The Dark Within Us

By Sage Marrow

Seventeen-year-old Kal's life is upended when the monsters featured in her mother's crazed ramblings become real. Very real. And the list of everything-she-thought-she-knew-but-really-didn't only grows when her best friend, Jan, reveals that he isn't who he claimed to be. He's not even human.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Sage Marrow
• Release date: Jan 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9798985588934

Book preview

1

The Worlds Stir

MY SHADOW TRAILING AHEAD of me rippled on the ground, fizzing in and out at the edges like a bad connection to the earth.

That made me slow to a standstill and stop talking mid-sentence, phone gripped too-tightly in my hand, my skin prickling with goosebumps, my veins suddenly feeling like they were full of ice shards. Something was watching me. I could feel it, like the ghost of a hand grasping the back of my neck, starting to dig in claws.

Something was here.

Boots scraping, I spun on the spot, the torn jacket I held in one fist dragging in the dirt. The rest of my clothes weren’t in a cleaner state; I had grass stains and flecks of blood dotting my white t-shirt and holes in the knees of my jeans.

Squinting against the glare of the sunset, I only saw the empty road I was walking and dead leaves scattering before the wind, whispering deviously as they scratched across the pavement. The same wind made the oaks bow back and forth, waving solemnly my way, filling my nose with the smell of dust and growth, deep and green. Was I about to get jumped again? I had left Remold, the foremost idiot that had taunted me for weeks, unconscious a mile back with his goons flittering around him like frazzled hens. Clenching my hand tighter on my jacket sleeve, I felt my split knuckle protest as my skin stretched further, sticky blood half-dry between my fingers, dripping onto the ripped fabric. The throbbing of my black eyes and my ripped-up knees intensified. Maybe they’d returned. I’m sure they had more to say about my mom and her episodes.

I was used to the rumors that were whispered—and oftentimes said straight to my face—regarding my mother's sanity. She wasn't shy about her beliefs that another world existed, that demon creatures were real, and I lived with the consequences. Ignoring people's insults and insinuations wasn't very difficult, most of the time; it just became impossible when their stupidity was coupled with a few rough shoves and a certain stink-breathed moron refusing to get out of my way.

One straw too many, I suppose.

But this… this felt different, like nothing I’d encountered before. Behind me, my shadow was spitting furiously again, like it was trying to come alive.

Obviously, I’d been hit too hard.

Kal?

Lifting the phone again, I cleared my throat. Yeah, sorry mom. You were scolding me? This wasn’t a rare occurrence on her part. I made no false claims that I was a role model daughter. I blamed Jan, my best friend, and his propensity to find trouble no matter where we went. Resuming my strides, with a lot less fury and more trepidation, I continued onward, casting suspicious glances over my shoulder. Huh. Getting jumped on my way home from school was filling my head with paranoid thoughts. Shrug it off, Kal, and keep your ears open. Go get an ice pack for your bruised brain and make it stop seeing things that aren’t real.

Honey, she sighed into my ear. I could just picture her, sitting in her favorite spot by the back window that overlooked the vast woods, anxiously tugging at the purple headscarf I had gifted her for her birthday to help brighten up her despair at her losing her lovely hair in chunks. Her shrunken frame would be shivering even beneath the soft throw my little brother had given her as his present. I was no doubt deepening the worry lines around her storm grey eyes. You need to ignore those who try to anger you. If you try to pick a battle with every person who angers you, you'll spend your whole life fighting.

She had a point, admittedly. At seventeen, I was the older sibling and the supposed example to Nate, the nefarious dweeb who, at twelve, liked to do whatever he pleased. The trembling in her voice made my gut coil with guilt. For the millionth time, I wished she would return to seek medical help so we could figure out what was causing her body to waste away into nothing, her mind to slowly dissolve into an emptiness that was, little by little, taking her away from us. For the millionth time, I wished my dad or older brother were around so I could defer to them on what to do. Have someone else in charge. But they were hardly more than memories kept alive by my mom's voice, gone before I could create many solid recollections myself.

