs.

As I thought about all the scenarios, I felt it my obligation to warn people not to go to a foreign country for treatment without proper preparation in the event the patient dies or needs to be brought back to the States.

If someone had warned me then that I would experience unbelievable obstacles, I would have told them, You watch too many crime movies.

I believe in both alternative medicine and conventional treatment. I am not sorry I went to Mexico, for we met and received much support and love there. It was truly a spiritual journey for Ralph and me. The power of the Lord was everywhere; we were encompassed with it. He needed to experience it the way he did, except for the trauma at the border.

I am sharing with you my journey into the unknown, so if you do decide to try a treatment in another country, you will cover all possibilities and be prepared to make the right decisions. When one is desperate for the life of their loved one, it is easy to push aside reality and the What if’s.

My closing message is to research the credentials of doctors and clinics. Know the success rate of the treatments, unforeseen additional costs, emergency plans, and needed finances to return home. Research the credentials of the air response company too.

Getting a list of patients’ names and contact numbers is essential. The best resources are talking with patients, especially those who have had and are presently receiving treatments. Patients freely speak about