Nash Simpson: the Porn Groomer: A Tale of Love

By Xlibris US

Sometimes the purest of souls are birthed by the most amoral persons in the worst of environments. Despite lacking adequate nurturing and nature working against him, being born to addicts, Nash remained gold. Tragedy and depravity filled but not formed his formidable years. His light always shined bright. Far from a man would he be before losing mother, aunt and guardian. Lifestyle of lust, lust for drugs and alcohol leads to their demise, a demise they readily accept. But then theres Nash; that rose that grew from the concrete or in his case maybe the magic mushroom sprouting from the cattle dung. No matter how ugly his surrounding Nashs beauty always shows, shining through the haze. Older cousin Todd is charged with caring for young Nash but was unfortunately predisposed to his mothers afflictions. Lost Todd would become; Nash helped him find himself while finding the love of his life, Tiffany. Great success Nash would see at a young age, helping all lost souls within his reach. Groomer of porn stars he became but it never defined him. He was placed in their lives for a reason and now he understood why.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 22, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499002324

Book preview

Prologue

A pocket of purity lies within a family with a tradition of debauchery and abuse… of themselves. Lifestyle of lust, lust for drugs and alcohol leads to their demise, a demise they readily accept. But then there’s Nash; that rose that grew from the concrete or in his case maybe the magic mushroom sprouting from the cattle dung. No matter how ugly his surrounding Nash’s beauty always shows, shining through the haze. The haze came in the form of cigarette, marijuana, methamphetamine or crack smoke. Through the clouds of toxins he crawled, eventually toddled and later peddled his big wheel never seeming to be affected by the pollutants he inhaled. Never would the boy have the desire to indulge in the sinful activities of his parents and older kin. Escape his surroundings and circumstance he could not outwardly but internally the boy grew to be different.

Cousin Todd, primary caregiver by default becomes involved in the business of sex film and production landing Nash in another ugly environment. Within his cousin’s dirty business Nash injects his beauty while not being corrupted by the company he was forced to keep. Love he had never been taught through experience but the lad always held an abundance of it in his heart. The golden within him shined through to all he encountered. Love for a woman he would know, a woman of purity she would not be yet he never judged. Unconditional was Nash’s love and he offered it freely. Problems, perilous situations and legal troubles would be experienced by those closest to Nash. He would love them through and out of it all. A porn groomer, never being defined by his profession Nash is so much more. His journey to greatness would be like that of no man before him and no man since. A leader of men Nash would become while staying true to himself, loving through life.

Chapter 1

What is love?

Nash whispered to himself as he stared intently into the bathroom mirror of the one bedroom apartment he shared with his older cousin Todd. The fourteen year old focused his stare patiently trying to look into his own soul. Eventually he saw him, the inside him. He could see the true Nash, spirit of Nash. The feeling was fleeting as he was snapped from his trance by the sound of his older cousin’s voice calling him to dinner.

Nash what’re you doing in there, whacking off?

Nash hurried into the small living room and took a seat next to Todd on their dingy brown couch. On the coffee table in front of them sat two hot pies from Antonio’s Pizzeria, one sausage, the other pepperoni. Nash punched his cousin in the shoulder for making light of his affinity for pleasuring himself manually.

Dude I wasn’t whacking off. I was just looking in the mirror.

Ok Squirt, take it easy.

Squirt Nash hated the nickname given to him by Todd. He had been calling him that for years, long before the death of Nash’s mother. The two sat side by side watching Head Bangers Ball on MTV. The year was 1992, back when Music Television actually played music videos. They ate their dinner straight from the boxes, Nash sipped from a two liter of orange soda and Todd guzzled from a quart of beer. Nash really wasn’t a huge Heavy Metal fan but Todd controlled the television when he was home. Nash was more of a Soft Sock fan until he was introduced to Grunge by some kids at school. Now Nash was the world’s biggest Nirvana fan. Well, at least that’s what he called himself.