The thing was, I really could have used the help. My mom would ramble sometimes, in increasing frequency as of late, losing her grasp on reality and speaking inanely of stuff that wasn’t real. She’d go on about names I couldn’t pronounce and creatures I couldn’t describe, and some made up place that she would cry helplessly over. In her decaying mind, my mother thought the stories in her head were just as real as I was then, walking along with my straight, dark brown hair in knots around my shoulders from Remold yanking on it and my afternoon-blue eyes rimmed with blood that was draining into my eye sockets from the blow he had landed between my brows. It was giving me one whopping headache. All the bruising no doubt made the freckles sprayed across my cheekbones seem darker, my skin paler.

But you should have seen the state I left him.

I had Jan, my best friend, to thank for that. After my first spectacular fail in trying to defend my mother’s name months ago and getting my ass handed to me, he had insisted on teaching me to fight properly. No doubt due to the enormous responsibility he felt for my wellbeing, really for anyone he cared about, despite him being only two years older than me. It had been an unspoken pact to never tell my mother about the lessons. Under Jan’s tutelage, I had grown a lot stronger and quicker, and Remold had underestimated me when he and his gang surprised me outside the schoolyard.

By now, I had plunged into the woods behind my home, lilting into a light jog, unable to shake the uneasiness that clung to me like a second skin. With the sun slinking below the mountain range, everything was splashed with purple hues that made the pockets of dark stand out starkly and I couldn’t distinguish my own shadow anymore. As pep talks went, I sucked at listening to myself. Alright, mom, you got it. Good behavior from this point forward.

I heard that, hag. You’re such a liar.

Craning my neck, I grimaced as I spotted Nate perched above me on a branch, swinging one leg lazily, shoes untied as always. The ridiculous patchwork hat that practically lived on my brother’s head shifted as he leaned forward, its long end trailing across his shoulder; it was a hideous clash of bright colors and crudely sewn together fabric, with a brim fraying from use and a sagging tassel that danced around his neck. Tufts of wavy black hair poked out under the hat's rim and his midnight blue eyes were lit by the flashlight on his phone, the freckles he and I shared chaotically dusting his cheeks.

I found Nate, I said into the phone. Don’t worry, I’ll drag him home. Clicking the call to an end, I switched on my flashlight and held it up, hugging myself against the chill that gripped me. The shards of ice in my veins were growing bigger.

"Sheesh, what happened to you? You look worse than usual. That’s an impressive feat."

I ground my teeth together. You’re such a joy in my life. Get down and let’s get out of here. My fingers dug into my arms as I stood tense, trying not to jump at the rustling of the wind through the brush.

Nate’s feet thumped the ground as he landed, admittedly with more balance and grace than I would have managed. His white shirt beneath his unzipped black jacket had sap stuck to it, and I sighed in dismay over the plant stains dotting his jeans. Between my clothes and his, I had my work cut out for me with laundry.

What’s your problem? Besides the usual, he added offhandedly.

Right now, it’s you, if you don’t start marching and get your butt home.

You look like you got into a fight with a lawnmower, and the lawnmower won.

I jutted a stiff finger out, pointing down the path. Home. Now.

Sir! Yes, sir! Nate offered me a mocking salute and turned sharply on his heel, joints locked as he plowed onward with his knees unbending and arms swinging disjointedly by his sides. His flashlight bounced wildly across the landscape as he swung it.

Squinting suspiciously into the tangle of shadows behind me, I started after him, unable to stop my teeth from chattering. What was wrong with me? I could all but taste my own pulse, as if I had drunk melted pennies and my body was prickling like someone was jabbing at me with needles. No, more like pulling at me, trying to rip off pieces of myself.

I jumped a foot in the air as my phone rang, and a glance to the screen showed me Jan was calling. My stomach swooped, like a bird taking flight, as it usually did when Jan got back in touch with me after being away. Sometimes he was gone for months, which was beyond annoying. I mean, I didn't have many friends. Which is to say, I had only one. People were difficult to crack, to know exactly what their intentions were and whether they were being truthful to you. I didn't trust people easily by nature. As a kid, running into Jan for the first time as he offered a hello, I could sense something was different. Inexplicably, he had known me, questioning whether I remembered him. He was easy to read so long as I could take a good clear look at his eyes. Right from the start, he could handle my temper and my sarcastic nature with ease. Whenever we argued—and with the two of us, that occurred a lot—and Jan grew tired of it, he'd give a brief kiss on my brow to get me to shut up. It was his signal that we'd agree to disagree.

