Lingering Shadows

By Dr. Anne R. Murray Ed.D.

Tall Georgia pines sway in the gentle breeze. A small creek winds among the azaleas in the spring. A young deer raises his head listening. This is the atmosphere in which the author creates stories for you to enjoy. For generations her family members have lived on the land and written personal journals and family happenings. Writing and history have been important in their lives.

Dr. Murray takes the book to a whole different level. Life takes a different turn as the events unravel throughout the story. Lingering Shadows is a creation of post-Civil War days. It is the sequel of Glimpses of the Past; Heritage of the Old South, a story created before and during Civil War days. After the main character, Benjamin Green, comes home from the war, he is met with various happenings. Tragedy, determination, love of family and land are entailed in this story.

- Janice E. Wright

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 3, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524685652

Dr. Anne R. Murray Ed.D.

Dr. Anne R. Murray has written for several years. She has explored different avenues of writing: freelance, poetry and creative. Her dedication to writing has produced ten books so far. Dr. Murray earned a doctorate in education and taught public high school until she earned a well-deserved retirement.

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© 2017 Dr. Anne R. Murray, Ed.d. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/31/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5246-8566-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-8567-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-8565-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017904753

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Epilogue

References

About the Author

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my niece Lindsey and her husband Bryan. The couple is expecting their first child, a son, on July 22, 2017. May they find much love and joy in their new arrival.

Acknowledgments

Ever since the summer of 2013, I have been writing and publishing books. I couldn’t have done it without the help and support of others. I can’t even begin to thank everyone that has been instrumental to my publications these past few years.

First, I want to thank my mother, Odene Rakestraw, for her creative artwork. I am appreciative for her effort and adding to this book. In the same matter, I want to thank my niece, Dannie Michelle Wright, for her front cover design and sketches. She is truly artistic and very talented.

My sister, Janice Wright, has been one of my greatest supporters and motivators over the years. I am thankful for her blurb on the back cover.

Many thanks to Glamour Shots for their professional picture for the back cover.

Much thanks to my uncle Robert for his continuous support. He is a competent writer and multi-talented as an artist, musician and columnist.

Many thanks to friends, such as Lee, Lindsay and Cary, that have supported my writing over the years.

Thanks to the professional staff at AuthorHouse Publishers, Inc. for their support and publishing advice.

Introduction

Often, we are led into circumstances in life that weaken, injure or destroy us severely - not just physical wounds or scars, but emotional ones that linger on in time. Benjamin Green was one such person, born before the Civil War era; he couldn’t let go of the past. He continued on with devastation and destruction, even after the war had ended. It occurred in his mind, the tragedy of three brothers who died due to the war. His parents were both dead and his youngest brother died as an infant.

Once he returned from the war, there was a limited amount of food that was rationed for daily survival. With small children to care for, they had milk supplied by the cows, but even the animals were dying out due to starvation. Tragedy hit again the following summer. One of his wife’s closet relatives died. His wife Sarah did not believe she could go on with life.

Life did go on for Benjamin and Sarah, but it wasn’t the same. Much of New Orleans was destroyed by Sherman¹ when he marched through the Southern states. The port, artillery, railroads and transportation were all demolished. Sherman did much damage to the South’s major cities. He did this to cut off supplies and ammunition to the South in hopes of weakening their defenses.² By undermining the Southern psychology and their will to win the war, he gained successful achievement to victory for his Union troops. The strategy worked and brought about the Southern surrender in May 1865, ending the war.³

Benjamin and Sarah did the best they could with their growing family. Benjamin was injured during the war. He sustained a knee injury that left him with crippling pain. He walked with a limp and a cane. It was difficult to harvest the fields with his injury. He sought out medical advice and received healing gradually through surgery.

The soil was in poor condition when Benjamin returned from the war; he had a problem with agriculture and irrigation. He had invented a tool to help him supply natural water from the stream onto his field. Through a new found friend, his invention caught on. It helped many other farmers with similar problems of irrigation. His invention made him a wealthy man overnight, but he still suffered from lingering shadows of war and death.

