Life, Love & Butterflies

By Ruby Hill James

Life, Love & Butterflies is a novel by Ruby Hill James.

A wretched husband and a betrayed heart were the rotting fruits of Katrina Marshall’s thirty-year marriage. Divorce offers her sweet freedom—a remedy to sweep away the ashes of burned vows. But when an unforeseen tragedy transitions her celebratory divorce plans to a funeral, Katrina’s life is quaked, and cracks can be seen in everything. Now a wreckage holds her hostage to rubble and a shattered reflection. Katrina is forced to box and shelve her heart. Yet when she meets handsome businessman Bradley Knowles, love may prove to be a force that can’t be buried. And like butterflies, hearts can’t stay cocooned.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 28, 2019
• ISBN: 9781796016864

Ruby Hill James

Ruby Hill James is the author of Life, Love & Butterflies, Shackled by Memory, and Heart in a Bottle. She is a novelist who believes in using the written word to tell stories that showcase the complexity, power and might of love—love so far-reaching that readers are invited to experience it with every turn or swipe of a page—healing and uplifting their own spirits one laugh, cry, and romance at a time. Ruby is a retired Real Estate Title Analyst for the Miami-Dade County Department of Public Works. She enjoys reading, brunches, bible studies…and offering unfiltered wisdom to those who will listen. One of her remedies for heartbreak: “Don’t waste time crying, put on your red lipstick and high heel shoes and walk in your power,” she says.

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Ruby Hill James.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2019901942

ISBN:                  Hardcover                       978-1-7960-1688-8

                            Softcover                         978-1-7960-1687-1

                            eBook                              978-1-7960-1686-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Art by Kaila N. Rudder

Rev. date: 02/28/2019

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Chapter 1

Present Day, June 2008

The phone rang like a scream in the middle of the night. Though her eyes were closed to induce sleep, Katrina was still awake. Most of her friends and family knew her rule: no calls after 10 o’clock unless it was an emergency. She sensed something was gravely wrong. Glancing at the caller ID, she saw it was her husband’s best friend, Charlie Graham. The urgency in his voice rattled her core.

Please come to St. Vincent Hospital [sounds of loud static] … Oscar… [hyperventilating, a woman shouting, and more sounds of clamoring static] … The line went dead before she could respond. Heavy silence followed with an eerie, unspoken understanding. A snake of dread entered the room, weaving around her ankle ensuring she would be bitten. Forcing herself to think clearly, Katrina jumped out of bed and hurriedly slipped on jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed her purse, and ran to the car.

Caution be damned, she sped up the freeway. As she raced, she tried to call Charlie back from her cell, but there was no answer. ‘‘Oh Lord, she cried out. The fright in Charlie’s voice haunted her spirit. The closer she got to the hospital, the more her heart raced. Calm down," she whispered to herself as she parked her car.

The cold hospital air shocked and enveloped her like an avalanche as she ran into the emergency room. The receptionist directed her down the hall to the nurses’ station. Oscar Marshall? His name felt strange leaving her lips.

Are you a relative? The nurse looked up from reviewing a folder. I’m Mrs. Marshall…his wife, Katrina stuttered. Another nurse jerked her head around in surprise. His wife? You’re Mrs. Marshall? She looked confused. Yes. I need to see my husband…is he okay?

I’ll get the doctor. The confused nurse scurried down the hall. Katrina hugged her waist and released a heavy sigh to calm her pounding heart and steady her shaking knees. Something is wrong, she muttered. I just know it. She saw Charlie walking toward her, and his grim countenance caused her stomach to coil. He’s gone, Kat. He cried and wrapped his arms around her shuttering shoulders. For a moment, everything became a blur and seemingly a frightful dream. The nurse, who had been shocked to learn that she was his wife, returned with a short middle-aged doctor. Hello, Mrs. Marshall, I’m Dr. Metcalf. He extended his hand to hers. He had an endearing bedside manner, but Katrina wasn’t soothed. She pushed away from Charlie and raised her trembling hand to shake his. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Marshall. Your husband had a massive heart attack. Katrina gazed at him for a moment and unconsciously held on to his hand. Charlie turned his back and leaned against the wall.

Dr. Metcalf ushered her down the corridor, and it seemed like the longest walk she ever took. When they entered the room where Oscar’s lifeless body lay, the coil in her stomach traveled to her throat. Her knees weakened as she hugged her waist again.

