The Invention of Romance

By Conni Massing

Thirtysomething Kate has devoted much of her adult life to her career as a museum curator. She’s just been tasked with mounting an exhibit about the history of romance and love despite her own string of romantically unsuccessful relationships. Intent on better curating the show, Kate investigates love in books and on hilariously disastrous dates. As her love life enters a comical death spiral, her long-widowed mother rekindles an old romance with a man she co-starred with in a play sixty years ago. Finding the partial script of her mother’s play, yellow with age and dog-eared, Kate sets out to complete its missing ending.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Playwrights Canada Press
• Release date: Dec 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781770915701

Conni Massing

Conni Massing is an award-winning writer working in theatre, film, and television. Stage credits include The Myth of Summer (Alberta Theatre Projects), Oh! Christmas Tree (Lunchbox Theatre), and her stage adaptations of W.O. Mitchell’s Jake and the Kid (Theatre Calgary) and Bruce Allen Powe’s The Aberhart Summer (Citadel Theatre). She has several publications to her credit, including five of her plays and a comic memoir, Roadtripping: On the Move with the Buffalo Gals, published by Brindle and Glass Publishing. Her writing has been recognized by Alberta Media Production Industries Association, the Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television, the Betty Mitchell Awards, the Writers’ Guild of Alberta, and the Elizabeth Sterling Haynes Awards.

Book preview

9781770915688.jpg

For Viola Jane

Contents

Production History

Characters

Act One

Act Two

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Production History

The Invention of Romance premiered March 28–April 13, 2014, at Workshop West Theatre in Edmonton, Alberta, with the following cast and creative team:

Louisa: Valerie Ann Pearson

Kate: Lora Brovold

Man: Mat Busby

Director/Dramaturge: Tracy Carroll

Set and lighting design: Robert Shannon

Costume design: Lisa Hancharek

Sound design: Paul Morgan Donald

Stage managers: Betty-Lou Hushlak, Rachel Rudd

Characters

Kate: midthirties

Louisa: plays herself at the ages of eighteen and seventy-nine

Man: plays a variety of roles to facilitate the storytelling, including James the archivist

Setting

The action takes place in a museum and several other locations. Set and costumes should be designed to facilitate maximum flow between scenes. The Fantasy Man and early incarnations of Edgar may be depicted as silhouettes behind a screen.

ACT ONE

Lights up on

kate

at a museum press conference. Crowd noise can be heard in the background.

kate:

Good evening. My name is Kathleen Carmichael and I am the curator of The Invention of Romance: Art and Literature from the Age of Courtly Love and Beyond. This exhibit will animate contemporary notions of romance, the history of romantically inspired poetry and . . . in the Bertrand and Ethel Price Memorial Salon we will be presenting . . . De Amore. (may acknowledge enthusiastic response of press conference audience) This twelfth-century manuscript is believed to recount the proceedings from Eleanor of Aquitaine’s fabled court of love and we’re delighted to announce that we will be the only Canadian stop on the North American tour of this precious medieval codex. We’re extremely grateful for the generous sponsorship provided by the Smithsonian Institute, the Devonshire Textiles Museum, and the Canadian Heart Foundation . . .

kate

steps away and surveys the audience. Her speech continues in the background as a muffled soundtrack complete with faint crowd noise.

Honestly? It feels a touch ironic to be curating an exhibit about romance. I mean, now that Cooper and I seem to be pretty much irreconcilable . . . irreconciled? . . . shipwrecked, washed up on the beach for the gulls to shit on.

Even more ironic: this whole thing was my idea. I got a hot tip that De Amore was slated to tour so I made a presentation at the curator’s colloquium pitching the manuscript as the centrepiece of an exhibit—and myself as some kind of minor expert on matters of the heart. A romantic.

Who even knows what that really means?

james

enters, carrying an object behind his back.

james:

Romantic: a soulful or amorous idealist. Quixotic, not sensible about practical matters.

Concerned with or conducive to courtship and love—

kate:

Excuse me. Have we met?

james:

My name is James. I’m the archivist.

kate:

Yes—yes, of course.

james

presents a lute to

kate

. Pleased with himself.

What’s this?

james:

It’s a lute.

kate:

Yes, I know but—

james:

Only slightly less romantic than the harp, but much easier to transport. Very popular for wooing.

kate:

Are you new here?

james:

No. And actually, we’ve met several times now. We had a conversation about medieval music at the opening reception for Mysteries of the Bog People. Which is when you mentioned—

kate:

Ah, yes—I remember now.

james:

I was telling you how much Reba loved flute music— You’ve met my—

kate:

Reba—yes, yes of course. I mean, I think I have—

james:

And you said, I’d love to get my hands on one of those goddamn harps or lutes or something, I’d sing me up a little ‘fare thee well, my love,’ let me tell you.

kate:

Was I drinking?

james:

Possibly. And you were also quite upset with your boyfriend.

kate:

(handing back the lute) I don’t know how to play a lute. Sorry you went to so much trouble.

kate

turns away, dismissing

james

, but he hangs in there.

james:

No trouble at all. This exhibit is a very big opportunity. I’m honoured to be working on it.

kate:

Since when?

james:

I spoke to Ms. Pender-Smetz after the status meeting yesterday. She thought you might appreciate some help.

kate:

I see.

james:

So I volunteered to pitch in.

kate:

Then I guess I look forward to working with you. Now do you mind . . . ?

james:

Yes. I mean, yes of course we can discuss this later. Only . . . I thought I should mention, there’s some buzz on the Internet about the De Amore manuscript. Apparently the tour directors got very snippy about a temperature control issue in Houston.

kate:

Where’d you hear this?

james:

I participate in an online forum for artifact restoration professionals—ARF—actually I guess it’s really ARPF but— (notes

kate

’s expression) Anyway, there was talk about De Amore—

kate:

Talk about what? They’ve approved the facility report.

james:

Of course, I just thought you’d want to know.

kate:

Uh . . . thanks.

james

moves off.

As I was saying . . . I think I was