Loud Silence: Speech Is Silver but Silence, Not Always Gold

By Dr. M.K.R. Khan

This novel encircles a character who does not believe in small talk, but survives effectively and successfully, indulging in an aching love story without sentiments and rescued by hope. Readers would discover how difficult it would be to write a novel with no conversations in it. Novel writing cannot be better than this. It is an experiment which should encourage others to follow suite as it delivers fiction with powerful and moving thrills and twists that is an art of storytelling, which could emerge as a modern culture with every page captivating the interest and passion of readers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Sep 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781665501705

Dr. M.K.R. Khan

The author took many years of difficult journey across the Asian sub-continent to choose medical faculty becoming a Consultant Psychiatrist by profession, successfully retired as a Professor from a research Institute before migration to USA. He has a series of published books to his credit, including fiction, non-fiction, biographies and children’s book. He has a way of describing the characters and has a way of engaging the readers. This is his tenth published book with a charismatic poetic prose shaped up as a dazzling Novel for a change, with ravishing humane characters to make believe what fiction writing can demonstrate.

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 Dr. M.K.R. Khan. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/29/2020

ISBN: 978-1-6655-0171-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-0170-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgement Of Thanks

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

In the name of God, the

beneficent and merciful

DEDICATION

I dedicate this novel to my wife, who has been asking me to stop writing books on Religion, medical faculty and biographies and to venture in novels of pure fiction and nothing else. It has become obligatory to honor her wish for she has borne a companionship of four decades with me, without verbalizing a complaint and hence this Loud Silence as a response to her astonishing silent support.

Author

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

OF THANKS

I thank God firstly to have allowed my writing skills to remain intact. I also thank my family to have helped me in cooperating with my solitude to let this novel get completed. Lastly, I thank the publisher for giving support in editing and publishing it.

Dr. Khan

The vows of silence

echoed so loudly, as

though it was getting

responses from all

directions.

CHAPTER 1

The vintage quality of the building was hard to come by in any castle of Vatican era. It was a kind of fortress, solid, intimidating and gigantic. It was absolutely gorgeous and impressive edifice, which housed the present-day wom`en’s college of fine arts. It had a look of celestial palace with mansion like high ceiling large rooms and corridors. The walls were brick and mortar occupying offices, class rooms and halls for various activities related with fine arts. Windows filtered sufficient light and doors were mostly closed for privacy and to avoid noise pollution.

There were tall trees denoting its age and bringing some unique elegance to the campus. The green lawns were wide and lush rolling emerald green, bordered with leafy ferns, which worked like fence for students to loiter in leisure hours inter-spread by two bed room single storied houses and some independent buildings other than the wings attached to the main structure. One wing occupied the hostel and the other held the museum, swimming pool, gymnasium and indoor sports activities. The estate was replete with outdoor play courts

Fine arts included painting, sculpture, music and dance. The concept typically applied to visual arts and beneficiaries were only girls. There were a greater number of students enrolled in dancing than other faculties. It was supported by state sponsored funds and nominal fee was charged for the purpose of registration only. The college also included the clock tower with spiral staircase and made it an architectural marvel of present times.

Mostly girls were sent from foster homes after passing high schools and had to be domiciled in hostel. There were girls from other states who could not make everyday attendance and were also given rooms in the hostel. One for each. The dining hall was well furnished and served food three times a day cooked by lady chefs. The capacity could accommodate all the hostelers, girls forming groups to sit and eat. The self service would allow any number of refills at no cost and the residents were happily posted.

The socio-economic conditions of the students were challenging, but the administration being funded by state could bear to produce the best results through trained staff and good curriculum. There were four capacious rooms well-furnished elegant looking situated in the central part of the main building. Principal Erika’s room was filled with racks of books and files. The oak-paneled large desk was placed in the center, sitting chair was cushioned with wheels. It was separated by a partition behind which the Secretary Olivia engaged another ante-room space.

The staff room was capacious too and adequate with basic amenities and lockers assigned to each one of the teachers, all being ladies. The other two rooms used to be vacant most of the times. One was meant for board meetings, which were hardly held but was comprising of large oval shaped table, lined with seating arrangement and the other was under the custody of Master the only young male member of the staff, whose designation was unclear to most of teachers and students. He was rarely available in his room and usually on the move. Nobody objected to his presence in a women’s college.

By chance he happened to be a bachelor and a promising one, for his looks and his manners. He had everyone’s attention and interest. All used to call him ‘Master’. The old ladies respected him and all the young girls had a crush on him. The other male members included the bus driver, gate keeper and an in-house priest, all given quarters and all were old, lean and thin, available within campus at all times. All should have retired in their ages with health constraints. The security guards were all ladies retired from police services giving formal service, which was hardly used, except in times of convocations.