Someone will be here to assist you in making further arrangements. Dr. Metcalf placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before leaving the room. Katrina felt shock, confusion, and a hint of anger that tempted for release. Oddly enough, at the same time, she couldn’t feel at all. Her body caged a strange and severe storm of emotions. She took a long breath and gazed into Oscar’s face. Tears wanted to come but couldn’t. How awful? Shouldn’t she be hysterical with sadness? The betrayal and mental anguish she endured for the last five years overshadowed grief.

It was the thought of her children that burst the dam, and tears gushed from her eyes. She gripped her waist tighter. Her fists balled tight, driving her pristinely-painted French manicure into her palms. A soft knock came on the door. Katrina turned and saw the same nurse. Her former look of confusion was replaced with pity. Excuse me, Mrs. Marshall. I have your husband’s belongings and release papers to sign."

Katrina expected more than the small brown bag labeled O. Marshall. It reeked of perfume. But his watch, wedding ring, gold chain, set of keys, and wallet were accounted for. Thank you. The nurse left the room and Katrina peered down at Oscar’s cold, dead face again and wondered what happened to the man she once called her prince. Prince? Bastard husband more like it. She leaned against the wall to steady herself for the next dreadful task, telling her children and Carl that their beloved father and brother was dead.

24 Hours Earlier

A month before her 53rd birthday, Katrina Marshall, affectionately known as Kat, sat quietly at her kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and nibbling a buttered croissant. She was an attractive, slender woman with brown doe eyes and a warm smile. Unlike most of her friends, she never shied away from getting older. In fact, she loved birthdays, and this one would be quite special.

After 33 years of marriage to Oscar Marshall, the hatchet was about to strike. For the last five years, the man she loved for more than half of her life stopped loving her. It was time she took down the curtain of denial, face reality, and file for divorce! Her long-awaited announcement would shock the hell out of family and friends. Divorce meant loss. But heck, their marriage—a tale of love turned loveless—was already six feet under. It could stay there for all she cared. And she refused to lay with it. Katrina sipped her coffee and reflected. She needed resurrection. Divorce offered her new life; it called for celebration. Although she was eager to end her marriage, remnants of fear gnawed at her soul.

She gazed longingly at her left hand. The white gold ring with a princess-cut diamond and matching band mocked her sadness. With a long shaky breath, she slowly slipped them off her finger. Unlike her marriage, the gems still shined. Their sparkle was hypnotizing. She began to remember a time when her heart beat was gentle and her smile as bright as the sun.

Summer 1977

It was a beautiful summer day in July when she met Oscar Louis Marshall, a tall and handsome groomsman at her cousin Jeffrey Arnold’s lakeside wedding in Atlanta, Georgia. The sun was setting, and the still waters birthed a sense of peace in the atmosphere. She locked eyes with the man standing so perfect in statue—it was destiny. He was infatuated with her infectious smile and warm brown eyes. Katrina looked stunning in a strapless blue satin sheath that clung to her 5'8" slender body like a glove. Her hair, pulled back in an elegant bun, accentuated her flawless melon complexion.

Immediately after the ceremony, the handsome groomsman wasted no time introducing himself. Oscar Marshall, he said smoothly. His boldness caught her off guard. Katrina Williams, she responded shyly. It was a rather awkward introduction as if they were on a first date and neither one of them knew what to say. He broke the tension first. She learned he was home from the military on furlough.

Army, Air Force, Navy or …? Katrina felt shy under his gaze when she spoke to him. He looked at her like they were more than strangers.

Army, ma’am. He winked at her and continued to gaze.

She plucked a daisy from the grass to busy herself but still engaged him. Army? How interesting…I just moved back to begin teaching in the fall.

Back? My, he sure was nosy. She looked up from examining the flower. Amused, she smiled at him. He smiled back. Nosy but charming, she thought.

I grew up here in Atlanta but later moved to North Carolina. Then I graduated from Tennessee State University with a B.A. in Education.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. He placed his hand across his heart apologetically. Katrina waved airily. You just asked a question…and I needed to clarify. They laughed. Feeling more at ease, she placed the flower in his suit pocket.

Katrina found Oscar’s manners impeccable and his charm impossible to ignore. At the reception, they danced and laughed, holding onto one another as if they’d known each other for a lifetime. It was her cousin’s wedding, but she felt like prince charming had just walked into her life. Oscar held her tenderly and close. She felt the warmth and strength of his body. It fit hers perfectly. She didn’t want the night to end

Katrina wasn’t keen on first impressions, but tonight gave reason to change her mind. Before she got into her car to leave, Oscar fearlessly and passionately kissed her, and it was impossible to resist him. He asked for her telephone number, and she didn’t hesitate to scribble it down on a napkin. Driving home she whispered, What a night, what a dance, and what a kiss!

