The Key

By Joy Shiplee

Tony Mallard, a smooth talking, half Italian, mechanical engineer, leaves the British Army after World War II to become a salesman at a London garage selling high class sports cars. After a series of events, including a romantic entanglement, fate leads him into motor racing where his life takes a different and traumatic direction.

Written with an in depth knowledge of the sport of this era, The Key will appeal equally to both men and women. Some women will love him and some will hate him, but he is, above all else, a man with a mission.

The Key is the first book of a trilogy about the people whose lives become entwined in the glamorous and dangerous world of motor racing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Oct 31, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496977700

Joy Shiplee

Books also written by Joy Shiplee are The Key, the first of the trilogy, and Litoki Dam and Twiga Camp, both written about Africa and her experiences when she lived there.

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© 2014 Joy Shiplee. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/30/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7769-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7770-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

To

A tall suntanned man in swimming trunks who walked boldly alone down from the dunes at Woolacombe one hot August afternoon in 1964, stopped half way down the beach, unstrapped his artificial leg, dropped it on the sand, and hopped the rest of the way to the sea to swim.

I never knew his name, but this my thanks for the inspiration that his courage gave me

CHAPTER 1

Margaret Harrison took a sip of her coffee, lit her first cigarette of the day and blew the smoke contentedly into the air. Paula’s tea shop as always on a Saturday morning was crowded with people. As she replaced her lighter back into her handbag, her fingers came in contact with the envelope that held her new perfume, and she could not resist a peep inside. Perfume was one of her rare indulgencies. The heavily made up assistant behind the cosmetic counter in Denton’s departmental store had assured her it was a sophisticated perfume. She longed to be sophisticated, like Laura, whose party she and Michael had been invited to that evening. Laura intrigued her, because of the way she attracted men, and the way she did it; but Margaret knew she could never ever hope to copy her. She lacked the courage and experience to even begin, let alone carry it through to any sort of conclusion.

She glanced at her watch. Michael was late. She poured herself another cup of coffee and looked out of the window at the hairdressers across the road wondering if she should have paid them a visit. She wore her long straight hair loose, but on special occasions, like tonight, she liked it pinned up on top of her head. It was another of her indulgencies; as was a shopping spree in the lingerie shop next door. She loved expensive clothes but could never afford them. The party dress in the bag on the window ledge was her first extravagance for a long while.

As she watched the people passing to and fro outside, an elderly lady dragging a basket on wheels paused to pick up a toy from the pavement and return it to the baby’s pram that was parked outside where she sat. Needless to say as soon as she had passed on the baby threw it out again. Margaret made faces at him through the window and he chuckled showing dimples in his rosy chubby cheeks. She sighed deeply and thought what she would give for one just like him.

She had been married to Michael for two years now and it was a great disappointment to them both they still had no children. Dr Fennel, her G.P. had told her not to worry about it and consoled her with the fact that she was very young and had plenty of time. At only nineteen, that she knew, so it did not worry her, but the friction it caused between her and Michael did worry her. He was big and broad and gentle and it was his kindness and dependability that had attracted her, a Second World War orphan, when they first met. She looked at her watch again; it was so unlike him to be late.

Just as she was about to speculate on the cause of his delay, an immaculate black Jaguar drew up at the kerb on the opposite side of the road and she recognised it as Tony Mallard’s car. Tony was Michael’s oldest and closest friend and as the two men got out of the car and stood to let the traffic pass before crossing the road, she noticed what a complete contrast they were. Tony was tall and thin, with a swarthy skin, and a shock of thick black hair. When he smiled his dark brown eyes seemed to glow from within and when he laughed his whole face came vibrantly alive. He had a charm that always attracted girls, but never became seriously involved with any of them. Michael said he was a rogue and that he had broken many hearts, but Margaret had the feeling there was a hidden serious side to his nature. Yet although she had known him for almost as long as she had known Michael, she had never managed to get underneath that veneer of his.

After entering the tea room, they came smiling towards her and Tony sat down at her table.

‘Sorry we’re late,’ Michael apologised as he remained standing, ‘but I had a flat tyre.’

Tony picked up a fork and began to fiddle with it. ‘The spare was flat too. In fact it was in a disgusting state.’ He grinned despairingly at Michael

‘It’s all right for you, I don’t get my tyres free, or my car for that matter.’

‘Oh don’t be so grumpy,’ Margaret scolded, ‘sit down and have some coffee.’