Nash came into the care of his nineteen year old cousin through the most tragic of circumstances. A mild mannered sandy blond haired green eyed little boy, Nash was born to an addict and convict in the Summer of 1977. No one knows where the boy came from or who he took after. He always seemed to be a bit regal to be birthed into a family of such losers, abusers and underachievers. Nash was always a bright, independent boy who didn’t trouble the adult scum much, whom he was cursed to be kin to. His father Clyde got arrested at age nineteen for his participation in the holding up of a dice game. A member of his three man crew got a tad bit too anxious or just plain sacred. A trembling forefinger tugged on a hair trigger transforming a 211 into a 187. Clyde was charged with robbery homicide, his accomplices were minors so Clyde took most of the weight.

Candy, Nash’s mother had already developed a few nasty habits at age eighteen. Candy especially liked the nose candy and she would do anything to get it. Her love for narcotics led to the conception of Nash. Candy would occasionally dabble with syringes, balloons and spoons; mixing and cooking brown death to sniff or inject. Sometimes she would mix the brown with the candy and speed ball the night away.

By age twenty-four her health was already failing. Candy’s once vibrant green eyes were now void of all emotion, saddled with huge bags. The once beautiful eyes were now transparent giving a clear view of her dying soul. Ninety-eight pounds, legions growing on different regions of her small frame, Candy coughed more than she spoke. Never did Candy need the services of an orthodontist in her youth; she always had the straightest pearly white teeth, never a cavity. In her mid twenties they had all but rotted from her tiny cracked mouth. On the coldest winter night Florida had felt in years, God showed grace and mercy saving Candy from her misery returning her home. Her death saddened young Nash; the twenty-six year old mother of one left this earth with that one accomplishment, mothering Nash. Well, Candy never did much mothering but she did birth him and for that Nash was always grateful and loving towards her. Even when she was sick and hard to look at Nash still hugged and treated Candy the same as he always did. He loved her… but didn’t necessarily miss her. Clyde, Nash never knew. The con had only set eyes on the boy once as an infant. He never had much desire or time for a relationship much more than that with his only son. So Nash came to live with his biological aunt and older cousin at age eight.

Peacefully dysfunctional their household remained throughout Nash’s childhood. Aunt Janis turned tricks during the day in the front room while the boys were at school. Sometimes she had her VIP customers come over at night and stay a little longer. In addition to her prostituting Janis always kept her a sugar daddy or two to supplement her income and fund her drug habit. There was always some old fool who found himself under the spell of the harlot siren. She was very much a functional alcoholic and drug addict, always in control of her faculties. She always used but never abused like her younger sister. Janis was just a little lazy and liked to party, so she figured she’d make it her profession, partying. Janis introduced her younger sister to drugs and alcohol when they were in junior high so she harbored a little guilt over Candy’s demise. Taking in Nash wasn’t something that she wanted to do but the boy wasn’t much trouble and he was her blood so she felt obligated. Janis would not however allow the presence of Nash to alter her lifestyle so the boy learned a lot, fast and young. He most certainly learned more outside the classroom than inside once exposed to his Aunt Janis’ way of living.

Nash had on too often an occasion witnessed his Aunt Janis practicing her vocation in various parts of the house, yard, in parked cars and in the back stairwell. Never shamefully whether anally, orally or vaginally if Nance came into her presence while she was performing her duties she would just quietly shoo him off and continue serving her customer. Janis tried to be somewhat discrete but sometimes she had to just take the work when it came her way. She couldn’t always schedule around the boys’ comings and goings.

Todd would always just avoid going where he heard the moaning, slapping or slurping sounds coming from. It was normal to Todd, his mother’s lifestyle. It was what he knew and was raised in, the sex trade. Janis would later scold Nash whenever he interrupted her work.

Listen Sugar, you can’t be walkin’ in on Auntie when she’s workin’ ya hear? That work keeps the lights on and food on the table around here so I need my time and space to do it.

