No Fear: A Personal Memoir of My Journey with God

By Carine Colas Diallo

No Fear is about my decision to relinquish my total being to God when I was young. An inner voiceGods voicehad become a permanent part of me, speaking to me and advising me in times of trouble and danger.

My father was born in Haiti and could not provide any religious support to me and my siblings. However, my mother, who is also Haitian, a Christian, and an advocate of prayer, pushed and encouraged me to grow closer to God through prayer.

While I was a high school student almost thirty years ago, thank God my inner voiceGods voicespoke loudly and clearly to my conscious being. As I was heading into the girls locker room to change for tennis practice, all of a sudden, I heard my inner voice command me to leave the school building. At the entrance, I encountered a teenage boy standing there, who violently grabbed my arm and was trying to pull down his pants with his other hand. I kicked him hard in his groin, which forced him to the ground. I was free.

Years later, when I was a Peace Corps volunteer working in Guinea, West Africa, the government compound where I was living was attacked by an angry mob seeking revenge on a political figure whom they believed was corrupt. The night before, my inner voiceGods voiceinstructed me to pack a small bag. I escaped unharmed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 11, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490861265

Carine Colas Diallo

Carine Colas Diallo is the author of the award-winning book No Fear: A Personal Memoir of My Journey with God. She earned a master's in international relations and diplomacy, and she has worked closely with children in Africa and Haiti managing education, food security, and child protection programs. She is a proud tennis mom. Carine and her husband, Ben, have two children and live in Florida.

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Copyright © 2014 Carine Colas.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-6127-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6128-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6126-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014921246

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/11/2014

Contents

Introduction

1 Papie: An Unsung Hero

2 Mamie: Prayer Is Her Driving Force

3 Life as a Student

4 Messages

5 Peace Corps Volunteer: First Major Stepping Stone

6 My Work in Haiti: Back after So Many Years

7 My Work with Refugees

8 My Work with Africare: Second Major Stepping Stone

9 Ben: A Born Fighter

10 My Dream Job

11 Oumar: The Miracle Baby

12 Aicha: Her Beautifully Crafted Hands

13 Me: My Profession of Faith

14 Sneak Peek: Plans for the Future

References

For Ben, Aicha, and Oumar

Special thanks to Otis for encouraging me to write this book

Introduction

I’ve held high-level managerial positions with international organizations overseeing food security, child protection, health, and education programs in some of the poorest and dangerous countries in the world. After fifteen years in the international development field in Africa and the Caribbean, I put my career on hold to devote my time to raising my two children with no regrets. I frequently thought about writing a book that included my close encounters with death, especially while working in Africa, and how God unfailingly saved me every time.

However, everyday life managed to keep my dream of writing this book buried—until that glorious day when I met Otis. In 2013, I was conversing with Otis, a woman I had met at the neighborhood pool. I spoke to her about my experiences with God and angels. She asked why I was keeping all this information to myself instead of assisting and blessing people with God’s good news of hope and redemption. She gave me that extra push to write about my experiences.

This book mentions many people who guided and advised me, particularly as a teenager and young adult, when I was in search of greater wisdom and understanding of the world.

I thank my parents for believing in me, my father-in-law for his countless prayers, and Myron Golden for granting me the wings to fly high in my career.

1

Papie: An Unsung Hero

You can’t tell where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been.

—Unknown

On December 5, 1492, Christopher Columbus landed on the island of Hispaniola, which includes present-day Haiti and the Dominican Republic. Though Columbus found the Arawakan people occupying the land, he claimed it for Spain, and he established a settlement near Cap Haitian before returning to Spain. When he returned to the island a year later, he found the settlement had been demolished and that more than thirty settlers had been killed.

Following this discovery, Columbus traveled east and landed on the other side of the island. He transferred the capital of the colony to the new settlement in the present-day Dominican Republic.

Spain continued to establish colonies throughout the Dominican Republic but faced opposition from the French, British, and Dutch, who often seized the property of the Spanish settlers.

In 1664, the French government took control of the western part of Hispaniola, and the following year established a colony in Port-de-Paix. The French expanded their sphere of influence and eventually set up the colony in present-day Cap Haitian in the northeastern part of the island.

In 1697, the Treaty of Ryswick officially terminated Spain’s ownership of the western portion of Hispaniola, and the French were named the new proprietors. The French continued to establish colonies in the western part of Hispaniola, and in 1749, they settled in Port-au-Prince, which became the capital of the colonies.