Michael looked at his watch. ‘I have to pick up that wheel before the place shuts, these garage people don’t work the hours I do.’

Tony laughed and held up his hands in a gesture of capitulation ‘Okay, no coffee.’

‘Come back to the house with us and I’ll make you some there,’ Margaret offered as she followed Tony to the door while Michael went to pay her bill. Tony held the door for her and she walked beneath his arm into the street.

‘Do you want to drive Mike?’ Tony tossed his car keys to Michael as he joined them on the pavement outside.

Michael headed the big Jaguar Mk 2 out towards Greens Garage on the outskirts of town and Margaret asked him: ‘Did you have a good game?’

‘Not bad.’ He let in the clutch carefully as the traffic lights turned to green.

‘It was a boring game,’ Tony argued. ‘Till Pricilla Simpson turned up. Now she is worth watching.’

‘On the contrary, it was a good game till she arrived on the scene, then it was impossible to get you to concentrate,’ he turned back to Margaret. ‘He hit two balls into the lake.’

‘That’s because a corner of it is in the way of the ninth green. Anyway, what’s wrong with looking at an attractive girl?’ Tony smiled to himself smugly. ‘I’m going to date her before the weeks out; her old man’s got pots of money.’

‘Tony, I’m ashamed of you,’ Margaret slapped him playfully on the shoulder. ‘You wouldn’t marry a girl for her money would you?’

‘Who said anything about marrying her? I’m going to take her out that’s all.’

‘Is that all?’ Michael asked amused. ‘You must be slipping.’

‘How do you manage to get away with it so often Tony?’ Margaret asked.

Tony turned to look at her his roguish eyes smiling into hers. ‘Get away with what?’

‘Not getting hooked of course.’

‘Oh that,’ he became serious. ‘Marriage is like a cage, not for me’

‘You want a wife and kids someday don’t you?’ Michael persisted.

‘No, I don’t want any children and I certainly don’t want a wife.’

Margaret laughed mirthlessly.

‘What’s so funny about that?’ Tony asked.

‘Oh nothing really.’ Margaret answered him. ‘I just thought that whoever governs our lives, makes us tick, has a weird sense of humour.’

‘Do you mean God?’ Tony turned again to look at her.

‘Do you believe in God Tony?’ she asked him.

‘I’m not sure I believe in anything that isn’t natural. That’s why I don’t agree with marriage, after all animals don’t get married.’

‘Yes, but we’re not animals.’ Michael joined in the conversation.

‘Yes we are,’ Tony insisted. ‘I don’t think we were ever meant to live as superior beings with separate laws of our own.’

‘That’s all very well but how do you expect a woman to bring up children according to animal law in our present day society? And there must be children or we would become extinct.’ Michael continued the argument.

‘Oh I agree, it would be difficult as things are today, but if we hadn’t evolved ourselves to our present state, I think we would be more fit to inhabit this earth.’

Margaret sat silently listening, surprised by Tony’s ideals. ‘Well we have come a long way from Tony getting married, but when you do Tony, I’ll come and help you sort out your cave.’

When he turned to look at her, she saw for a few seconds a deep sadness in his eyes, then he smiled and they twinkled again. ‘It’s a deal.’

Michael swung the car past the petrol pumps on the fore-court of Greens Garage, parked it, and Tony followed him inside.

‘About time you got this heap put back together again Alan,’ Tony indicated with a sweep of his arm at the various parts of a dismantled engine placed about the floor.

‘You can give me a hand if you like.’ Alan came forward grinning and threw the spanner he was holding in Tony’s direction.

Tony caught it and placed it neatly on the bench alongside the rest of the tools. ‘No thanks, I might get dirty. Incidentally, rule number one, never chuck spanners about.’ He had worked as an apprentice for Alan once. ‘I suppose I’ll have to put that wheel on for you,’ he turned to Michael wiping the grease from his hand with his clean white handkerchief and pocketed it out of sight.

‘You can do it a darn sight quicker than I can. Ships are my line not cars.’

Back at the golf course, Tony fixed Michael’s wheel and once again wiped his hands on his now not so clean handkerchief

‘It’s just as well you aren’t married,’ Margaret watched him critically. ‘You’d get it in the neck from your wife for doing that.’

‘The girl that I marry, if ever I do, will have to put up with things like that,’ he flung over his shoulder as he got into his own car, and drove away so swiftly that Michael had a job to catch up with him.