Nash almost giggled out loud at hearing his aunt say do it. Even he knew that she was always doing it. Instead he would answer back politely in a meek tone.

Yes ma’am.

Ok now go on in there and tell your cousin Todd I said make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and pour you a glass of milk.

Todd was used to caring for his younger cousin, even before he came to live with them. With each of the boys being essentially born bastards and having mothers who were more interested in getting high than parenting, the boys leaned on one another quite a bit. Nash needed Todd because he was older and could do things he couldn’t and Todd needed Nash for the feeling of self worth the lad gave him. His younger cousin’s admiration for him helped build Todd’s self esteem. Knowing that this kid depended on and looked up to him, helped Todd to see value in himself. They were each more than just the products of addicts and convicts when they were together. The cousins identified with their mothers’ behaviors but didn’t allow it to define them. Love in their hearts they held for the loose women who birthed them but likened to them they never wanted to be.

Tragedy struck the small dysfunctional family again shortly after Nash’s twelfth birthday when Aunt Janis was served a hot shot by one of her dealer/johns who had become a little too possessive. Aunt Janis, forever out to make a buck, took up with Billy Brown’s high school pal Joseph when he returned to town after his second divorce. Romantic feelings for the lady of the night each man held in his heart, whispering sweet nothings in her ear whenever they held her in their arms. No matter how brief the encounter, both Billy and Joseph, would pitch dreams of a better life in a loving home to Janis. Each man was too macho to admit their feelings for Janis to one another because of her occupation and habits. But they were both most certainly smitten. Initially it made no difference to Janis because she was just out to get high and make a buck but eventually her feelings started to change once Joseph’s parents passed away in a boating accident leaving him sole heir to their earthly belongings.

The Spears weren’t rich people by any stretch of the imagination but they did own their home, farm, land and held healthy life insurance policies of which Joseph was the beneficiary. Mr. and Mrs. Spears were always hardworking, frugal people who didn’t see much need for flashy material things. Their practical down home values and conservative lifestyle was wasted on their only child. Joseph was always a dreamer wanting more than he had worked for. He never wanted to live life like the Jones; Joseph wanted to be the one that the Jones envied. So, he spent most of his adult life chasing rainbows until the storm finally came in the form of his second divorce sending him home with his tail between his legs.

For the first time in their lives, Joseph now had a little more than his drug dealing buddy Billy and he wasn’t shamed to show it off. He used his new found fortune to woo Janis and she readily accepted every gesture and token of his love he offered while never discontinuing her work or her relationship with Billy. Billy had the drugs so he would always hold some value in Janis’ cold heart. But most of her time was spent with Joseph, stroking his thinning curly brown hair and half listening to his dreams of a better life for them. As long as he paid for her time she was content.

There were however some very awkward moments when she was in the company of Joseph and had to call Billy over so that he could serve her. Billy would be sure to get her alone and have a brief discussion with her.

So what you and Joseph all in love now or somethin’

My, my Billy Brown; if I’m not mistakin’ it seems that you’re a little jealous. I never seen this side of you before. You getting’ jealous Billy Brown, what Mama ain’t been showin’ you enough attention?

Janis pulled Billy to her by his leather vest as she sat on the tailgate of a rusted out Ford pickup. Her legs straddled his torso and she pressed the heels of her boots to his flat backside making their privates press against one another, denim to denim. Janis hugged tight with both her arms and legs forcing him to embrace her. Billy submitted, stroking the back of her light brown hair. She palmed his butt with both hands and forced him back and forth between her legs in a pumping motion simulating sex. He tried to speak; Billy had plenty to say about Janis’ dealings with Joseph. Janis put her right index finger on his lips quieting him while she began to massage his genitals with her left hand. With her right had she stroked his hairy chest then pinched and twisted his nipples. Janis knew how to turn Billy on. Once he was fully aroused Janis slid off her frayed cut off Levi’s and gave Billy an intense quickie. That was her way of dealing with, rather manipulating men. Janis would get them to think with the head between their legs rather than the head on their shoulders. Billy would throw Janis an extra bag of whatever she wanted and leave the farm feeling a little better about him self. Joseph had the girl but he could get the goods whenever he wanted. Janis returned to the main house and showered before getting high and sexing Joseph until dawn. The man was truly sprung. He had suspicions and even some first hand knowledge of what Janis did but never cared to give it much thought. He was just happy to be with her and his money helped him keep her.