Master was genuinely a master of all, not just jack of all. Everyone in the premises were always looking for him for all kinds of performances. Never ever he had refused anyone and took care of all the problems at any given time. He had a talent for multi-tasks and his cell phone used to vibrate in his back pocket receiving calls for help. He always kept his gaze low and was never seen talking, not that he was dumb. He was good listener and an efficient helper. He was like a consequential river terminating in innumerable tributaries in the delta of the college serving all. No one knew where he belonged, what is his family background, what is his connection to the college or his port-folio.

He was a decent person and very careful. More careful when it comes to matters of college administration. He was cute and handsome with a sensuality in him. He could have used his innocent reserve and sweet masculine personality to win anyone’s heart. He was passionate and kind towards all the inmates. He seemed confident and thorough in several faculties as though he had achieved expertise in all fields. He would volunteer in all jobs and had proved a good one too. Sometime his overall nature was beyond rationality and understanding. In the books of all others he was different.

His popularity in the campus could be due to incredible providence of help, or because of his pleasant personality, razor sharp memory, handsome features, strength of character or his eloquent silence. He could have been mistaken as deaf and dumb, if not for his vocal music skills. All had a liking for him, from the Principal to the janitors. The teaching staff and the students were in adoration for him. All craved for him and needed him for some reason or the other. He made himself available for any kind of help immaterial of who wanted it.

Nobody knew details about his origin, faith, qualifications or status. He was a problem solver and was even better in crisis intervention. There was no problem which he could not attend and solve. He was favorite among young and old. He was mostly nodding, smiling and was not seen talking at length except occasional use of some laconic replies to leading questions. He had always managed without conversation, as though conversation is not a part of communication. He never failed to communicate with his modality of gestures. On the convocation day when he sang a melody, marvelously tuned with lyrics interpreted as:

It was established that people stare at her beauty with astonishment, then It became mandatory that I should also stay in her town for some time to evaluate the truth. It was recognized that she has a kind eye towards the modest and needy, so I thought I should pass through to get noticed and find the veracity of my fate. It was also registered that she has a connection with those in suffering, so I decided to ruin myself to know where I stand.

It was denoted that she has a liking for poetry and meaningful prose, so I presumed it is about time to subject my talent for her scrutiny. It was documented that when she talks people get mesmerized, so I felt that I should open a conversation with her. It was told that butterflies tease her in the days and fireflies halt to overcome their curiosity at nights, then it became an obligation for me to test it with my own eyes.

It was heard too that her eyes have a spectacular sparkle in them and deer look at her to get jealous in amazement and it was believed that her gazes bear a devastating effect on people, so I assumed I should make myself a target for her satisfaction. It was known that inevitably her reflection brings glamour and grace for attraction, so even modest and simple-minded try to groom and dress well to gather courage to present themselves.

It was told that roses envy her slenderness and delicacy of appeal, so I was left with no option except to blame the spring season and discern the covetous. It was noted that the curves and contours of her figure are so intimidating that flowers had to cut their petals in order to compete with her. It was renounced that breezes circumvolute when she stands still and her movements create moments of stillness in appreciation of her gait.

It was fabled that her dwelling is adjacent to paradise, so that residents of heaven and earth get influenced by it simultaneously. It proved a legendary acceptance that who could bear to see her bareness unclothed, except the closed doors and walls of her house to get the chances occasionally. Let it be an overstatement or exaggeration of her personality or a dream of the expectant but I wished to fortify my interpretation for my own solace.

With all her prettiness, charm, elegance, beauty and liveliness, I was not sure whether I deserve a share of it or not, but I preferred I should allow a chance of her company in solitude to determine my luck, even for a while to get contented with facts and it will become my destiny to remain with her or to leave her town in search of calms and peace to suit my desires and needs elsewhere in wilderness.

The audience were marveled and musicians were enthralled. There incurred a pause, a silence which spoke for itself. The staff were engrossed and the students were captivated by this performance. Master bowed down and stepped out of the stage. Each one of them mistook the contents as addressed to them in particular. It was their wishful thinking. It was followed by a folk dance exhibited by the junior students, but could not allure the audience. The compeer announced the last performance of the evening and people were prepared to leave. Anna was a senior student who took over the microphone. She sang a melody not heard before. The equivalent meaning prose was:

You have actually hurt my feelings by keeping quiet but it would have been better if you had abandoned me and rejected me and abused me. Instead you continued remaining thoughtful and kind towards me. My desires and adoration exceeded in quantity, quality and duration for your attention and I knew that you will not disappoint me.

This seemed to be the way you were raised and your behavior appear to be an intrinsic nature of softness and yielding that you believed in forgiveness in spite of bearing and tolerating the injury and insult. You seemed to be spring exceeding in time, for those who yearn for it and your persona meant to please others who want it. It was like insanity has taken over sane ingenious mind of yours, in dealing with the worldly affairs.