This book will warm your heart as you read of Benjamin’s triumph to become a legend in his own time. He became a prominent and successful landowner at a young age. Overcoming tragedy in life, he learned where happiness came from: God, family and the heart. He met up with his true friends and angels in life years afterwards. Read how he conquered his fears and doubts and discovered a new way of life – a new existence – in his beloved Rosalyn. Benjamin had Rosalyn restored to an even more majestic home with beautiful rose gardens.

Life has ups and downs, but overcoming the pain is a way to release those lingering shadows. It took Benjamin all his life to learn this; in the end it worked.

Prologue

The Confederacy bowed their heads down and went back home extremely bruised, weary and defeated. The North had been victorious in winning the Civil War. Given the small number of troops left, General Lee was afraid more soldiers would die in battle. He surrendered his troops and army at the House of Appomattox⁴ in May 1865, and with it, the defeat of all Southern states. What of glory? Had the South lost the will to continue fighting or was it an action created by God in judgment? Where was the American pride of the Old South? General Stonewall Jackson⁵ had sworn the South would rise again.

There was no denying that the Civil War left a devastating mark on the nation, especially in the South. Life would be different for survivors. A war that lasted four years, Benjamin Green had seen much devastation and destruction in its path. The image of dismembered soldiers lying on the bloody battlefield in pieces plagued Benjamin a long time afterwards. Some soldiers were still alive crying out for help. No help came for many of them. No one knows the true count of fatalities during the war. Inaccurate records were kept, especially with prisoners of war. The soldiers that survived the war were reminded of the harshness and brutality that existed.

It was a vicious bloody war that led the Old South to its extinction. The country’s major Southern cities, such as Atlanta, Charleston and Chattanooga⁶ lay in ruins. Most would have to be rebuilt from their foundation. The country started the healing process after the final days of the war. Food and water sources were low as deprivation had peaked after the war. The South started to come to grips with an adaptation of change. It would have to reconstruct from the ground up. The Old South had died with the conclusion of the war and with it, the realization that it would never be the same.

Still, the South was weakened and severely crippled by the war. Many of its cotton plantations were destroyed. Only a small percentage remained. Without the labor of free working slave hands, it would be nearly impossible to expedite cotton. Many of the major Southern seaports had been blocked during the war, preventing exportation to other ports. The prime cotton manufacturers of the South were gone.

Benjamin had come home to a different way of life. There were no abundant food resources. The Yankees had travelled through New Orleans and had taken most food supplies, and stripping homes of material possessions and wealth. His family ate from grains, mainly wheat and barley. A once plentiful food supply, it is now scarce and much in demand. The vegetable gardens that flourished before the war were now mere meager handfuls of food. His wife Sarah had sold the oxen during the war to buy clothes and food for the children. There was no more plowing the fields. His children drank milk supplied by their two cows. Sarah used the grains for meal in cooking.

Benjamin had come home from the war after serving well over a year’s service to his country. During this time, he had lost about twenty-five pounds. Benjamin had always been a fairly slim person, but meals were not too nutritious in the army. There were slim pickings of bread, beans and sometimes a slice of pork if available. Water was kept for their canteens, but rationed among soldiers. Sarah thought Benjamin was too thin. She did her best to try to fatten him up, but helpings were sparse. Benjamin slowly started to work his weight back up. His left knee had gradually started to heal where he could stand to put weight on it again. He used a cane when it hurt to walk.

Benjamin’s mind wasn’t completely back with his wife and children. Although he loved being home again, his thoughts often went back to the war images seen. He would sit in silence at times and find quiet time during the days. It was a time that no one dared to enter. The thoughts and glimpses were just that; they existed only in Benjamin’s mind. Sarah hoped he would not return to that ‘depressed state’ before he entered the war. That was a side of Benjamin she didn’t want to see again.