In the 1700s, the French began to import African slaves to the region as labor to fuel their expanding sugar and coffee exports, which accounted for over 50 percent of both products consumed in Europe by the 1780s.

By 1789, about 500,000 African slaves inhabited the western region of Hispaniola. The laws enacted by Louis XIV, king of France, such as the Code Noir in 1685, legally permitted slave owners to utilize all means to maintain their authority over their slaves but required them to provide them with adequate food and housing.

Rebellions among the slaves evolved sporadically, and numerous slaves escaped. A popular slave who organized such a rebellion was Mackandal, who had come from Guinea, West Africa, and attempted to use his pagan beliefs and worship to overpower and eliminate the French colonists. After six years of conducting raids and killing over 6,000 people, he was captured and burned at the stake in 1758.

In 1791, the slaves in the northern part of the colony organized a revolt that commenced the Haitian Revolution. Duty Boukman, a pagan priest, planned a rebellion that spread throughout the colony. He was later captured and executed, but the movement grew larger and stronger.

In 1793, the French government emancipated the slaves throughout the colony. Under the leadership of Maximilien Robespierre, the French National Convention legally abolished slavery in France and its colonies. White colonists were opposed to this law and worked closely with the British to destabilize French rule. Toussaint Louverture, Jean-Jacques Dessalines, and Henri Christophe, all former slaves, formed an army that in 1804 defeated a force sent by Napoleon Bonaparte, and after conquering the French, Haiti was declared an independent state.

Haiti was the first country of color that fought and conquered European or foreign forces. Dessalines declared himself emperor of Haiti, but he was later assassinated by Henri Christophe and Alexandre Petion. France, England, and the United States placed an embargo on Haiti, which had a crippling impact on the Haitian economy. France agreed to lift the embargo years later, in 1825, only after Haiti had paid the exorbitant sum of 90 million gold francs it had to borrow at high interest.

Although former Haitian slaves had succeeded in obtaining Haiti’s independence, numerous revolts fomented by other Haitians caused political, economic, and social upheaval. Haiti had more than six rulers, each removed by coups d’état or by assassinations from the mid-1800s to the early 1900s.

In 1915, the US government sent marines to occupy Haiti and maintain a foothold there; this substantially limited the expansion of foreign businesses in Haiti. The United States trained the Haitian army and organized its first presidential election under the occupation. Roads were built, which encouraged American investment in Haiti. However, sporadic rebellions by Haitians persisted, and in 1934, the United States completed the withdrawal of its troops from Haiti. In 1947, the United States formally ended its control of Haiti’s finances.

In May 1946, Haiti elected National Assembly members and set a date of August 1946 for its presidential elections. Dumarsais Estime was elected president, and he revised the Haitian constitution to extend his term in office. He was removed from office by the army in 1950 and was exiled to Jamaica.

Presidential elections occurred that year, and Paul Magloire was declared president of Haiti on December 6, 1950. Like Estime, Magloire was removed from office in 1956 because he too wanted to extend his term. Personal greed ended his reign.

In September 1957, Francois Papa Doc Duvalier was elected president of Haiti. He was a doctor and a former minister of health regarded by many as a humanitarian and altruist. He had managed a US-funded anti-yaws program that aimed to decrease the spread of the contagious disease resembling syphilis in its early stages, which was caused by skin-to-skin contact.

Little did the world know that Papa Doc had a clandestine and well-thought-out plan to establish himself as dictator as soon as he became president. Upon his death in 1971, his son Baby Doc became president; however, he was forced to leave Haiti in 1986 because of mass corruption.

My father, Jacques Colas, known and referred to as Papie, was born in 1931 in Cap Haitian. I too was born in Haiti but immigrated to the United States with my family when I was just a few months old. His father, Ernest Colas, was an army officer with the Haitian government and earned about $120 Haitian—the equivalent of $120 American—per month, which my father explained was a significant amount of money then. His mother, Elzura Nicoleau, was a seamstress who died at age eighty-two. She traveled to the United States a few times to visit relatives, but she always returned to Haiti.

