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The Vault
By Andrés Cerpa
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About this ebook
How do you move on after a parent dies? Specifically, when they die by a painful suicide. This collection is an extension of the poets last book, Bicycle in a Ransacked City, and it is a gorgeous rendering of someone processing the deeper parts of grief and how to try and live an everyday life with such a troubled past.
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Book preview
The Vault - Andrés Cerpa
I
JOIN
ME
my proclivity toward ruin has only increased with my distance from it
listening to Born to Be Blue at a friend’s place in Walton NY
burning one down
I became so used to the unrequited life
the one more for the ruin
the hurricane stars
that I strain to sing love in love
the inexplicable whole
the it without antecedent
the fog that forms like a father disintegrating in a purple chair
who am I without my clothes & friends
my linens
snow on the ocean unseen
on the coldest day of this November
we made a day of it
it
laid there for hours as our mice crept into the stove
despair & I are inventing a word
world by world
marked by a long lifeline & a canyon of darkness what I want to uncover
& bury at once
today I woke next to Julia after a simple & resonant night
slowly
we are saying things
leave a toothbrush see me on your bad days too
the winter before her
I staid home smoked & toasted the night
the stars must be lonely
the word is
somewhere in summer fireflies shaken to life in a jar
dear Gregorio
maybe I can inspire you to hate yourself more
because the days have become me & your story
that sad thing you left
now Uncle Robert takes Dad by the shoulders & jokes
do you see me
they impersonate you
&
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