Janis’s little sex game started to run thin when Billy got word that she and Joseph were considering moving away together. Still too much of a man to tell his friend how he felt about this free spirited adventurous women he had fallen in love with, he instead resorted to threatening Janis.

Girl you think I’m dumb? I heard about you and Joseph’s plans to move to Kentucky.

Yea, we been thinkin’ ’bout it so what of it?

Billy rushed up and grabbed Janis around the waist, staring tearfully into her eyes.

How you gonna up and leave me like this!? I thought we had a good thing here and now you just gonna leave… and with him!

Janis pushed away from him; she couldn’t stand seeing weakness in a man.

Pull yourself together man. Yea, yea we had a good thing and unfortunately all good things come to an end. Joseph’s talkin’ ’bout buying a house and some land, he said he’s gonna take care of me and my boys. Hell he’s even talkin’ ’bout sendin’ ’em to college and everything. They ain’t never gonna get that here.

But I take care of you and them boys quite fine. Don’t I? If evers they needs somethin’ I’m always willin’ ta get it for ’em.

Sorry Billy but mostly what you get is me high and I appreciate you for that but this is a better opportunity for their future. I may just be a junkie whore and hell, maybe that’s all I’m ever gonna be but I gotta try to make a better life for them. I chose this, they didn’t; I just wanna give them boys a fightin’ chance so they don’t end up like us.

Whatcha mean end up like us? Baby don’t talk about yourself like that. I remember the first time I seen your pretty face. I was twelve and you were a sophomore cheerleader; I prayed that night that one day I would hold you in my arms and call you my girl. Don’t leave me now… not for him.

By this time Billy had pulled her close again and again she escaped his grasp.

Billy that was a long time ago and now your prayers been answered so what? We’re a mess, we both made a mess of our lives now I’m gonna try to straighten mine up a little bit at least. I’m going to move on to a better life and that’s it Billy.

Billy’s temper exploded as he snatched Janis up by the arm.

Look here bitch you ain’t going nowhere with nobody, especially not him! You hear me!?

Janis had seen Billy like this before so she knew to just agree with him, appeasing him brought the fool calm.

Ok, ok Billy calm down Sweetie. I didn’t know you felt that strong ’bout it. Ain’t nothin’ set in concrete yet I was just thinkin’ ’bout it. You know I would never want to hurt you Billy, don’t be mean to me Baby. You know I couldn’t be away from my Billy Bear for too long.

She rubbed his belly and just like that his mood and behavior were altered. He reverted back to the lovesick babblings about how much he could do for her and how he never wanted to see her go. Janis listened with a grain of salt, sexed him to retrain his mind then made her way back to Joseph’s still determined to move in two months. She would never speak of leaving to Billy again. But unfortunately Joseph wasn’t keen on Billy’s obsession with Janis so he had no problem divulging information on his future endeavors to his old friend.

So you goin’ up to the blue grass uh?

Yea, I just want to start a new life, fresh and clean. Ya know?

Sure, yea I know Joseph, so you ah takin’ Janis and them boys witcha?

Yea, I’m gonna make an honest woman out of her and build a family.

You don’t say Joseph. You plan on getting’ hitched!?

Yea, I been thinkin’ ’bout askin’ her once we get settled and all.