Benjamin was looking forward to the future and moving on from the past. He resumed his farm work soon after returning home. There was so much work to be done. Sarah had done her best maintaining the property with her parents’ and brother’s help, but it wasn’t the same as before. The animals were dying out, as there were less hay and feed available after the war. The horses were becoming thin and the livestock were not as productive as before. The chickens produced a small amount of eggs per day and the number of pigs decreased. Both chickens and pigs were killed for their meat. It put dinner on the table.

Money was tight and every penny was saved. Benjamin looked forward to the sharecroppers’ annual percentage, but that would not be forthcoming for awhile. Andrew’s monthly rent payment was minimal, but gave a little income monthly. Benjamin used that income to buy farm supplies and food for the family. Sugar and flour were not plentiful, but enough to keep going.

In the meantime, the children were growing like weeds. Benjamin had missed that time with Matt starting to walk and Gina being born. Matt turned 2 years old in May and Gina turned 1 year old in July. Gina started exhibiting the beginning stages of walking a little earlier than Matt. She was crawling some by six months old. By nine months, she crawled swiftly across the floor. By her first birthday, she walked.

Time had a way of passing by quickly. It had been several months since Benjamin’s return. Christmas had come and gone. Sarah did very little decorating this year for Christmas. Benjamin did chop down a spruce tree for her and Sarah did her usual home decorations, including putting a wreath on the front door.

New Year had hit suddenly without warning. The spring of 1866 was fast approaching. In upcoming May, the war would have been over for a year. This day started out as any other. It was a perfect day, sunshine and bright outside. The birds chirped with the first sign of morning dew, the dawn over the horizon. Benjamin was the first to awaken at his usual 6:00 a.m. He dressed quickly and went into the kitchen. He brewed a fresh pot of coffee. It was the first thing he did every morning. In spring, he would be field plowing. Without oxen to bear the load, he had to rely on the one mule he did have left.

There was still a slight chill in the air, reminding him that spring had not quite arrived. The ground had hardened in the wintertime, but there were still soft piles of soil along the rows of land to be plowed. Benjamin was going to plow new seeds he had purchased. He had gone to town last week and bought vegetable seeds. There were slim pickings of corn, peppers, green onions, carrots and cabbage seeds. The land had been thriving at one time in ample abundance, the soil fertile and rich with red clay. Living near a sea town helped to keep the soil moisturized and viable. Several bays and channels were nearby.

Benjamin tried to not wake his wife and children. He looked as his children and Sarah lay peacefully sleeping in their beds. After pouring himself a cup of coffee, he went outside to the front porch. Sipping the coffee, he stood outside thinking about his life, where it had progressed and where it had gone wrong. His mind wondered to those war images that now seemed so long ago. Today would be a challenge. He did some harvesting in the fall after he returned home from the war. But with his knee injury, he could not do a lot of plowing. Sarah was just glad to have him home in one piece and alive.

His knee had healed some since he had returned from the war. By Christmastime, it was better. The soreness and pain had diminished some. Occasional visits to the doctor kept Benjamin going. The doctor would give Benjamin medication for the pain or bandage the knee until it felt better. The doctor advised him to stay off of his leg for at least a few days, but Benjamin still went on working on the farm. That was Benjamin – he never quit. He was like his father in many ways.

His mind wondered to rebuilding Rosalyn. He had enough money saved up to start the construction, but he needed to go to Virginia to see the progress himself. He had talked to contractors in the fall. They were ready to begin the project once all the supplies were in.

Benjamin went back inside the cabin. He got a biscuit and a piece of ham out from the icebox to eat for breakfast. He warmed them up in the oven for a few minutes. He didn’t have time for Sarah to wake up and cook him a meal. He needed to get going early that morning. After eating, he went back outside. He walked to the barn. There, he fed the animals their morning meal, making sure they had water to drink. He drew their water from the nearby well. He still had two cows, three horses, including Bucky, one mule, a few pigs and a handful of chickens left.

