Don’T Let the Devil Steal Your Joy: A Woman’S Journey from Abuse to Freedom

By Karen Elizabeth

Sadly, too many children are sexually and emotionally abused. Most never know freedom from their past and are instead living self-destructive lives, being robbed of the life and the person they were created to be. This book tells of the journey of a woman who was sexually and emotionally abused for a number of years as a child. This painful journey, with the help of her faith in God and counseling, impacted her life in ways she never imagined.

Memories of her childhood led to depression and suicidal thoughts and a greater fear of men. Instead of seeing the man who loved her, she saw the man who hated and hurt her. That and wanting to be with women ended her marriage. Left to raise two young children on her own, memories continued to flood her mind, intensifying hatred for self. She struggled with an eating disorder and used alcohol to block out the nightmares. She was self-harming through cutting became a regular occurrence, while suicidal thoughts occupied her mind.

Through Gods strength and relentless love, she persevered, although many times it felt too hard and wanted to give up, she knew God was bigger than what she was going through. Her faith enabled her to overcome fear, guilt, and shame. The devil sought to destroy her life through the lies spoken over her and seeks to do the same in all of us, and there are many areas in which he tries to rob our joy. But Jesus came to give us life, life that abundantly knows healing and freedom from our past through knowing him. This book is written to help the reader know they too can have victory over abuse through God who loves them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Mar 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524561079

Karen Elizabeth

The author has lived in Adelaide most of her life and started writing when she was seventeen, mainly poetry. She wrote her first book when she was nineteen called 'God's the Answer to Life on the Dole.' Although this book was never published and probably never will be, it was the starting point of what is now becoming a career in writing.

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Karen Elizabeth.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2017902963

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5245-6106-2

                Softcover        978-1-5245-6105-5

                eBook              978-1-5245-6107-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations in this publications are from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 03/10/2017

Xlibris

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

745069

Contents

Introduction

Preface

Chapter 1: Don’t Let the Devil Steal your Joy

Chapter 2: The Journey

Chapter 3: Perseverance

Chapter 4: Lose the Weight

Chapter 5: When We Get Hurt

Chapter 6: Grudges, Feelings, and Fear

Chapter 7: Don’t Worry, Pray

Chapter 8: Busy Beaver

Chapter 9: Forgiveness

Chapter 10: One Size Doesn’t Fit All

Chapter 11: Retrain the Brain

Chapter 12: Prepare for Battle

Chapter 13: Relentless Love

Chapter 14: Dare to Dream

Chapter 15: Living Free

Introduction

For as long as I can remember I have been writing, one English teacher said to me if I would read more, my writing would improve. I never liked reading, my hands needed to be active. Originally, I wrote a lot of poetry. When I was 17, my first place of employment—and not by choice—was in a bookbindery. I remember hearing myself say one time, while feeding books into the machine for the spine to be glued, ‘One day, my book is going to go through here.’ I realised what I had said and wondered why on earth I would say that because the thought had never crossed my mind that I would write a book. At the time, I was feeding in books for the Lutheran Bookshop. It was like this familiarity that I had with them, and that these were the kind of books I would write. It was weird. Not to God of course. Little did I know that God was planting a seed that some thirty years later would come into fruition. It did encourage me to write more. When I was 19, I wrote my first book called God’s the Answer to Life on the Dole. Not that it’s ever been published and probably never will be, but it was a good experience.

I found writing gave me an outlet to express how I was feeling, especially while I had no friends to talk to, and found it difficult to talk about my feelings even when I tried. I grew up in a loving Christian family where we were heavily involved in church, so a lot of my writing has been about God. In college, we were told what you are passionate about and the type of books you read are more likely to be the books you write about. I have always loved God and reading His Word. No matter how long you have been a Christian, there is always something new to learn; the fact that it was written thousands of years ago and still applies to our daily life is amazing.

We live in a world that is forever changing except God; therefore, His Word never changes, never grows old or out of date because Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His Word teaches us how to grow, have a better life here on earth, and prepare for life eternal. It tells of the greatest love story of all time between a father and his children through the greatest sacrifice of his son, Jesus, who died for our sins, and rose again so that we can live eternally with the one true love of the Father. But wait, there’s more. There’s always more to learn and grow in God’s word because God is a living and breathing God where His spirit speaks to our spirit, and there is no other book where this happens. God is our greatest cheerleader who is passionate about us, and cheers us on by giving us strength not to give up.

In 2007, I believed God wanted me to study writing as a result of writing metaphors, or what I called pictures from God that helped me with what I was going through at the time. As I shared them with my pastor, his wife, and my mum, they all encouraged me to write. So I studied Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing until Centrelink told me I could no longer continue, as it wouldn’t lead to employment, and that I needed to get a job or do a course where I could gain employment.

In 2009, I left and did other courses and worked in various places of employment, all the time without any success in getting a job in the area I was studying in. I felt confused, but trusted God knew what he was doing.

In 2012, the theme for the year at our church was ‘Dead Bones Will Rise’ based on Ezekiel 37 titled The Valley of Dry Bones. At the end of one of the sermons, the pastor said that he felt there were some people who had things in their life that they were creative in, or dreams and passions that had died, and God wanted to bring them back to life. After believing God had closed the door to writing, I now felt God wanted to bring it back to life; and the following year, I went back to college, as I believed it was what God wanted me to do, and what I needed to do to become a writer. I managed to pass my first subject and failed my second one and left.