Careful not to wake her roommate, Jill King, she quietly tip-toed to her room and closed the door. Jill was a flight attendant and had just returned from Los Angeles. Jill and Katrina were best friends since childhood, but their personalities were like night and day. After Katrina graduated from college, her announcement to move back to Atlanta didn’t sit well with her older sister Liza. Being overprotective of her sisters, Liza wanted her to live in North Carolina. But when Katrina said she would be sharing an apartment with Jill, Liza was content. Jill King was considered the fifth sister. She was a beautiful young woman who practically raised herself. Jill moved out of her mother’s home at the age of eighteen, worked her way through community college, and soon after landed a job as a flight attendant. Jill was high spirited and liked to party. Katrina, on the other hand, was more reserved. A typical Saturday night for her could easily be a tub of popcorn and a sitcom on TV.

Yet that night Katrina felt like a budding rose. A wonderful man had just swept her off her feet. She slipped into her pajamas and got in bed. Surprisingly minutes later, the house phone rang. Oscar must have been just as smitten to call her so late. She didn’t care about the time. Their conversation was enriching. She spoke affectionately about her three sisters and how serious they took Thanksgiving and birthdays. Her older sister Liza was married and living in North Carolina when their mother, Colleen, died from ovarian cancer. Katrina was a junior in college, and Myra, the second oldest, had just landed a job with IBM in San Diego, California. So Liza stepped in to help raise their youngest sister Leah. Despite the distance, no matter where they were or what they were doing, Liza demanded their presence on Thanksgiving.

However, Oscar was hesitant when Katrina asked him about his family. Listening to his sad story, she understood why. Oscar and his younger brother, Carl, were shuffled from one foster home to another because of alcoholic parents. When Oscar was 13, his parents were killed in a car accident after a wild night of drinking. But a saving grace came to their rescue. Their mother’s older sister, Nan, and her husband, Buddy, took them in. They found love and stability living with their aunt and uncle. The heaviness subsided when Oscar boasted about his army career and Carl graduating from the Atlanta Police Academy. Katrina didn’t realize their conversation would end up so emotional. Talking about his birth parents was like ripping the scab off an old wound. But she wanted to know this man who sparked her womanly embers in such a short period of time.

Before her mother died, she constantly talked to Katrina and her sisters about life and its lessons. It was like she knew her time with them was short and wanted them as prepared as possible for life. Out of the many warnings her mother gave them, one remained constant, Be mindful of the company you keep. In the weeks that followed, Katrina and Oscar were inseparable. Oscar loved poetry, and she beamed when he wrote a poem just for her. Jill teased her about her prince charming and predicted indeed he would become more. Conceding to Jill’s clairvoyance, Katrina knew she was right. Her mother had once told her, You will know love when you feel the butterflies. They were the most exciting 28 days she’d ever lived in her life, and she did feel the butterflies. Besides Oscar’s good looks, she was fascinated by his sense of humor and interesting stories of military life. Unlike most guys she dated, Oscar wasn’t aggressive but incredibly romantic. Of course, he knew that Katrina was no ordinary girl and didn’t want to blow his chances with an amazing young woman.

On the last day of his furlough, they spent the entire day together. Katrina was impressed when he took her to his brother’s small apartment and offered to cook her dinner. She didn’t know if his intentions were pure, but when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her with urgency, dinner was history.

At the age of 21, Katrina was a little embarrassed when she admitted she was a virgin. Enclosed in such warmth and security, he promised to be gentle. Swamped by desire and tears of emotion, he made love to her in the gentlest, sweetest way as promised. Through the joy and pain, she looked at him and whispered, I’m going to miss you.

Whatever she was feeling now or whenever it happened, it was there consuming her heart, body, and soul. It was unthinkable to deny him in any way. His commanding presence, his voice and his touch, even the way he trailed a finger along her face, were electric—emotionally and spiritually. Her greatest fear was not seeing him for two years, and his greatest fear was leaving without letting her know he was also head over heels in love with her.

Excitement resonated in Katrina’s voice when she called Liza and told her about Oscar. Liza knew he had to be a special man because Katrina was selective and fussy when it came down to men. Since moving back to Atlanta, it was Jill’s objective to find Katrina a man of substance, but none sparked her interest. It was obvious that Oscar Louis Marshall was more than an infatuation.

Summer ended. Katrina settled into a teaching position at Clement High School. Though each day she missed Oscar, his sweet letters and pictures gave her comfort. Each night before going to bed, she would read one of his love-filled letters until she fell asleep.