In another month, Benjamin planned to plow up the land to the west side of the stream. There, the ground was softer and easier to plant seeds. He had only a small amount of seeds per row. He couldn’t find potato buds or tomato seeds in town, which he desperately needed. He loved Irish potatoes and tomatoes which used to be served daily. Food supplies were rationed among families. He would have to make do with whatever he had available.

After spending the morning working around the farm, he stopped to rest. Benjamin was tired and needed to sit down. It looked as if the afternoon had come already with the sun high in the sky. Benjamin went inside for a bite to eat for lunch.

I was wondering when you would be finished, Sarah said.

I’m not finished yet. Just stopped for a little while to rest, Benjamin stated.

It is 1:00 o’clock, dear. You have been at it for several hours, Sarah said.

I knew it was getting later in the day. I stopped to get a bite to eat, Benjamin said.

Hungry? I have some stew fixed for you already, Sarah said. She poured Benjamin a bowl full of stew and served it to him at the dining room table.

Starving, I can’t wait to eat something, Benjamin replied.

That is a good sign you are healthy, Sarah said.

Benjamin looked at the stew placed before him. There were a few onions, green beans and carrots with small pieces of chicken meat in the bowl. How he wanted to have so much more for his family to eat. There was a slice of cornbread to eat with the stew. He drank a fresh glass of milk, which Bessie and Nellie provided for the family. Sarah sold Millie’s female calf to a neighbor and Bessie’s male calf Miracle had been auctioned off during the war. Times were hard then for everyone. Sarah would get money anyway she could to feed her two babies. They needed food in their stomachs.

Benjamin hastily finished his meal and cornbread. He started to get up to go back outside. He wanted to finish working by this afternoon. He tried standing up, but couldn’t. There was intense pain in his left knee. He had been on his feet too long at one time. He quickly sat down in agonizing pain, rubbing his sore knee.

What’s wrong, Benjamin? Sarah said, eyeing her husband’s expression on his face.

Oh, my injury is giving me fits again, Benjamin replied.

Why don’t you visit Dr. Stafford in town and this time be more adamant about fixing your knee, Sarah said.

I’m afraid there is no other solution, Benjamin said.

Just sit here for awhile and rest that leg, Sarah replied.

I will for a short time, but need to get back outside soon. I’m losing good time with the sun. Not enough light after 5:00 o’clock, Benjamin replied.

I’m tired of seeing you in pain and limping on it, Sarah said.

I may take your advice. Seems like it has been more swollen lately, Benjamin replied. Benjamin went to the bedroom and lay down for awhile before resuming his farm duties.

Benjamin would have liked to have many things for his family, including getting Miracle back. He represented something sacred to Benjamin. He had personality as a young calf. He was brought back to life, witnessed by his father and him. There was not enough money at the moment, however. Miracle would be enjoyed by another family for the time being. Benjamin intended to use the money his uncle had sent him last summer to start rebuilding Rosalyn. Every time he had mentioned it to Sarah, she became agitated and stopped talking to Benjamin.

Still, Benjamin had persisted and continued on in silence. It was best not to say anything about Rosalyn to Sarah. After all, she was the mother of his children and waited patiently for him during the war. He had sacrificed his life a year and a half for his country – the ultimate sacrifice. He had given of himself faithfully and courageously. Rosalyn would have to wait, but not for long.

Chapter One

Several days later…

Benjamin had decided to visit the family doctor in town again. His knee was doing Better than last summer, but ever so often, it would swell and be painful. Dr. Stafford examined it. The bandage and medication had helped some. Still, the knee would bother Benjamin on occasion.

You’ve got a severe tear in your ligament. That is what is causing you pain and becoming inflamed. Maybe stay off your feet as much as possible, the doctor advised.

How can I do that, doctor? Benjamin asked. "I have to do farm work sometime.