On arriving at the Harrison residence Margaret went straight to the kitchen to make coffee while Michael sorted through the post he had brought in from the mat. He opened the one from the shipping office first and swore out loud as he read it.

‘What’s the matter?’ Margaret asked with concern as she brought in the tray and set it down.

‘We’re sailing a day early, tonight in fact,’

‘Oh Michael, what about the party?’

‘We’ll just have to leave early. Tide’s not till ten thirty.’

‘That means we’ll have to leave at nine, just when things are beginning to warm up, oh it’s just too bad.’

‘Sorry darling can’t be helped.’

Tony saw the disappointment cloud her beautiful face. ‘Don’t worry, Cinderella shall go to the ball. We’ll go in my car, and then I can run you both to the docks and take Margaret back to the party with me.’ Michael’s dubious expression prompted him to add. ‘Don’t worry Mike, I’ll see her home safely afterwards.’

‘That’s all very well, but supposing you want to see someone else home, I know you.’

Margaret looked from one to the other expectantly.

‘Oh come on Mike, if I say I’ll do it, I’ll do it. You know that.’

Michael relaxed. ‘Yes I know. But you look after her mind, or you’ll have me to answer to when I come home.’

‘Well that settles it,’ Tony drained his cup and stood up. ‘Now I must be going.’

Michael walked with him to his car and Margaret pulled her ‘new look’ dress from its bag and held it against herself. She had to admit the colour suited her but she was still unsure about the fashionable low neckline.

‘That’s nice,’ Michael commented as he came back into the room. ‘I’ve always liked you in blue.’

‘It’s turquoise.’

‘Oh well same thing.’ He took her into his arms. ‘You’re not too disappointed about the party are you?’

‘Not so much the party as loosing you a day too early.’ They kissed tenderly.

‘I love you so much, I wish I didn’t have to leave you.’

She cuddled him closer. ‘So do I. Michael I wish… .’

‘You wish what?’

‘Oh nothing,’ she released herself. ‘I must get on with lunch, or we’ll never be ready in time for this evening.’

Laura’s party as always was full of noise and laughter. No one ever knew for what special occasion she gave them and when asked she would say it was because she liked having her friends around her. Margaret liked to be considered one of Laura’s friends and always enjoyed these social occasions, but Michael thought idle gossip and frivolous chit-chat a waste of time, although he did enter into both quite convincingly when called upon to do so.

At nine o’clock Michael gave his apologies and Tony drove the three of them to the dock where the cargo ship on which Michael was chief engineer was berthed.

He sat in the car and watched Margaret and Michael disappear away into the darkness. Now he could see nothing save a few dim lights, but there were unfamiliar noises all around him.

A constant soft shushing, clanking and scraping, footsteps that came and went; and distant voices that rose in command and were answered in the customary naval jargon. He began to wish he had not refused Mikes offer to ‘come aboard’ and have a drink in his cabin and lit a cigarette then wondered if he should in this place. As he pursed his lips and blew the smoke into the air he also wondered if he had been altogether too hasty with his offer to play fairy godmother to the most beautiful girl at the party; who also happened to be his best friend’s wife. While he was immersed in his thoughts, he heard the tap of Margaret’s high heels coming towards the car and he leaned over and opened the door for her. As she settled into her seat he noticed she had been crying. They drove in silence back towards Denton.

‘Tony do you mind if I don’t go back to the party?’ she asked at last. ‘It doesn’t seem right that I should go back and enjoy myself when he can’t.’

He didn’t know what to say to her. He knew Mike loved the sea and was just as happy to be back on the ship. ‘If that is what you want, of course not, though I imagine Mike would want you to go back and enjoy yourself.’ He also knew that Mike was not in the least bit jealous. He tried to imagine himself in the same situation and he knew that if she were his wife, he would not let her out of his sight for even one second.

‘I know, it’s silly of me. I’m not usually like this, but really I don’t feel much like partying anymore. Put me in a taxi and go back and apologise for me’

‘I promised Mike I would see you home. Are you sure you want to go home?’

‘Yes please.’

‘Then I’ll take you.’

‘I don’t want to spoil your evening.’

‘You won’t, I’d had enough anyway.’

‘You seemed to be enjoying the attention of the girls.’

He laughed. ‘The girls are okay, but they’re just pretty faces and low cut dresses.’ He looked at her and she pulled her coat closer around herself. There was an awkward silence. ‘Of course, that didn’t include you,’ he added laughing.

‘I’m not sure whether that’s a compliment or not.’

Again there was an awkward silence. ‘I mean, you’re different.’