The day Katrina received a letter from Oscar inviting her to spend the Christmas holiday with him in Germany, she felt amazingly special.

Katrina, Myra, and Leah met at Liza’s for Thanksgiving. Leah invited her roommate from college, Angela Rosen, and Myra introduced her fiancé, Randy Alexander. Yet Liza, Leah, and Katrina were surprised to hear the word fiancé. Myra always dated tall and handsome men; Randy was older, short, and chubby. As they sat down at the dinner table and listened to him, they were taken by his intellect, charisma, and humor, which overshadowed any shortcomings.

After dinner, the ladies left Liza’s husband, Nathan, with Randy. It was a tradition for the sisters to pile onto Liza’s king-size bed and vent about their lives or catch up on gossip. Myra decided to tell them more about Randy. She knew they were eager to know what made her fall for this short and chubby man with a charming personality. They were speechless when she told them he came from a family of wealth and owned a prestigious limousine service and had a home in one of San Diego’s elite neighborhoods. Suddenly there was a round of cheers and high fives.

Now that Myra’s business was out of the way, all eyes flashed to Katrina. Leah asked about Oscar, and a glow came over her face as she talked excitedly about him and her invite to Germany. Liza always predicted Leah would get married before Katrina. But after seeing the sparkle in Katrina’s eyes and the glow on her face, Liza sensed that Germany could just be a game changer.

A month later Liza’s hunch paid off. Katrina spent Christmas with Oscar, and it became a fond memory like those initial 28 days. Oscar returned on furlough a year later, and her sisters gave them a spring wedding. Katrina resigned from her teaching position and joined her husband at his army base in Hawaii.

Suddenly the phone rang, pulling Katrina up from the flood of memories that deterred the day’s errands. Katrina’s divorce lawyer’s office was calling to confirm her Friday morning appointment. She quickly rose from her chair, poured out the cold coffee, and tossed the half-eaten croissant in the garbage. I didn’t intend to go that route, she whispered. Too emotional. It was too early for her to drive down memory lane. She needed to get out of the house.

A day out with her best friend Mae Calloway would certainly be refreshing. Instead of playing a round of tennis, they decided to go to the orchid show and then lunch. Perhaps Mae would faint or do a happy dance when Katrina announced her decision to divorce.

Katrina met the bubbly 48-year-old math teacher and Hawaii native at Milford Academy. It was fate that brought the women together. Mae was grieving the death of her husband, Freddy, who died after a long battle with lung cancer. Katrina, who had shifted careers and was now a school guidance counselor, helped her through that difficult time. And over the years, they developed a friendship built on respect, honesty, and trust.

Mae was a no-nonsense kind of woman who didn’t tolerate liars or cheaters. Unfortunately, Oscar fell under both categories. When Mae first met him, she thought he was the most adorable, compassionate man she had ever met, other than her late husband, Freddy. On the surface, Oscar treated Katrina with the utmost respect, and he was very generous to her and their circle of friends. Katrina didn’t want for anything, and their children were his heartbeat.

So when the man Mae admired and respected turned into an unfaithful deceiver, it broke her heart. It broke her heart even more to watch Katrina hold on to a splintered marriage until she was spiritually broken and mentally exhausted. The students Katrina counseled kept her from breaking down. No matter what she endured in her marriage, it was paramount to give them her best. They all faced incredible odds.

She dealt with a lot of troubled students, but none had shaken her to the core like Carolyn Baker. Carolyn, a petite 16-year-old, hadn’t seen her father since she was five. He was a drug addict who had spent time in prison. One day Carolyn rushed into Katrina’s office with excitement on her face. Her father was out of jail and requested a visit, but her mother was hesitant and distrusting. Nonetheless, the hopeful daughter pleaded with her mother to give him a chance. The next day Carolyn missed her appointment, and Katrina called her mother. The supposed father-daughter event turned out to be a disaster. He stooped to the lowest denominator. Instead of a happy meeting, he took his daughter to a sleazy place and offered her up for crack. Hearing that detestable story, Katrina determined to turn her personal pain into positive energy. Who was she to give into sadness when there were students at risk? So with dedication and passion, she spearheaded an after-school tutoring program. Her objective was to get the students engaged and to work hard to achieve their goals. But for Katrina, it was more than just a program to improve students’ academics, it was a means of healing for students like Carolyn.