Besides, within another month, I will be field plowing."

I’m afraid you won’t be doing that this year. Standing on that leg just aggravates it more. Either use a crutch while walking or sit down, the doctor stated.

"The crutch just holds me back and I do sit when I can, especially milking the cows, Benjamin said.

Have you thought about having surgery on it? the doctor asked.

What does that involve? asked Benjamin.

Going into the knee itself and repairing the tear – the only way to relieve the pain and stop the swelling, the doctor said.

You can do that? Why didn’t you tell me this before? Benjamin asked.

Because of one thing, the doctor said.

What thing? Benjamin asked.

There is no anesthesia for surgery. There is no ether available. Medical supplies have been cut significantly after the war, the doctor stated.

No anesthesia! Benjamin exclaimed.

It very painful besides, the doctor said.

Tell me the details, Benjamin said.

You would need to stay off your feet completely to give time for the knee to heal, the doctor said.

How long? Benjamin asked.

At least six to eight weeks and follow instructions. Otherwise, the surgery is a waste of time and effort, the doctor stated.

What instructions? How would I get around? asked Benjamin.

You will be in a wheelchair at first. Then, you can revert to crutches in a couple of weeks, keeping that leg elevated while sitting. It should be better within a few months as long as you follow my instructions, the doctor stated.

I don’t know, doctor. Any guarantee it will help? asked Benjamin.

I can’t guarantee 100%, but it may help relieve some pain and stop the tear from tearing more. I will basically sew it back together, the doctor advised.

Can I think about it? Benjamin asked.

Sure, but I wouldn’t wait too long. You have already had this injury over a year, the doctor said.

What does that matter? Benjamin asked.

After so long, the leg may become less useful, the doctor advised. You will continue to have trouble walking on it, maybe even more so.

I will, doctor, Benjamin stated. He quickly left the doctor’s office that afternoon.

He wanted to discuss this with Sarah first. After all, this would take time to heal after surgery and time was precious. That night, he sat down to dinner. Sarah had prepared beans and cornbread with a thin slice of ham. Benjamin ate silently. Sarah looked up, noticing that Benjamin was quiet.

Penny for your thoughts, Sarah uttered.

What? Benjamin asked, looking up at Sarah.

Penny for your thoughts. You are in deep thought, Benjamin, Sarah said. Why so quiet tonight?

Oh, I visited the doctor again today. He thought I might want to consider surgery on my leg, Benjamin said.

Why is that? Isn’t it better than before? asked Sarah.

Yes, it is, but on occasion it hurts and swells, Benjamin said.

Can’t the doctor give you medicine for that? asked Sarah.

Yes, but he also wants me to stay off the leg at times. I have too much work to do around here, Benjamin stated.

I didn’t know it was that serious, Benjamin. I thought you had healed from your knee injury, Sarah said.

I did too. It is a constant reminder that I was in the war. A stupid fall - I blame myself, Benjamin said.

Don’t blame yourself. It happened and there is nothing you can do about it. I prayed that you would come back alive and in one piece. God has been good to us, Sarah said.

What did you tell the doctor today?

That I would think about it. There is no anesthesia for it. It would be very painful, said Benjamin.

You mean you have to have surgery while awake? asked Sarah.

Yes, I’m afraid so. No ether is available for surgery. Medical supplies were cut when the war ended, Benjamin said.

Sarah bit her upper lip. This bloody war was still winning. It would take weeks, if not months, to get over surgery. She needed Benjamin for the farm, if not for herself and the children.

Benjamin did continue to think about it. As long as he got the plowing done by springtime, he would be okay, he thought. Would he want to go for the rest of his life in pain or did he need to repair it now as the doctor advised? He decided to have the surgery done next Monday morning. Sarah’s mother would care for the children, while Sarah went with Benjamin to the doctor’s office.