‘How am I different?’

‘Well for a start you’re married.’

‘Felicity was married,’ she blurted out and wished immediately afterwards that she hadn’t said it.

He turned to look searchingly at her. ‘What do you know about Felicity?’

‘I know you went out with her, that’s all.’

He laughed loudly. ‘One can’t do anything in Denton without everyone knowing about it, and it’s very easy to acquire a reputation. I hope you don’t believe all you hear about me, most of it isn’t true. Give a dog a bad name and all that.’

‘No smoke without fire,’ she countered laughing. When he turned to answer her she could see the fire behind the smiling eyes and became serious. ‘Michael trusts you, and so do I,’ she was quick to add.

He laughed again changing the subject and the conversation to a lighter vein; and soon they were speeding past the few white houses that marked the beginning of Denton, and then on through the town, over the level crossing, out on to the Allen’s Wood road and finally home to Margaret’s house.

‘Here we are madam, safe and sound.’ He got out of the car and went round to open her door.

She turned to him as she stepped out. ‘Thank you Tony, will you come in for coffee?’

‘That would be very pleasant. Are you sure it’s all right for me to come in?’

She saw again the amused roguish smile as he looked back at her, and knew he was teasing her. ‘Oh Tony are you never serious?’

‘Sometimes,’ he answered, and thought as he followed her into the house, how easy it would be to be serious with her.

‘Have a seat,’ she nodded towards the sitting room and went to the kitchen. ‘I won’t be a minute. Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?’

He was very tempted to say he would, for he’d eaten nothing since lunch, and had hoped to fill up at the party, but he declined. It was as well not to stay too long.

He took the cup she handed him and stirred it carefully. ‘Seems funny being here without old Mike.’ He kept looking at the cream swirling on top of the coffee. ‘Don’t you ever get lonely?’

‘Yes, yes I do,’ she answered him cautiously.

There was silence while he carefully examined the spoon he was holding. ‘Would you—would you consider coming out somewhere with me—on Easter Monday? That is if you aren’t doing anything.’ He waited for her reply without looking up.

She hesitated only for a moment. ‘I’m not doing anything; I would like very much to go out with you.’

He dropped the spoon into the saucer and looked up smiling. ‘We’ll go—no, it will be a surprise.’ He drank his coffee quickly and stood up. ‘Well I’d better be going, or we’ll have the neighbours talking.’ They laughed as she walked with him to the door. On the step he turned to her. ‘Thanks for the coffee.’

‘It’s a pleasure. Thank you, for bringing me home.’

‘Also a pleasure,’ he affirmed and the happiness of a million pleasures danced in his eyes. He turned and was gone.

Back in the sitting room Margaret poured herself another cup of coffee, sat back in the big arm chair, stretched out her legs and arms and screwed up her face. She felt so happy at the prospect of a day out, like a child who had been promised a treat. Then she wondered what Michael would say when she wrote and told him.

On his way back to Laura’s party Tony thought about his date with Margaret and a sobering thought struck him. She was Mike’s wife. Once more in the swing of things he tried to forget her, but could not, and the girl he took back to his flat did not even come close to her. Now he knew there was no turning back.

Easter Monday seemed to Margaret as if it would never come; then when Tony rang her the day before to make sure their date was still on, she felt an absurd tingle at just the sound of his voice. She replaced the receiver and went straight away to see her dear friend and counselor Betty, who lived in the house next door, the only other house in the near vicinity.

Betty was upstairs making beds and her small son Andrew was fishing over the banisters with a piece of string. Margaret picked up the pencil from the telephone table and tied it on to the end of the string. ‘There’s a big fish for you Andrew,’ she shouted up the stairs. It was a game they often played and the little boy shrieked with delight as he hauled up the string with the pencil on the end.

‘Put the kettle on Margaret,’ Betty called from the landing, ‘I’ll be with you in a minute.’

‘Don’t be long,’ Margaret shouted back as she went to the kitchen. ‘I’ve got something to tell you.’

‘Well come on out with it,’ Betty’s curiosity was obvious when she joined her in the kitchen.

‘It’s nothing really, only I had to tell someone. I’m going out tomorrow with another man.’ Margaret chuckled. ‘Aren’t I wicked?’

Betty began to put cups and saucers on the table. ‘That depends on who it is.’

‘It’s Tony Mallard.’

‘Oh.’ Betty clattered down the cup she was holding noisily.

‘Well?’

‘I suppose it’s all right as long as you know what you’re doing.’