For whatever reason, I felt God didn’t want me to have a degree in creative writing for me to become a writer. Something I’ve struggled with writing this book knowing all the great authors have a degree, are a pastor, psychologist, counsellor, teacher, theologian, or something along those lines. Me, I have none of the above, and have felt like a simpleton and one who’s not very well educated. Does that matter to God? No. So should it matter to me? No. We know what the twelve disciples whom Jesus chose to spread the good news were like. None of them had a degree, yet look at how God used them. I’ve learned it’s not all about me, but it’s all about God, and what he can do if I’m obedient to His calling. I’ve also had to learn not to compare myself with great authors. When I struggle in this area, I am reminded of Galatians 5:4, which says, ‘Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself without comparing himself to somebody else.’

It doesn’t matter what someone else is doing. It only matters what God wants me to do. In 2013, what I thought God wanted me to do was not happening, so I asked God what he wanted me to do. At the time, I decided to read Drawing Near by John Bevere. The first line in his introduction was ‘son, I want you to write’. I asked God if that was what he wanted me to do, and those five words came back to me, ‘I want you to write.’

I started writing a devotional book and a few other things, but nothing flowed or felt right. Then in the beginning of the following year while I was at a ladies Bible study, we were encouraged to ask God to give us a verse for the year. As I looked through my Bible, I could not get John 10:10 out my mind, so I looked it up and read it: ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ God spoke to me as I read this verse and told me that I had lived my life in the first part of this verse, and now it was time to live the second part of it. I did not realise at the time that this was the book God wanted me to write. It just seemed to happen, and as I started writing, it made perfect sense to be my first book.

At different times, when I have questioned God about writing this book because there are other books similar to it, I would be talking to someone, and they would be sharing with me what they were going through and it would be what I was writing about. So I knew God wanted me to help them just as He had helped me. I knew from studying creative writing that I needed to write something that wasn’t the same as others and felt like there were a lot of similar books written like mine. Again, I said to God, ‘Help mine to be different.’ But then I realised I didn’t need to because I am different, so what I was writing would be different. None of us are the same. We are all unique.

God has great plans for each one of us, and His number one plan for us is to be in relationship with Him. Not only to be in relationship with Him, but to grow in our relationship, so that we are able to enjoy the life Jesus came to give us.

Preface

I have written this book to share what God has done in my life through His relentless love and amazing grace, and is a prelude to another book I am writing called No More Secrets, No More Lies. As a young child, I was sexually and emotionally abused for a number of years; and as a result, it impacted my life deeply. The devil sought to destroy me, or to at least keep me down through the lies that had been spoken over my life. Although at times successful, the devil’s only problem was my faith in God—faith in the one true living God who is almighty and powerful and greater than the one who lives within the world.

Through His strength and relentless love, I persevered and never gave up. Although there were many times when it all felt too hard and where I wanted to give up. I knew that God was and is bigger and greater than what I was going through. The power of His Word, as I continued to read it, eventually opened my eyes to believe His truth and not the lies. It was the truth that set me free. Jesus, who died and experienced every form of sin in the world, understood what I was going through. For this reason, and knowing He would never reject or judge me, made it possible to talk to Him when I was unable to talk to anyone else.

I thank and praise God for the renewing of my mind, so that I can know His healing and the freedom to enjoy life—the life He planned for my two wonderful children and I to have. Because of choosing to deal with my past, at least most of the time, according to God’s word, I was able to keep my children and be part of their lives and for that I am incredibly grateful. We all have a choice in how we deal with pain in our life. At times, I found this difficult because it was not my choice to have what happened to me, and yet I had to choose how I dealt with it, which wasn’t always the right way. I have come to realise that it is because God loves us that He gives us freedom to choose.

I do not profess to have it all together. I am a work in progress, a work of art that is being perfected each time I allow my creator to work with in me. I thank God that He has given me my life back, and that I can now enjoy life through the freedom of Christ. God is good! He has redefined my life. God is compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love. He is gentle and kind. He believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Numerous times He saved me when I was in a pit of darkness and placed my feet upon a rock, giving me a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to my God (Psalm 40:2–3). Hallelujah! To God be the glory, for all that He has done, is doing, and going to do.

I have learnt through writing this book to be true to yourself. ‘This, above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man.’ Shakespeare, Hamlet.

CHAPTER ONE

Don’t Let the Devil Steal your Joy

In the beginning of 2013, the Holy Spirit revealed John 10:10 to me; and although I had read this verse many times before, it was the first time I felt God wanted me to know it in my life. When my children were little, we used to listen to Colin Buchanan. One of his songs was from John 10:10, which we used to sing and dance to. So I had not only read this verse many times before, but had also been singing it in my head for the last fifteen or more years. What does John 10:10 say? It says in the New International Version, ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ In the New Living Translation, it says, ‘The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.’

The spirit revealed to me that I had lived the first part of this verse, and that now it’s time to live the second part of it. Even though for most of my life I had not been aware of it, now that I am, I had a choice to continue living in the first part of the verse or embrace the second part of it. I thought about how we take precautions not to let our material possession be stolen. We lock our car and our house, make sure our purse or wallet or bag is in a safe place, so that no one will steal them; and if they were taken, would do whatever it takes to get them back. Yet, often, we allow the enemy to steal from us without saying a word. I realised that throughout my life, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I wouldn’t let someone in my home destroy it, I would tell them to stop. I would do whatever I could to stop someone stealing from me, yet I allowed the devil to