It was an early morning in late February. Benjamin and Sarah had to be at the doctor’s office by 7:00 a.m. Julie came over early that morning. Benjamin couldn’t eat or drink anything before surgery so Sarah ate in private. She fed the children and got them dressed before her mother arrived. The doctor had advised that the surgery might take up to three hours. Sarah was prepared. She would drive Benjamin home after surgery. Julie cleaned the cabin and also changed the sheets in the master bedroom.

Sarah wondered what life would be like without her parents. They provided so much help to her and Benjamin. Frank would come over periodically and pitch in where he could help on the farm. Julie always contributed to the housework and caring for the children. She loved her grandchildren and so did Frank.

The children played that morning. Gina would play on the floor with her toys, but Matt would walk out the door, if not carefully watched. He was so much like Benjamin at that age: active, spontaneous and mischievous. He liked to run away if he could. He ran fast and without interruption.

Sarah and Benjamin arrived at Dr. Stafford’s office. The doctor was an old country doctor that saw everyone in the local area. He had been in the area for twenty or more years. He was a general surgeon too and did everything from delivering babies to more serious injuries, like Benjamin’s. Once inside the office, the doctor explained the surgical procedure. His assistant would be helping with the surgery. Benjamin would be monitored during the day and allowed to go home in the afternoon if all went well. Sarah sat outside in the waiting room and prayed.

As Benjamin went inside the doctor’s office, there was an adjoining room to the side.

That was where the surgery would take place. A long table was in the middle of the room. The assistant told Benjamin to disrobe. There would be a clean sheet placed over him during surgery. The doctor came in with a clean doctor’s robe on. He wore a white robe that tied in back. This made Benjamin nervous when he saw the doctor dressed for surgery. The assistant was also prepared for surgery in a white robe.

Nothing to be nervous about, Benjamin. You are wise to get this over with now, the doctor stated.

How long will I be in surgery, doctor? Benjamin asked.

As long as it takes. Hopefully not too long. Maybe a few hours at most. I will know more when I get in there and see what I’m working with, the doctor stated.

Is there anything for pain during the surgery? Benjamin asked, more nervous than ever.

Yes, it is right here in this bottle! the doctor exclaimed. After you drink this, you won’t care what I’m doing to you.

The doctor handed Benjamin a bottle of whisky. It was 100% proof. Benjamin wasn’t a drinker so wasn’t used to drinking, especially something 100% pure whisky.

You mean I have to drink alcohol beforehand? Benjamin asked.

Only thing I got to knock you out with, the doctor said. I will rub your knee with rubbing alcohol. It’s cool so don’t be alarmed. Keeps the infection down. The doctor then handed Benjamin a clean glass. He poured a glassful of whisky. Start drinking now.

While Benjamin sat sipping the whisky down, the assistant got the rubbing alcohol out to rub Benjamin’s knee. It was a disinfectant. It stopped bacteria from entering the body during surgery.

After Benjamin drank a full glass of whisky, he was getting sort of tipsy, but not completely out. The doctor ordered him to drink more of the whisky. The assistant finished rubbing the whole knee with rubbing alcohol. Benjamin started to slur his words some. The doctor knew he was close to passing out, but not quite yet. Benjamin drank another full glass whisky. By then, he was intoxicated. The doctor poured him another glass of whisky. Benjamin had barely finished his third glass of whisky when he dropped the glass on the table. The assistant quickly positioned him on the operating table. Benjamin was out of it. He wouldn’t wake up for hours.

I knew it would knock this boy out. It always does me on the first glass, the doctor chuckled.

The doctor started the operation. He took a scalpel and cut down Benjamin’s knee to expose the kneecap. Down at the bottom was a fairly big tear. It had torn some since his original injury. There was no infection visible, which Benjamin was fortunate not to have. The doctor delicately repaired the tear in the ligament, sewing in delicate stitches. There were no clamps or metals in those days to hold the tear together. He cleansed the ligament to prevent infection or scar tissue settling inside his kneecap. He carefully sewed his knee up in wide stitches so the knee could drain afterwards. It would start swelling soon after surgery. The surgery was over in two hours. Sarah had been waiting patiently outside, but wondered what was taking so long.