Even though you kept silent and unresponsive to my indifference, you kept greeting and treating me gently. You accepted my wishes and sublimed to my desires allowing me to survive happily. The best part of you is left untranslated and your fragrance kept burning inside me. Your handsome manliness kept distancing away from me, which was agony and anguish for me in solitude.

You remained close and sentimental to my liking, as though a somber drinker has lifted a glass of wine for the sake of deception. This is what you are to me like a soulmate without a soul and the world kept craving for your interest and attention as though your loving touch may console their thumping hearts and may continue embalming their wounds for healing. The curiosity of my heart was neither tarnished nor tranquilized, when embarrassments were replaced by remorse.

I never had any inhibitions to converse with you and the elegance of your company was never so charming before like now. You seem to have stolen my calm and composure and my heart never felt such restlessness like this. The looks in your eyes never had such magical influence on me that my eagerness for your attention was never so desperate to get focused and that is how my life was spent awaiting you.

Anna stopped. The audience applauded. It was another hit performance of the evening. They seemed to want more, but the program ended in disbelief and people remained seated. Compeer had to step up the stage again and thanked the audience for their patient attendance and appraisal and announced termination of the convocation’s cultural program. People slowly and gradually started thinning out. The staff and organizers remained. Principal got up to greet Anna as she came out of dressing room. If Master was a knockout Anna was heart breaking. Both deserved congratulations.

Anna was the prettiest girl of the college, well behaved and well-mannered with a tinge of shyness. As she passed by, Principal held her arm and patted her back. I never knew you could sing so well. Anna shrunk a little and said Thank you Ma..am. Were you addressing to anyone in particular, Principal teased her. No Ma..am, of course not. She blushed, as the question was overheard by others too. I know. I know. I was just kidding. May I have the permission to leave. Yes. Yes. Go ahead. Good night. Anna was intending to leave and there was a hue and cry from her friends, who surrounded her and hugged her.

At some distance she could view Master standing behind the tree trunk. He simply appeared in her field of vision. He also seemed interested to approach her to pass on a word of praise. She was equally inquisitive to do the same. This chance of meeting was basically meant to exchange pleasantries. She knew, but the group of girls giggling and laughing were not making it to happen. She felt helpless and Master’s smile was that of understanding. He waved her good bye and moved on. She went back to her room in the adjacent hostel.

She looked into the tall mirror and her reflection pleased her. She was pretty tall with a complexion clean as a glass. Her eyes clear water blue. Her hair black and silky-smooth falling on her shoulders. Her pretty features had an innocence worth admiration. Her figure was flawless out of dancing practice, day in and day out. She had managed to hide her body in loose fitting clothes. She never intentionally liked to exhibit her assets. Of course, she could not help when the weather becomes breezy and winds thrusting to expose her hour-glass shape. That is the reason she avoided going to beach or getting drenched in sea water or rains.

The exhibition had

imposed certain

conditions that flowers

should look like

flowers and emit their

fragrance too.

CHAPTER 2

The Principal’s office was busy that day. It was summer time and vacations were to be announced. Her name was Erika. She was in late twenties and belonged to an influential family to have been given this authoritative post. She was yet another promising spinster, but a good-looking one. She was moon faced with childlike innocence. She wore a shell frame glasses and used to look above them with piercing intensity. She was pretty and dressed elegantly. The staff older to her could use her first name of Erika but students were in habit of calling her Ma..am.

Nobody could enter her office unless allowed by her secretary from the Ante-room. Only Master was allowed entry un-announced for some obscure reasons. The secretary had no objections to it. The buzzer will indicate the secretary to send the next awaiting person in the list, at the end of each session. Secretary was a young girl with curvaceous body lines, which she proudly exhibited by wearing tight clothes. Her name was Olivia and her room were equipped with a desk, a computer, phone and trays full of files. She was an efficient worker blessed with multi-task maneuvers.

The lobby with the reception desk was full of visitors. The name of the receptionist was Chloe and her jobs were to direct people to different directions as per their needs. There was an intercom facility to receive calls on the main line and to redirect the callers to different departments. Most of visitors were parents with requests to re-evaluate student performance. Some were representatives of the suppliers and some were officials for communicating the state’s preferences and to give directives accordingly. All visitors were entertained according to their times of attendance and insertions of their cards or chits with their names written on them. Principal was referring almost all of them to Master for necessary action and follow up.

The lobby became half empty before the lunch break. During lunch time Master peeped in the ante-room and secretary’s face glowed and her mood was elevated. She had a liking for Master, very different than others about which he had no idea. She waved her hand to go in and he did without knocking. Principal gleamed, smiling happily and gestured him to take the seat. She leaned towards the distantly placed tray to pick up a folder and her cleavage was visible between fully formed bosom beneath a low-cut blouse. Whether it was on intention or convenience was anybody’s guess. Master tucked the folder under his elbow and turned to leave, while he overheard her remark. See me in the afternoon, after the class.