Margaret laughed. ‘You’ve been listening to gossip too. I’m surprised at you Betty.’

‘I know, don’t take any notice of me, you go out and enjoy yourself. Will you tell Michael?’

‘Of course! Why?’

‘I just wanted to know in case I said anything I shouldn’t.’

‘Oh Betty, you’re making it sound like an intrigue. I shan’t go at all if you say any more.’

‘There is no need to take that attitude. There’s often a lot of unnecessary unhappiness caused through an innocent misunderstanding.’ She smacked Andrew’s hand as he reached up to the table for another biscuit. ‘You won’t eat any lunch.’ she scolded him as she pushed the plate towards Margaret.

Margaret shook her head and stood up. ‘Neither will I, and I must go and do some housework.’

Betty smiled; she could never imagine what Margaret found to do all day. ‘Before you go, will you help me to move our wardrobe. Andrew has thrown some toys behind it and I can’t get them out.’

‘I certainly will not!’ Margaret hung the tea towel up to dry. ‘I’ll help Alex to move it when he comes home if you like, but you are not to touch it.’

‘Oh don’t be old fashioned, I wont break.’

‘Betty you don’t know how lucky you are. You’ve been given the most precious gift in the world, don’t risk destroying it.’ She could not hold back the tears.

Betty put her arms around her and hugged her close. ‘Oh my dear, don’t t cry. I promise not to move the wardrobe, now come on, smile.’ Margaret, she knew, wanted a baby, desperately. Still holding each other they walked together into the garden.

Easter Monday dawned fine and bright with the promise of a warm day ahead. Margaret had ample time to dress and wondered what to wear. Michael, she thought, would have laughed at her indecision. Dear Michael, she gazed at his photograph on her dressing table and wondered what he was doing. The ship would be in mid-Atlantic by now.

The bell rang just as she was finishing her hair and as she opened the front door to find herself face to face with Tony, a little inexplicable qualm of fear swept over her and she stood looking at him.

‘Aren’t you going to let me in?’ he asked, and the spell was broken.

‘I’m ready,’ she lifted her handbag from the hall chair and followed him out to the car.

Soon they were heading out into the open countryside. The sun sparkled on the bonnets of passing cars as they sped past them, and the trees were just beginning to show their new green leaves. Margaret sat happily silent, thinking how wonderful life was at this precise moment in time.

Tony glanced at her and got the same absurd feeling. He felt so happy he was afraid to speak for fear it would turn out to be a dream, but he knew this was real enough; and it reminded him that she belonged to someone else. He wanted to stop the car, turn round and go back. He even began to feel sorry that he had suggested the outing, for it presented a hopeless situation, but when he turned to her, she looked so radiantly happy that nothing else seemed to matter.

‘I think spring is the best time of the year,’ she spoke at last. ‘Where are we going?’

‘Wait and see. It’s not far now.’

He turned the car off the main road down a long narrow twisting lane and finally on to a bumpy cart track that ended in a green open space. ‘The sea is over there.’ He parked the car and switched off the engine.

They got out and Margaret walked in the direction he indicated, and there, over the rise beyond a clump of trees, was the sea, blue and sparkling in the distance. ‘Can we get down to it?’ she asked.

‘Yes, there is a village farther on with access to the beach, we can walk along the cliff to it, it isn’t far. Do you want to go now? I thought we might go there for some tea later on.’

Margaret looked up at the sky. It was clear azure blue with not a cloud in sight. ‘Can’t we get down to the beach from here?’

‘Yes it’s possible. It’s a bit of a climb, but there are little grassy places to stop and rest.’

‘Come on then.’ She set off.

At the cliff edge he overtook her. ‘I’ll go first.’

They slipped and slithered downwards. Margaret came to a difficult bit and took off her sandals and handed them to Tony.

He liked the feel of the thin leather straps in his hand as he carried on down. ‘This next bit is fairly steep. If you want a break, there’s a flat ledge just around this rock. Stay here and I’ll go and check it out.’

He disappeared out of sight and Margaret stood barefoot looking down at the sea way below her. There were children with buckets and spades playing at the water’s edge and a handful of people sitting in deck chairs on the shingle beach. She could feel the warmth of the sun upon her but the chill wind pulled at her hair and her dress.

As Tony looked towards her he caught a glimpse of slim bare thighs and white lace as she tried to button her cardigan and hold down her dress at the same time. He waited till her skirt was under control then shouted. ‘Its okay here, come on down.’