Mae sent her a text, Don’t forget the orchid show starts at noon. It was typical of her to be a bee in Katrina’s bonnet about time. Today was special, and she didn’t need a reminder. It was a day to wear something bright. The yellow paisley-print sleeveless sheath was her choice. Perfect, she said standing in front of the mirror. Although Katrina was in her fifties, her body was amazingly fit, courtesy of her balanced diet with occasional jogging, swimming, playing tennis, and bike riding every week.

Her self-admiration faded when she combed her brown hair and noticed a few streaks of gray. A come-to-Katrina moment, so to speak. It was time to get rid of the damn ponytail and the gray. Take control of your life. No more wasting time hoping and wishing. This marriage is done, she thought. For the first time in a long time, despite the streaks of gray and the stupid ponytail, the woman in the mirror forced a welcomed and pleasing smile.

The drive to Mae’s house was relaxing; the sun was bright, and the air was fresh. Instead of listening to irate political jocks on the radio, Katrina slipped in her favorite Lionel Richie CD. His smooth voice made her feel free of troubles.

Mae happily waved from her porch when Katrina pulled in her driveway. Katrina knew her friend was only smiling because she was on time for once. But that grin would grow wider with the news she had to share.

Thank God school’s out. Mae let out a sigh of relief as she buckled her seatbelt. It was good to sleep in this morning, but it would’ve been better if I had a sweet man beside me.

What happened to Martin? Katrina joked. Martin was an investment banker involved in local politics; he was devoted to Mae. Their relationship had been on and off for the last two years.

Martin is just too boring. Mae smirked. And snores like a bear.

Well, I was up early and… I’m filing for divorce. Katrina spoke casually as if talking about the weather.

Mae’s head snapped in her direction. Oh? In disbelief, she studied her face. I’m lost for words.

Oh, that’s a first for you, Mae Calloway. Katrina laughed. You’re never lost for words.

There’s always a first and this is one. Mae never thought Katrina would consider divorcing Oscar. She loved him and was willing to tolerate his deceitful behavior just to keep her family together. There were times when her eyes were sad, and her smiles weren’t true. Her sisters, Liza, Myra, and Leah, wanted him gone and to give her some peace. Even her old friend Jill’s constant plea to leave the bastard rang hollow. Despite pressure from family and friends, Katrina continued to prepare dinner for her husband, whether he was early or late. And Oscar never stopped providing for her, he just stopped being faithful. So pulling the plug on their toxic charade was a victory. Basking in the good news, Mae suggested they skip the orchid show and have a celebratory lunch at Oceanside, a trendy seafood restaurant.

Feasting on lobster salad and merlot, Mae was eager to know what miracle pushed Katrina to finally let go. Tell me, Kat, what sparked this radical decision? Katrina paused her fork midway to a bite and placed it back down. I looked at the lady in the mirror, she replied. Katrina spoke calmly, and her eyes were clear rather than hurt. She was sad, lonely, tired… She wanted more in life, to laugh, have a candlelit dinner in some small café, take long walks on the beach and maybe…

Fall in love again? Mae asked and wore a teasing grin. Katrina raised a brow but didn’t find it amusing. I’ve tried to save face. I’ve been such a fool. And my five children, especially my daughters, watched me allow Oscar to trample on my trust, love, and our vows. It was me. I allowed it. No more. This is it! A long pause followed as Katrina picked over her salad. She was empowered. Oscar is in the house, but his heart isn’t. Now, he can follow it. I want him out of my home! I don’t want anything but spousal support. He’s successful and worked hard, but so did I. And I want what’s due to me.

Mae held back tears. She was happy to see her friend take off the mask and speak candidly about her deep-seeded emotions and fears. For the past five years, she lived in a bubble of hope that promised her marriage would mend, always trying to be a savior to everyone else while she was drowning. Katrina lifted her chin. The best thing that came out of this marriage were my five babies. They’re the reason I ignored the idea of putting a hole in that bastard’s head!

Katrina Marshall? Mae gawked in disbelief. I didn’t know you had it in you. She shook her head. This mistake wasn’t worth losing my children and my freedom. Divorce is the best way. Mae reached over and held Katrina’s hand. I think that lady in the mirror made the right decision. I want to see the sparkle in her eyes again. She reassuringly squeezed her hand.

After lunch, they browsed the mall for a while and drove back to Mae’s house. Besides, Katrina was in no hurry to go home. Oscar came home early every Wednesday to get ready for poker night. But the usual dinner wouldn’t be there waiting for him. She would no longer give him that luxury ever again.

The two ladies sat by Mae’s pool soaking their feet in the cool water. Katrina wanted to stay. Mae