Master knew education is important and learning fine arts is even more, for it satisfies the pre-morbid personality interests too. In a privately sponsored college with high brow environment along with an air of pride can become hard for both students and their parents. For those who are interested in learning, here in public school the environment was congenial and welcoming. Students don’t have to wear uniforms and were allowed to wear casual dresses almost in a haphazard way along with teachers, that gave a family kind of atmosphere. Master recalled that Erika has a special class for seniors this day.

He thought of replacing her, seeing the lobby half full of visitors still. He returned back to propose his voluntary help. He repented no sooner he entered the office. Erika was stretching her arms after removing her coat without any concern of being intruded, but she didn’t expect any. It was summers and humidity were high. She was in her white button-down blouse and pants but did not bother to hide herself. He was amazed at her full and firm body. He pretended that it was not unusual and expressed his proposal. She took time in replying, Thank you. I will manage and as such I am referring them back to you to attend to their assignments.

Erika had a way of asking questions to let the students get the intriguing information imprinted in their memories, not realizing that students become wary when pulled out for questioning. In her class girls would be stiff like card boards, looking for someone to take them away from the incompatible surroundings. There was always vehemence in her tone and girls used to become positively spooked, but she liked teaching and believed that everybody has to teach something useful. Fashion designing didn’t interest her, so she was always dressed casually in the most comfortable clothing. It was easily possible to work and learn and no scope for welfare towards able bodies.

There was no justification for him to sit any longer but he took his chances. He sat facing her, to signify that she may better converse her need to see him in the afternoon before closing time. She gave some instructions after understanding his purpose. He was byhearting the assignments, without scratching a word in the notebook placed on his lap. His expression was soft and his eyes were genteel. He exhaled deeply and shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t feel out of place, while exchanging this one-sided talk during lunch hour, while she started eating and dictating some more instructions. He knew she always wanted to prove her point of view very emphatically.

But do see me before you leave. Now you can have your lunch and inform the secretary to send the next on list. She must have finished her lunch. Erika still pressed the buzzer sub-consciously and secretary entered. Please clean the table and start sending the visitors, when you are ready. It was an indication for Master to leave. He also had some petty errands to complete outside and he left. He passed the receptionist and exchanged smiles. He thought of stopping at her desk to make some inquiries but postponed it to some other time. Chloe sensed his hesitation and invited him to share her free time. She looked appealing in her blue skirt and white T-shirt, with her name plate pinned on it. She stretched back and her T-shirt rode up, revealing a tattoo on the left hypochondrial area just above her waist band.

Master faked not to have noticed it and moved on. He went out in spite of drizzle. Rains in summer could be fun and relaxation. He got wet. His shirt sticking to his chest with the upper buttons open, he enjoyed the rain lashing on to his skin. The drizzle having turned into heavy petting, he continued moving, crossed the parking lot, got into his car and drove away. He did not notice the gate keeper saluting him. Pending jobs were on his mind. They were friendly but crossed their paths only sporadically. He also wondered about Erika’s call to see him in the evening. The reason behind it was unknown. He came on the road and drove between big plots of open land which could room large warehouses or storage centers.

The road was wide and straight for him to exceed the speed limit. The neighborhood was sprouting with high rise buildings. Soon the area would become the last refuge for peaceful living, he thought. The transition would take its own time and not easier than expected. The traffic was light in the area and he crossed the budding shopping centers and some upcoming grand hotels. He reached the downtown area from the south side. It didn’t look pastoral but it wasn’t beaten up too. This part was host to many governmental offices, banks and high-rise residential complexes. It was recently subjected to beautification, with neon signs and colored lighting added to its glamor.

He was thinking about the progress of the nation, which is dependent on secular education. It had been an important part of his curriculum as his mind was academic. He was also considering that it will help fine arts student to get computer enhancement skills, but again it was dependent on how a human brain tackles it. Students should adjust to the situations as and when they face it. It seemed like an admixture of gratifications with identity problems. He attended to the tasks and completed the required paper work warranted for the college and was in time to his pending assignments.

It was after college hours that he could return and went straight to Erika’s office. No sooner she saw him her heart lurched. Her lower lip entrapped in her upper teeth she looked beautiful. She smelled of jasmine, his favorite fragrance. He was all ears. She stood silent for few moments and looked over her shoulder. He couldn’t understand her need of him at this hour. She was at her desk looking at the magazine’s same page without turning to the next, as though not able to focus the salient steps she has to take. Finally, she made a plan and was satisfied with it. The execution may take the chance priority at any given time. It seemed the right time.

She looked up to note that Master’s clothes were wet. His chest hair was visible from the opening of his shirt collar. His shirt was glued to his chest. She wanted to feast her eyes. She gazed at