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When I was four months old

Papie’s parents were well-to-do middle class people who owned a spacious, five-bedroom house in the capital, Port-au-Prince. Papie was the sixth of nine children. His parents wanted their sons to complete high school, and they openly hoped at least one would take care of them in their old age. They didn’t put much hope in their daughters, who were expected to marry successful and financially secure men. At that time, a high percentage of women in Haiti completed only a few years of elementary school and were therefore unable to compete for well-paying positions. Several learned trades, such as sewing or embroidery, similar to what my grandmother learned as a girl.

Back then, most Haitians didn’t encourage their children to complete high school. According to Papie, most Haitians wanted their children to earn a decent salary to ensure they would be able to support them when they were old. My father began elementary school when he was about nine. In Haiti, there was no standard age for children to start school.

When my grandfather died of a heart attack at age forty-seven, all his hopes and dreams for his children were shattered. There was no longer a solid, consistent family income; the family was suddenly living in poverty. Papie distinctly remembers that at times the family didn’t have enough to buy food. Only two of the nine children obtained high school diplomas; the others lacked the will and money to pursue their education.

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Picture of my grandfather

Papie was only fifteen when his father died, but he was one of the two who had the will to get up at six in the morning to walk two miles to school to attend the morning session, walk two miles home, and then in the afternoon, walk to school again to attend the afternoon session. He never missed a day.

The Haitian educational system closely resembled that of the French. Students were on different levels based on their exam grades and academic achievements. When my grandmother was no longer able to feed and provide for the family, she left with three of the nine siblings to live with relatives in Cap Haitian; the other six, including my father, were left behind to fend for themselves in Port-au-Prince.

My father and his siblings occupied two rooms in the house their father had left and rented out the remaining rooms. Unfortunately, the tenants rarely paid their rent. Papie didn’t have money, and he recollects that at times, he didn’t have even a single grain of rice to eat—that’s how bad their situation was. Overall, his health was simply adequate—not great. He starved, but he kept pursuing his goal of becoming a successful student and holding an influential position in Haiti someday.

Despite the countless hardships he suffered, my father maintained his position in the honors classes and excelled at school. He eventually obtained tutoring jobs and was paid about $30 Haitian per month, enough to buy food for his siblings and cover expenses such as books and materials. Unfortunately, while taking his final exam, he fell gravely ill and was unable to complete the test. He retook the exam a year later in 1954 and graduated from high school at age twenty-two.

Only 50 students graduated from his class; 200 others did not receive their diplomas. The 50 took college entrance exams to fill the 800 spots available in the engineering department at the University of Haiti (UOH) at the national level. Only eleven students passed the exam, and once classes commenced, three failed to maintain high enough grades to continue. Those who passed matriculated at the University of Haiti, and all their expenses were paid. My father was among the eleven.

During his four years at the university, my father lived in Port-au-Prince and had to walk only a mile to the university. Papie maintained a 4.0 grade point average while working to support his siblings and pay the bills.

Before graduating from the UOH, Papie obtained an internship with the Ministry of Works, where he earned $45 per month. My father was one of eight students in the country to graduate from the UOH Engineering Department in 1958. Since there were several jobs available in his field and few graduates to fill these positions, he obtained his first official job immediately upon graduating. He worked for the Haitian Ministry of Education, designing and constructing schools for $150 per month. At that time, there were no private contractors in Haiti, and most well-paying professional positions were offered primarily by the Haitian government.

In 1959, while Papie was working with the Haitian government, he took a battery of exams administered by the United Nations. He passed and obtained a scholarship to study engineering in Europe. The United Nations offered fourteen scholarships to students from countries such as Haiti, Cuba, Colombia, Argentina, and Costa Rica. The scholarship covered food, housing, fees, transport, and personal expenses.

Papie fondly remembers flying on one of the first transcontinental jets. The route to Europe was via Jamaica, the United States, and France. My father was the only person of color to obtain the UN engineering scholarship. He boarded the plane knowing that as a young black man, he could possibly encounter racism overseas, but he was courageous and mentally prepared for challenges.

Contrary to his expectations, he didn’t experience racism in the UN system or while training in Europe. His training lasted for one year, during which he spent six months in Spain, three months in France, and three months in Italy.

Papie returned to work with the Haitian government, headed at the time by Francois Duvalier. Papie could have investigated and identified clandestine and illegal methods of remaining in Europe; however, he wanted to go back to Haiti to assist his impoverished country. He believed he could have a positive impact on Haiti’s development because of the skills he had gained overseas.