Dr. Stafford came outside to the waiting room. Your husband is doing fine. His surgery went well and he is stable. He needs to rest awhile before travelling back home, the doctor said.

Thank God! Sarah exclaimed. What did you find?

He had a rather big tear at the bottom of his kneecap. I stitched that ligament up. He was fortunate. There was no infection seen, the doctor stated.

What would have happened if there were? asked Sarah.

I would have given him medication to stop the infection, but if it were serious enough, he might have lost his leg. Being in the knee, it would most likely be above the knee, the doctor stated.

Sarah didn’t want to think about Benjamin losing his leg, not this early in life.

Maybe it was a good thing that he did have the surgery now. Oh, no! I was worried about that. So glad that it was not infected, Sarah said.

Your husband needs to thank his lucky stars, the doctor replied.

No, doctor. He needs to thank God, Sarah said.

He will be monitored until this afternoon. Once he wakes up, he can go home, the doctor said.

Is he going to be all right? Sarah asked.

Yes, but he will have one hell of a hangover afterwards, the doctor chuckled. He won’t be in any condition to walk for awhile. He needs to stay in bed this week, using only the wheelchair, if he needs to get up. In two weeks he can use crutches, but needs to keep the knee elevated at all times. The doctor then walked away to check on Benjamin again.

Sarah wondered what the doctor meant by a hangover. She knew beforehand that there wasn’t any anesthesia. Had he been given alcohol to drink instead? That meant he was intoxicated during surgery. The morning passed quickly. Sarah would not move from her seat. After a few hours, the assistant came out and told Sarah that Benjamin was stirring. He was not yet fully conscious, but she could go inside and see him.

There was an even smaller room beside the operating room. It contained a bed where Benjamin was resting. Sarah looked at him. He was out of it. He had no conscience of time. He was covered with clean bed linens. His left knee was bandaged. Sarah tried to talk with him. Benjamin lay motionless, but somehow Sarah felt he knew of her presence in the tiny room. There was one chair in the room also. Sarah sat down beside the bed.

Benjamin, Benjamin, the surgery is over with, honey. The doctor said you did fine and all went well in surgery. How are you feeling? Sarah asked.

Ahhh…, uttered Benjamin. He was trying to wake up. His leg had already begun to swell some as the doctor said it would.

Sarah faced Benjamin. He looked in agony. Was he in pain? She had no way of knowing right now until he came to. After several more minutes, Benjamin opened his eyes. He stared up at the ceiling and then at Sarah’s direction.

Sarah, bending her head down to pray, suddenly heard, Is it still there?

What did you say, Benjamin? Sarah asked. She stood up from the chair and came closer to Benjamin.

Is my leg still there, Sarah? Benjamin asked.

"Why, yes, of course it is. There was no infection, Benjamin. There was a big tear.

The doctor said it had torn more since your injury. He said he repaired the tear. It shouldn’t bother you much anymore," Sarah said.

That is good. I have a bad headache. My head is splitting. Can I get something for it? Benjamin asked.

The doctor said you would have a hangover when you awoke. Were you drinking?

Sarah asked.

Whisky, 100% proof. Only thing the doctor could give me to anesthetize the surgery, Benjamin replied.

Every time you drink, you get sick. I don’t condone you drinking for surgery, but if that alleviated the pain, so much the better, Sarah replied.

The doctor then came in to check on Benjamin. He gave him something for the headache. Are you hungry, Benjamin? You need to eat something, the doctor said.

Not too terribly hungry, Benjamin replied.

If you eat something, I will allow you to go home. I want to see some food in your stomach before you go. You need to build up your strength, the doctor stated.

The assistant brought Benjamin a warm meal.