Oh, by the way, my having a crush on my best friend was the worst.

I answered his call without a greeting, knowing what he was calling about, and set him to speakerphone. I take it my mother texted you?

She did, he affirmed on the other end. Just his voice helped to push away some of the shadows that seemed to be crawling my way. She said you were attacked.

Glancing away from where Nate raised his eyebrow at me, I muttered, I handled it.

But?

I blew out a puff of air, my bangs flying for a moment. It was sometimes annoying how well he knew me. Well, Remald must have an abnormally thick skull because my hand is killing me.

I’m sure I taught you how to swing properly, Twig-limbs, so yeah, we’ll go with that. I could just see him rolling his eyes in my mind. Sheesh. I had yet to best him in an arm-wrestling contest, even using both my hands, and I’m stuck with this dumb nickname forever. "I told you when you’re outnumbered that the objective is to run away."

I was already lectured by my mother, I told him curtly, so I don’t really need a second one. Where are you, anyway? I could’ve used your help.

I’m on my way now.

What is that? Nate suddenly said, voice tight.

Raising my head, I found Nate a fair distance ahead on the trail, halted in his tracks in a near crouch, his flashlight sweeping left to right and back again.

What are you talking about? I drew even with him and stopped, lifting my phone’s light to add to his, seeing nothing but foliage and rocks and clinging ivy. The air around us was as silent as a graveyard, no buzzing of insects or rustling of small animals burrowing, and the fine hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I swear if you’re pranking me—

Nate’s hand clamped onto my arm, and he pulled my light to the side and up, pairing it with his as he aimed it towards a ledge of rock and dead trees.

Four eyes glowed back at us.

I felt my jaw unhinge and the ground beneath my toes vibrated as the thing stepped forward, foam dripping from jaws the length of my torso. Each foot it set down cleaved rocks in two as its massive, jagged claws sliced through them like a hot knife through butter.

Fido the dog, apparently, had found himself some steroids.

Holy shit, I whispered.

Jan’s voice was urgent. Kal? What’s going on?

The monster flickered in and out of sight like a hologram, lips quivering as they were pulled back into a vicious growl, four huge saber-teeth extending from its upper gums. Black spikes, flashing off sparks of light like sharpened metal, protruded from its neck. Its blood red fur bristled into needle-sharp points. Tail-less, with four eyes pinned on us, it stood on four legs, and the log beneath it was crushed to wood shavings, smashed to kindling like nothing more than snapping a toothpick. Though it moved in a sloping gait down an incline in the beam of our flashlights, it had no shadow stretching from beneath its body.

W-What is that? Nate’s phone shook in his hand.

How should I know?! I demanded shrilly.

What is it? Jan all but barked.

I just said I don’t know! A twig snapped beneath my heel as I took a step back. "Nate, run!"

Holding my phone steady while trying to run pell-mell down a rock-smothered dirt trail was something else. Nate stumbled over his stupid untied shoelaces, and I hauled him up by snatching his jacket collar and dragging him along for all I was worth. Shoving him bodily ahead of me, I risked glancing back, shining my light so I could see the monstrosity tearing through the woods. It burst through the trunk of a tree that stood in its way like it was nothing, sending wood splintering through the air in various sized daggers. I yelped when the tree came barreling down, a giant wooden arm in the dark that was going to crush us, and I barreled into Nate, launching us sideways. We spun down the side of a dried-up riverbank, crashing into rocks and tree roots. The side of my skull collided into something, and I saw sparks before the world managed to come into focus again. Nate was yanking on my arm now, shouting. Dizzily, I got to my feet.

It’s catching up! Move faster! Nate’s fingernails bit into my forearm as he gripped me. A hasty glance up the riverbed showed the red-furred thing was mere yards away, bodily shoving boulders from its path by its snout or clawing them in two.

Go, I panted, planting my hands on my younger brother’s shoulders, shoving him up the side of the bank. Go find help. I’ll slow it down. Somehow.

"Are you crazy? It’s going to eat you!"

Thanks for your faith in me. With a grunt, I hefted up a large fallen tree branch. Could I impale it? Given it’s flickering, I wasn’t entirely sure it was solid. I had no choice but to try, though. Maybe I’d be able to smack it, disorient it. Just enough to give me time to run.

Who was I kidding? Nate was so right. I was going to be Steroid-Fido food.