The hairs on the back of Billy’s neck stood up and fire burned in his belly. Whenever his friend would look away, hatred shown on Billy’s face and malevolent thoughts raced through his mind. A short time after getting the information he was in search of he would deal with Janis and her lies. Billy parted ways with his old friend offering a hand shake and a pat on the back. As he climbed into his truck Billy had already formulated a plan to ease the pain Janis had caused his heart with her deceit and lies. He found her at home on the couch watching television with Nash and Todd, Brady Bunch in syndication. Gently he knocked on the door for the last time. She answered with a fake smile to match the false love held within Billy’s heart.

Hey Billy what are you doin’ here?

I just stopped buy to see if you wanted to hang out. I got somethin’ new I want to show you.

That was code for he had a new batch of drugs that he wanted Janis to sample. Janis in the weeks and months prior to Billy’s visit expended more thought; energy and time in focusing on making a future for her and her boys rather than getting high. Janis was not however above accepting free drugs especially if it would keep Billy at bay. Nash looked in the direction of the front door as late dusk sunlight poured into the house around Billy’s body giving him what seemed to be a glowing aura. Nash shielded his eyes with his hand from the sunlight yet he still couldn’t see the man’s face. He recognized the voice but he could only make out a shadow and the bright sunlight. Janis looked into Billy’s eyes and smiled wide before replying.

Well Baby you know I’m always up for somethin’ new.

Good, well I’ll be out in the truck waitin’ on ya.

Janis just kept her smile and shut the door when Billy walked away from it. The smile escaped her face as she turned to face the boys. Nash’s eyes needed time to adjust as he focused on his aunt and what she was saying.

Boys, I’m gonna go out for a little bit. Todd take care of your cousin ya hear?

Yes ma’am.

And Nash I want you to make sure you behave yourself ok?

With that being said she hustled out the door locking it behind her. Nash felt a little uneasy about his aunt leaving with the sun shadow but his cousin Todd just seemed to always block it all out. He never allowed himself to verbally acknowledge his mother’s vices, lax parenting or her occupation. He just loved her simple and plain, loved her enough to pick up her slack and mostly stay out of her way.

Billy made small talk with Janis as they sped down the road towards his apartment.

So whatcha been up to Janis? I don’t see you around much anymore. I have to go and kidnap you just to see your face.

Janis offered quick lie.

Well the boys been strugglin’ in school so I been tryin’ ta give ’em extra help every night. They keep me real busy these days.

Billy looked away out the driver side window so that Janis wouldn’t see the evil expression on his face. Hearing her bold faced lie pissed Billy off and squelched any possibility of him altering his plans. In a short time they were pulling into Billy’s complex. He killed the engine and turned to her with a devious smile on his face. Janis started to feel as if she might be in danger but she had come too far. Billy spoke in a sinisterly jovial tone.

C’mon Baby you’re gonna love this.

Janis offered a nervous smile as she reached for the door handle and slid out of the cab. Billy led her to the front door; Janis trailed two steps behind him. She had thoughts of running off but she knew that Billy would track her down. A silent prayer was said by the woman of the night as her fear grew. Billy opened the door and Janis followed him in closing the door behind her. Billy walked around her back to the door, locked it then attached the security chain. Billy turned to Janis with an ominous grin on his face.

Make yourself at home, have a seat. You want a beer?

Sure, I’ll take a beer.

Billy walked to the kitchen to grab two beers. No time was wasted as he started his pitch.

Janis this the best shit I ever seen in my life. It’s not harsh at all just smooth, it takes you there like the first time… every time.

Janis had heard this spiel from many a drug dealer in the past but for very different reasons. They wanted her business or sex, Billy wanted her death. She wasn’t impressed with what she heard but she played along.

It’s that good? I’ll be the judge of that.

You’ll see.

Billy went to retrieve his special mix from his bedroom. He came out holding a little bag of brown death. Billy grabbed his works and started cooking on a spoon. Janis joined him at the counter as he drew the hot liquid into a syringe.

Billy lit a cigarette and offered Janis one. She took it, lit it and took a long drag. Billy turned to her smiling.

"You ready? You’re