She picked her way cautiously towards him. He took her hand at the last foothold and she fell laughing into his arms.

It was the first time he had been so close to her and he tried in that brief moment to memorise the pleasure. He thought it felt like holding a child.

They sat down together in the shelter of the rock where it was warm and quiet.

Margaret could hear the sea faintly as it washed against the rocks below and out in the bay she could see the ‘white horses’ whipped up on it’s surface by the wind. It was a lovely day for sailing. Michael would almost certainly be out in the boat if he were here, and she would sit on the beach alone, for she was afraid of the boat and the sea. She unbuttoned her cardigan and lay back on the grass. ‘Mmm, this is heavenly. I’m going to sunbathe.’

‘You won’t get very brown like that.’

‘I don’t brown, I burn.’

‘This sun is not strong enough to burn you today.’

She sat up, took off her cardigan, then lay back again and closed her eyes.

He sat studying her. She was right; her fine pale skin would burn very quickly without some sort of protection. He tried to visualize her in a swimsuit. She had a good figure, what he could see of it. His thoughts broke off as the stem of marram grass he was twisting round his hands broke in two. He threw it away and pulled another. She opened her eyes as she felt the jerk of his body and their eyes met. He looked away and began to talk. ‘Mike and I used to come here a lot when we were at university, to sail and swim and climb. We used to discuss the things we wanted to do. His were always the practical things, that’s why he has achieved most of them.’

‘And you?’

‘Oh I’ve got around.’

‘You always do what you want to do don’t you Tony?’

He turned to look at her again. She was gazing up at the sky. Her green eyes were without a trace of guile and there was no caution in the relaxed spread of her body. She looked such a picture of wide eyed innocence it was difficult to believe that she had belonged to someone else. Yet there was an air of maturity about her that seemed to justify his need. He knew now it was the rare combination of the two that made her so very desirable. Her face reminded him of the cameo his mother used to wear, a face in stone that had fascinated him as a child, but this woman was flesh and blood. Even to look at her excited him, to touch her… . He leaned over and placed his hand on her arm pressing it on to the grass. ‘I want to do something now. Something I have wanted to do often before but never so much as at this moment. You can make one dream come true. Will you?’

He was very close and before she could answer he bent lower until his lips were on hers. She put her arms around his neck and returned his kiss, responding readily to the exciting unfamiliar touch as his hands caressed her body

He fought desperately to ward off the demons that plunged spears at him on every side in this private hell he had suddenly fallen into, for he wanted her so much; and she wanted it too, he was sure of that, but he had no right. He moved abruptly away from her and fumbled for his cigarettes. She sat up and took the one he offered her then put her hand on his to steady it while he held the lighter for her, then took his from his mouth and lit it for him.

He drew hard on it and blew out the smoke slowly. ‘Margaret I—I’m sorry, can you forgive me?’ He had ruined their beautiful day, for nothing could be quite the same between them ever again.

She flicked her ash away carelessly. ‘There’s nothing to forgive.’

‘Do you still want to go down on to the beach?’ he asked, knowing they could not stay where they were, or he would want to kiss her again and next time he might not be able to exercise as much control.

She shook her head. ‘No I don’t think so, not now.’ Now there was nothing she wanted to do but that which she should not, must not do, and she hated him for making her feel the way she did.

‘Then I think we’ll go and find somewhere to have some tea.’

It was a pleasant meal and Margaret got the feeling of being courted all over again. He paid her pretty compliments, was attentive to her needs, and she began to relax with him again.

He lit her cigarette, easily this time, and she watched him as he played with the ashtray. ‘I really am sorry,’ he said without looking at her. ‘I never meant to be such a clumsy fool.’

She leaned over and touched his hand. ‘Not a fool Tony, and certainly not clumsy.’

He took her hand and held between his own. ‘What then?’

‘I don’t know really. I think you must be very lonely sometimes like me, and I am truly sorry for you.’

‘Is that why you kissed me, because you are sorry for me?’

She was afraid to look at him for fear that he would guess the reason why she had kissed him, because the remedy for loneliness was as strong in her as it was in him.

He reached out and tipped up her face. ‘You haven’t answered my question.’

‘You know why I kissed you, for the same reason that you kissed me, because I wanted to.’

She saw again the sadness in those expressive eyes. He sighed deeply, released her hand and called for the bill.

It was dark when they reached the house and Tony held his cigarette lighter for her while she rummaged for her door key. Its flickering