Kal! Nate screamed, pointing, hoisting his flashlight up.

The beam swept over the monster as it barreled down, ten steps away from me, now seven…

Rocks pelted it in the face as Nate hollered; given his panic, I was surprised his aim managed to stay steady. He may as well have been hitting it with cotton balls for all the attention it paid to him. No, all four of its eyes were set firmly on me, and I could smell its hot breath as it panted, like mold and long-since-dead meat and something acidic all rolled into one. Lifting the tree branch, I shouted at Nate to run, unable to tear my eyes away to see if he listened. Probably not. His track record didn’t speak towards obeying me, ever.

The monster launched at me, jaws spread wide, tongue rolling, saliva splattering all over me—

And as I fell to my bruised knees, digging the end of the branch into the ground, it just up and vanished.

A rush of air slid over me, throwing my hair back, flinging dust and gravel into my face and I cowered, trying to cover myself. Certain I was going to be chomped into pieces at any moment. Waiting for teeth to tear into me.

Everything stilled, though, and I knelt there gasping for air, trembling like a flame near an open window and I dared to peek around. Nothing responded. The thing was gone. Just gone.

My body seemed to melt as I sat back, barely catching myself on the heels of my hands, adrenaline making my limbs feel like squashed putty. I couldn’t seem to draw in enough air.

"What was that? What just—did you see? How did it—? Nate clutched at his hat, as if trying to reassure himself that he still, in fact, existed, and blinked down at me. Whaaaaaat?"

You and me both, kiddo. Groaning, I gathered my feet beneath me, bending to swipe my phone from where it lay abandoned on a pile of pebbles. The screen was cracked, and it wouldn’t turn back on. Great. Wiping my palms down my spit-drenched shirt, I gagged at the stench. The first drippings of rain began to pelt around me, and I glanced up, scowling at the darkening sky. We need to get out of here, in case whatever that thing is shows up again.

For the first time in his life, Nate agreed with me.

THE FRONT DOOR WAS NEVER mean to be handled in such a way. It all but unhinged from its place as I smashed it open with such force in my haste that it banged against the wall and reverberated, shuddering. Nate―quite eager to get out of the dark and into whatever semblance of safety our home could offer form creepy red beasts―crashed right into me, bowling me flat like a pancake, and we collided into the floor.

Our entrance probably measured on a seismic graph somewhere.

Get off me, you barnacle. Oof. His foot planted right into the middle of my back sent me sprawling again and he raced forward, shouting for our mother. By the time I managed to shut the front door behind me and step into the living room, he was already poised before Mom’s sitting place, stirring her from her nap, arms waving akimbo as he narrated in frenetic sentences what had just happened.

Storm-gray eyes blinked at us drowsily. Did you run into a stray dog? Should I call the pound? Then my mother noted my appearance and she sat up with a start. "Kal! You didn’t tell me Remold hurt you."

Oh. I had completely forgotten about that idiot.

I’m okay, I insisted, lifting my hands to stop her, but something seriously messed up just happened and—

"IT HAD MASSIVE CLAWS!" Nate bellowed, hooking his fingers into crooked semblances of the monster’s appendages. He stood there breathing heavily as Mom stared at him.

What did? she asked slowly.

This thing… Seriously, how to find the right words? I mean, either the Dorenson’s dog got punted into a vat of radiation, or some creature from hell came after us.

"Claws," Nate insisted firmly.

She looked at me. Then her face drained of all color.

A morg, she whispered.

Throwing the blanket wrapped around her to the floor, she rose, wobbling a bit, and Nate instantly reached out to steady her. Her grip was white knuckled. Kal, call Jan. Call him right this instant. Nate, help me to my room. Now!

What? Baffled, I looked to my busted up phone and said, Why am I calling him?

"We need him here now! Nate, hurry, to my room—"

What’s going on? I darted after them, hovering as Nate obeyed and guided my mom to the first door on the left, flicking the light on with a finger.

The sweet smell of her lilac perfume smoothed over me and Mom set herself on the edge of her quilt-covered bed, directing Nate to open the bottom left drawer of her dresser. There’s a false back, son. Pry it loose. Pull out the bag behind it.

Ooh, secrets, Nate said, eyes bright.

Mom’s lips began to quiver, and I felt my stomach knot.