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Papie representing Haiti at the UN training in Europe

Following his training, the government increased Papie’s salary from $150 to $200 per month, but according to him, he received only $160 per month due to corruption in the Ministry of Education. Those who paid employees systematically pocketed a portion of their salaries. Papie felt it was unjust, but he was still elated to be working and earning a decent living.

The United Nations organized a number of meetings in the 1960s in Mexico, where representatives from South American and Caribbean countries came to present their countries’ strategies in areas including health, education, and infrastructure. Papie attended three of those meetings while employed by the Haitian government, and at the last one he attended, he presented his methodology for the development of school construction in Haiti. His paper detailed the Haitian government’s plan to conduct topographical studies and assessments to determine Haiti’s needs and requirements for school construction. Papie effectively represented Haiti, and he garnered sufficient support from the United Nations for it to at least consider assisting Haiti.

At that time, the United Nations’s policy on assistance to countries was similar to what it is today; it clearly indicated that countries had to take full responsibility for the implementation of the initial phases of the plan before it would help, believing that approach would foster the sustainability of the country’s programs and activities. At that time, Papie had obtained the training and experience that made him a valuable asset to the Haitian government, and he was at the height of his career.

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Papie awarded his certificate of training from the UN in 1959

After living in Haiti in extreme poverty and then fighting for many years to obtain an education and professional standing, Papie seemed to be living his dream. In terms of religion and establishing a relationship with God, Papie claims that at that time it was difficult. My father was born at a time when he says society had no structure. In his words, it was a chaotic period during which fighting and rebellions were rampant. Haitians had been exposed to Christianity through missionaries, but Papie expressed that his father, for example, was not interested in learning more about Christ because he believed his role was to provide for his family and to fight for his country. His father was not taught how to worship God and therefore wasn’t a viable model for his children in terms of religious formation and training.

His mother started attending church only when missionaries began establishing a greater presence in the region. Missionaries brought more structure to Haiti, especially during those chaotic times, and they were beginning to persuade Haitians that God was their answer to better, brighter, and more-hopeful futures.

My father attended church services with his mother, but he soon discovered that priests and church members worshiped God and the Devil simultaneously. He was aware at a young age that it was wrong to worship God in that manner, but Papie claims it was at this point that he no longer had confidence in the church. Papie strongly believes the church should have firmly and clearly expressed to the masses its views on mixing Catholicism and devil worship but that it failed to teach Haitians that was a detrimental practice.

In addition, numerous people were proclaiming to be prophets. For these reasons, Papie had taken his stance and refused to attend church services. To date, his views on that matter have not changed. It also appeared that his parents were unwilling to commit to worshiping only God. Papie explained that in 1940, in the house in which they were living, huge rocks flew out of nowhere and objects suddenly and forcibly moved about the house. First, his parents contacted a Catholic priest to pray and ward out the evil spirits in the house. The Catholic priest was unsuccessful, and soon thereafter, his parents contacted a pagan priest, who was able to remove the spirit from that particular home. The spirit, however, followed family members to other venues and continued to persecute them.

Papie got married in 1964, when his career and financial status were well established. A year later, his first child—my brother—was born, and I was born in 1967. Papie was still employed by the government, but Haiti was going through a very dark period under Papa Doc’s leadership. Papie had the inclination and a strong and unwavering feeling that he would someday leave Haiti in search of a stable and less-violent environment in which to raise his children.

Papa Doc had been born in Haiti to an immigrant family that had originated in Martinique. As a young child, he had hopes of becoming a doctor. He did earn a medical degree and served as a doctor in rural Haiti. In 1946, he became the director general of the National Health Service, and four years later, he was named the minister of health and labor.

When Papa Doc became president in 1957, he reduced the size of the army and put in place the Tonton Macoutes, a group recruited to exercise a reign of terror to keep his opponents to a minimum. These people, recruited mainly from the countryside, were uneducated; they had rarely completed any studies. Duvalier preferred to utilize uneducated people in his government because the more-educated and elite people in society would inevitably challenge his rule. Most people working in the government knew Papie was an educated Haitian earning a decent salary.

One day, all the governmental bureaus were instructed to attend a rally at the presidential palace, where Duvalier delivered a speech about politics in general and pushed his black-nationalist ideologies. At the end of the speech, he made it clear that all opposed to his government would face tragic consequences. Duvalier had organized several such gatherings, and my father had attended that particular rally and several others. However, someone at his office asked him why he hadn’t