Mom? I hated how uncertain my voice was. What’s going on?

"I’m so sorry. I’ve tried my best to protect you. There’s so much I wish I could say. But I can’t, to keep you safe. I’ve held it all back so you would be safe. We’ve tried to… But if a morg found you, we don’t have a lot of time, right now. You don’t have a lot of time, she amended. Gesturing frantically, she took hold of the leather bag Nate had withdrawn from the hole behind the dresser. The one I had no idea was there. Hurry. To the door."

Well, that wasn’t ominous at all. What do you mean by that? What’s a morg? Following her like a startled duckling, I tossed my broken phone onto the kitchen table in passing. Nate, give me your phone so I can call Jan.

Not even looking my way, my brother tossed his cell tome. Here. What’s in the bag? Nate demanded as I punched in Jan’s number. He bounced on his feet as Mom drew the pouch open and reached inside, withdrawing, of all things, a simple silver band. She held it up in her hand, looking at it reverently, completely missing the worried look I gave her. Was this part of her sickness? Was she going totally crazy now?

He’s not answering, I said, frowning at Nate’s phone, then at the bracelet my mom held.

Nate’s eyebrows nearly touched his hairline. Is that a super-awesome-magic-thing?

Come here. She was gesturing for me, grabbing hold of my left arm to slip the bracelet over my fingers, settling it home on my wrist. It hummed as it touched my skin, and I jolted, dropping Nate’s phone in shock. I tried to pry the bracelet off. The thing felt alive, and I may not have known a ton, but I knew jewelry shouldn’t be living.

Mom clamped both her hands around my left one, pulling down on my arm so I was level with her face. Kaleen, you need to listen to me very carefully.

Soooo, Nate interjected, disappointment deflating him a bit, "it's not a super-awesome-magic-thing?"

Do not take this off. Her grip on me was so strong my fingers were starting to go numb. This close it, I could see faint white scratched markings along the band’s surface, luring me to study them. I could see the lines etched around my mother’s mouth, settled around her eyes, marking her years and experience. Promise me.

"What is it?"

Promise me!

Okay, okay. I’ll wear it.

She settled her forehead against mine and despite the fear that had my heart pounding against my ribs, I inhaled the lilac and aloe smell of her, trying to calm myself down. Remember my dearest, you are so much stronger than you think you are. I tried to pull away, but she clamped a hand to the back of my neck, holding me still. "I love you. Don’t ever doubt yourself. Do you hear me? Don’t ever doubt yourself. I love you."

Why was she saying these things? Panic was building like the incoming of a tide, threatening to drown me. What was going on?

Now Nate was watching the two of us in alarm, all but hopping from one foot to the other, his brows furrowed together. Mom, what are you doing? What’s happening?

Kal, put on my jacket and take my keys. Yes, there on the hook. Nate, say goodbye, she told him. Kal is leaving.

Excuse me? Freezing in place with one arm through her jacket sleeve, I gawked while Nate gave Mom such a look of concern, he looked like he had instantly aged five years.

Mom—

But my question went unspoken as our front door burst open for the second time that evening, startling all three of us. As the storm outside roared through the doorway, splattering water across the welcome rug, Nate raised his fists while I stepped in front of my mom. But I immediately sagged with relief the next moment as I recognized who was closing the door behind him, dripping wet with his black hair wind-swept and his dark brown eyes wild—

Hold up a second.

Is that blood? I stared at Jan’s shoulder in disbelief as he righted himself, trying to catch his breath. His jacket sleeve and part of his shirt was gone, revealing bright ribbons of blood swirling down his arm, tainting the ring he always wore on his right index finger. Real, poppy-red blood, dripping onto my mother’s hardwood floor. Lifting my gaze to his, I stared in horror. Jan wasn’t exactly a figure to mess with, but whatever he had tangled with had managed to do some damage. "That is blood."

His pupils dilated in turn, looking me over. What happened to you?

"Me? What happened to you?"

Jan! Nate launched himself at his idol, babbling a mile a minute. You aren’t going to believe what’s going on. Why are you hurt? Did you run into a monster dog too?

Hush up, Nate, he needs the first aid kit—

But my mother interrupted, holding onto my shoulder so she could stand straight, and I hastily wrapped my arm around her. Is it time? My p— She stopped herself. Jan, is it time? Has she found her?

He looked to her and nodded just once, tersely. Yes. I’m sorry. Time has run out.

She sagged against me, like her strength was siphoning out, lost down a drain, and I tried to catch her. Jan stepped in, lifting her up and carrying her as if she was a feather, his long legs striding down the hall, into the back family room, with Nate and I following like bewildered shadows. The wide windows there yawned from wall to wall, and the storm-driven woods beyond was a grim sight, the trees scratching helplessly at the rain pummeling at them. Gently, he set her down in the window seat, both heedless to the blood he smeared across her arm as he drew back.

Thank you, she told him, setting a trembling hand to his jaw, her already pale skin almost stark white against his sun-kissed hue. Thank you for everything.

I’ll do whatever it takes, was his somber reply. I promise.

That seemed to be all my mom needed to hear, because she sank back, closing her eyes. Nate jumped when Jan turned to him, wearing an expression I had never in all the years I had known him seen on his face before. It made me shiver. Stay here with her, Nate. You’ll be safe once we’re gone. Kal, you need to come with me.

Hold up, I insisted, backing away from him as he took a few steps my way. What’s going on? Someone better explain what’s happening.

No kidding, Nate mumbled.

Which was the second time in one night that he agreed with me, so maybe the world really was ending.

We don’t have much time. Jan’s sharp gaze was scanning beyond the windows, but I wasn’t sure what he was searching for. The Veil is thinning too quickly.

I… What now? Was I trapped in a nightmare? Could I pinch myself awake?

Everything is true, Mom whispered hoarsely. But not this. Not this. Her shuddering made me wish for the blanket she had dropped earlier, but when I turned to go get it, Jan snatched my wrist, shaking his head.

You stay where I can see you, he said.

Twisting my hand, I gripped hold of his wrist in return, tugging back on his arm, insistent. Then tell me what’s going on.

He looked genuinely pained as he let me go, carefully slipping his arm free of my grip and replied, I’m sorry. Tell them goodbye. We have to leave.

My jaw was clenched so tight it ached. "Where? Why?"

I can explain a little on the way. But for their sake, we need to get moving. Once you’re far from them, they won’t be in danger. Trust me. Please.

If I say no?

Then I’ll carry you.

I had to leave to keep them safe. How did that make any sense? What were they in danger from? But searching Jan’s eyes, I could only find a resolute finality there, one that hollowed me out and ripped up all the questions in my head to pieces. He wasn’t joking. Not in the least. Absorbing his stature and height, I knew any struggle I put up against him was going to be laughingly pointless.

Besides, I did trust him.

I blinked the next moment as he slowly lifted his hand, thumb trailing over my brow and I was forced to clench my eyes shut as a bright blue light breathed into life, filling the room with a shimmering warmth. My headache eased away. When the light faded as he drew his hand away, I found my mother watching me with satisfaction and Nate was gaping, stunned into silence. Carefully, I probed along my skin, expecting to feel swelling and bruising, finding none. The pain was gone.

That was bothering me, Jan said nonchalantly.

With my palm pressed against my forehead, I tried not to hyperventilate. What did you just do? How in the world had he just healed my bruise like it was no big deal?

Kal… He breathed out, like he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or strangle me. Then he pinned me with a forceful look, and I froze, wondering if he’d make good on his threat and haul me over his shoulder. He curled his hands into fists, let them go, and inhaled deeply, obviously coming to a decision.

Reaching towards the blood-smothered ring on his right hand, he took it off.

And Jan changed.

2

Calling

WITH A ROUGH GASP, I REELED backwards, colliding into a lamp table and promptly sent the poor vase set there toppling, spilling water and petals on the wood flooring. My elbow cracked against the corner, and I yelped in surprise. I stared uncomprehendingly from where I landed with a thud. Nate hadn’t responded much better, shouting out an oath that made Mom glare at him, but he was oblivious, eyes bugging out as he stared at his hero. Adding to my surprise, Mom was the only one who didn’t seem phased by Jan’s transformation.

Jan’s hair was still black as midnight, disheveled and half-dry from the rainstorm, but now there were gold patches throughout it, as if the sun itself had stretched out a playful finger and zapped them. A few strands bore metal beads and a blue cloth braided through. His bronze